Archive for August, 2007
you know how it is. we’ve all heard it many times : ya ya ya malaysia is going down the drain ya ya government stupid opposition stupid all also stupid ya ya cant wait to migrate ya ya when i graduate there’s no way i will come back to work here blablabla aiyah but then actually ah deep down inside ah i really love Malaysia wan. because we got damn good food and we invented Manglish! so, happy Merdeka everyone!!!!!!!!
what does it say about the state of Malaysia, that after 50 years of independence, the only good things about the country the average Malaysian can come up with are the food and a hodge podge language that our government isnt very proud of anyway? what does it say, that there’s not much else that contributes to the awesomeness of our country besides some kuih muih and the concept of 24-hour mamak stalls?
yeah all these party invitations. all these countdowns and flag-flying and Merdeka Jumps. it IS a 50 year anniversary after all; if you’ve not been patriotic ever in your life, now is the time to jump on the bandwagon and do it.
wave that flag as if there is nothing seriously wrong with our country.
paint the jalur gemilang on your cheeks as if you know and embrace how half of your fellow Malaysians are treated as second-class citizens by the other supposedly superior half who seem to have forgotten why they have their ’special rights’ in the first place.
blindly believe that there is fairness in this country, despite how politicans constantly play the Sacred Constitution card, but doggedly believe and announce to the world that Malaysia is an Islamic state, is not a secular state, and was never secular to even begin with.
knock back a celebratory beer for the sad state of our gagged and bound state-controlled mass media outlets who brainwash 27 million Malaysians each day. knock back another for the silencing of truth and the filtering of information by an insecure and cowardly government, who would rather the people be kept ignorant and in the dark, all in the name of PRESERVING PEACE.
make a toast to Malaysia while bearing in mind the likes of Lina Joy who was denied her fundamental freedom by our country’s judiciary, Makkal Osai the Tamil newspaper suspended for realpolitik reasons cleverly veiled by an all too convenient scapegoat, Revathi Masoosai who was seized by Islamic authorities and forced to eat beef (despite her Hindu beliefs) as part of a rehabilitation process to Islamize her.
write happy clappy Merdeka essays or paint Merdeka buntings for your school while paying tribute to this Fear we’ve been brought up to live with and accept; to scare-tactics brazenly and comfortably employed; to a lack of censure in government because the system cleverly insulates them from such 21st century democratic liberties; to draconian devices designed to effectively keep the ruling regime in power.
look up proudly at billboards displaying our 5 Prime Ministers’ faces, and blissfully ignore the fact that high crime levels still plague the streets of our country and corruption of all kinds is still rampant in all levels of our society, despite firm and loud-ringing promises during election season.
three claps to non transparency, another three to non existent check and balance!
clap yourself on the back for having elected to power politicians who froth at the mouth over a tongue-in-cheek Youtube video, citing disrespect of the national anthem and screaming for the videomaker’s blood when it is all really a strategized case of rallying and capitalizing on dormant racial tension. ignore the fact that these same politicians never applied the same standards of ‘incitement of racial hatred’ when certain parties called for the revoking of citizenship for those who opposed Malay rulers, as well as when a certain leader promised his race that he would soak his keris in Chinese blood.
valiantly declare that you’re proud of Malaysia and its 50 years of contemporary achievements; laud it for the substandard rote education it has given you, for the censored and biased version of your country’s history that you grew up thinking was the truth; for the Societies Act and the University & University College Act that slyly impose a glass ceiling on mental growth and freedom of expression among our students.
jump up and countdown the seconds to the dawn of a country where in time to come, the intelligent and capable will have flown the coop, bitter and eager to be appreciated elsewhere; where the ones who remain are complacent in their non-competitiveness and mediocrity, lazy in their elevated positions, obtuse and unchallenged in their ignorance.
and while you’re at it, why not hop on the Eye on Malaysia. invest some moolah in the PKFZ. take a drive down that dumb Smart Tunnel. eat a plate of nasi lemak, because you know, apparently it rights all the wrongs in our country.
as August 31st dawns upon us this Friday, i urge all of you to think carefully about why you’re celebrating this 50th anniversary, about why you love this country as much as you say you do, and about what Merdeka really means to you.
August 28th, 2007
really sleepy. but i dont want to sleep. cant sleep anyway. not even accidentally while just out of the shower and still wrapped in towel. kinda empty. craving cheese but there’s only instant noodles. craving company but there’s only skype. mini bottle of baileys is fast emptying; many swigs and now there’s a milky brown ring. on my table. cant avoid it, sticky elbows now. is this how people discovered that it’s impossible to lick their elbows?
take a hit of this stuff, he said, but i said no, what i really want is some peace and quiet and a nice woolly blanket. so leave me alone. but bring me a mug of milo first. i remember milo - not hot, but kosong ais and beside this trancey music cd he bought for 10 bucks. i remember milo - not kosong ais, but hot and with panadols he tried to force me to take. i remember milo - just the powder, but in between fresh slices of bread with the crusts cut off just the way i like it. i remember milo - the dog that is to be..?
today we talked about marriage in our old high school. on those black and orange chairs, we talked about big weddings and small weddings. guess which one mine is? it’s the one with the vanilla cake and the flowers and the happy smiling sunburnt cheeks with no makeup on. high heels that wont hurt my feet. groom that wont break my heart. father who wont make me choose. skies that dont rain. windfuls of bliss.
boy that sat on the swings with his backpack on the ground at his feet. i remember you. i jogged past you once. why arent you in school? you’re at the edge of the world. why were your glasses broken?
August 28th, 2007
friends are difficult things. there are so many conditions sometimes. i want to share with you guys a situation i have. right now in my core group of friends, we have a friend who for some reason or other doesnt like to spend time with us. when we call her out for drinks or movies or even for partying, we are rejected with naught but a flippant ‘no thanks’. and this is barely a new habit. i used to get really angry at this friend, not understanding why she chooses to snub us like that all the time, in addition to really scathing and downright insensitve remarks often flung our way.
i boycotted her for a while. didnt bother calling and didnt bother being nice. as it turns out, she didnt even realize that was happening - that’s how little she and i interact despite being supposed close friends. i told some of our friends about this, about how angry i was at her, but instead i was told not to backstab her. i was like, what the fuck? what is this pre-school ‘backstabbing’ shit you speak of? it’s just that as friends, you’re supposed to want to care about each other and to spend time together, right? not this friend though, who i think can sometimes truly believe that no one else but her has feelings, and can go on for months on end without bothering to contact us. and it’s not that she has other friends she prefers to see; most of the time she turns us down to hang out at home or because she wants to sleep early, for crying out loud.
anyway these people who said i was ‘backstabbing’ her eventually started getting pissed off at her as well. and suddenly, because i could see all this happening around me now, i saw how narrow minded i was being previously. as a friend, if someone chooses not to hang out with us, maybe the problem lies with us and not the individual? maybe we are such crummy friends that even the telly is better company. or maybe she was going through a low period where she just didnt feel social. did we think about that? no. all we could think about was how we felt when we were being turned down for drinks or a girls night out.
i remember having a conversation with her once about how our circle is rather annoying to hang out with. she brought up many points that i couldnt help but agree with. in the midst of my above revelation about how narrow minded i was previously being, i flashbacked to this conversation; suddenly i knew why she had so much distaste for hanging out with our bunch. but naturally we didnt see that when we were being pissed off at her; we only blamed her but did not bother to reflect on what sort of company we were providing.
i suppose what i’m trying to say is that this friend wasnt the only bad friend. we were being bad friends as well for congregating and complaining about her to each other, when what we should have been was understanding and inclusive all the way.
the focal point of disapproval has sort of shifted over the past few weeks. someone new in the circle is being complained about now for the same reason of always turning us down for selfish purposes. lest i be marked with the stupid accusation of ‘backstabbing’, i am choosing to keep silence this time around. but yet i’m still unsure who is wronger; the selfish person or the unaccomodating friends? it’s a little bit like the case where someone from the circle gets a new boyfriend and suddenly stops spending time with her friends, and all her friends get angry and stop including her in their plans. so who’s wrong - the girl who left her friends, or the friends who dont find it in themselves to love their friend unconditionally?
i was initially going to close comments for this post because it is really just a ramble, but now i want to hear your opinion on this topic. just say whatever. i want to hear it. maybe it will help me understand my situation with this friend a little bit better.
she once called me to say she missed me, and we talked about gucci bags and our plans for the future for a good hour or so. i think to date that is probably one of the conversations i’ve had that i cherish the most.
August 24th, 2007
there is no doubt about it - Gwen Stefani kicked ass last night at Stadium Putra. i exaggerate not when i say it is possibly the best concert i’ve ever been to in KL.
everything was great from start till finish. parking was easy peasy, and surprisingly we didnt have to queue for entrance. we’d originally planned to go a little bit later so we didnt have to sit through all the boring opening acts we had no interest in seeing anyway, but thankfully we didnt do that! BECAUSE! there were NO boring opening acts! no sponsor gimmicks! :O and best of all, there was no wait. it was so unbelievable but true - after a cute opening gambit of a cops-&-robbers chase, Gwen came onstage immediately at 9pm.
dressed in a b&w prison-striped suit and black leggings, she opened with none other than The Sweet Escape, which of course drove everyone wild. everyone leapt out of their overpriced arranged-seating seats and sang along, cameras a-flashing and hands a-flailing. hehe i couldnt contain my excitement either! then she did Rich Girl, after which she reappeared on stage clad in a cute apron outfit - complete with chef-hat - her first wardrobe change of many to come.
Gwen is an awesome live performer. she had so much energy and zest, and her vocals were always intact. i grew up listening to her voice in those obsolete but cherished No Doubt songs, so it was really nice and strangely nostalgic to hear and watch her live, performing all these new songs with her same unique voice. there were times during the concert when i closed my eyes, and it was like i was back in my primary school days listening to Don’t Speak on the radio :)
i really liked that she was so charming and charismatic and sweet to her fans. she interacted with us, blurted some random phrase in Malay before she sang Hollaback Girl (with reference to a placard at the bottom of the stage, haha), thanked us, gave us lots of love, and told us that Gavin Rossdale’s stepmother is Malaysian wtf. at one point during the show, she ran off the stage and around the arena, blowing kisses and slapping hands with overjoyed fans, and then sang Cool right from the bleachers in the midst of the 9000 fans in the stadium. it was awesome lah. i heard she’s been doing this throughout her tour, but i didnt expect that she would do it here, especially with the flimsiness of the barricades and the fact that certain parties have been giving her so much flak and even called for her concert to be canceled.
Gwen running around the arena
also, she gave her 4 Harajuku Girls, 4 male breakdancers and her band their own moments where she introduced them one by one to the crowd. how nice is that lah. i remember when i went to watch Oasis in bangkok, and they were just being such asses to the audience. Gwen Stefani, on the other hand, exudes such a genuine and comfortable vibe, and also recognises that the show is not just about her, but also about her team and her audience as well.
the band, the dancers and Gwen Stefani
the show lasted about 90 minutes, a good deal i think. oh and can i just say that the light engineering was AMAZING!! i think that any concert’s lighting is such a crucial part of the experience; it’s what provides the kick during the chorus climaxes and is what determines the vibe of the crowd. intuitive and varied lighting is so rare in concerts for some reason, so i was pretty pleased that last night’s was actually pretty damn good :) wish there had been a better backdrop though. there was nothing but black and white drapery and a wide-screen telly with random but relevant clips playing throughout the show.
Gwen said that Malaysia’s right up there among the best audiences. hahaha why tell such lies! if anything, the crowd was rather lacklustre last night. we could have been louder, stronger, more excited, but we just weren’t. collectively, we were noisy but reserved. we just held back from going all out and totally crazy. but that’s fine lah, this sorta culture takes time i suppose.
happy fan beside us
Gwen’s wardrobe was pretty cool - nothing too revealing but still sexy sexy sexy at the same time. take that, PAS and National Union of Malaysian Muslim Students -___-
because the theme is black and white Harajuku, i donned a schoolgirl outfit for the concert, haha. i seriously thought lots of people were going to be dressed up, because that was the case for HK and Singapore, but i was sorely disappointed :( also thought ginny was going to turn up in her b&w french maid costume but she didnt!!! wtf lah babe. think of all the camwhore moments we missed!
a few pictures :
with bernard and his pretty gf suet ling who had damn good seats!! better than the media & vip seats -___-
with azlan!
the girls from college
my schoolgirl outfit, haha!
so overall, an excellent concert :) eeeeeexcellent. here’s to hoping more concerts in Malaysia are organized like this one.
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August 22nd, 2007
it rained in the wee hours of the morning, and that’s usually the harbinger of worse than usual traffic during the rush to work. so when Toteman called to say he’d be a little late in coming to pick me, i had expected it and was serenely unannoyed over the fact that i would in turn be late as well. it was a perfectly nice morning, why waste it i thought, so i walked down the street to the neighbourhood mamak stall, stopping along the way to buy curry puffs for the boys and to artfully dodge imminent rain puddles.
usually there are a bunch of school children waiting for the bus, but not today because it’s a weeklong school holiday. i’ve noticed that no one ever talks to each other and everyone always looks bored. the boys always have their hair plastered down with water and combed back; the girls have really neat shoes and socks. i’m kinda glad to see that those ugly colourful schoolbags (as opposed to backpacks! ’schoolbags’ are in an entire league of their own) are actually still around; i thought they died out with my primary school days, but clearly they havent.
the first time i saw those fresh-looking schoolkids with bright eyes, i wondered at the back of my head if they had mobile phones and ipods in their pockets, seeing how society is getting richer these days and working parents more lavish with their guilty gifts. then i realized they probably didnt have those gadgets, because if they did, they’d probably have whipped them out and would be tinkering away with them while waiting for the bus. such are kids of the 21st century. i should know - as i sit here in the mamak writing this post, every single person around me is toying with their mobile phone or PDAs over their roti canai and hot milky drinks. even i cant resist making use of the wireless connection here. (but then again i never do try resisting anyway hehehe)
i’m drinking milo ais kosong which is like my default mamak drink. my shoes are dry and i’m wiggling my cotton-socked toes around in them comfortably. i do detest the feeling of sloshing around in wet shoes!
it’s so darn early in the morning. i’ve almost forgotten how good it feels to be up at this time of the day, having breakfast and reading the papers, not rushing anywhere. sigh deep down inside i believe i’m actually a morning person.
me with half a curry puff in my mouth. i am so ladylike it amazes even me sometimes.
is anyone going for gwen stefani? i’m just awaiting the day that certain quarters will learn to be mature about this anti-western performer concerts issue. there are more pressing matters to be addressed, dontcha think, instead of frothing at the mouth over a performer’s choice of stockings.
August 20th, 2007
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