Close To You

so there i was, sitting there, steeping myself in other people’s cigarette smoke, passively leeching on their carefree happiness. today is a bad day, i had exclaimed loudly when i got in the car. why, he asked. because i woke up today and the day just sucked, i said. now, here, in this dim and laidbackedly bubbly (oxymoron, yes? not really) pub, my thoughts are a million miles away. the day is starting to get a little bit better because chocolate cake said so.

suddenly, the very well-known opening of an old song floats into the air, set into motion by the karaoke machine, finding its way into my ears. i almost roll my eyes. i dont really like this song. cos it’s weird. and i never really FELT it. i sing it, but i dont feel it. for a fleeting moment i wonder if i am the only person who cant feel the song, or if the rest of the world dont feel it either, but only pretend to. what makes a person feel a song anyway?

why do birds suddenly appear

aiyo damn corny lah. couldnt the songwriter have come up with a better subject than birds? i mean, it’s the bloody opening line of the song!

everytime you’re near?

but automatically and unwittingly, visions of you start to form in my mind. this time, you are walking down the path of a park alone. it is autumn, and red leaves are falling all around, to the ground, content with being just beautiful. you’re oblivious to all that is around you, but your surroundings are so aware.

of you.

they know you are here - the trees bend towards you, and the wind rushes into your hair in a hurried attempt to be a part of you. babies in their mother’s arms turn to stare at you curiously as you walk past, girls giggle and blush. the sun hides coyly behind the clouds, who are more than willing to cloak you from the heat. and of course, flocks of birds fly overhead as if in a unified search for something.

i dont know where you are headed to. you’re just walking. but the world seems to recognise you and almost exalt you, in a familiar and warm and tight way. the world seems to love you.

just like me, they long to be

close to you.

it’s so easy to kid around with you and say stupid stuff. but it’s really strange how sometimes it feels like i’m aching just to touch you. a dull blunt pain in my heart that says - reach out and brush the tips of your fingers against his, it’s not that hard. but i just cant. i think i’ll wait for you to do it first. if you don’t, then i will just have to content myself with arbitrary thoughts of you, wistful daydreams, until the day you fade clear away from my mind.

20 comments June 15th, 2006

8 People You Meet In Gym

1. Muscle Men

these are the very big, beefy and hulking men who stalk around the gym in an imposing manner like they own the place. most of them wear little football shorts that provide the opportunity to show off their thick and muscular thighs, but The White Singlet is a compulsory must. on the days that they dont feel like wearing a white singlet, a grey singlet is then the option.

you can recognise these (pre-politician) Schwarzenegger types not only by sight, but also via auditory perception. you dont even have to strain hard to hear the urrrrrnnnnghhhssss and aaaaaaaaRRRghhhHHsss that come from the weightlifting section of gym, courtesy of the Muscle Men demographic. while to some of us, these sounds are a bit disconcerting and sound like they’re better off in the bedroom, it is NOT our place to go over and tap them on the shoulder and say “hey can you please shut up”, because - one, you dont want to be their next protein shake, and two, i once had a trainer who would anticipate those sounds with great relish. he would lean on my treadmill and say excitedly, ‘OOH OOH HERE IT COMES!’. so dont take away his fun, as well as the fun of others who share his sentiment!

sometimes, though not everytime, but almost always - you can distinguish the Muscle Men from other counterparts by their smell as well. it is more than sufficient to say that when you walk past them and exercise your God-given right to inhale, you’d wish you DIDN’T have that God-given right.

2. Models Who Dont Work Out For More Than 2 Minutes

ooh I SO LOVE to see models come to the gym! it’s just so fun :D see this is what they’ll do - they come to gym in their long, sleek, black tights and small navel-baring halter top (usually pink and from Nike), get on the treadmill, frown at it for a bit, poke at the buttons, walk for 2 minutes, run for 1 minute, get off the treadmill, collect their stuff from the locker room, and then leave.

huh?

after so many years of gymming observation at Menara Maxis, i’ve come to realize that yes, this is indeed the routine of the majority of our model-esque gymmers. donno why but Menara Maxis is where they all go to. maybe cos KLCC is next door, so they can go shopping after that. hey actually come to think of it, why DO all models hang out at KLCC?

oh wait did i also mention that they come to gym wearing makeup? but WHY?! it’s so bad for the skin!! clogged pores!!! the horror.

3. Super Skinny Girls Who Look Like They Dont Need To Work Out Anyway

oh, all you women know the type! they prance around the gym in their hot little workout clothes without wobbling one bit, looking very sexy and completely out of place amongst the sweaty and heavier general populace. you look at them through slitted eyes, glare at them and think to yourself “what the hell does she need to come to gym for?!” and then you immediately feel self-conscious. and then you suddenly feel like jogging another 2km. or doing another 3 sets of leg presses.

they are also the girls who walk around stark naked in the locker room without a care in the world, leaving in their wake all the other women trying to look like they’re not looking, but of course they are all looking. it’s like being a witness to PDA. you kinda wanna look, but it would be rude to, and will make you seem like you dont see it everyday. which you dont. but who wants to let the rest of the world know that?

4. The Sullen Ones With A Purpose

these are the people who go to gym, work out, shower and leave. no socialising, no locker room discourse, no flirting with the pretty receptionists, no sitting around pretending to read newspapers while checking out bums of Models Who Dont Work Out For More Than 3 Minutes. they usually look really constipated while working out. and damn fierce also. dresscode : the most inconspicuous loose tshirts and shorts.

5. Super Hot Yuppies

the first time i went to the Menara Axis branch, i thought i’d died and went to Hot Yuppie Haven. i love hot yuppies. that is all.

6. Personal Trainers Who Accost You Into Hiring Them

they call you to check on your progress all the time, work out a nice programme for you, greet you warmly everytime they see you. amd so you think wow, they are REALLY friendly, and that they just really want to help you reach your ultimate goals of fitness … but thou art wrong! they just want your RM 1,050 for 10 Personal Training sessions!! okay lah they’re not all that bad. but most of them are.

7. The Joy Luck Club

heeheehee. the Joy Luck Club consists of these rather loud and very excited Chinese ladies who go to the gym everyday to catch up with their friends. this club doesnt exist outside of the Leisure Mall branch of my gym, so if you wanna see them, you will just have to go there. you dont have to look at the machines, or at the weights section - the only place they hang out is the Group Exercise Room and the Juice Bar.

this bunch ah, they very funny wan. during G-Ex, they only go for the happy-clappy sorta classes, namely Body Jam and Body Attack, and occasionally Body Combat. and naturally they will all flock to the front of the room, occasionally holding hands in one long line.

but that’s not the best part.

the best part is that on certain days of certain weeks, they actually colour-coordinate their outfits!!!!! damn shocking okay, one day i went for Body Jam and saw like 10 women - and 1 man, they always have this guy with them - at the front wearing yellow tops and black slacks. i was like shit, got dress code ah today?? everybody else (meaning, us poor folk who werent exclusively invited into the Joy Luck Club) were clearly confused as well. the Joy Luck Club later haughtily told us it was a ‘friend-friend’ thing. oh. right. okay.

8. Girl Who Brings McDonalds Into Locker Room, Allowing Delicious Smell To Waft In The Air, Thus Pissing Off All Other Gymmers (read, Dieters or Keep-Fitters) And Earning Many Death Glares, But Does Not Care Because She Has McDonalds And They Don’t!!!

that would be me :D

48 comments June 11th, 2006

Help Me

Dilemmas I Am Currently Facing

1. am not sure who i should hate for having to miss the Mogwai concert in Singapore on the 1st of August - Julian for not being able to take leave, or myself for having exams, or the college for giving exams that day, or Mogwai for choosing to perform on that day.

2. we are completely out of toilet paper. it is 6 in the morning. the only place i can get toilet paper at this time is 7-11. which is too far to walk to right now. so means what, i cant poop until 11am when the shops open?

3. i dont know how to tell this certain guy thanks but no thanks. this wouldnt be a problem if he wasnt so goddam NICE!!! too nice actually. how?! damn you, nice guys who come on too strong but are so nice that i cant bring myself to say anything less than super-nice to you. damn you.

4. i have a crazy, crazy need for icecream, that has to be satiated pronto, because i’m starting to get really cranky. but i’m having my period. my granny says cannot consume cold things while the red tide is here. is this just an old wives tale or will my ovaries really shrivel up and die?

5. it’s my brother’s birthday today. i’m going to ditch him for football. does this make me a very very very very bad sister? yes it does, right. oh gawd, it’s true. i am a bad sister.

6. what to have for lunch?

NEW! 7. how can i contain my tulan-ness and not KILL this specific person???

25 comments June 10th, 2006

The Happy Pill

so what ivan and i did the other day was ..

go household-item shopping!!!

(or whatever the term for it is!)

we hit Metrojaya in Mid Valley, because the things there are so pretty! not to mention cos there was a huge SALEEEE. heeheehee.

as weird as it sounds, i actually like shopping for household items more than i do for clothes. (shoe shopping, however, is another arena altogether!) it is so much fun that i used to always beg the boyfriends to take me to Ikea, just so i can run around the model kitchen displays screeching “I WANT THIS KITCHEN I WANT THIS KITCHEN I WANT I WANT I WANT!!!”

or bounce on the beds

or hide in the wardrobes yelling BOO to unsuspecting middle-aged couples from PJ who opened the doors (and then saying sorry like crazy after that)

or spin around the floors in the office chairs with wheels until i feel like puking

and then finish it all off with the super yummy Ikea meatballs and softserve ice cream!!!

sadly, Metrojaya is not Ikea, but nevermind, can have fun also. we didnt camwhore or anything, cos there were security guards patrolling around looking at us warily .. and these ones actually looked kinda fierce =( so intimidating lah, not cutesy and roly-poly like the ones at Bangsar Village. i felt weird even though i was just taking pics of stuff like plates and pots.

so we went around oohing and aahing at all the pretty plates and cups and saucers. i kept telling myself i shouldnt buy any plates, cos the last time i did (a white one with pink daisies on it), my mom kinda yelled at me, saying that i ruin the plate-sets at home.

huh?

i mean, i know what she means la, that we shouldnt buy single pieces of dinnerware and stuff cos it looks alien amongst all the other sets .. but then it’s not like we eat dinner at home?! or have guests over! correct or not?! the only person who has guests over is .. me!!! and my friends dont give a shit if i serve them pasta with a pink daisy plate …

sooooo i went and bought plates. hahaha. very nice lah my plates. they’re like just plain white plates, one is very funky - it’s actually an assymetrical plate, and another one is like a soup dish, and another one is a big white dinner plate. and then i bought this black bowl. i mean it was like BLACK! have you ever seen a black bowl outside of japanese restaurants?! no, right? so now you can come and see it in my house. below is the display -

and i got the big black dish too! it’s now on my dining table (that is not used for dining btw, more like a storage surface for old school books and letters and shopping bags), filled with little white stones, and used for placing housekeys. *beams* see Ma, i contribute to the household too.

oooh and i got these two little earthenware sugarbowl thingies, that i actually don’t need, but they were EIGHTY PERCENT OFF.

HELLO.

EIGHTY PERCENT.

WHICH MAKES THEM LIKE 2 BUCKS EACH.

who cares whether i need them or not?!?! buy only!!!

i have no use for them so far, cos this isnt the first time i’ve bought sugar bowls on a whim, and here in my house sugar is kept in jars, but i can see how totally perfect they would be to store coins. right? i know.

actually, household-item shopping is really damn fun. how many of you people can look at a wooden spoon and not go “ooooh so cute”? i guess that kinda explains why i have 3 wooden spoons of different sizes, but anyway. towels are something else, too. when i was 16 i went on a towel phase, i’d buy towels for like EVERYBODY on their birthdays - nice, plush, terry cloth towels in their favourite colour, tied up with ribbon. and that was the year i became a bit of a towel elitist. i still am, actually. the only towels i ever use now are white terry towels. you should, too!

Aussino has super lovely towels. that’s where i get all my towels!

(and i just wrote the word ‘towels’ 10 times. towels towels towels. looking at the word towels now, it makes no sense. towels. huh?)

oh hey check out the pink wicker hampers up there. see the one on the left? lovely isn’t it? i totally wanted to buy it but it costs like 50 bucks. and Ivan was standing there by my side, being my voice of reason, cooing - “It’s 50 bucks, you have no use for it, dont waste money, blablabla”. and so i didnt get it. but should i have? should i???? tell me!!! tell me and i’ll go buy it rightaway. hey actually, my brother’s birthday is this Saturday. i’m thinking maybe i should buy him the hamper, then borrow it to use. like i did with his 2004 birthday present, which were 3 Topman tshirts that i really liked. hahaha.

my final buy was this big sand-coloured milk jug which was 70% off. GORGEOUS PURCHASE. i so love it. i dont know why it’s so appealing, but it just is. when i closed my fingers around the handle, i simply knew i had to get it. it was a serendipitious experience. 70% discount some more.

all in all i think i spent about rm50. that’s 5 plates, 1 bowl, 2 sugarbowls and 1 milkjug, and a lot of happiness.

29 comments June 8th, 2006

We Need A Happy Pill

there’s been something off with me for the past couple of days. i cant quite place my finger on what it is. i dont know what’s wrong, i dont know how things are different, and i dont know why it’s like that. i just feel weird. sorta like, like a snake shedding skin. an excited snake, cos i get to break out of something stifling, and leave it behind, but then at the same time, a sad snake, cos i sorta miss the old skin. and i feel like i havent done enough with it. but it’s too late for thoughts like that now, cos what’s done is done. what’s gone is gone. with my new skin, i cant possibly crawl back into the old. it wouldnt take me.

anyway, it’s of the utmost importance that i’m happy this month. just because. so i’ve been trying desperately to shake off this weird mood. i tried baking (finally got new measuring cups!!!) but i only got more annoyed because i’ve now reached my tolerance limit of the smell of chocolate or butter or vanilla essence. you bakers know what i’m talking about. yeah. that sickly cloying cloudy feeling that you get in your head when you finish baking. argh. anyway. did brownies and peanut butter muffins.

the brownies turned out as they usually do (meaning, very damn good, heehee!), only i served them with peanuts this time. i think everyone who knows me is tired of my brownies by now. but i dont care. if i bake means you eat it!!! >:O meanwhile, the peanut butter muffins were okay only la. i wouldnt use the recipe again.

but, no, good mood still not in sight. not even after i camwhored with Superman.

but then i went out with Ivan and we did something fun :D *wiggles eyebrows* that made me smile and skip around like a loony bunny for a bit. betcha cant guess what it is!! will update post when i get the pictures back. meanwhile, i’ll give you a brownie if you can guess what we did. ivan, you shaddup ah. you are disqualified from playing.

26 comments June 5th, 2006