Kissing Napkins
August 21st, 2006
the bells on my flipflops tinkle with each step i take through the quiet bookshop. the smell of aromatherapy incense clouds my head and leaves me feeling drunk. i remember the afternoon before – small talk over oysters ‘n lemon slices, laughs over shrimp risotto, careful insinuations over iced coffee. i’ve not been well since. and i still have yet to get over this need to crawl into a small space.
i had a weird dream last night. there was USD 1000 involved, guilty faces and racism. the dream before that was about you. i cant remember what exactly it was about, it’s all so hazy now, but i do remember waking up with a start and thinking how it is absolutely important that i tell you about this dream. all about it.
“er, we’ll catch up later,” i said to her nervously. a look of realization comes across her face. wrong realization, lady.
today we were playing the “deepest secrets” game, where you anonymously write your secrets on a slip of paper and put it in the box, and each person picks one out at random, reads it, and attempts to guess whose secret it is. there was this one slip of paper that said, i always feel unhappy and alone. i thought it was infinitely sad in its brevity and its secrecy, compared to stupid tall tales of how people were caught having sex or farting in a room full of people and blaming it on another. but when it was read out, people were very dismissive because it wasnt a funny secret. i stood there behind the box, thinking, but secrets arent meant to be funny.
the sounds of the bells on my flipflops feels like an underlying element to the reality of the past 10 minutes. this place is too quiet and i feel like i am intruding. turqoise skirts and noisy slippers dont belong here. i step out of the bookstore feeling slightly choked.
Entry Filed under: Musings, Unsent Letters
13 Comments Add your own
1. clem | August 22nd, 2006 at 12:41 am
your musings, as always, are always a source of inspiration of sorts to me. i love it. :)
2. Waifon | August 22nd, 2006 at 12:55 am
I know this doesn’t seem to have anything to do with this post but you did watch PGL tonight right!? How was it??? I missed it:( for the second time.
3. pinkpau | August 22nd, 2006 at 1:29 am
clem : high praise :) thank you
waifon : it was awesome.. soooooooo amazingly good. very touching :(
4. Kyels | August 22nd, 2006 at 9:18 am
It’s definitely an inspiration. I can even picture that image in my mind.
(:
5. TheRealAnonymous | August 22nd, 2006 at 10:52 am
OUCH. But i probably would’ve wrote the same thing for the secret game. Going thru hell right now.
Not one of them happy entries that u always do… everything alright on ur side?
6. turquoise | August 22nd, 2006 at 1:00 pm
you write good entries. the drea must mean something. usually the person who wrote the i’m feeling unhappy is usually the most unlikely person you’d think is unhappy.
7. lips | August 22nd, 2006 at 3:56 pm
sometimes i think people dismiss these “serious” secrets because they’re afraid. afraid that if they agree, or take it seriously, something about them might actually show. and then their cover would be blown. and the image they’ve worked hard to create would be gone. just maybe haha.
8. MichelleSY | August 22nd, 2006 at 5:15 pm
Missing someone leaves a hole in your heart, takes a layer off your skin. It leaves you raw and open, always waiting, eternally sensitive to the slightest intimation that your other may be near. Even in your sleep, you are not immune.
At least I am assuming that the dream was a manifestation of you missing The Martian?
Here’s wishing you many, many more (happy) Martian dreams to come.
Cheers,
MichelleSY
9. revel-in-me | August 22nd, 2006 at 11:08 pm
The part about the person’s secret, made my heart ached for the him/her.
Thank you for a beatifully written piece. :)
10. pinkpau | August 23rd, 2006 at 12:03 am
kyels : hehe thank u
therealanonymous : are u kidding! my entries are almost always sad :P and yeah everything is fine, sorta
turquoise : everyone’s secret is a big thing .. i dont think it was right for people to be so dismissive.
lips : that has some truth to it :)
michellesy : haha no the dream wasnt about Martian
revel-in-me : my pleasure :)
11. TheRealAnonymous | August 23rd, 2006 at 12:46 am
No lar.. of course i’m not kidding… your matrian entries.. your food entries… your funny stories…etc etc. are always very very happy things to blog about! =)
I always have a smile on my face reading them. =)
Somehow i’m feeling the pain a bit on this one. Hope things turn out all rite fer u. =) I’m sure there’s million other readers just like me who’d be honoured to be able to help in any way if u need it. =)
12. link&hellip | October 8th, 2007 at 4:04 am
hi…
i agree…
13. link&hellip | November 11th, 2007 at 7:37 pm
hello…
great post…
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