Lime Popsicle

March 11th, 2007

tonight’s one of those nights. those Comments Off nights of bleakness and dissolution. few things make me happy lately; i drew a little bit of delight from watching an angsty angry cabbie eat an ice cream earlier tonight, but that cheer was shortlived. when i got home i sat on the floor for a long time weighing decisions but ultimately coming to nothing. then i crawled into bed and pressed my right cheek against the pillow, and i stared at the wall. i recognise this feeling and it’s loneliness. but i realize that i of all people have absolutely no right to feel lonely. i get so much love from my friends and family and boyfriend. i should shut up and be grateful for what i have. but at the same time i just want people to understand me. that’s the best gift you could ever give me.. just one ounce of understanding, for one minute. just see where i’m coming from, stop yelling at me, stop calling me names, stop expecting anything from me. this is all so unfair. you’re unfair. that moment haunts me in my dreams. it hits me at that very last second right before i cum. i sink into it slowly in the minutes before i fall asleep. it’s there in my mind when i pick up the phone and start talking. and i want to throw up. i think it’s sick. sick sick sick. my skin crawls. i want out but i dont quite know how to say it.

Entry Filed under: Unsent Letters