siigh

January 14th, 2006

when days are as shitty as the one i just had today, i’m thankful for the little perks like midnight dim sum with the awesomest guy ever.

i’ve been awfully melancholic lately. no matter what i do i can’t jilt myself out of this jaded state. from the moment i wake up till the moment i sleep, i’m just one big blank of sadness. even my dreams are getting dismal. i can’t laugh anymore without it having the slightest hint of phony. “i’m okay, i feel better now” is beginning to sound very profuse, to me and to the people i say it to.

sometimes i cant help but feel like i’m drowning in the realization that things are too vast. probabilities too abundant. i’m not even treading any water here. this feeling of not being able to oversee anything is frankly very frustrating. the control freak in me wants out.

i dont really know what i want to say. am just so sad about a lot of things right now.

Entry Filed under: Musings