Omnipotence and Omniscience
April 16th, 2007
it is 4am and i am sitting in a mamak with my laptop, doing research for a debate i have tomorrow, oh only on the most undebatable topic ever - Is God Real? needless to say, i am out to prove that God does in fact exist. not easy in a college-student audience, but then the worthwhile things in life are never easy.
i’ve been here for about maybe 2 hours now and i STILL havent gotten anything done because i am such a procrastinator. argh just shoot me. below is one of my procrastinatory efforts, namely a meme i created for myself, because i am such a work-averse person who will never get anything done at the rate i’m going.
3 things i would do if i were PM of Malaysia :
1. lift the ban on Anwar from holding political office
2. restore press freedom in malaysia
3. abolish the NEP
3 things i would do if i were President of the US :
1. pull US troops out of Iraq
2. not say stupid things
3. watch The West Wing in my free time
3 things i would do if i were my mother :
1. not steal my daughter’s shoes
2. not steal my daughter’s clothes
3. give my daughter more money
3 things i would do if i were Martian :
1. buy my girlfriend a dog
2. watch Grey’s Anatomy with my girlfriend done!
3. layan my girlfriend when she wants to run up and down supermarket aisles squealing at Tim Tams and cutesy drinks and cereal boxes
3 more things i would do if were Martian :
1. fix up wifi in my apartment so my girlfriend can happily go online with her laptop
2. stock up my refridgerator with lots of chocolate and snacks when my girlfriend is coming over
3. stay cute and hot
3 things i would do if i were a polar bear :
1. wage war against the penguins
2. tell all the lions i am a POLAR BEAR, not a freakin FISH
3. eat fish
3 things i would do if i were a ‘famous’ malaysian blogger :
1. understand that i am not as famous as i think i am
2. not dictate what other bloggers should and should not write
3. realize that linking-politics and traffic-obsession are extremely petty things
3 things i would do if i were a DVD seller :
1. watch all the movies i peddle so i can give worthwhile opinions when customers ask me “eh this movie nice ah?”
2. not lie to customers about clarity or nonclarity of DVDs
3. dye my hair blonde, coz i can
3 things i would do if i owned a cafe :
1. hire cute waiters
2. serve the best cakes in the world
3. allow people to take photos of the place and the food, and not eye them suspiciously when they are doing so
3 things i would do if i owned a mamak stall :
1. hire staff who will correctly place ‘kurang manis’ orders and not give customers the most diabetes-inducing drinks in the world instead
2. invest in a lot of rat poison
3. not tell the customers where i really store my ice
3 things i would do if i were Ms Yani, aka Su Ann’s macroeconomics lecturer :
1. not deduct 5% from Su Ann’s final grade for being late/absent all the time
2. not deduct 5% from Su Ann’s final grade for being late/absent all the time
3. not deduct 5% from Su Ann’s final grade for being late/absent all the time
3 things i would do if i were God :
1. give Su Ann proof that i exist so that she can win her debate tomorrow
2. throw a get-together in heaven to watch Bruce Almighty
3. make pigs fly
27 Comments Add your own
1. BENevolent Ben | April 16th, 2007 at 5:47 am
Wow what a stern econs teacher. So, where do Steven’s Corner store their ice?
good luck to you in your debate anyway.
2. pinkpau | April 16th, 2007 at 5:59 am
benny ben ben : she is so mean lah. eh i where can tell u steven’s secrets… u ask them urself. heehee thank u for ur wellwishes, really need it coz i have low confidence for this debate.
3. k0k | April 16th, 2007 at 9:14 am
Oh God! One reason I kept coming back is that you can make me laugh over and over again without the need of crappy Hokkien and Cantonese expletives (which by the way, is so not funny anymore).
And good luck to you on your interpolar campaign. You’ll have to swim to the South Pole for that.
4. fishnet | April 16th, 2007 at 9:40 am
haha! good luck for your debate! we just lost our taylors debate in the qtrs against subang jaya. T-T it was just 5 pts and it was so darn friggin close!
5. songjun | April 16th, 2007 at 9:41 am
lol gila :P
but if i were the PM, i’d not abolish NEP, because frankly, we need it as for now. Once the other um.. malaysians have caught up with the economical disparity of the um.. richer malaysians… then only abolish. However, i’d review the NEP and make it as such not a certain race is just favoured but anyone that is in need of economical help. (However we live in a country ruled by the majority which means policies that benefit the majority so well… hmm) Oddly, in america, there is an inverse of that policy.. called some minority advantage thing which means that if u are a minority, u have a higher chance of favour over the majorities lo(such as loans, entry into school etc)l. As for Anwar, let him into politics also now oso he doesnt have the backing anymore lol.
Anyway, he doesnt need to be in political office to make a stand/noise, he can do it by proxy via ‘his’ party anyway.
Press freedom would be good, makes the government accountable.
If i was bush, i’d not pull out troops now. It will be the death of iraq and civil war and basically… every mid eastern country in the region is going to want to fight for iraq lol, all chucking in their ‘proxy armies’. Hell there i tell u. What he should do is maintain US presence but allow UN participation (more troops is what iraq needs actually and a presence of ‘everyone’s here helping not just americans who want oil’) and have US forces report to a unified UN Command and not be independant of it. But his red neck ego isn’t going to do that. And his red neck generals lol :P Ego i tell u..
And i wouldnt stop saying stupid things.. its my tag line! hahaha being a redneck idiot -.-
as u can see im too free lol.. actually im not im stressing ot over my deisng project arhg :P
6. TheThinker | April 16th, 2007 at 9:53 am
Well said SongJun . . . help to the minorities . . . and the fact that more troops are needed in Iraq rather . . .
7. entwined | April 16th, 2007 at 10:57 am
hahahahaah! nice meme you created :D good luck for your debate!
8. kiasu andrew | April 16th, 2007 at 11:39 am
good luck babe! and nice italics.
9. melvin | April 16th, 2007 at 4:03 pm
next time, run for Member of Parliament, my vote goes to u..future YB Lim Su Ann :)
10. MichelleSY | April 16th, 2007 at 4:25 pm
Good luck for the debate Pinkpau!
And is your mom still pinching your clothes/ accessories on the sly - so crafty lah she!
ps: Is Addendum #4 allowed for 3 things I would do if I were PM of Malaysia?
What about that pile of crap, er I mean, international tourist attraction that is Eye on Malaysia?
11. sweat | April 16th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
why is everything in italics! i don’t like! and God doesn’t exist because if he does, then why am I still short and boobless wtf ignore me lah i’m so boreddddddd.
12. Janice | April 16th, 2007 at 8:23 pm
Hey PinkPau, God proved it, you guys won :) Congratz, you were really good
13. Michelle | April 16th, 2007 at 11:08 pm
“If God exist?”
Isn’t that considered breaching the rules of truism?
14. sarang | April 16th, 2007 at 11:14 pm
hehe all i can say cute cute cute for putting up this:)
15. pinkpau | April 16th, 2007 at 11:41 pm
k0k : no need.. we just send missiles over to them! arrrr!
fishnet : aww =( nvm. make sure u guys force the school to let u join other debates.
songjun : the longer u keep the NEP around, the worse the disparity is going to get. rich will get richer, poor will get poorer. anwar will have my backing haha! i will campaign for him!!! good point abt iraq, but id like to actually see the democratization the US went in ‘for’ in the first place. and WHY u say i gila huh huh huh.
entwined : thank u :) my team won.
kiasu andrew : no more italics oredi!
melvin : who knows, i may! haha! watch out, parli, here comes the pinkpau!
michellesy : yup she still does it. she took off to hongkong with a bunch of my shoes and handbags. eye of msia is the least of their probs!
sweat : dont worry babe no more italics. aiyo babe u donno meh, u must pray and fast and all then u’ll get ur boobies!
janice : haha our team just worked well together !
michelle : the motion was hardly truistic, and neither were both team’s cases for it
sarang : haha! thanks
16. percy | April 17th, 2007 at 12:09 am
“not deduct 5% from Su Ann’s final grade for being late/absent all the time”…..huh nowdays go this kind of rules in college? how can they implement this kind of rules is not fair to them…haha lucky i grad already ;)
17. songjun | April 17th, 2007 at 1:09 am
hmm.. well think of it this way
if a minority controlled the majority of the wealth, owned most of the businesses and lived in a country whose majority are mostly non business owners or lowly paid ppl… what would the majority do?
look at africa and the post ‘white’ years and germany pre WW2, and indonesia and malaysia pre 1969.
and i dont think the NEP is causing a disparity, i believe its just making an avenue for the u know who’s to have an oppurtunity, although its more racial guided then wealth guided. Quite silly that i see rich malay kids here in the UK under scholarship. Some of them own houses here -.-. Like.. WTF. But at the same time there is a number of non malay scholars too.. admitedly these are the creme de la creme… compared to the malay scholars who get moderate results.
18. songjun | April 17th, 2007 at 1:14 am
haha well..got some form of democratisation la there.. very crude form though
but whats lacking is security there. u know human needs pyramid? if the basic needs are not met , then high level human social organisation isnt goign to work.
but its a really arsed war anyway.. they werent going in there for democratisation in the first place.. they went in for WMDs which werent there and a flimsy stupid excuse that iraq had smoething to do with sept 11 and that iraq can provide ‘logistics’ to terrorists.
in actual fact, there is no link between islamic fundamental terrorists with saddam in the first place because saddam is not idealogical at all and is very secular. Dont need a CIA department to tell me that, and well.. WMD being there ok la.. to an extent reasonable but the way they dealt with it is such a sham.
ooh dont u miss these kinda odd debates on ur blog HAHA
19. Cat-chan | April 17th, 2007 at 9:11 am
Hm… interesting. I think you’d do well as a leader of the people~ =^^= Only, I remember reading somewhere that tyrants start of with their people’s best interests in mind. Will check that out when I have time (2 tests coming up this weekend).
How come you guys get the interesting debates? I’d rather debate about the existence of God than say… the carbon tax. -.-”" Btw, how’d you win? Just curious, as a fellow debator~ =^^=
20. TheThinker | April 17th, 2007 at 11:52 am
You’re going to back a man who once screamed for our blood when he was wearing the badge of the double keris ? . . .
21. Sharizal Shaarani | April 17th, 2007 at 11:55 am
i finally got here! hope you won your debate today… err for god’s sake! ;)
22. Bryan | April 17th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
Why would you want pigs to fly? Imagine what if they poo in the sky!! LoL…
23. nick au | April 17th, 2007 at 1:41 pm
Three thing I would do if I was pink pau.
1. Start even more pink color! Literally a pink-death preferred!
2. Think of 2 more things to do.
3. Think somemore of 2 more things to do.
24. george | April 18th, 2007 at 12:53 am
zomg! I have finally stopped moving!
and polar bears shouldn’t fight the penguins :(
haha
25. pinkpau | April 18th, 2007 at 3:28 pm
percy : actually it’s quite fair seeing how 10% of our final grade is attributed to attendance & participation =(
songjun : just u wait, later i send kevlar over to this comments thread .. haha then u two can fight till kingdom come just like old times!
cat chan : hey carbon tax is an interesting debate! haha to be honest we only started prepping the night before, so we didnt have much material. bank on rhetoric only lor. but we brought up ontological theory, cosmological theory, etc but our case was that god is a reality that cannot be proven by science.
the thinker : ‘lesser of the evils’ comes to mind. at least this dude is actually smart.
sharizal : monopoly!! im gonna kick ur ass
bryan : so that everyone who ever said “ya when pigs start flying” will have nothing to say anymore, hahaha. wei where have u been! long time no see!
nick au : haha i got soooooo many things i would do if i were me
george : GOOD stay put now! and yes polar bears should fight penguins if penguins say stupid things and not stick up for their friends
26. songjun | April 18th, 2007 at 9:37 pm
ahhaha omg :P old times HAHA
27. Anonymous | May 8th, 2007 at 6:05 pm
protip: when anwar says he’s going to abolish nep, he’s lying. NEP is eternal.
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