Mirror Exchanges
April 22nd, 2007
the evening sun was out and i was standing there choking back dust. an old eighties song was playing on the shabby radio that had lots of little glittery stickers stuck on it. the air had a fluttery cigarette smoke finish that i would later find clinging to my hair. I Heart Pak Lah, said a little poster lazily tacked to the wall with dirty pieces of tape. some men were wolfwhistling at a chinese woman in tights and knee high boots who was rolling her eyes as she talked on her pink flip-phone that doubled up as a menagerie.
it was then that i realized, people just want to be special. this is the mother of all cheat codes when it comes to navigating the twists and turns and hidden passageways of the social arena. as much as people have their little idealistic plasticine models of the perfect boyfriend or the perfect best friend, it ultimately boils down to how the other person makes you feel. we are all attention-seeking whores; we like attention and we like to know that we are more special than the girl or guy next door or anyone you ever had in your life. we like to be at the apex of the bell curve. and that is why playing hard to get almost never yields results - instead, one has to make the other person feel accepted and good about themselves, be it through the attention given or any other concievable means. no one likes to feel left out.
like i said, people just want to be special. what’s special? long handwritten cards, showing them photos from your childhood, sharing stories and insecurities, a cup of coffee, no secrets, compliments whispered in bed, proudly telling all your friends, defending them when your friends point out their flaws, supporting them, believing in them, knowing how they like their eggs, exclusive trust, tenderness, bringing them home to meet your parents, opening up, holding hands, saying i love you, not noticing other members of the opposite sex, protectiveness, sticking together no matter what, letting yourself go.
that’s special. that’s inclusion. that’s family. that’s what people want. how do you expect someone to feel comfortable with you if you make them feel like a stranger?
Entry Filed under: Musings
29 Comments Add your own
1. MichelleSY | April 22nd, 2007 at 9:43 pm
Sigh.
That was beautiful, it really was. It’s like you put out a hand and closed it around all these thoughts floating in the air and commited them to paper.
And yes, it is about how the person makes you feel. Although, humans, being the perverse creatures they are seem to need the odd prompt to keep the thought of their other half on their mind. But what if you can’t physically be with them? Wherein to find that prompt?
That list you made would be a good place to start =)
*Hugs*
2. JustAnotherTragedy | April 22nd, 2007 at 10:03 pm
What happened to all the eye candies? :(
3. anon | April 22nd, 2007 at 10:08 pm
i guess i need to work harder to make my someone feel special.. =)
you have a very good way of putting down feelings and thoughts on paper/blog.
4. reallybites | April 22nd, 2007 at 10:13 pm
i just had a talk with my friend last nite about what you said on the second para, second sentence.
—-
the greenhall place is not far la actually..near the jetty there if im not mistaken..actually i dont know where exactly isit also haha….but its far from my place, about 20-30 mins by car (yes in penang thats considered very far di ) coz i live in the jungle.
will try to make it la but if i still cant drive by then, then too bad hehe
5. TheRealAnonymous | April 23rd, 2007 at 12:14 am
Aiks… you sound lonely. Poor lil’ girl. Are you somewhere far away from home? =p Or just the mind thats wondering a lil’ far from the body? hehehe
Anywayz… been MIA for a while coz’ work was murder. The last time I talked 2u was around Chinese New Year rite? Yeah… after CNY I went back to Phuket again for work for about a month… then I was on board Star Cruise for 2 weeks, and DAMN! Star Cruise cannot online !!!! =( 2 weeks no internet CAN DIE WEIH!
And now i’m back in Phuket again… ! hehe… so please do BLOG MORE yah! Then I can keep myself entertained. =)
How have you been btw?
6. entwined | April 23rd, 2007 at 12:24 am
“not noticing other members of the opposite sex”
as much as we would like them to do that, i’m afraid this is just an impossible criteria to fulfil. if they notice, as long as they don’t gawk/drool/stare/ogle and when we ask, they answer “no ah, i wasn’t looking at her. hot meh? not hot ah!” until we give them the green light to discuss abt the said girl’s attribute, then i consider mision accomplished la :D
and my bf makes me feel special! he does all the things on the “what’s special” list! :D :D okay you are making me feel so mushy mushy now. :P
7. k0k | April 23rd, 2007 at 12:57 am
Suddenly, a lot of vague concepts became clear to me. Thanks for the heads up.
8. GeneralTso | April 23rd, 2007 at 1:30 am
hie, you don’t know me… but did i spot you looking hawt near Low Yat just now?
9. Jonathan | April 23rd, 2007 at 4:28 am
Your need for perfection is understandable, but understanding perfection never exist is a need for everyone
10. lishun | April 23rd, 2007 at 8:54 am
this post made me feel like such a fool for thinking that it’s best for me to distance my friends…for what reason i would think that, i have no idea.
11. bulat | April 23rd, 2007 at 9:50 am
i love your last sentence or statement or point…which ever it is. it’s really something i never really thought of till now.
12. Johann | April 23rd, 2007 at 10:42 am
Nice pic :D
Been really busy so haven’t had a chance to talk to you or see you online… hopefully this week (that’s what I thought last week) :S
13. SzeWei | April 23rd, 2007 at 2:39 pm
hi su ann. I have to say that you write the greatest blog entries i’ve ever read, ALL of it : )
haha owh. u missed one out. * blog about them ?
14. Jun | April 23rd, 2007 at 4:04 pm
hey girl! if tht long-distance is getting to u, jt remember tht he’s suffering jt as much as u are too– and probably more– so u both are gonna treasure this relationship even more :)
15. Kington | April 23rd, 2007 at 6:03 pm
I make them feel special too early. Then I seem too easy. LOL.
Ah were all learning I guess?
You blog very often……..
16. pinkpau | April 23rd, 2007 at 6:13 pm
michellesy : communication is always good, but i suppose even that has its potholes. *hugs*
justanothertragedy : havent touched my camera for a few weeks now. have barely been in the mood =(
anon : it’s easy to write abt these things and be concise when ur feeling it firsthand
reallybites : which sentence - the one about navigating the social arena? wei go watch lah =(
therealanon : nope, ive been home for a good 2 weeks now. liking it very much :) haha u crazy wan lah, phuket is like ur 2nd home now! i osowan to go star cruise..!! ive been so unbelievably distracted these days, but good. finals end this week and i’m indefinitely free to do whatever the hell i want after that.. haha! when u coming bak? we have a movie date!!!
entwined : i dont actually mind my boyf looking at other girls, coz i oso like to look at girls.. haha! so we can look together! but i think it’s very very cute when there are couples who are so into each other they only have eyes for their partner. and you are a very lucky girl.. hang on to ur boy :)
k0k : hehe always glad to be of service
generaltso : haha oh my god ya that was me. i wanted to study in the starbucks / cbean there but both were closing early.
jonathan : how bout i just want the closest hthing to perfection then? surely thats attainable.
lishun : i always got that vibe from u, like ur reluctant to let people in. well that makes it so hard for your friends then doesnt it?
bulat : i used to do that. i would never let people in, then at the end of the day i’d be asking, why dont these people even wanna try to push their way in? truth is people wont even try coming in if they dont feel welcome in the first place. people are rejection-averse.. :)
johanny : wait till u get rid of all ur deadlines, o future husband o mine!
sze wei : haha YES.. blog abt them. that’s definitely one!
jun : thank u :) i always need to be reminded of such things.
kington : ahh there’s a fine line to tread. the secret is treating them special, but then later showing them that you treat everyone else the same. haha yes i blog often. too many thoughts to put down in words.
17. Prince William XVII | April 23rd, 2007 at 7:53 pm
haha, how do u know i retake ur test few times…..nice quote
“how do you expect someone to feel comfortable with you if you make them feel like a stranger”
Lim Su Ann
18. foreverjas | April 23rd, 2007 at 10:18 pm
Today = 23/4, a saxophone has 23 keys, the no. of letters in “Animal Control Department” = 23, September 11 2001: 9+11+2+0+0+1=23 .too crazie over the movie number 23. haha.
19. reallybites | April 23rd, 2007 at 10:39 pm
oops the third sentence…the one after the social arena..
not like you’re in the play right..if you’re in…i sure go watch!
20. TheRealAnonymous | April 23rd, 2007 at 11:18 pm
Haha… icic, you sounded like u’re in need of familiar faces around you so i tot u were away. =p
LoL… yea man, tell me bout it, i’ve been here in Phuket 2 of the past 3 months! =p But i dunno why u few days oso cannot tahan di go run back home lorh! hahaha… if oni i was here when u were, i confirm can find something for u to do wan. =p But right now, I also wished i was home… coz’ TOMORROW’S MY BIRTHDAY! Dammit… i wanna be home with my friends! =(
Wanna go star cruise ar? Then go lorh! LoL… who’s stopping u ar? Hehehe… after phuket i’ll most probably be goin back on board star cruise! =p
Good luck on your finals weih!! Yeah lorh… we still have our movie date! And our ice cream date! =p hehe… i’ll be back arond middle of May, will give u a buzz nearing the time i’ll be back aight? Den we can arrange something.
21. GeneralTso | April 23rd, 2007 at 11:46 pm
dang! you looked… tall! :p
anyways, i’d buy you coffee the next time i see ya!
22. jinz | April 24th, 2007 at 12:08 am
lol..well…i tried my best to make someone felt specail..problem is people need to accept too..lol…
23. pinkpau | April 24th, 2007 at 2:22 am
prince william : it gets a little easier to tell when i see a few of the same names in the results page.. :)
foreverjas : shhhh i havent watched!!!
reallybites : *wiggles eyebrows
therealanon : arghhh phuket is boring boring boring. okay u lemme know
generaltso : sure anot. okay good i love coffee
jinz : i am absolutely 100% sure that even though sometimes it didnt seem like it, she recognized and appreciates all the little things u ever did for her in her own quiet way :)
24. Michelle | April 24th, 2007 at 6:57 am
I feel even more emo after reading this. 0_o
25. TheRealAnonymous | April 24th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
LoL… was the experience really THAT BAD for u ar? =p Got so much things to see here and so much food to eat !! Can’t do much shopping though, shopping hav to go bangkok or hatyai lerz… =p
26. Adrian C | April 24th, 2007 at 6:55 pm
That was nice. God made us all special … always remember that Pinks. Still … it’s quite refreshing to go into the specifics …
27. foreverjas | April 24th, 2007 at 10:38 pm
sorrieeee
28. pinkpau | April 25th, 2007 at 4:36 am
michelle : emo can be a good thing :D
therealanon : hmph. still dont like phuket. gonna head to koh samui soon, whee!
adrian c : i dont feel special :( God cheated me.
foreverjas : no worries ;)
29. TheRealAnonymous | April 25th, 2007 at 10:24 am
I just went to Koh Samui last week…. if you think phuket is boring… u won’t last a day in Koh Samui lar. There still quite undeveloped… and everything is so far away from everything else… so u’re going to have to get a car to get around. =p
Why so lansi wan u… my b’day oso neva wish me! =(
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