… you must do stupid things that make supermarket security follow you around the place like a hawk, wondering if you are going to steal something or plant a bomb. or if they should call the psychiatric ward. dont forget to document this, as i have so done.
supermarket security guard man thing, you dont scare me!!!
38 comments May 25th, 2006
“okay, it’s a 45 minute walk from here,” Tweed Jacket turned around to tell us cheerily.
“what, 45 minutes?!” i gaped. i swiveled left and right to find that the guys seemed to be taking it better than me.
“aiyo princess. walk a bit also cannot ah?” Adidasboy called out teasingly.
“YOU aren’t wearing heels!” i answered hotly. now i was really annoyed. i felt like turning back. why didnt anyone tell me there’d be walking? and 45 minutes of it too!!! we’d already been walking all day, with unfortunate me being the only one daft enough to be doing it in high heels. stupid, stupid, stupid, i cursed at myself. i contemplated telling the guys that i’ll just wait for them here, and they can come back and get me when they’re done with their little 45-minute meander, but then decided against it.
this will be worth it.
laughing and chatting, we plodded on as the evening sun sank dreamily over the horizon behind us. i was perhaps a little quieter than the rest, with an unmade decision still hovering in my mind, nagging me for an answer, detaching me from reality. mentally, i weighed the pros and cons, then laughed at myself. why was i making such a big deal out of such a simple dilemma? that is, if it could even be called a dilemma. but oh fine - here is the answer then. it is a no. there, naggy unmade decision, i have made you. now go away, go sleep till it is time for me to call on you once more, be it in grateful appreciation or in a rush of regret.
i had gotten so lost in my decison-making that i didn’t realize the sky had turned eerily dark. the sunset is not very impressive here, i thought to myself, as we continued walking on the cobblestone. our path was illuminated by cutesy old-fashioned black lamp posts, and occasionally a jogger would run past us. sometimes the same ones would run past us twice. shit. we’re definitely walking more than the promised 45 minutes! the pain in my feet forces me to question just how worth it this can be. but before i could answer that question -
“we’re here!” Tweed Jacket stops and beams at us like a proud father. “behold!”
and behold we did.
it was truly something else altogether, standing all the way up in the mountains and peering down on the familiar glittering city. seeing everything move in their own secret pattern. following with our eyes the dots of cars traversing the roads. watching as people lived their lives, unaware that they were being watched.
breathtaking. that’s the word for it. everything just looked so. exquisite.
it was an amazing feeling, to be standing there. so amazing that it’s quite difficult to articulate properly the whole experience. looking down at the city spread before us like a dense blanket of gems, we were just so much in awe. everything as far as our eyes could see seemed to be crafted so wonderfully, so perfectly, that it almost looked like it happened on accident. candidly. flawlessly.
for a moment, it felt as if nothing mattered, nothing was of any consequence, and if i wanted, i could stand right here and look into the eyes of this city forever. the sheer beauty of the city was like a siren’s song. i wanted to jump right into it, and form a bubble within all that beauty, and stay there forever, eternally a part of this extraordinary marvelment.
and as i stood there in the cold night air, i found myself wishing that i had come here with him instead.
if he was here with me, just the two of us alone, right now. i’d turn around and face him, slip my hands in his jacket pockets, and then i’d kiss him. very softly.
and then i’d tell him what i’ve been wanting to say.
——
as for the decision i made? i called back on it in grateful appreciation. i made the right choice.
May 24th, 2006
i’ve been happy lately. donno why, but i have been. i dont have any particular or definite reason to be - actually things kinda suck right now - but just, y’know, being, has put a secret little smile on my lips.
i think i’ve found some kind of inner peace for myself. it’s a kind of small-scale tranquility, and when i close my eyes i see lavender fields and loose white dresses. this is how i want to feel right before i die - in good terms with everything in the world, and that all debts have been settled - regardless of whether i am debtor or creditor. it is like standing on a planar height that is suspended above all tribulation, knowing that there will be no more stairs, no more steepness and no more demands. it is such a good feeling.
i’ve gone through another one of my infamous metamorphoses. if you see me today, i am not the person i was yesterday. i am now the person i was in the year 2002. you remember that year? yeah, i remember that year. my fingerprints have twisted and turned and reshaped themselves to take the form of the fingerprints of Lim Su Ann, age 14.
despite having said that i’ve been happy lately, there’s a strange and anonymous sadness on the edges of my eyes. i cant put a name to this blight, but i can put a memory to it. it’s that moment - when you are feeling sad and heartbroken, alienated and alone, and then someone grabs your hand, looks you in the eye, and asks ‘what’s wrong?’, and then before you can stop yourself, your face crumples up and you have started to cry. that moment in between the soft inflection of the question and the biting of your lip as you instinctively let go - that is the hazy lazy cobwebby sensation that seems to have taken up residence in the corners of my eyes. it’s not so much an itch, but more of a blunt pull. i dont know why it’s there. it’s like a weird, warped sadness that is borne from the knowledge of my happiness.
you know what. i suddenly feel like jumping on the couch!
and eating peanuts.
yeah!
May 23rd, 2006
nothing to do with Grease, but i just have to vent
i went to catch Grease earlier tonight - thought it was good, loved it, but kinda expected just a little bit more than what we got. big chunks of the story was left out, and the dialogue moved a bit too fast at times, but the SINGING more than made up for all that. worth a watch, definitely, but not super uber impressive like Stomp was.
and was so upset cos they ran out of programme books :( what lah!
OOH and i’ve just discovered, like, the best cookies in the whole wide world. ever since Mrs Fields outlets closed down in KL i’ve been crawling the walls trying to suppress my soft-cookie cravings. sometimes Famous Amos just doesnt cut it, you know?
the first cookie is their Praline cookie - yummy and buttery with a slight hint of coffee, and a pecan in the middle for some crunch. veddy good, i am likin’. but i like the second cookie more, the dark chocolate cookie! soft and moist with ooey gooey dark chocolate chunks. soooo goooood. their milk chocolate cookie is super yummy as well.
Bakin Boys (pardon the weird name, their cookies are really very nice) is a concession stand outside Madam Kwan’s and Little Penang at the top floor of Suria KLCC. go try!!! they apparently have these ’special-er’ cookies but were sold out. it’s about RM3.50 per cookie. reasonable laaaah for a soft cookie.
i have the Grease song ‘Summer Nights’ stuck in my head. when i got home, i downloaded the song and started dancing to it in the middle of my living room. in my underwear. hahaha.
Summer lovin had me a blast! Summer lovin happened so fast!
25 comments May 21st, 2006
those who saw the list of shortlisted finalists for the IMPAC Dublin Literary Award in the newspapers a couple of weeks back would know that my essay (undeservingly) managed to get into the Top 20 :) so tonight was the dinner at the Parkroyal - where they announced the Grand Prize winner, who gets to go to Ireland for the Dublin Literary Award Ceremony and get high on Guinness for a week and play with little green leprechauns!
and of course, like predicted, Kiasu Andrew won :D
(hehe, time for me to collect my wins from all the bets i placed! andrew, i will start with that dinner you promised me..)
t’was fun, though i didnt get to meet about 10 of the finalists since we were all put at different tables. got to meet Suet for the first time though, and Clement as well! also saw a couple of acquaintances from the public speaking competition where Andrew and I met. bumped into Glenny as well, who was covering the event. heehee managed to cajole him into taking some nice pics of us - will put them up when he sends them over. but for the meantime, here are the sucky pics from my sucky camera!
the finalists
amanda so hot!
me and the overexcited manic champion who is trying to look unexcited and unmanic
my hot date and i
pinkpau is sad cos she didnt win the grand prize :(
hehe actually no la, i kid, i’m not sad at all. i went there already not expecting to win, because my essay was utter crap compared to the likes of the other finalists. *malu* i am already DAMN HAPPY that i am in the Top 20 out of 1100 participants. not too shabby for my first ever essay competition, eh?! :D congratulate me la, i’m so excited you know.
and no, you cannot read my essay. cos it’s crappy. so stop asking!!!
and even though i have said it like 50000 times tonight, CONGRATS again to Andrew Loh the Kiasu for bagging grand prize .. :D bring me back a leprechaun!!
(i wish Damansara Jaya kids would stop winning all the competitions!!!)
here is a nice pic of the manic grinning Andrew who couldnt stop bopping up and down in his seat after the results were announced -
26 comments May 20th, 2006
