The Da Vinci Code
May 19th, 2006
first of all. let me just say that. i am so let down.
if i were to compare the movie to the book - i did not like it.
if i were to judge the movie by itself alone, without having read the book - i still would not like it.
i knew that i would be sorely disappointed with The Da Vinci Code movie, so before i went in, i kept telling myself to not expect so much, keep standards low, dont expect it to be even 50% similiar to the book’s plot, blablabla. i went in telling myself - this movie is going to suck. so that way, there is no way that it can be any worse than my pre-concieved notions of the flick - and so ultimately, i will kinda like the flick!
but. no.
first of all, i understand that yes, the moviemakers have a lot of shit to cram into 2.5 hours. i also understand that adaptation from a book is never easy. i also know that they are gonna be releasing an extremely anticipated, and a heavily debated against, and a DANGEROUSLY CONTROVERSIAL movie to the vicious masses, so they have to tread very carefully.
but omg. why did they have to kill the movie the way they did?!?!?
okay let me tell you where this movie went so wrong.
in comparison to the book - assuming you have read it - they took out a lot of the plot. A LOT. like you know how the cryptex was actually a 2 in 1, the first code being SOFIA, and the second being APPLE? well it’s only got one code in the movie - which is APPLE. that was probably done to save time, but STILL. the part in the book where they discovered the first code was so jawdroppingly unbelievable!!! not to mention how the fact that there was a 2nd code behind the 1st really highlighted the extremely crucial role of the cryptex. in the movie, the cryptex was like -
‘oh this old thing?’
besides complete plot blackholes, some parts got drastically altered to save time or to keep the movie flowing. unfortunately, for people who have read the book, we know that this isnt to the moviewatcher’s benefit at all. cos by snipping the plot here and there and then tying up random bits together, it made the movie so choppy and so lame and so stupid and so banal and so .. omg give me my money back.
like for instance. you know the completely serendipitious moment when Langdon figured out the APPLE code by glancing out the window and seeing the apple blossom tree?! not there anymore! the movie made it look as if he JUST SUDDENLY got the answer in 2 seconds.
okay maybe that was a bit forgivable. but not this one. you know how Sophie and her brother were never actually in the car crash, and her brother was whisked away while she was sent to Sauniere? yeah well, the movie says that her brother and parents DID die, Sophie managed to survive the crash, and that Sauniere wasnt even her real grandfather. wtf, right? the book was so touching because of how much Sauniere loved his granddaughter. it gave it a special kind of warmth, and made his death so much more powerful and poignant. but yeah, the movie just had to kill that.
so in the end, no, there is no great sad teary reconciliation between Sophie and Brother, because Brother has died. gee, thanks. however, Grandmother was there, but the scene was so poorly done. not intimate at all, and just made me want to laugh out loud at the lame incredulity in which it was presented.
oh, did i mention that in the movie, young Sophie was sent away to boarding school?
and that she discovered the sex ritual when she came home early from boarding school?
…………
hahahahahhaa.
i dont even know why they had to include the boarding school bit. so lame, so lame, so lame. and the reason why there was a falling out between her and Sauniere, was not because of the ritual she witnessed (which by the way, was done in the living room instead of the grandiosity of a secret basement), but because she was found prying in her grandfather’s study for information on her parents’ death. yah.
some plot changes are forgivable because they are insignificant, but some are not. i am still sore about them taking out so many important scenes.
also, many scenes would have been delivered with a bigger POW! if they had just stuck to the way the book did it. for instance, the scene where Silas finds the stone that says Job 38:11? in the book he looked up the verse in Saint Sulpice’s bible, and it would have been SO. DAMN. GEMPAK if they had did that instead. can you just SEE how exciting it could have been - a nervous and shivering Silas excitedly flipping through the bible to find Job 38:11, locating the verse, then following it with a shaking finger, with the camera then slowly revealing the words -
‘Hitherto thou shalt come, but no further.’
i mean, wow. how acutely powerful is that??? and how well does that highlight the brilliance of Dan Brown’s mind??? but. no. moviemakers decided to have a threatened nun recite the line so fast that the prospect of her death overshadowed the genius of the verse.
some may say that it’s unfair to compare the movie to the book. so, okay, i wont. here’s how i thought it fared on its own.
like the Job 38:11 scene, many other scenes could have been executed much better. Silas’ self-mutilation with his cilice belt and whip looked like something that was just included to add a bit of gore factor to the movie. if only they had put in a bit of a soliloquy before he did it, like asking God to forgive him for commiting murder, then his self-punishment would have made more sense to the audience.
some other poorly executed scenes were the ones at the Louvre, where the audience is introduced to the O Draconian Devil and Oh Lame Saint anagrams. oh man. the way they skipped through those crucial moments made me want to scream!!! they almost dismissed the codes, and made them seem so kindergarten. even the brilliance of the double entendre Fibonnaci sequence was downplayed. and the Madonna on the Rocks code?! solved in 3 seconds. arghghghgh. to someone who hasnt read the book prior to watching the movie, the codes looked almost secondary and useless and .. sophomoric. the DVC has been robbed of its magic, robbed!!!
the movie even started out wrong. how many people thought that the scene where the police officer came to retrieve Langdon at his book signing was badly done and did not convey the extreme importance of Sauniere’s death?!
i also have major beef with the cinematography. it so sucked. i have never seen a big-budget movie with cinematography as pathetic as this one. look, Leigh Teabing is supposed to be a damn rich dude right? when we are introduced to him, a huge sweeping long shot of his magnificent study and his mansion would have been nice and impressive, to establish just how affluent this guy is. however, for some weird reason, the moviemakers scrimped and introduced Leigh Teabing in a small and very ungrand living room with too much furniture and a homey-looking kitchen. this pissed me off so much. also when we were shown the codes in the Louvre, why couldnt they have panned out and shown the whole code in its entirety, then let the camera linger there for a bit?! they just kept showing us small flashes of part of the code, and it was so freaking annoying, and made it difficult to see or even comprehend what the hell the code was.
the only scenes that were done well were the action scenes - like the cop car scenes, and the one when Sophie and Langdon were escaping in her Smartcar. besides that, nada.
as for pace .. it moved too quickly and didnt provide ample explanation for many things. this is forgivable, i guess, seeing as how they have so much to stuff into 2 and a half hours, and how they probably assumed that the whole world read the book. but to people who have NOT read the book, they will be so at sea. understandably so. the movie is total information-overload in too short a span of time.
oh and here is my biggest complaint of all.
they turned Robert Langdon into a whinger.
why?
to placate the christian viewers.
how?
you know the part in Teabing’s study when he and Langdon both explain to Sophie about Christianity? you know how in the book they both just EXPLAIN everything, from the divinity of Christ being a result of a vote, to how Christianity is basically lifted off pagan rituals, to how Mary Magdalene is the Holy Grail, blablabla? yes, well, in the movie, only Teabing does it. and Langdon actually - get this - ARGUES with him. Langdon says there is no proof of such allegations, and that it’s not true. and then when Teabing brings up the Council of Nicaea and how they were the ones who decided that Jesus the mortal should be made ‘Son of God’ to recruit more followers, Langdon launches into a passionate speech on how they were just making official an already widely-accepted belief that Jesus is Son of God.
OH MY FISH.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT.
and at the end, there is this cringeworthy scene where Langdon tells Sophie how when he fell into a well when he was younger (as detailed further in Angels and Demons), he prayed to God, and at that instant he suddenly felt that he was no longer alone.
i mean. come on. i’m christian and i love God. but. that. scene. was. just. so. argh.
oh oh oh and how about that ridiculous introduction of this new mystery clandestine body called ‘The Council of Shadows’ who took the blame for ALL controversial bits in the plot instead of the Catholic church?!?! this was by far the most ridiculous part of the whole movie, and such a lame way to escape angry audience backlash. i mean, come on. ‘Council of Shadows’??? *rollseyes*
damn scriptwriter. we know what you’re trying to do!!!
what else. oh. i also think they could have given a lot more dimension to their characters. the Teacher seemed almost insignificant, and when Remy the butler was suddenly shown as the villian, the twist was so pathetic it was almost laughable. and i dont think the audience could even connect well enough to Sophie to buy the fact that she is a descendant of Christ. oddly, Silas was given the most depth. not even Robert Langdon was spared the horrific character butchering.
the only thing about the movie that really impressed me was the dialogue between Sophie and Langdon at the end. he asks her what she would do now with the knowledge of the existence of Christ’s bloodline - destroy the belief or renew it? it’s a powerful and analogical question that can be related back to the existence of the DVC book itself. i also really liked Ian McKellen’s acting. he is the perfect Leigh Teabing, and completely overshadowed all other actors in this movie.
siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.
all in all, disappointing. a 1/5 with the 1 going to Ian McKellen and the moviemaker’s ability to rush everything like greased lightning, yet provide some semblance of continuity albeit not much.
bottom line : The Da Vinci Code was robbed of its magic. there is no ingenuity in this film at all.
Entry Filed under: Reviews
42 Comments Add your own
1. george | May 19th, 2006 at 3:20 am
let’s hope they get enough money to make silas eyes red in the dvd version..
haha
couldn’t they afford contact lenses?
possibly the biggest let down of the year
2. Jay | May 19th, 2006 at 3:55 am
Thanks for the very detailed review of the DVC. Interesting.
3. reallybites | May 19th, 2006 at 4:33 am
now i dun wanna watch it anymoreeeee
she came back from uni/coll right? read the book so long ago…forgot the plot di…
4. alvin | May 19th, 2006 at 7:45 am
i hate you! It’s not easy to get ticket Ooookay. Had to line up some more. Now two days before the movie, you just ruin everything. Hem!
5. ianfluenza | May 19th, 2006 at 7:58 am
NNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Due to the sellout at the ticket booth, I haven’t seen it yet!!! It’s just like finding out that Santa Claus did not exist!!! Anyways, the critics from Cannes Film Festival bombarded heavy rounds of dissatisfaction and negative response on the film. So I have a rough idea on how badly-accepted the picture is, from a non-religious perspective. SIGH~~~
But I’ll still watch it. Die Die must watch! (And keep your criticisms in mind while watching them!)
6. Da Vinci Code Stuff &raqu&hellip | May 19th, 2006 at 8:22 am
[...] This blogger from Malaysia is extremely disappointed in the compromises made in the movie, compared with the book, from Su Ann [...]
7. Calypso | May 19th, 2006 at 9:28 am
Jer all my enthusiasm of watching it washed down the drain…blah
8. loud | May 19th, 2006 at 9:57 am
It’s ok, X-3 is out soon! =)
9. KY | May 19th, 2006 at 10:06 am
looks like this won’t be any better than the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy adaptation, that one was horshit too. now i’m feeling like really not going to watch this one.
10. mervkwok | May 19th, 2006 at 11:17 am
That bad huh… I’m having second thoughts about watching the movie now. I shall need to brainwash myself and tell meself that the movie is not The Da Vinci Code haha.
11. argee | May 19th, 2006 at 11:29 am
heh..i dunno. i thought it was good entertainment.
Ian McKellen stole the show indeed. i luv the part where they had to answer 3 questions to enter his mansion. lmao.
i tot the argument between teabing and langdon was brilliant.
though i felt annoyed at how they portrayed the council of nicaea as some sort of market place….so uncivilized…lol
overall, not bad trying to cram a whole load of stuff in 2 1/2 hours.
now, let me go learn french. lol
12. Chuang Shyue Chou | May 19th, 2006 at 11:48 am
Wow! I am surprised at the detailed scene by scene comparison.
I take it that you are a huge fan of Dan Brown?
13. kimberlycun | May 19th, 2006 at 12:53 pm
omg sounds incredibly horrible…will still check it out though coz i wanna drool over tautou
p/s: nice meeting u the other night! :D
14. Chapree Da Grande | May 19th, 2006 at 1:03 pm
Awesome review! Very-very detailed. I guess eveybody that read the book agree on what you’ve said. It’s too fast! >_
15. Bryan | May 19th, 2006 at 7:07 pm
Just watched it this afternoon. I give it 7/10, just because I have not read the book and understand almost everything in the movie. :D
For me, everytime I watch a movie that originated from a novel/comic/whatever book, I will only take the movie as it is. The movie stands on its own and have no relationship to the book at all. That will make you better enjoy the movie.
One thing I don’t understand :-
Why they cracked their heads openning the cryptex the normal way?
Since they know there is vinegar inside, just freeze it then break it lah. Easy what. LoL…
Who cares if the code is APPLE or SOFIA? I say FREEZER ! Wuahahhaha….
16. Waifon | May 19th, 2006 at 7:28 pm
I am watching it tmrw and I have to skip so many para of this review that I don’t think I read anything at all in fear of spoliers :( I read this book yonks ago and I’m resisting the temptation to read the book before tmr’s show so that I won’t be so dissapointed if the movie really sucked monkey balls compared to the book. But then again, since I almost forgot how’s the plot like, I’m going TRY enjoying the show like a first- timer..hehe..must pujuk didri first.
I’ve learnt my lesson from the Memoirs of a Geisha. That was total disappointment [dot] com, it’s not even funny anymore.
And your review damn detailed okay. Were you concentrating on the show or keep doing mental notes on how to review it later on your blog? Haha..respek ar. I’m coming back to read it after the show. If it’s that bad, I’ll mourn with you. Already half mourning now, Elliot was sent away by Daniel Powter’s Bad Day. geez…Taylor grey hair is so not winning man. Ish~ Oh oh..when are you watching Grease? I heard it wasn’t that good but heck~ I’m so gonna lie and convince myself that is hell of a great production :D
17. Ginny | May 19th, 2006 at 9:23 pm
FINALLY!! SOME1 AGREES WITH ME!! THE MOVIE FRIGGIN SPOILED EVERYTHING!! when i came out i said.. fuck.. im so dissapointed.. it sucked.. everyone screamed at me.. saying NO LOR!! ITS NICE LOR.. den go school also.. i said that.. every1 was like.. WHY MuST U SpoIl IT WANNnnnNNN!! u too high la ure expectation..
*ish ish*
18. justakid | May 19th, 2006 at 10:44 pm
i. havent. seen. the. movie :’( :’(
exams goin on!!!!!!!!!!!! @!#$%^~&* so must continue readin my stupid sejarah book instead of going out to see the biggest most highly anticipated movie of the YEAR.
tink i’ll go see it anyway. :P
19. Waifon | May 19th, 2006 at 11:18 pm
Oui…damn close ar with Patrick Teoh and TV Smith..haha. How to get passes to watch that talk show ha? So fun…you can join their production. And your picture on Suanie’s page looks damn tired :( but u still look so adorable like a pauuuuuu :D
20. tze | May 19th, 2006 at 11:50 pm
hahaha i told eugin that i would need to watch the movie twice to understand it. then he rolled his eyes and called me a bimbo.
21. percy | May 19th, 2006 at 11:54 pm
ai yaya…i shouldnt log this website….anyway i should glad as i’m also didnt had time to go watch dvc….
22. foreverjas | May 20th, 2006 at 12:47 am
omg!!!! i’ve nth to say. good review!=)
23. entwined | May 20th, 2006 at 12:58 am
i really like to read you, that’s why it took a LOT of effort of my part to skip this (long) post, you know! :/
i wanna watch the movie with an open, but prepared-to-accept-that-it-will-suck, mind, although i don’t wanna know where/why/how/when it sucks before watching it. half the fun is spotting the suckiness factor!
24. pinkpau | May 20th, 2006 at 2:34 am
george : yeah i’m still wondering why the heck his eyes were BLUE! maybe he’s a special breed of albino .. or something..
jay : you’re welcome!
reallybites : haha dont remember if it was uni or work, but it was sure as hell NOT boarding school!
alvin : hehehe i watched it, i watched it!
ianfluenza : yeah i watched it at times square’s hugest cinema hall and it was FULL! times square’s halls are NEVER full !!
calypso : no no no you must watch it! it’s not good, but still a must watch :D
loud : OOH cant wait for that one either
KY : why!? watch it! :) it’s a must-watch, albeit not a good one.
mervkwok : yeah i tried to do the same :(
argee : entertaining?! i was clutching my head going oh nooooo almost every 3 seconds! and the argument made me go wtf out loud! eh the one you watched .. did it have english subtitles during the french dialogue?
chuang : i wouldnt use the word fan .. haha i’m barely a fan of anything nowadays. i just like his writing.
kimberlycun : ooh she is hot :) yes, twas nice meeting you rowdy bunch!
chapree : like lightning!
bryan : seriously, you could catch everything? nothing confused you?! haha wow you’re a prodigy. eh …… your freeze thingy makes sense … oh hey but maybe the papyrus is so brittle that it;ll break?
waifon : hehe yes come back and read this after you’ve watched, and let me know what u think. and of cos i was concentrating on the show 100%! i just happen to have a very good memory when it comes to complaining about things i dont like .. hahaha. and i’m going for Grease tomorrow, which is saturday
ginny : what, really?! then your friends are the ONLY people i know who liked the movie!
justakid : OF COURSE U MUST WATCH IT!
waifon : no la not close :) and their filming is over already. today last day.
tze : nvm nvm you were late ma!
percy : watch it anyway!
foreverjas : why nothing to say? @_@
entwined : all the best sitting through the suckiness :P it was torturous for me..
25. turquoise | May 20th, 2006 at 12:55 pm
I so wanted to see the movie. I was still unfazed when my friend told me the book was better. then i read your review. I think I’ll go and see another movie this weekend. they seemed to have squeezed out everything that people yearned for.
26. Bryan | May 20th, 2006 at 2:14 pm
I’ve not read the book but I watched the documentary of National Geographic about The DaVinci Code. They invited some experts and Dan Brown to explain some parts of the book, that’s why I can understand the movie. :p
27. argee | May 20th, 2006 at 8:11 pm
heh, no english subtitles during frenchy…grrrh…
oh well, it’s nice to listen to french anyway. *must learn* lol
28. foreverjas | May 20th, 2006 at 9:28 pm
so bad ark? i havent watch tht movie yet.hehe. izit above 18 ark?
29. Cheneille | May 20th, 2006 at 10:58 pm
hello pinkpau!
been reading your blog for some time heh. feel like weeping every time because you’re so eloquent, makes me wanna hide my face 6 ft under and never come up again :P
anyways, i watched Da Vinci Code too, and I guess the problem with us bookworms (or at least the ones I know so far) is that we can’t stand film reproductions of our beloved stories, especially if they don’t keep to the plot and replace important details with their own interpretation. Mine would be all 4 of the Harry Potter movies.
my main gripe with DVC would be Tom Hanks playing Langdon. WTF. I was expecting them to pick someone like Harrison Ford. oh well, at least the albino’s hot, even though he’s not supposed to be. :/
30. clem | May 21st, 2006 at 7:50 pm
My friends and I wanna watch it, but everytime we want to it’s bloody full for the next 6 hours. =__=
31. foreverjas | May 21st, 2006 at 10:55 pm
well..i think even if the movie is so so bad.. i think we should at least appreciate their effort in everything la.. thou the book raux.hehe.
32. hanna | May 23rd, 2006 at 2:22 am
i’d give it one and a half out of five, and that’s because of ian mckellen (who is awesome) and paul bettany (who is also awesome).
33. William | May 23rd, 2006 at 4:11 am
try creating a cryptex online
34. L.vo | May 24th, 2006 at 7:03 am
eh, i thought it was better than the book.
1. Sophie not being Sauniére’s granddaughter made perfect sense, and made it less unbelievable.
2. isn’t Audrey Tautou simply the cutest thing?
35. MengZ | May 25th, 2006 at 2:55 am
I watch the premium screening at sunway.
the only scenes i found that match the book is the opening when Sauniere was chased down and killed.
*i haven’t finish the book yet.
The book itself is full of bullcrap.
the movie is juz an act, an simplify version , this is not a documentary movie.
i wont blame the sriptwritter.
not many in this world read about Leonardo Da Vinci and undestand what he has done in his great life.*his artwork/code/technique/design
Not eveyone know story about jesus christ and chatolic church.
so the sriptwritter have to make it short and…some how will make mistake.
This book is misleading in some way. : p
hehe.
36. kat | May 28th, 2006 at 1:16 pm
hi pinkpau I don’t think you know me, I’ve come to know about your blog thru my friend, and that is quite a studied review on dvc.
i agree with the totally uncalled for ’sofia-cryptex-killing’. the atbash cipher was the best part of the book. and they just ran through the anagrams, urgh. i dont think anyone who hasnt read the book understood that.
but, really, people are comparing it too much to the book. of course the book is better. Since when has a movie been more successful than the book it was based on?
it is hard to convey the intensity and the impact of the book’s meaning onto the screen when so many parties are offended by its release. To me, as a movie, it was tame but maybe it was exactly the kind of boring and unprovocative movie the producers might have wanted it to be.
I’m not touching on any sensitive strings here, but imagine if you were a Christian or a Catholic watching the movie and the bare, almost crude contradiction of the Church’s stand about mary magdalene and Jesus was laid down full blast, how would you take it?
to viewers, just enjoy the movie and stop comparing it to the book, because the book has a more intellectual ground compared to the movie’s grandiose and drama.
37. Anonymous | June 18th, 2006 at 1:38 am
The movie was bad because the book is shite.
38. Anonymous Two | June 19th, 2006 at 1:40 pm
I agree. The book was a bad fairytale.
39. pinkpau | June 20th, 2006 at 12:02 am
wow you guys are replying really late in the game .. :)
but to kat, i agree that one should refrain from comparing the book to the movie when watching the latter based on the former. but you have to admit that the DVC Movie, on its own, as a MOVIE, was a horrible cinematic flop. i mean, the angles! the script! the cinematography! yuck.
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[...] was a bit worried that I would like the movie, coz Pink pau absolutely hated it. I think it was quite good if you: Never never compare it with the movie, since [...]
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