This Post Is About You
July 18th, 2006
the earliest unfuzzy memory i have of you is when i texted you in Bali. you were still that light blue colour then - so detached, so far away, not really a part of my world. but Coffee Bean brought us together .. healthy fruit tea and decadent ice blended belgian chocolate and little plastic cups of water. you and your iPod, me in my denim skirt.
i cant remember anything that we talked about that day. how the hell we arrived at the topic of horror movies, i dont really know either. “have you watched The Eye? it’s pretty good,” you say, and i say “no i havent but i really gotta one day, one of my best friends loves that show” .. and before i know it we are at your place with the dvd of The Eye, but not before i giggle at your leopard-print mask. it’s cute, but serves no ultimate purpose. i mean, you smoke anyway.
watching The Eye was very awkward, did i ever tell you that? i think part of the fun of watching horror movies is having someone to grab, whose shoulder you can hide your face in. but i didnt want to invade your space.. or give you the wrong idea for that matter, especially since we barely knew each other. but i wanted to, though. sorta. it’s strange how far we’ve come from that. i know the smell of your bed now, i know the grooves of your shoulders and this time around i wouldnt be hesistant about pressing my face into them during horror movies.
there was this one afternoon, you were sitting on the bed and i was lying under the covers, and you were feeding me ice cream from the pint with a metal spoon. i looked up at you as the icecream touched my tongue, and i couldnt help but think how the simplicity of the whole situation was beautiful. it was like a scene out of a movie. and i wanted so badly to tell you how perfect it all was, but of course restraint was necessary at that point in time. i guess it’s still quite hard to break out of that self-imposed mindset.
icecream on metal spoons is a very common combination, but the context is important. i think that was the turning point - it was the day i liked ice cream more than chocolate. from then on, i always wanted someone to feed me ice cream the way you did, but everyone keeps fucking it up. they dont do it right. they dont do it the way you do.
i look forward to our conversations, in a wistful and sometimes sadistic way. there’s a lot i want to say to you, and a lot i want to hear from you. i dont know if i’ll ever get to say what i want to say .. but perhaps i’ll keep my promise about that time capsule thing 20 years from now :) i’ll trap 2006 in an envelope and i’ll mail it to you. maybe even DHL it, if i’ve gotten the hang of it by then, hehe.
i dont really know where we’re headed. but that’s fine. where we are right now is fine - for the moment, this is where we belong. this place in between two lines and two boxes.
If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?
Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
Entry Filed under: Unsent Letters
18 Comments Add your own
1. Kyels | July 18th, 2006 at 5:20 pm
Sometimes we try searching for answers so that we would know where are we headed in the first place. I guess it’s not easy not knowing where you guys are headed. But then again time will tell. And this post of yours echoes my sentiments … A lot … :)
2. entwined | July 18th, 2006 at 7:22 pm
you deleted “anything I don’t know”? why :( ? just wanna say i agree with you wholeheartedly on the best moments of a relationship. it’s so much more meaningful and concrete than the first flush of infatuation.
3. tze | July 18th, 2006 at 7:33 pm
Your sad/melancholic/nostalgic/lovedove entries always make my heart wrap its blood vessels around it and then constrict it ever so gently. repeatedly.
and i love that song too. DAMN NICE RIGHTTTT?? grey’s anatomy rocks!
4. justakid | July 18th, 2006 at 8:16 pm
haih :) i tink u’ve been bloggin abt this certain sumone for quite some time adi.. whatever happens, gud luck!
5. Sv | July 18th, 2006 at 8:50 pm
EMOTIONAL! HOOOO!!!!!
real nice post….
6. Porcupine | July 18th, 2006 at 9:17 pm
Nice one…
Sorry for not visiting after such a long time…
Been busy with my Uni stuffs…
Finally got to go online using my roommate’a comp!
Yeah!
Anyway, am looking forward to reading more of your works…
Chiao!!!
7. Adrian C | July 18th, 2006 at 10:50 pm
he’s a lucky guy
8. meanoldman | July 18th, 2006 at 10:57 pm
in order for this post to remain unadulterated, i shdn’t really put a comment here. i don’t think i can find the right words. except…this guy’s a fuckin lucky basterd.
9. nick au | July 18th, 2006 at 11:18 pm
wow… you finally found love… whee..
i love “love” . makes the world I live in more colorful.. although i’m not the one in love.
but still whee.
10. pinkpau | July 18th, 2006 at 11:53 pm
kyels : time will tell, yes .. :)
entwined : this post is more important, i felt.. haha
tze : haha too much bio for u dear, oh its from grey’s anatomy?? i have no idea, someone sent it to me :P i love grey’s. only watched season 1 tho. missed the finale some more
justakid : hehe not true babe .. well or maybe true .. :D
sv : emo is good.. hehe
porcupine : uni is important! but so is the internet! why dont you have the internet?
adrian c : really?
meanoldman : you think so?
nick au : haha what makes you think i finalyl found love? i’ve always had posts like these..
11. Kyels | July 19th, 2006 at 2:49 pm
Yep, time will tell. Just hang in there all right?
(:
12. ront | July 19th, 2006 at 2:57 pm
sounds like you’re growing up wayyyy too fast.
13. pinkpau | July 20th, 2006 at 3:02 am
kyels : i will :)
ront : why do you say that?
14. ront | July 20th, 2006 at 2:04 pm
you sound like you’re facing dilemmas most ppl face when they’re in the 20s and some even way into their 30s….
apart from all this, dont forget to live your life lah.
15. pinkpau | July 20th, 2006 at 5:52 pm
ront : hehe i blame the guys i date. they make me age.
16. nick au | July 20th, 2006 at 7:18 pm
my goodness.. you’re not… man.. you’re one confused little girl… hrms… now it’s time to study you psychologically… gonna start micro-analysing your post from before and find the story to you.. ..mwahaha.. creepy isn’t it..
17. haziq | July 21st, 2006 at 9:45 am
if only all our lives were as dreamy as urs. filled with pink coloured marsh-mallows and hot coco on cold nights. keep in touch su ann. ur blogs awesome. (^^)
18. quaintly.net » Ice &hellip | June 5th, 2008 at 3:43 am
[...] while trying to make our lime and vanilla popsicles from the ice cream man last longer. remember this post long ago about a person who fed me ice cream so perfectly? did you know that it was about Martian? [...]
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