Act 2, Scene 2 : The Living Room Scene

March 31st, 2006

the thing with throwing tantrums is that it’s only worth the effort if you have an audience. breaking vases, screaming, hitting walls .. such contrived actions that make sense only when someone can bear witness to your rage. the pyres of our fury and a quickened pulse give us the impression that we have lost control, that we have succumbed and fallen into the dark pits of our rabid anger, and that there is absolutely nothing we can do about it. but that is a lie. we are in fact very much in authority when we are throwing tantrums.

when a person is angry, she or he can be so manipulative especially when said person does not usually get angry. i think subconsciously we all know that. when we dont get what we want, we throw tantrums and we say things we normally would not say. cos there is something about anger that lends justification to harsh words and superfluous actions, and we take advantage of that. to get what we want. or sometimes just to get a rise out of the party who caused this whole shit in the first place. i mean, if it were not for you i would not be standing here cursing your bloodline to the endless torments of hell, for i would be in my office indulging in my cafe au lait that is now getting cold. so i hope you feel scared now, you little piece of shit, or guilty, or perhaps even a little bit pissed off, so that i may therefore be vindicated in all my four-letter-worded rage.

when i see angry people i must marvel at their theatrics. good show, good show, i think to myself. such impeccable acting, such chemistry between the characters! the drama! i love it! you fling that ashtray on the floor because the sharp sound of breakage causes your victim to flinch. you throw that wedding ring in his face or rip off that friendship bracelet not because it disgusts you to still be wearing it, but because you know how much it means to that other person. of course you do. and in this apparent pageantry of how it doesnt mean anything to you, you hope they get their feelings smashed to the ground. you run into your room and slam the door not because you want to hide, but because your anger and indignance is measured by the loudness of how hard your door slams. so that, y’know, they know that you’re realllyyyy pissed.

tantrums are so calculated. frustrated sighs, the subtle tone of threat in our voices, the way we rake our right hand through our hair or throw our arms up in the air … they are so inconspicuously clever! where do we learn all this stuff? small things like those are amplified in the heat of discord and argument, and of course we know that. that’s why we do it.

i totally derive entertainment value from tantrums when i am not the one throwing them. i also completely open myself up to the didactic element of other people’s tantrums. when my antennae detect a likely outburst in the room, i instantly prepare myself for information absorption. why? so i can learn, and so that the next time i get angry and hysterics are in order, i know how to better improve the execution of my tantrum, to get what i want in a shorter amount of time and with the least possible effort. but of course.

Entry Filed under: Musings