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Archive for March 20th, 2007

Airborne

right before i stepped on the plane, i felt this sense of panic. pure scary cold panic. i couldnt focus on anything - the attendant asked me for my boarding pass twice, and i heard her, but i just couldnt comprehend what the hell she was saying. i had to shake myself out of my thoughts and peel all the fright off my skin before it became clear what it was she wanted from me. boarding pass…? what? oh.. right. right.. right. um, boarding pass. uh, here.

before the plane took off i tried to watch my newly-torrented episode of Heroes, but once again i couldnt concentrate. it was the weirdest feeling, i didnt know what it was that kept disturbing my train of thought - but i felt as if i should be putting everything away and taking out pen and paper and working out the solution to some problem, instead of sitting here watching fucking Heroes. but how could i?? i didnt even know what the problem was!

the problem, along with its solution, only came to me when i was watching Deja Vu. y’know, that Denzel Washington show about going back into the past to stop crimes before they happen.. yea that one. at some point in between the stewardess refilling my glass of diet coke (yes i am going to die from aspartame poisoning one day) and my 2nd bathroom trip, i just suddenly knew i had the answer to my dormant problem. it wasnt a Eureka! or a Yatta! moment - no jumping out of seats or any bulbs lighting up.. but it was a new, quiet, contented peace of mind that let me know i could breathe once again.

to linger a little on the subject of randomness (which is now a touchy topic with me) - i guess it can be said that it was due to chance that i decided to watch Deja Vu and subsequently got the solution to my problems. see the thing is, on my flight to HK, i saw in the inflight magazine that they would be showing Ho Yuhang’s Raindogs on my flight back. needless to say i was ecstatic, because Raindogs is a movie i want to watch badly but have not been able to obtain till now. but then when i boarded this flight, i found that Channel 23, the channel that’s supposed to be showing Raindogs, was not working. what the..?! frustrated, i switched to Channel 5, which was showing Deja Vu. and watching Deja Vu was how i got my epiphany. chance? fate? i dont know. but thank you, Cathay Pacific Airways for having a wrecked Channel 23.

i feel like i’ve grown a little bit older. i understand things now that i didnt understand 3 hours ago. for instance, the fact that there are just some situations beyond my control, situations that i have to learn to move away from. and that i cannot be such a perfectionist and expect everything to be all hearts and flowers, or the way i want them to be. shit exists, pasts exist, mistakes happen. i finally understand, but most importantly, i finally accept.

right now, half the plane is bursting into laughter simultaneously. they’re all watching this comedy, and they’re all laughing like crazy. i dont mean laughing like a soft chuckle behind the hand; i mean full-on, belly-wobbling, uproarious, bellowing laughter. i’m a little bit jealous that i cant partake in a slice of their happy pie. because i dont know which comedy they’re watching. i guess i could ask them, but i’m lazy to, and i dont want to interrupt their entertainment.

and besides, i have my torrented version of Heroes. yatta!

6.13pm, CX 724.

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some photos from the weekend :

toilets on the street in Causeway Bay - no need to pay 20sen wan

an umbrella maker’s stand on Peel St! oh, the quaintness of it all! the orange sign says, ‘Ho Hee Kee Umbrella - in Hong Kong since 1947′. above the sign are newspaper articles and awards certificates for the umbrella maker :O