Somewhere A Clock Is Ticking
July 24th, 2006
i’ve just come back from a little weekend getaway. it was nice, lovely. very pigeonhole-like. would love to say it was one of those escapist getaways but it wasnt. i wish there was some way i could rid myself of my mind, or like, sort of just switch it off whenever situations call for a no-thinking disposition. but that’s not gonna happen anytime soon. cos i’m evolving into a cautious person, one who is always alert for the slightest sign. a sign that says, okay, this is when you stop. this is when you leave.
even in my sleep i’m not safe from this.
(btw, kenny, saw you at the airport. hehe)
i think the most defining moment of this little vacation was this part where my mood just plummeted, and i didnt feel like doing anything or saying anything. i just stood at the edge of the water and allowed myself to be consumed by the darkness of the sea and the sky that sort of merges into one big black expanse if you stare long and hard enough. the horizon disappears when you try hard to distinguish it. the nothingness swallows you if you let it.
of course, that wasnt my favourite moment of the weekend. i think it was the worst. and it spoilt the weekend. i’m so upset about it.
on a lighter note, we went to this fortune teller person who read my palm and my face. his biggest advice for me, besides that i shouldnt commit to any relationship before the age of 26, is that i should forever live a life of alkalic foods. apparently right now i turn blue litmus papers a bright red colour, and that’s not good.
the weekend passed by too quickly. i’ve got a slight panicked feeling, a stronger hurt feeling, and an underlying blissful feeling.
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