Close To You
June 15th, 2006
so there i was, sitting there, steeping myself in other people’s cigarette smoke, passively leeching on their carefree happiness. today is a bad day, i had exclaimed loudly when i got in the car. why, he asked. because i woke up today and the day just sucked, i said. now, here, in this dim and laidbackedly bubbly (oxymoron, yes? not really) pub, my thoughts are a million miles away. the day is starting to get a little bit better because chocolate cake said so.
suddenly, the very well-known opening of an old song floats into the air, set into motion by the karaoke machine, finding its way into my ears. i almost roll my eyes. i dont really like this song. cos it’s weird. and i never really FELT it. i sing it, but i dont feel it. for a fleeting moment i wonder if i am the only person who cant feel the song, or if the rest of the world dont feel it either, but only pretend to. what makes a person feel a song anyway?
why do birds suddenly appear
aiyo damn corny lah. couldnt the songwriter have come up with a better subject than birds? i mean, it’s the bloody opening line of the song!
everytime you’re near?
but automatically and unwittingly, visions of you start to form in my mind. this time, you are walking down the path of a park alone. it is autumn, and red leaves are falling all around, to the ground, content with being just beautiful. you’re oblivious to all that is around you, but your surroundings are so aware.
of you.
they know you are here - the trees bend towards you, and the wind rushes into your hair in a hurried attempt to be a part of you. babies in their mother’s arms turn to stare at you curiously as you walk past, girls giggle and blush. the sun hides coyly behind the clouds, who are more than willing to cloak you from the heat. and of course, flocks of birds fly overhead as if in a unified search for something.
i dont know where you are headed to. you’re just walking. but the world seems to recognise you and almost exalt you, in a familiar and warm and tight way. the world seems to love you.
just like me, they long to be
close to you.
it’s so easy to kid around with you and say stupid stuff. but it’s really strange how sometimes it feels like i’m aching just to touch you. a dull blunt pain in my heart that says - reach out and brush the tips of your fingers against his, it’s not that hard. but i just cant. i think i’ll wait for you to do it first. if you don’t, then i will just have to content myself with arbitrary thoughts of you, wistful daydreams, until the day you fade clear away from my mind.
Entry Filed under: Musings, Unsent Letters
20 Comments Add your own
1. TheRealAnonymous | June 15th, 2006 at 6:30 am
So… does this mean you’re feeling the song? or still not? hehe…
Personally… i think this song is easy to ‘feel’… possibly because of its tone. Kinda makes u wanna close ur eyes.
2. foreverjas | June 15th, 2006 at 12:26 pm
hmm.i really love ya blog.really… i guess idreamt of ya in canada:P hahax. aiya. actually its not a bad song. hehe. close to you… listen with ya heart… u’ll get it :D
3. Ian | June 15th, 2006 at 2:16 pm
I seemed to me that you actually subconciously kinda liked the song! It’s okay to like corny things, sometimes. :0)
4. vvens | June 15th, 2006 at 3:33 pm
i actaully like this song. hahaha
why birds? maybe there’s no other suitable words the writer can find you substitute the place..
it just dont sound nice like, “why do cows suddenly appear?” hahahaha..
5. jlwk | June 15th, 2006 at 3:47 pm
kinna agree wif wens,maybe u can change it to like”why su ann suddenly appear”
6. fieguratively | June 15th, 2006 at 4:40 pm
cheers from Down Under! i have no idea how i stumbled upon your blog, but i’ve been skimming your posts for a good twenty minutes now, and i gotta say girl, you are extremely witty and have such honest writing. it’s a breath of fresh air from some of the (how should i put this delicately?), CRAP that i’ve read from girls your age. good on ya :)
7. tze | June 15th, 2006 at 5:42 pm
you’re talking about me aren’t you?
8. entwined | June 15th, 2006 at 6:34 pm
wow. is there really such a wonderful guy? :P
9. reallybites | June 15th, 2006 at 9:19 pm
what song is that? i wanttttttttt. :D
10. MichelleShinyi | June 15th, 2006 at 10:08 pm
if equal affection cannot be
let the more loving one be me
prose sucks.
songs suck.
the sentiment above sucks.
oh cynicism, thou hast seeped into my soul and made me whole.
inure me.
sigh.
i’m having an off day, or should we make that, year, too.
11. nick au | June 15th, 2006 at 11:00 pm
man… you’re not the first one that cant feel this song… and in malaysia,… birds are bad news… they aren’t white doves or nice eagles… but rather crows…
imagine that you associate someone you treasure with ..black , sitting on the electric wire , shitting crows… yarkks,,,
songs that moves the heart can only be from your own…
12. pinkpau | June 16th, 2006 at 12:31 am
therealanonymous : only after yesterday night could i feel the song .. :) or should i say, only after i met this guy could i feel the song.
foreverjas : yup, got it already :)
lan : this song to me was just like any other.. but now it holds special meaning! i can finally relate to it.
vvens : good point :P
jlwk : ahahhaa that owuld be even worse!
fieguratively : thank you :) that’s high praise.
tze : why you want birds to follow you?
entwined : hahaha yes .. :D i just found him
reallybites : close to you by the carpenters
michelleshinyi : you sound like a protege of shakespeare!
nick au : haha i pictured cutesy little brown sparrows actually!
13. TheRealAnonymous | June 16th, 2006 at 1:26 am
Birs aren’t a bad thing to associate with whut… every fairy tale ‘picture illustrated’ story book or cartoon or movie… will always show 2 sparrows chirping on a tree before they zoom in to the enchanted castle where the beautiful princess stays awaiting her prince charming to come and sweet her off her feet. =Þ
Its nice to know u’ve found someone. =Þ There’s no better feeling than to love, and to be love. But for your case, i guess, chocolate cake might influence u to think otherwise. Hahaha… =)
Oh… and ‘OUCH!’ on your next posting… i hope it isn’t the same guy who made u ‘feel’ this song.
14. pinkpau | June 16th, 2006 at 2:33 am
different guys, thank goodness.. :) the guy in the above post is a calculative, cunning bastard.
15. eric | June 16th, 2006 at 5:37 am
hmmm… don’t worry about that guy.. he’s not even worth your anger.. =P
cheer ups k? ^_^
16. foreverjas | June 16th, 2006 at 11:43 pm
shame shame to tht guy. pink pau rox!
17. pinkpau | June 17th, 2006 at 2:33 am
eric : am feeling much better today .. hahha. talking about the problem really helps.
foreverjas : foreverjas rocks! :D
18. ria | June 17th, 2006 at 9:43 am
hey you. :) i’m glad it isnt the same guy.. sorry i know you hate it when people comment on stuff that have its comments turned off.. but i just hate seeing you sad and hurt. *huggles* been kinda absent with the commenting, but im always reading. :) cant miss a post from dear pinkpau. mwah!
19. foreverjas | June 17th, 2006 at 11:11 pm
umm.i’m kinda into some oldies. i found out this song. DYING INSIDE TO HOLD YOU by TIMMY THOMAS. u can try to listen to it. :D
20. chase jp morgan&hellip | June 18th, 2007 at 7:31 pm
chase jp morgan…
shit-happens 2315164 This page contains some info about chase jp morgan…
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