Lovesong to Someone

you bind my heart like a straightjacket. i cant stray now, i cant breathe. all i want is for you to know what you’ve done to me.

when we sleep and when we kiss. that feeling of skin on skin; undescribable. unbelievable. it’s like coming home to someone i know, with a quiet shut of the door and curious eyes that surrender. what can i expect today? i’m watching you sleep. as i draw my fingers across the tempered arch of your back, i suddenly want to just grab fistfuls of you. i want to melt into you like mercury. curl my fingers around the roughness of your skin and imprint the lines of my palms into you so that you are forever mine. this abrupt violence, it’s so implosive i could cry. i cant press myself any tighter against you, this vacuum between us is unbreachable.

i’m scared sometimes, that i may break you. my porcelain doll. my castle of cards. i’m so afraid that i may. but when i dream, you’re all over the floor. in bits and pieces you lie, and i can reach down and pick you up, and inspect you. i can know you, and understand you, and know why you say the things you say and why you fret so over storms in teacups. you and the worried corners of your eyes and the ambivalent taut of your shoulders.. cant you see that i love you too?

i give you all the time in the world and you give me all the confusion in the world. is it so difficult? must we dwell on the big picture? i like the little details. they are comforting because they are insignificant. it’s hard to understand consequence. it’s so pregnant with possibilities. i dont like some of them. they’re too harsh and so out of our hands.

as you sleep, you murmur into my neck. a soft kiss that lingers, and for a brief moment i savour the feeling of the tip of your tongue on my skin. then you reach for my hand, and you clasp it, and when that’s done you hurtle back into the maze of your lethargy again. you’re just so much like a child.

i kiss your forehead and press myself deeper into your side. we are like puzzle pieces. and that’s the last thing i think of before i close my eyes.

curly-haired angel. i know you even in my sleep.

17 comments February 7th, 2006