I’d Rather Have You Stop Me

words fail me sometimes. not because i’m a verbal perfectionist who always has to find and use the precise word that correctly captures the essence of the situation, but because sometimes i’d rather just soak it all in than struggle to think of what to say. it’s a little bit like camping out on some rocks to take photos of the perfect sunrise; adjusting all your settings over and over again and attaching the right lens as you wait patiently, but at the split second that the red-orange rays finally burst through the horizon, you find that you’d rather just stand back and watch the sunrise in awe - for yourself and by yourself - than squander away that one precious moment in frantic clicks, flashes and shutters.

my insomnia is getting bad; these days i can only fall asleep in the daytime when i’m just outright exhausted. the quiet of nighttime and lack of sunlight just make me feel more vibrant and alive. last night i watched him as he slept, my angsty man. he was holding my hand and when i moved to straighten my nightie, he held my hand tighter. i kissed his bare shoulder. ran my fingers across his stomach. there’s nowhere else i’d rather be.

June 20th, 2007