Omnipotence and Omniscience
it is 4am and i am sitting in a mamak with my laptop, doing research for a debate i have tomorrow, oh only on the most undebatable topic ever - Is God Real? needless to say, i am out to prove that God does in fact exist. not easy in a college-student audience, but then the worthwhile things in life are never easy.
i’ve been here for about maybe 2 hours now and i STILL havent gotten anything done because i am such a procrastinator. argh just shoot me. below is one of my procrastinatory efforts, namely a meme i created for myself, because i am such a work-averse person who will never get anything done at the rate i’m going.
3 things i would do if i were PM of Malaysia :
1. lift the ban on Anwar from holding political office
2. restore press freedom in malaysia
3. abolish the NEP
3 things i would do if i were President of the US :
1. pull US troops out of Iraq
2. not say stupid things
3. watch The West Wing in my free time
3 things i would do if i were my mother :
1. not steal my daughter’s shoes
2. not steal my daughter’s clothes
3. give my daughter more money
3 things i would do if i were Martian :
1. buy my girlfriend a dog
2. watch Grey’s Anatomy with my girlfriend done!
3. layan my girlfriend when she wants to run up and down supermarket aisles squealing at Tim Tams and cutesy drinks and cereal boxes
3 more things i would do if were Martian :
1. fix up wifi in my apartment so my girlfriend can happily go online with her laptop
2. stock up my refridgerator with lots of chocolate and snacks when my girlfriend is coming over
3. stay cute and hot
3 things i would do if i were a polar bear :
1. wage war against the penguins
2. tell all the lions i am a POLAR BEAR, not a freakin FISH
3. eat fish
3 things i would do if i were a ‘famous’ malaysian blogger :
1. understand that i am not as famous as i think i am
2. not dictate what other bloggers should and should not write
3. realize that linking-politics and traffic-obsession are extremely petty things
3 things i would do if i were a DVD seller :
1. watch all the movies i peddle so i can give worthwhile opinions when customers ask me “eh this movie nice ah?”
2. not lie to customers about clarity or nonclarity of DVDs
3. dye my hair blonde, coz i can
3 things i would do if i owned a cafe :
1. hire cute waiters
2. serve the best cakes in the world
3. allow people to take photos of the place and the food, and not eye them suspiciously when they are doing so
3 things i would do if i owned a mamak stall :
1. hire staff who will correctly place ‘kurang manis’ orders and not give customers the most diabetes-inducing drinks in the world instead
2. invest in a lot of rat poison
3. not tell the customers where i really store my ice
3 things i would do if i were Ms Yani, aka Su Ann’s macroeconomics lecturer :
1. not deduct 5% from Su Ann’s final grade for being late/absent all the time
2. not deduct 5% from Su Ann’s final grade for being late/absent all the time
3. not deduct 5% from Su Ann’s final grade for being late/absent all the time
3 things i would do if i were God :
1. give Su Ann proof that i exist so that she can win her debate tomorrow
2. throw a get-together in heaven to watch Bruce Almighty
3. make pigs fly
Comments April 16th, 2007
