so i’m now in phuket. i was conned into coming here, thinking it was going to be a nice little family getaway by the beach. well, i have since discovered it is not a nice little family getaway by the beach after all. very angsty. want to go home and eat cny cookies. how could my dad do this to me???
mom has my passport under lock and key to prevent me from taking the next flight out. this is terrible. arghghghghghghghgh.
/kills self
17 comments February 20th, 2007
the first thing i went to take was my mobile phone charger. i didnt have time to slam doors, not that it would have worked as prior experience would tell me. i picked my clothes up from the floor and my books from the desk. and the whole time i was angry. then he came in and grabbed me by the wrists in an effort to stop me from going. my left wrist still hurts. he shouted and i screamed. there was no place for reason or civility, and when the phone rang, neither of us picked it up. i realized i was not used to this. i didnt quite know what to do. like is this the part where i burst into tears? or do i just keep up this furious tirade? and there he was shouting explanations into my face and into my red checkered shirt. was that supposed to comfort me? was i supposed to feel reassured? i thought he was missing the point, and he thought i was missing the point. well, fuck the points. fuck that shit. all i could think of was leaving. and i did. but i came back. what can i say? i’m just a girl with a personality disorder.
18 comments February 19th, 2007
yesterday was the eve of the Chinese New Year. as is the custom, the family and i pottered off to granddad’s place for the reunion dinner last night. it was awesome - we had steamboat, entirely too much seafood and noodles and the most yummilicious prawns ever. and of course, my favourite foochow fishballs :D and lots of beer. and mandarin oranges. and barbequed meat. and CNY COOKIES!!! wheeeeeeeee.
during dinner, us kids sat around the table listening to our uncle spin tales of the 1960’s and the history of their building. they own a little coffeeshop on Peel Rd, and back in the 80s it used to be the place where all the tai ko’s would go to have their ‘table talks’. uncle was full of stories that night -tales of my dad when he was but a young one, or tales of parangs and severed body parts - and he had us either in stitches or in wide eyed horror.
my mom and i both wore a red top to dinner, and my brothers looked at us weird. “this kind of tradition you all still follow??” they said with raised eyebrows. we had no idea that red was already out of vogue.
there is so much more about cny that i wanna blah about, but the truth is it’s 4pm and i’ve just woken up. i’ve missed half of the first day of Chinese New Year!!! and so i’ve gotta go.. to go do my rounds of angpow-collecting and mandarin orange chomping. heehee.
happy Chinese New Year!
13 comments February 18th, 2007
i have my coffee and that familiar cloud of “SEI LOR!!!!” looming over my head. highlighters, post-its and a tropical rainforest worth of notes are haphazardly scattered around my desk. my hair is up in a bun. i am starving.
yup, it’s another pre-exam night. another all-nighter. i am going to be so grumpy tomorrow. watch out, world!
i am currently mugging for a Politics exam, the material of which i have totally no clue about. i blame this on my politics lecturer, for his liberalism when it comes to attendance. “i do not take attendance because it is a stupid thing to do, and a waste of my time,” he announced on the first day of class. needless to say, i have ever since foregone many a politics class in favour of a nice long lunch or a shorter academic day. the result? i have absolutely no fucking clue what Woodrow Wilson’s 14 Points are, or why he came up with Idealism. all i want to know is why we call him Woodrow Wilson when his name is really Thomas Wilson.
Isa says Absolutism is a sure topic for the essay section. there isnt even an Absolutism in my notes. what the hell? so if i wrote about brand preference for vodka, do you think Mr Leong would find it funny? absolutly.
nights like this remind me of what a nerd at heart i really am. coz i love studying. yes i’m one of those freakazoids. i cant help it. it’s the rush. and that feeling when you go into the exam room and realize you can answer all the questions … yeah you know that feeling … is it not the best feeling in the whole wide world?
speaking of bests. i had the best valentines day ever.
16 comments February 16th, 2007
every 3 days or so, there will inevitably be one night where i dont sleep and just head to school in the morning, cranky and with dark circles under my eyes. such is the notorious life of a thursday-night partyer and a tuesday-night webcrawler. apologies to all collegemates for having to put up with my tulan sleep-deprived attitude every monday wednesday and friday for the past 8 months.
so i was grumpy on the plane, mostly due to a lack of sleep from sunday-night procrastination-correcting efforts, but i must admit a good portion of my sullenness was directed at KLIA’s Godiva shoppe. there has been an exorbitant raise in their chocolate prices since the last time i patronized their business a month and a half ago. so what if it’s Valentine’s season? i dont give a fuck. this is robbery. and why do the cynics of the season always cite Hallmark and florists as the focal point of their angst? why not Godiva too? their chocolate isnt even that good to warrant such a jackup in price. in fact, Godiva is completely overrated. that said, i went and bought my usual box of chocolates anyway. hypocrisy is okay when it comes to whatever makes you happy.
the plane was surprisingly empty, and not a gay steward in sight. only one non-effeminate male among the bevy of beauties (yes this flight had really hot stewardesses), and he was quick enough to offer me a blanket upon noticing i was wearing a skirt too short for me to cross my legs decently in. why thank you, i trilled, quite thrilled. no worries, he said, shooting a meaningful glance at a young man a few rows up the aisle who had been indiscreetly eyeballing my legs. we shared a little conspiratorial smile, before he swished off to tend to an old chinese lady, with a subtle flick of his wrist right before he turned away. non-effeminate, but gay.
the Leg Eyeballer is a music junkie and a Seth Cohen lookalike. he later switched seats to sit beside me, but across the aisle. sensing a chat-up, i quickly put my book away and went to sleep. and i didnt wake up until we touched down on HK soil.
my return here is strangely uncomfortable - i almost feel like i should not be here - but this disorientation has since been quelled with many Martian kisses and the requisite pack of Vitasoy malted milk.
i had lunch with Martian this afternoon, at a cute noodle place on Wellington St where the wantan meen is superb and the waiting staff are psychic. and after he went back to work, i walked around Central on my own. being in hongkong always makes me feel younger and calmer, and i take in this feeling with much relish. being amongst the throngs of people walking 2 steps too quickly and barking orders down their Blackberries, i feel carefree. i can walk down Queen’s Rd Central at lunchtime without worrying about bumping into anyone i know. i have no idea why there is a disinclination towards the prospect of running into an acquaintance, but there just is one, and it is deep-rooted. back home, my senses prickle with the possibility of this occurence all the time, and i am always alert when in public places. perhaps it is fatigue. my body is telling me i need to see less people, and to spend more time alone.
i decided to have dinner by myself the other day. pasta marinara and a good glass of wine paired with The Feast of Love by Charles Baxter in one of my favourite restaurants sounded very appealing to me. when i sat down, there was a couple at the table in front of me - a caucasian man and his girlfriend. she was very animated and very giggly, leaning against him the whole time and chattering away merrily about what they can do for valentines day.
i later find out that the caucasian man is married, and not to the woman he was with that night. he texted me today, asking me where i was spending valentines, and i said ‘in hongkong, the land of dim sum, you?’. and he replied, ‘in italy, where all good things come from’. his wife is in italy. i cant help but wonder what tale he spun for the benefit of his other woman. i cant help but wonder if she saw right through it. this whole thing reminded me of one of my favourite chinese movies, the City of Glass. in it, shu qi and leon lai are cheating on their respective spouses with each other, and she says to him as they’re breaking up, ‘now you dont have to come up with lame excuses not to spend your birthday and valentine’s day with me’.
how is that supposed to feel, knowing that your significant other is spending his or her special day with someone else other than you?
23 comments February 13th, 2007
