in all seriousness, i may lose my life this weekend. so before that happens, i want to publicly declare the delegation of my treasured possessions to the rightful parties now, in order to avoid any ownership tug-of-wars when i’m dead and gone and cannot rightfully confirm who will have what.
to my father, i leave my weighing scale that is actually yours but i stole it. hahaha. well, you can have it back now!
to my mother, i leave all my shoes and handbags. and that leopard-print slip that’s a little too big for me. yes mum, now you dont need to work so hard at finding all the hiding spots in which i stash my latest purchases. p/s : the enzo angiolini shoes that i would never let you borrow are underneath the rolled-up final fantasy 8 posters underneath my trenchcoats.
to Tall Brother, i leave my full-length mirror. you know you want it.
to Short Brother, i leave my room. the space only, you idiot, not the stuff. you may as well have it. dont think i dont know you always sleep in my room whenever i’m out of town!
to Kak Nur who’s almost family, i leave all my makeup. dont think i dont know you always secretly try on my makeup whenever i’m not home! yes, you can have my makeup brushes too.
to Martian, i leave all my little white thongs. ahem. and my Ixus coz i know you like it. and all my love for ever.
to Sieutheng, i leave my 2007 angpau stash. it’s in that little cabinet underneath the jigsaw portrait aira gave me! use the money wisely okay… dont squander it all on shisha or something.
to Waimin, i leave my laptop. coz you will most probably never get one of your own. eh.. i got all of Grey’s Anatomy season 3 on my harddisk! watch okay! ogle McDreamy. send him my love.
to Aira, i leave my long-overdue bday present for you. hahaha! it’s the giftwrapped package on the 3rd rack of the shelf next to my wardrobe.
to Ivan, i leave the Topshop & Topman vouchers i have in my certificate folder. go buy yourself some new duds, my dahling. hopefully you bump into you-know-who again!
to Jovann, i leave my iPod. yes lah yes lah i know yours is more canggih than mine, but better than nothing right!
to Songjun, i leave all my Starbucks vouchers. you can find them in the folder where i keep all my certificates. here’s to many many many iced hazelnut lattes when you come home!
to Johanny, i leave many many hugs and smooches and memories of first-time meetings in Crown Towers, Melbourne.
to Smartypants, i leave my entire collection of books! you know where they are!
to Hock Chuan, i leave you the sole packet of Reese Peanut Butter Cups i have left. it’s on my desk in my room.
to Tze, i leave my Alexander Mcqueen shoes and all the Kookai stuff i have in my wardrobe!
to Kevin The Beaver, i leave the phone numbers of all the hot girls i know. you can find them all in my cellphone.
to Booha, i leave my entire MP3 collection (C:\Su Ann\MP3s in my laptop) and all my local singer-songwriter CDs! check out the Reza Salleh one! it’s at the top of the pile on my desk.
to Puppy, i leave my RBJ Patron status! because i’m a hippie like that! oh and my domain space as well.
to Dr. Scott, i leave the uncropped version of my shower photo. but only coz i know you’ll approach it from an artist’s POV!
to Kenny, i leave all my Powerbars, the ones i didnt eat. the reason i’m dead is you!!!
to Ginny, i leave my angel wings. may you never be conned into paying too much for another pair again!
to Albert, i leave my Goodbye Boys VCD, as well as the bottle of Bacardi in my kitchen, second cabinet from the right. arrrr!
to Jay, i leave my Singapore Selftimer photos to caption with as you please. and that Clark Kent phonebooth photo too! and the hope that the makers of Grey’s dont decide to do that ridiculous spinoff.
to Azlan and Jeremy, i leave a pinch on both your backsides!!! how dare you get me all excited over our australia getaway and then just kill my hopes like that!! stoopid -_____-
————————-
okay the end, i got no more stuff to give away.
and before i leave the world forever, here are some more Singapore Selftimer photos for all my nearest and dearest to remember me by :( this time, it’s me and Kermit the Frog!
check out the Space Invaders wall!! it was at this point that i noticed Kermit and grabbed him to camwhore
kermit likes his eyeball licked
spot the kermit!
kermit and my backside
bored kermit and bored me coz ming keeps neglecting us
doing laundry.. not
locked out! or just pretending to be
and finally, a somewhat proper pic of meself and ming!
okay i’m gonna go relish the last few minutes of my time in this world. i still have yet to tell my family and friends how much i love them, eat my last Oreo and drink my last Diet Coke. i’m looking back on the past 18 years of my life with some resignation; there are so many things i wish i had done differently. but then again, i had a kickass life and way more than my fair share of fun, so no regrets :) and at least i’m gonna die an honor roll student, haha.
but it just kinda sucks that i’m never gonna be able to read the last Harry Potter book.
on nights like these i go to sleep with some unease. i curl up in bed, close my eyes and succumb to vivid imagination; i can almost feel his lips on my cheek and on my neck. we’re holding hands. sometimes i crawl on top of him while he’s sleeping and kiss him a few hundred times on his lips, on his face, on his forehead, on his chest. and even though he’s fallen asleep, he always wakes up to kiss me back. then we’ll fall asleep again together still holding hands. but sooner or later i’ll have to open my eyes and remember that i’m only imagining everything. he’s not here and i’m not there. we made love once in my bedroom and it was the sweetest thing ever. i could cry just thinking about it. my blue and white bedsheets remember him and they remember how they like him; they like the hard contours of his body and his scent and his skin, and they always giggle with glee and welcome him warmly whenever he returns. rare as his visits are, each one means a lot. and everytime he goes, he leaves his delicious martian scent behind on my pillows and in my duvet, and for a few nights after that it’s almost as if he’s here with me, and i can wrap my arms and legs around him and kiss him and hold him. it’s a little bit like cheating myself, i know, but i’m in love, and people in love do desperate things.
we’re not together anymore though. havent been for a while. i am here once more in this post-breakup phase where i find half of myself gone, and in its place is a jagged-edge nothingness of futility and cruel destiny and memories of ass-grabbing space invasion.
but of course i didnt just wake up; i just havent gone to sleep yet. i’m sitting around eating ice cream from a brand i dont even like. i can hear the whistling of the LRT’s tracks as the train of a particular 7-minute interval cruises smoothly along them. it is a sound that reminds me of mismatched curtains and bedsheets, strawberry cheesecake ice cream and laughing over MSN chat history.
i wish i was on that train going somewhere, staring at the shoes of people i dont know or seeing who’s kind enough to give up their seats to ladies and the elderly. maybe bump into a Fireangel on the way to gym or an ex-high school teacher who still wears the same black polka-dotted blouse. i could get down at Masjid Jamek and buy banana fritters, or i could get down at Taman Jaya and spend the day reading old books at the secondhand bookstore in Amcorp Mall. anything. as long as i’m not here sitting around eating ice cream from a brand i dont even like.
i’ve just returned from singapore! spent the past 2 days there with the sole intention of watching the Phantom of the Opera - the one musical i’ve been dying to watch since forever.
i stayed with Ming when i was over in SG. can i just say he is the most excellent host ever! not only does he know where to get all the best food, but he also gave me a room with a pc and internet access, AND he’s got really nice friends who like truffle oil and help me bait worms onto my fishing hook, hahaha! awesome possum.
but because Ming is a busy busy man, sometimes i very tak dilayan wan. he’s always on the phone with this client lah, that client lah. so when i tak dilayan, guess what i did heehee.
… camera self-timer love, but of course!!!!! i hereby enclose pics of me shamelessly selftimering myself all over ming’s place :
pinkpau the world boxing champion!!!
doing the miss universe wave
while lying on the floor, i looked up at the ceiling and saw… CCTV cameras. urks. i had to remind myself to behave after that and not climb on anymore furniture…
what i do best, hehehe raiding the fridge!
this is before Lucky the Dog started humping my leg -__-
muahahhaa
i *think* that thing is a lamp
the stupid infamous malay mail pose
the tai tai wrist-flick!
Phantom of the Opera was AWESOME by the way. so fantastic i could cry. seriously, you can study the story for english literature class or watch the movie and enjoy both.. but there is absolutely nothing like seeing it onstage. everything was just so completely breathtaking. sigh! big smooches to Ming for taking me :)
do you guys have any idea how powerful that newspaper lying innocently on your coffee table is?
all my life, i grew up thinking that The Newspaper is the ultimate source of information. with it i become smarter, with it i learn better English, with it i know what’s going on in my country and what’s going on in the world. with it i become knowledgeable, with it my mind is opened, and with it i become liberated from the katak di bawah tempurung syndrome of the young and the naive.
you know how when someone admits they haven’t heard of a specific current affair or event, the retort they get from most people is usually, “you dont read newspaper wan ah”? such is the gigantic role that our newspapers play in mass information dissemination. the newspapers have become the first thing we turn to for updates and news. and with that, we expect them to give us the truth, the facts, the real stories, the lowdown on what’s going on.
but do we really get all that?
on usual days, i note with mild disgust the type of news that is deemed worthy of our front pages and page threes. and by that, i mean zoo staff carrying a crocodile in for mating, ministers of different races in batik shirts all smiley and muhibbah as they ‘lou sang’ together and random wonder kids who can do form 5 add math problems. i dont know, someone please tell me - is this the kind of stuff that should rightly take precedence in our mass media, a mass media that has a responsibility to educate and inform a country of 24 million?
April 17 2007’s front page touted our Customs Department success in uncovering a scam involving APs and luxury vehicles. ooooooh, a case worth 1.5 million!!! hoohah our Customs Dept so smart. but of course this is front-page worthy wat, any excuse to kiss govt ass. you realize how our newspapers just love to do that? nevermind that the Virginia Tech shooting took place the day before, nevermind that is a world-shaking event that should have principal attention, nevermind that THAT is what should have been on our front page in the interest of informing our public. but nooooo, let’s bury the report on the VTech shooting all the way in the back!!! let’s instead highlight how our Customs Dept is soooo good at busting scams, so that we may bolster public confidence in our government!!! because you know, government-glorifying is more important than a well-informed malaysian society!!! *rolls eyes*
on the same note, am i the only one tired of reading drugring bust after drugring bust? whenever our police force do anything remotely right, all the fanfare and trumpets and confetti are brought out. it’s always magnified in the newspapers whenever the police solve cases quickly, and it is all written to sound so completely FANTASTIC that they succeeded in doing their job. but hello??? is that not what the cops are supposed to do?! their JOB? it is a given that they should solve their cases with minimal time, and when that happens, yes there should be a pat on the back and all but they should NOT be revered for doing one time what they should be doing all the time. ultimately, SOLVING CASES IS THEIR JOB. it is not a fucking PERK.
and the fucking newspapers would do well to stop trying to doctor the negative public image of the cops, because we CANNOT live in a concocted utopia. it is so true that our cops are lazy good-for-nothings who have so much more to achieve before they start indulging themselves in stupid big-time bicentennial celebrations, but our newspapers try to persuade us to believe otherwise. why the heck do they keep seeing this need to tell us that our police force is very the good when it is actually very the not?? hmm let’s see! maybe to inject false confidence into the public about the way things are being run? maybe to make us think that there is nothing to complain about in our current administration? GEE I WONDER.
i for one personally think that our newspapers need to take some responsibility here. you know how all these mainstream media ppl are always on bloggers cases about responsibility… yeah well how about THEIR CIVIC DUTY??? dont they realize that if they decided to swing the other way (ie stop kissing ass) and run exposes on the shortcomings and deficiencies of certain parties (police, ministries), it would really pressure the aforementioned parties to get off their asses and start improving themselves? but because our newspapers DONT do that, and instead allow themselves to be gagged and silenced and censored by ‘atas’ people… that is why Malaysia is the way it is today; stuck in this unchanging cycle of forever repeating mistakes and never getting better. simply because our newspapers are irresponsible cowards.
i mean, tiu, might as well just wrap up and call it a day lah, if you are a newspaper but cannot report this, cannot report that. people over the centuries fight so hard for freedom of speech, and here are malaysian newspapers negating all that effort just by their very non-principled existence. it makes my blood boil just thinking about it.
hey but all of that is just on usual days. what REALLY pissed me off over the past few weeks and spurred me to sit at my computer ranting like an angry woman, is the despicable journalism that went on in regards to the recent Machap and Ijok by-elections.
as we all know, it was BN vs DAP in Machap, and BN vs PKR in Ijok. and as we all know, in the weeks leading up to both elections, our main newspapers ran only like a few million articles on the total awesomeness of the BN candidates, and concurrently also ran many cleverly-guised attacks on the Opposition parties.
and as we also know, BN then won both elections.
when i was a kid, we never talked politics at home or in school. so the only source of information i had on local politics was The Star, which is the newspaper that my grandmother buys and places on the dining table every morning for our reading pleasure. The Star, which is majority-owned by MCA (and by extension controlled by BN), would obviously sing constant praises about BN and at the same time smear the images of the Opposition parties to the safest extent. but being a kid, i didnt realize they were doing that. i simply ate up all that propaganda because i thought the newspapers reported everything and the truth. so i grew up with the image of BN being the best future for our country, and that the Opposition were all lying, cheating, mudslinging politicans who used underhanded tactics to secure votes. i grew up thinking, when i’m old enough to vote, i’m going to vote for BN.
and that is what the Malaysian mass media is for, ladies and gentlemen : to act as propaganda tools for our current government, in order to sway 24 million Malaysians into voting for BN in every election. why do they that? because their asses are all owned by the government aka BN.
what, did you really think that newspapers were here to help inform and educate you? think again. that’s totally secondary.
what they are really here to do is to indoctrinate malaysians into believing that BN are the ‘good guys’ while the opposition parties are the ‘bad guys’. to those of us who read newspapers on a daily basis, all we read about is pro-government and anti-opposition propaganda (some subtle and some not-so-subtle), that inevitably we begin to believe that voting for the government is the way to go. the latest lies and dirty tactics of the Opposition are all we talk about at the coffeeshops because it’s the only interesting gossip on the elections that the newspapers specifically chose to publish. but CONVENIENTLY, we aren’t informed about any of BN’s lying and cheating and dirty tactics, even though it is the truth that they engage in such deceptions. instead, we are spoonfed glowing report after glowing report on how BN promises to do blahblahblah, the public is confident in BN blahblablah, publicity for campaigning BN candidates blahblahblah, and other biased blahblahblah that makes me sick to my stomach.
so with all this praise and glory for BN on one hand, and tarnished images for the Opposition on the other hand, tell me; who would you vote for in the upcoming election?
the newspapers skew and distort and manipulate our views and perceptions when it comes to voting, and the sad part is we dont even know it. well i’m here to fucking tell you. every day when we read newspapers, we believe that what we are reading is the truth, and that we are empowered by this ‘truth’, but the fact of the matter is, we are no more than manipulated pawns in the grand scheme of things.
they take our minds and they mould it. it’s up to you to take your mind and individuality back, and learn to make correct and informed decisions by not allowing the mass media to tell you what to think. learn to filter for yourself what is the truth and what is not, and learn to seek out that truth if your government-owned newspapers conveniently forget to provide this.
sigh. malaysia, malaysia, malaysia.
i have one more thing to say. i am sick and tired of people complaining left right center about how the government stupid lah, the government sucks lah, the government waste our tax money lah … but then at the end of the day, they VOTE FOR THE SAME STUPID SUCKY GOVERNMENT THAT THEY LOVE TO COMPLAIN SO MUCH ABOUT. hello?????? am i the only one who sees something wrong with this picture??
malaysians, malaysians, malaysians. our leaders are only as good as the people who put them in government.
Pinkpau is Su Ann. 19, Malaysia. Hostile when hungry. Sometimes a shapeshifter, always an optimist with a penchant for pessimism and shoe-shopping. More?
Contact at : pinkpau[at]gmail[dot]com
Quaintly.net
The point of the pinkness of this site is to annoy the crap out of you. Really. What made you think I was a nice person? More?
urks. i had to remind myself to behave after that and not climb on anymore furniture…
