Love Will Come Through

January 28th, 2007

“maybe they’re so close that they just dont care,” he said.

those words were like a slap to my face. as i walked around the car, opened the door and got in, i didnt say anything but my mind was racing like crazy and there was this roar of words in my head. then i closed the door and all was quiet. i quickly recovered and replied with the first introspective thing that formed on my lips. safe for now.

is it wrong that i care? about stupid little things. is it wrong that i’m a perfectionist, and that i want a storybook life? with pretty pictures and a happy ending to every chapter?

“so you think you know him better than he knows himself?” he asked.

“no, it’s just that i’m not fucking stupid, okay?” i shoot back, a little bit angry. how dare he? but i know i’m angry only because what he implies is true, and the truth bites. i’m wrong again.

is it wrong that i’m cautious? is it so wrong to be afraid? it’s so easy to say, be optimistic, have faith, listen.. but to actually be able to do it, and do it sincerely, that’s the difficult part. i believe in this, i really do. i believe in this so much that it hurts. but i’ve been known to make mistakes. i dont have the best judgment. and i have absolutely no reason to trust my own judgment. because, you know, i’m apparently always wrong.

Entry Filed under: Musings