Archive for April, 2007
my latest bout of the blues has chosen to occur at a most inappropriate time; it’s a Saturday night and i am miserably holed up at home in an oversized tshirt and with my hair up, as i am prone to do when these moods hit.
i attribute it to the really disturbed sleep i had last night. i didnt have nightmares or anything, but i woke up feeling like i went to bed with a huge urgent problem and did not wake up with a solution. i cant help but feel a little bit cheated; last night was the only night in many days that i’ve been able to have a proper sleep, and it didnt even have the courtesy to turn out well.
so the alarm went off at 9 this morning, jarringly reminding me that i have to be at Times Square for the ESUM finals in an hour, but i thought, fuck that. there’s no way i’m getting out of bed today. lunch with the julian and the yun and the szetoo was a no-go as well, so i got to stay in bed till 2pm. by the time the evening rolled around, i was still feeling like i wanted to drown the earth in a tub of water (can anyone explain this weird need to me??), so i canceled all of my saturday night plans to hermit at home. sigh. the boyfriend’s advice was to just get up and go somewhere, but i simply could not bring myself to pretty up and go out and air kiss and make small talk and take photographs.
i’ve got a bit of angst that i need to vent. i love my boyfriend so much, but this long distance thing is taking a toll. i cant stand that i’m sitting around in need of love and he’s not here to give me hugs and kisses. it’s just that i’ve never been a long-distance person and never will be. i realize now how much i’ve completely taken for granted all those times i had a boyfriend who would come by my house with ice cream and kisses or who would take me out for a movie if i ever needed cheering up. i cannot put into words how much i wish that Martian and i could have that sort of relationship. but i suppose that’s not going to happen anytime soon.
and i have a lot to be grateful for, so i’m going to shut up now.
anyways in an attempt to cheer myself up that would require only minimal social contact, i went out alone and came back with : lots of magazines that i will probably never read, La Boheme egg tarts, chocolate, blueberry cheesecake from Secret Recipe, McDonalds (hahaha quarter pounder!), a whole truckload of diet coke (so much for my non-diet coke week) and 3 pints of ice cream because i couldnt decide between cookies & creme or tiramisu or macadamia nut brittle. i love comfort food. i’ve got the cookies & creme with me now, and i feel so much better already!
and i’m glad that my brother just came home. it’s nice to have someone around.
———–
here are the answers for my quiz that everyone except sieutheng failed!!! -___- very difficult meh the quiz! just admit that you guys need to spend more time with me now!
1. i was miss popularity. haha most of y’all picked miss congeniality, but that was actually the one category i wasnt even in the running for. apparently my high school student body didnt think i was very congenial :P
2. i would nag you for eating sharks fin, eating foie gras and not registering to vote. i wouldnt nag you for buying animal skin products.
3. my weird habit is turning down the radio the moment i get into someone’s car. hahaha i dont know why i do it!!! it just happens. i guess it’s coz it’s a little annoying having to talk above the noise of the radio.
4. i get moody when i dont talk for a prolonged period of time. seriously. so if i’m unhappy all you have to do is make me talk a lot and i will be all smiles again, heeheehee.
5. i would never sit for an exam without studying. oh my god so kiasu but it’s the truth!! i’ve been known to get into the cars of strangers, and i do yell at my parents whenever we have loud disagreements. and i loveeeee not wearing bras!
6. quarter pounders forever!!! do you guys know how good they taste with barbeque sauce!!!
7. my dog is (was) called Sugar. sieutheng’s dog is called Coffee, and Kupo is the name i’ve always wanted to give my next dog. *points and laughs at everyone who thought my dog’s name was Antonio Banderas hahahaha*
8. the biggest misconception about moi is that i eat a lot. IT’S TRUEEEE. i totally and completely love food but it is unfortunate that i’ve been born with an extremely pathetic stomach capacity. most of the time i have to wait an hour or so before i can start eating again. sedih right. ya i know.
9. in my relationships, i am totally demanding and sulky (as all my ex boyfs would tell you), i run away from problems and i break up so often that my friends have begun to tune out whenever i start moaning and groaning about my latest breakup. but i’m not jealous and insecure. funnily, both songjun and Martian think that i AM jealous and insecure -___- whateverrrr lah, boys, whateverrrr.
10. my first boyfriend in high school was a basketball player!!! love love love. but he’s not a basketball player anymore.
faster faster everybody go make a quiz also so i can take! i so totally love this shit :D
p/s : it’s Earth Day tomorrow! while i was out and about the past week, i noticed that lots of supermarkets and convenience stores have put up posters on minimizing the use of plastic bags. there are a lot of recycling drives and car pools going on too! whee. i am happy that people are beginning to realize how important such efforts are :)
April 21st, 2007
so yesterday i went to catch the preview of Screwed, the latest production by The Oral Stage. Screwed, like its predecessors eight, Rojak! and fiftynineminutes, is a series of several short plays and monologues that bring to the stage both the unconventional and the familiar, all with a good story to tell.
perhaps the most impressive thing about The Oral Stage’s shows are that they’re all completely directed, produced, written and performed by the notorious young ones (i say this like i’m really old) at The Oral Stage. to act out a character in a piece with conviction and talent is challenging enough, let alone writing an original piece that promises to titillate, or successfully jigsawing together an entire production! some adults cant even do this right. ahh, power to the young. i love it!
Screwed is comprised of 10 performances, and imma attempt to summarise them here (without spoiling too much) for your benefit, coz i want everyone to go watch Screwed, because not only is it totally worth it, MY BEST FRIEND IS ALSO IN IT!!!!!!!!!!
*beams with pride*
okay okay seriousness, seriousness.
the first piece is The Colour Green, which explores jealousy and unconditional love. written by Davina Goh, we’re shown a story of two characters in love, but what happens when one of them has conditions for what is thought to be an unconditional love? is unconditional love a universal absolute or does it have its varied stages and versions?
The Tortoise and The Hare is an insight into the backstabbing and cruelty of the dog-eat-dog career world. Tortoise is the socially-inept office recluse who eats lunch alone in her cubicle, and Hare is the pencilskirt-wearing power woman who knows exactly what she wants and how to get it. Emily Yoon (aka KL’s Sandra Oh) who plays the Tortoise completely steals the show with her stellar performance as a stuttering and shy introvert who’s trying hard to make herself heard above her oppressive colleagues.
Lam Wai Yee and Lee Wai Min both star in The Silent Piece, an eerie and sympathetic short that brings us into the depths of a girl’s trauma. this piece i felt had by far the best acting of the entire Screwed series, and i’m not just saying this coz waimin is my best friend, haha. waimin is as usual, effortlessly wonderful and i love that at many points in The Silent Piece, she wasnt afraid to let loose and really free herself from her inhibitions and self consciousness in order to really bring out her character. she was so good, that you could NOT tell she was only casted for this piece less than 4 days prior to the show. as for Wai Yee, she was the one who did the monologue of an actress transiting flawlessly between 3 different accents in TOS’s previous production fiftynineminutes. i remember being totally in awe when i watched her show last year! with Wai Yee, it’s all about the little things that she brings to her performances that makes them so amazing. in this particular piece, it’s all in her eyes, the slight shuddering of the shoulders, the tensing of the toes; pure genius.
my beautiful regret is a monologue so dark and disturbing, that i wasnt too surprised when i was told it was written by Gavin Yap. presented by Brananannanana (Branavan Aruljothi, last seen in The Breakfast Club) in his boxers, this piece is an expose of vulnerability and heartbreak and of times long gone. i really do feel that Branavan brought a sense of reality to the piece, i loved that it wasnt over-the-top like a lot of people would have done it. it was a beautiful, subtle performance that successfully captured the defeatedness and sadness of the script.
Rauf Fadzilla, my fellow Ampang brethren, wrote the next short entitled The Big Joke. i heartily apologise, but i missed what the big joke is here. i’m apparently too stupid for Rauf’s writing :P nevertheless, it was a brilliant juxtapose of live and death, quiet and noise, questions and answers. there is a part in this short where Emily flips through a book of memories (made by waimin, haha it’s so cool, make sure to look closely at it coz she put in so much effort) and she reminds herself of things that have happened. soooo poignant and touching. it’s the little things that mean most.
How I Lost My Identity In 10 Minutes And Other Matters That Don’t Really Matter is awesome writing and i could totally relate!!!!!!!!! keywords : ‘xiang jiao ren’ and banana person =( Nick D is the banana person here, lamenting the lack of communication between himself and his Chinese-speaking friends and family. it’s a pretty good commentary on english-speaking people who consider themselves above their mother tongue, and how westernized our youth are becoming these days. “funny how we sign up for French classes when Mandarin classes are just next door”, says Nick’s best friend. Nick also has a professor, played by none other than the fabulous GARY OOI!!!!! muahahahhaa all of us just burst out laughing when he came onstage in typical flamboyant and manic Gary fashion. oh Gary! you will always be my Adam! twice!
next up is The Murukku Conspiracy, that is centred around traditional Indian values, love, family and neighbourly ties. i thought the use of murukku in this script was absolutely brilliant; as audience, you find yourself either agreeing with the daughter and thinking murukku is just another snack and is insignificant in the grand scheme of things, or you find yourself siding her mother who believes that murukku MUST be present at the wedding because of its role in Indian culture.
a toilet is then placed in the middle of the stage, and we are presented with Toilet Talk, written and performed by Doreen Loo. i have no words for how effortlessly Doreen pulled off this monologue. i totally loved it. it was SO entertaining and so authentic; there is not one moment your attention strays from the piece.
M for Magenta is a piece written by Gary and features himself alongside Christine Ellis and Wai Min the Awesome. what can i say, the original script was 10000 times better than what i saw onstage yesterday. a lot of the wow factor was robbed from the script after the drastic change in plot, nevertheless all 3 actors did a good job.
the final performance is called The Untitled Choral Piece and features six actors in a commentary about Malaysian driving and road safety. utterly hilarious, i LOVE it when satire on Malaysian culture and lifestyle are presented onstage, heeheehee. it was very well-written, by Kelvin Wong if i’m not wrong, and was the perfect closing to the series!
my favourite pieces : Silent Piece and Toilet Talk for the acting; How I Lost My Identity In 10 Minutes and the Untitled Choral Piece for the writing. best performances : Lam Wai Yee, Emily Yoon, Gary Ooi.
hats off to the folks at TOS. you did it again!
Screwed is showing at KLPac from today the 19th of April to Sunday the 22nd of April, at 8.30pm, with additional 3pm matinee shows on Saturday and Sunday. Ticket prices are RM27 for adults and RM17 for students. To purchase tickets, call KLPac at 03-4047 9000. folks at Penang, fret not, Screwed will be coming to Greenhall Penang from the 4th - 6th of May!
next up, Gavin Yap’s Tell-Tale Heart at the end of this month. i’m quite excited! will be there on opening night - is anyone else going?
April 19th, 2007
i bought myself a month’s time with a piece of plastic. spoke to a lady with a heavy northeastern american accent and found myself getting extremely irritated that she couldnt spell my name right despite incessant repititions. s-u-a-double-n. no no no, not w-n. DOUBLE n. not W. DOUBLE N. well FUCK THAT, it’s s-u-a-n-n!
incredulous is the emotion of the morning. i’m looking at all these people and i cant believe how calm they are. maybe it’s the eggs n’ coffee, maybe it’s the weed. or maybe it’s the fact that they will always have toilet paper on the holders and they know it. they know it, and they smirk on the inside at people on the outside who are looking in with jealousy masked by veneers of nonchalance. so even the people who dont have toilet paper on their holders look calm. everyone is calm. what gives? did i miss the memo? i definitely didnt miss the nervous flutter in my heart. and the anxiety pangs when i woke up. i clutched the pillow but it didnt comfort me. my bedsheets smelt different, like the smell of another man.
there is a certain breathlessness about how this week has been marked off the calendar. like everyone else, i’m rushing through the days blindly; pushing away hanging vines of obligation and having my face scratched by the scarring loss of opportunities. but i dont care. i dont give two shits. i just wanna get to the castle with the moat and tall towers.
i was a little bit angry tonight. i wished for a red car driven by a person with red hair to come whisk her away. and i would be left here staring daggers sideways at this other person’s left shoulder.
i came home to a quiet house buzzing with the sound of the television left on standby. kicking off my shoes, i flung myself down on the couch and sighed my hours away. if my engine overheated, who would i call? 5 minutes later i woke up startled and thinking that someone was talking to me. if my engine overheated, i would call him.
April 19th, 2007
i’ve just finished reading a story about fishes, watercolour swirls and bamboo steamers. as i was reading, i played it all out in my head. i became her; i became the girl who had run away from home and straight to the cheap motel room of a man she didnt even know the name of. but instead of pushing past him like the story says, i ran right into his arms the moment he opened the door. clutched him tightly. tried to translate some of my pain onto him. god knows why i did that. but it was something i would have done.
i had a strange dream yesterday. i was lying on a bed in between two people and pretending to be asleep. the girl was on my left and she was covering my eyes - her fingers were cooling and she was careful not to press too hard - while talking urgently to the man, who was on my right. he didnt answer her though, but was staring up at the ceiling. i dont know why i have that last bit of information seeing how i was pretending to be asleep and my eyes were covered anyway, but i just knew it, and i was secretly proud of him.
i am currently in starbucks again (surprise surprise) whittling away time because i cant seem to get anything done. i suspect that something is missing from my life but i dont know what. there is no answer in my caramel macchiato. some jazz artist with a milky voice is crooning a tune overhead, but it is hardly soothing. it’s just making me angrier.
right now i am craving intimacy so much. i feel like picking up that lone scrabble set on the sugar station, putting on my best cute-face, and walking up to someone and asking them, “fancy a game of scrabble?”. surely one can find a bit of tenderness amongst wordplay and triple letter scores. more than in magazine articles and tennis coaches, at least. sigh. sigh. sigh. sigh. there is therapy in sighing out loud.
there is also therapy in hot chocolate, signing on msn, looking through old pictures, talking to my brothers. but the comfort is shortlived.
sometimes i dont know why i put myself through these things.
April 17th, 2007
it is 4am and i am sitting in a mamak with my laptop, doing research for a debate i have tomorrow, oh only on the most undebatable topic ever - Is God Real? needless to say, i am out to prove that God does in fact exist. not easy in a college-student audience, but then the worthwhile things in life are never easy.
i’ve been here for about maybe 2 hours now and i STILL havent gotten anything done because i am such a procrastinator. argh just shoot me. below is one of my procrastinatory efforts, namely a meme i created for myself, because i am such a work-averse person who will never get anything done at the rate i’m going.
3 things i would do if i were PM of Malaysia :
1. lift the ban on Anwar from holding political office
2. restore press freedom in malaysia
3. abolish the NEP
3 things i would do if i were President of the US :
1. pull US troops out of Iraq
2. not say stupid things
3. watch The West Wing in my free time
3 things i would do if i were my mother :
1. not steal my daughter’s shoes
2. not steal my daughter’s clothes
3. give my daughter more money
3 things i would do if i were Martian :
1. buy my girlfriend a dog
2. watch Grey’s Anatomy with my girlfriend done!
3. layan my girlfriend when she wants to run up and down supermarket aisles squealing at Tim Tams and cutesy drinks and cereal boxes
3 more things i would do if were Martian :
1. fix up wifi in my apartment so my girlfriend can happily go online with her laptop
2. stock up my refridgerator with lots of chocolate and snacks when my girlfriend is coming over
3. stay cute and hot
3 things i would do if i were a polar bear :
1. wage war against the penguins
2. tell all the lions i am a POLAR BEAR, not a freakin FISH
3. eat fish
3 things i would do if i were a ‘famous’ malaysian blogger :
1. understand that i am not as famous as i think i am
2. not dictate what other bloggers should and should not write
3. realize that linking-politics and traffic-obsession are extremely petty things
3 things i would do if i were a DVD seller :
1. watch all the movies i peddle so i can give worthwhile opinions when customers ask me “eh this movie nice ah?”
2. not lie to customers about clarity or nonclarity of DVDs
3. dye my hair blonde, coz i can
3 things i would do if i owned a cafe :
1. hire cute waiters
2. serve the best cakes in the world
3. allow people to take photos of the place and the food, and not eye them suspiciously when they are doing so
3 things i would do if i owned a mamak stall :
1. hire staff who will correctly place ‘kurang manis’ orders and not give customers the most diabetes-inducing drinks in the world instead
2. invest in a lot of rat poison
3. not tell the customers where i really store my ice
3 things i would do if i were Ms Yani, aka Su Ann’s macroeconomics lecturer :
1. not deduct 5% from Su Ann’s final grade for being late/absent all the time
2. not deduct 5% from Su Ann’s final grade for being late/absent all the time
3. not deduct 5% from Su Ann’s final grade for being late/absent all the time
3 things i would do if i were God :
1. give Su Ann proof that i exist so that she can win her debate tomorrow
2. throw a get-together in heaven to watch Bruce Almighty
3. make pigs fly
April 16th, 2007
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