This World

“okay, it’s a 45 minute walk from here,” Tweed Jacket turned around to tell us cheerily.

“what, 45 minutes?!” i gaped. i swiveled left and right to find that the guys seemed to be taking it better than me.

“aiyo princess. walk a bit also cannot ah?” Adidasboy called out teasingly.

“YOU aren’t wearing heels!” i answered hotly. now i was really annoyed. i felt like turning back. why didnt anyone tell me there’d be walking? and 45 minutes of it too!!! we’d already been walking all day, with unfortunate me being the only one daft enough to be doing it in high heels. stupid, stupid, stupid, i cursed at myself. i contemplated telling the guys that i’ll just wait for them here, and they can come back and get me when they’re done with their little 45-minute meander, but then decided against it.

this will be worth it.

laughing and chatting, we plodded on as the evening sun sank dreamily over the horizon behind us. i was perhaps a little quieter than the rest, with an unmade decision still hovering in my mind, nagging me for an answer, detaching me from reality. mentally, i weighed the pros and cons, then laughed at myself. why was i making such a big deal out of such a simple dilemma? that is, if it could even be called a dilemma. but oh fine - here is the answer then. it is a no. there, naggy unmade decision, i have made you. now go away, go sleep till it is time for me to call on you once more, be it in grateful appreciation or in a rush of regret.

i had gotten so lost in my decison-making that i didn’t realize the sky had turned eerily dark. the sunset is not very impressive here, i thought to myself, as we continued walking on the cobblestone. our path was illuminated by cutesy old-fashioned black lamp posts, and occasionally a jogger would run past us. sometimes the same ones would run past us twice. shit. we’re definitely walking more than the promised 45 minutes! the pain in my feet forces me to question just how worth it this can be. but before i could answer that question -

“we’re here!” Tweed Jacket stops and beams at us like a proud father. “behold!”

and behold we did.

it was truly something else altogether, standing all the way up in the mountains and peering down on the familiar glittering city. seeing everything move in their own secret pattern. following with our eyes the dots of cars traversing the roads. watching as people lived their lives, unaware that they were being watched.

breathtaking. that’s the word for it. everything just looked so. exquisite.

it was an amazing feeling, to be standing there. so amazing that it’s quite difficult to articulate properly the whole experience. looking down at the city spread before us like a dense blanket of gems, we were just so much in awe. everything as far as our eyes could see seemed to be crafted so wonderfully, so perfectly, that it almost looked like it happened on accident. candidly. flawlessly.

for a moment, it felt as if nothing mattered, nothing was of any consequence, and if i wanted, i could stand right here and look into the eyes of this city forever. the sheer beauty of the city was like a siren’s song. i wanted to jump right into it, and form a bubble within all that beauty, and stay there forever, eternally a part of this extraordinary marvelment.

and as i stood there in the cold night air, i found myself wishing that i had come here with him instead.

if he was here with me, just the two of us alone, right now. i’d turn around and face him, slip my hands in his jacket pockets, and then i’d kiss him. very softly.

and then i’d tell him what i’ve been wanting to say.

——

as for the decision i made? i called back on it in grateful appreciation. i made the right choice.

May 24th, 2006