The Opposite Of Travel
June 27th, 2007
it starts with the crisp lemony smell of the cabin, followed by the flight attendants’ checking of your boarding pass to tell you which of the two aisles to go down. i used to really dislike the former but i have since developed a kind of nonchalance toward it, and the latter i try to avoid completely by pretending to be totally absorbed in the headlines of the local newspaper i just picked up even if it’s in a foreign language.
i’m talking about coming home. as fun and exciting as travel is, there is nothing like the fluttery feeling that you get in your stomach as you step on the plane to return home. time sloshes around in a beaker when you’re on the plane; all those hours garnished with peanuts and orange-juice-from-a-carton trudge on like days on end, and even when you wake up from a nap and think that you’re almost at your destination, you’re actually not, and there’s still a long way more to go. sigh. books dont even help anymore these days, i cant remember the last time any book was reliable company during a flight, despite the fact that i’ve read some good books lately.
when i got home last night, the first thing i did was eat a cup of instant noodles. then i laid on my bed (which now smells suspiciously like it was imperialised by Short Brother), and stared at the smattering of glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling which i taped up there when i was 13 but then got lazy and never finished taping all of them up.
anyway yes kawan-kawan sekalian, i am home, but only till monday before i am off again. ya i know. dont whack me. lately it seems every phone or email conversation i have begins with “hey su ann are you in kl?”. slowly but surely my circles are starting to do things without me because they assume (and not wrongly either) that i’m not in town. i am trying my best not to mind.
and a big thank you to all the people who still take some time off to check on me whether or not i’m in town :) as well as furiously hunt me down for dinner or movies or just to chill when i’m back. it’s always very nice and at times like these i am reminded of who my real friends are.
i jinxed myself the other day. on the plane to Singapore, i realized with some irritation that i had forgotten to pack my cosmetics case. there was just this very vivid picture of that darn orange mesh bag sitting on my desk at home. so when i got to Changi, i immediately went to MAC and bought 400 bucks worth of makeup essentials; bless travel-sized (and travel sized-priced!) brush sets!
but thennnnnnnnn, later when i got to Hong Kong, i found that i DID actually pack my cosmetics case! arghghghhgh so i spent 400 bucks for nothing.
and now one week later and back home, i unpacked to find that i left BOTH my cosmetics case AND my newly bought makeup at Martian’s place. !!!!!!! sibeh tulan. how now you tell me.
ditz moments aside, i’ve been highly strung and stressed out lately. too many things to do and too little time, as well as expectations that are too high. sometimes i dont quite know what to do with myself. and the not knowing what to do infuriates me to no end.
i’ve always been a high achiever, or at least that’s what i want to be. falling short of my own standards and not getting what i want make me angry. and then when i try to tell people that, they say i’m a perfectionist, as if it’s so bad to have aims and goals. so i tell myself these people know nothing about drive, they know nothing about ambition. but then i feel bad after that for thinking such thoughts against people who just dont know the right things to say to someone who just needs a little bit of encouragement.
in the KLIA Express on the way back to KL Sentral, i ate peanut butter cups and just stared out the window for the entire ride. it was a splendid 28 minutes.
————
because Kiasu Andrew promised me badges and bumper stickers :
TheCICAK has launched a competition themed 50 Years, 50 Heroes: Young Malaysians You Need to Know in conjunction with Malaysia’s 50th Merdeka Day.
All you have to do is write a story of 1,000 words or less in English or Malay, take a photograph, and you stand a chance at winning the grand prize of RM5000 cash. The best 50 stories will also be published into a book. Submissions deadline is July 15th 2007.
If you are confused or have questions or want to take advantage of the special deadline that only a select few know about, email Andrew Loh at andrewlza[at]gmail[dot]com. Remember to say that you also want a badge and a bumper sticker.
30 Comments Add your own
1. Michelle | June 27th, 2007 at 5:55 am
Muahahahahahah! I’m the first to comment!
Was doing Maths practice when I typed this thing……..
Wish me luck for my Maths exam and oh, today I have an English Essay paper…… =)
I hope by reading your blog in the early morning would give me some inspiration in what so ever topic that the paper has in store for me….
2. Johann | June 27th, 2007 at 7:34 am
You spent 400 on cosmetics in sg? O_o….
That’s ok, I’m sure it won’t be too long before you are back there. And I guess you’re not coming to visit me then :(
3. ionStorm | June 27th, 2007 at 8:08 am
This back and forth thing is starting to get a little expensive no?
That aside, I think its good to have ambitions, dreams, a drive and what have you. As long as you don’t impose the same standards on the people around you, you’ll get along fine…but I think you’ve already realized that. :)
4. foreverjas | June 27th, 2007 at 8:23 am
aww. at least you blog!!! i love ove your blog, and your stylee. you’re one rocker! and u really know how to enjoy life! XD
5. Artificially Tim Tam | June 27th, 2007 at 9:33 am
eh in my defence, the shop closed at SEVEN PM… which self respecting cafe (and hard working worker) closes (and leaves work) at 7 PM????? ok so email pics tqtq.
hmmm… we were talking about ambition the other day. hope i didn’t come off as you described. but anyway, do what makes you feel fulfilled and happy but if it doesn’t work out, there’s always a job as an investment banker in the sales dept :P
6. martian | June 27th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
ive some short term goals: chicken, duck, tamatgotchi, dog, cat, diamonds…
keep your dreams alive baby.
7. Michael | June 27th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
welcome home…
8. dawn_1o9 | June 27th, 2007 at 5:18 pm
it’s great to be an achiever, and that can’t be called as a perfectionist… There are many ppl in the world who don’t know what they want to do in life, but you know what you want to do, you plan what you want to do, and then you get where you want. If they didn’t happen, it’s not because u didn’t try… it’s just fate. But what matters is that you tried.
9. pinkpau | June 27th, 2007 at 5:46 pm
michelle : all the best! essays are so fun to do
johann : 400 ringgit malaysia lah! if SGD i will be pulling my hair out now. and YOU come visit me =(
ionstorm : i hv separate standards for myself and for other people, because i’ve learnt that expecting too much from others always sets one up for disappointment. well i suppose the same can be said for expecting too much from oneself, which is the problem i’m in now :)
foreverjas : and u always know the nicest things to say :) tq
artificially : shaddup lah you……….. so many days since then you cannot go and take izzit!?!?! chee seen lah lei, investment banking… i leave that to you and the boyfriend
martian : those are some fantastic short term goals! definitely High on the priority list, right? :D
michael : thank u :) its good to be bak
dawn_1o9 : i think if i have to articulate what i hate most in the world, it is trying and failing. i know i know, all those old adages like, you never know till u try, or u cant succeed without first trying to, etc come to mind.. but i simply cant stand the fact that the best i hv to give is not enuf. so if i think i wont make it, i wont even try.
10. Michael | June 27th, 2007 at 8:45 pm
” so if i think i wont make it, i wont even try. ” same like me~y waste my effort if i knew that it will be a failure?
11. kiasu andrew | June 27th, 2007 at 9:02 pm
thanks muacks!
12. vainjupiter | June 27th, 2007 at 9:37 pm
love your blog… i think we have some similarity. don even try if you are very sure its gonna be a failure…try it if you cant be very sure… i m a dragon, so i kinda know and understand… wats more, i am dragon, and a LEO… so….
13. g. kryptonite | June 27th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
Oh the sweet hubris of the youth. I too remember the days of insatiable drive for perfection… There’s nothing wrong having aims and goals; just don’t let them weigh you down. Life (especially youth) is too short to live under constant struggle for perfection. Enjoy… and good luck with your essay/story. Judging from your blog, I’m sure you’ll do well.
14. george | June 28th, 2007 at 1:21 am
i just wanted to say ‘The Opposite Of Travel’ is probably the coolest title i have come across in a long time :D
15. pinkpau | June 28th, 2007 at 2:35 am
michael : yalor buat malu and make urself disappointed only
kiasu andrew : much welcome muaks
vainjupiter : i dont understand how ppl can say ‘nvm at least i tried’ and be happy abt the failure still. sigh. haha i’m dragon and libran, nice to meet u
g krypt : that’s my exact dilemma right now, i dont know if all this striving for perfection thing is what’s making me happy. and thank u :)
george : whee. do i win a prize? :D
16. Jeff from LA | June 28th, 2007 at 7:56 am
I think I always used to be a perfectionist until I got into law school. It was super stressful, but it helped me get some successful results, i.e. I was able to qualify for a top-tier law/graduate school. However, when I was there I realized that perfectionism was going to drive me crazy. Now I’ve changed my philosophy to always put in the greatest amount of effort that I can and don’t worry about the results as much. As long as I knew I put the work in, and did my best effort, I’m happy.
Also, you must have quite a few frequent flier miles with all those flights you take, ;)……
17. Artificially Tim Tam | June 28th, 2007 at 8:49 am
you left it at the counter? i thought you left it at a table or something… how i know they would keep a half eaten cake there???
18. sieutheng | June 28th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
hey is wuthering heights good?
19. tze | June 28th, 2007 at 5:38 pm
people wanna meet up with you also you got no time u wanna feel so blessed for what! is that what being friends for ages in high school mean! *bitter
20. Marianne | June 29th, 2007 at 3:25 am
When are you coming to Canada? You know you’d be treated like a queen here right????
I would take you to the BEST places to eat, in which you’d love me for life.
I can promise you that. ;)
21. Marianne | June 29th, 2007 at 3:31 am
Actually, check out my site. I have a post JUST for you Su Ann!
22. Adrian C | June 29th, 2007 at 1:51 pm
High maintenance girl … O_o. Best of luck to Mr. Martian.
23. alice lee | June 29th, 2007 at 9:45 pm
Somehow instant noodles are indigenous to anyone anywhere around the world, wont you agree?
24. Anonymous | June 29th, 2007 at 10:02 pm
welcome home… i’d call/ask you out if i know you but alas… i’ll probably go on dreaming about you for awhile more before someone else comes in and dominate my imagination and probably my life. cheers.
25. Jun | June 29th, 2007 at 10:05 pm
talking bout travel, i fell in love with mars when i was there ;) shitloads of things to see man! just the city itself was so vibrant! how i loved walking among the crowds! and that 7-11 microwavable rice that u blogged about? instant rice never tasted so good… *closes eyes and muses over the aroma and taste of my dried octopus and pork rice*
many thanks for writing about hk and the pointers on places to chk out. love ur blog and ur quirky writing– as usual :)
god bless.
26. Albert Ng | June 30th, 2007 at 2:11 am
Write a list of stuff to ferry!
1) Goodbye Boys
27. pinkpau | June 30th, 2007 at 6:06 am
jeff : it must be nice to reach that stage in life. tell me, how is the view from up there? and yes you are right about the air miles, haha!
artificially : oh my god.. im beginning to think u have a reason for not wanting to take the cake. damn wasted ok
sieutheng : i love it!!! it’s a classic tho
tze : =( =( =( dont lah i very sad u leaving wan u know
marianne : i SO want to be thereeeeeeeee. wait till i go to US to study, then i’ll hop over with chris one of the days!! :D and oh. my. god. abt the blogpost.
adrian c : dont simply say!
alice lee : actually i think it’s more of an asian thing than it is to say america and europe. or new zealand. or it could be a poor student thing, i dont know :P
anonymous : how dare someone take my place in your life like that!
jun : oooh i never tried that octopus one!! must go try it now :D did you have good egg tarts? krispy kreme? vitasoy malted? woon chai gou? dim sum? dan dan noodles? char siew pau?
albert ng : hahaha okokokokokOK
28. Jun | June 30th, 2007 at 3:23 pm
egg tarts egg tarts… eat until i wanna fart *lame* been having so many tht i’ve induced egg tart phobia in myself :( krispy kreme? ohhh yess!! vitasoy malted? check. ditto vitasoy other-flavours and practically the whole fridge of 711 ;p woon chai gou? din come across them. dim sum and char siew pau? hell yeah! (heard of luk yu? supposedly quite famous but it din live up to expectations *pout*). dan dan noodles? no… but those ubiquitous instant noodles (gong chai meen) definitely yes. ;p
btw it’s octopus and chicken, not pork, silly old demented me! just realised it cos i’m blogging about mars and trying to influence as many ppl to teman me there next yr (hopefully! *fingers crossed*)
29. Michael | June 30th, 2007 at 8:09 pm
sad me…living in HK for so long, bt never explored the “legendary 7-11″ myself…next time i shud ditch my “che zai min” for the octupus+chick microwave rice..=.=” normally just went there to get some beer or u know wat lol~
30. senny | July 2nd, 2007 at 2:50 pm
oscar wilde said before, ambition is the last refuge of failure.
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