Eh I Tell You Something Lah But You Dont Tell Anybody
August 16th, 2007
it’s really so very hard these days to find a good listener.
you know how it is - there’s the type who zones out whenever you’re talking and goes ‘huh what sorry?’ when you ask if they’re listening, then there’s the type who always turns your story around to be a story about themselves (’oh that reminds me of something that happened to ME last week.. blablablabla’), not to mention those who belittle your problems, or those who scold you about making mistakes when all you really want is just someone to listen to you rant.
i usually know when people are not interested in listening to my problems, so i dont tell them. and i also know not to talk to people who tend to get really aggressive or all i-told-you-so. simply put, i know when not to talk to bad listeners. but you know what’s the most deceiving of all - it’s the people who are really interested in what you have to say, give you good feedback, are sympathetic, and then fucking tell the entire world about it.
i hate it when i tell someone something in confidence, and then find out over the next week or so that the whole world has already heard about it. especially when these issues are delicate or really personal. i mean, do people have no respect for trust these days. when someone trusts you enough to disclose little secrets or big problems, you should know that these things are weighty and to keep it to yourself, right? but no, these juicy things spread like wildfire simply because there exists people who love to be the go-to for the latest gossip and information. they love it when they’re in this elevated position - oh you know, i’m closer to her than you are and that’s why i already know this and you dont! - and they fucking thrive on it for their selfish little purposes of feeling important and well-connected.
yknow if you actually care about this person you’re talking about, then okay yeah discuss the issue and come up with ways to help the person or whatever. but dont freely divulge these things to nosy and irrelevant people over your salad bowl during your bloody lunch hour, just so you can have something to talk about, or because you relish the feeling of dropping bombs and being able to elicit wide-eyed disbelieving looks from all around the room.
ESPECIALLY WHEN THE PERSON CONCERNED SAID, ‘DONT TELL ANYONE THIS’.
erhghghfgjfhgjdfhgjdfhgjdhgiudfgdfh.
and you know what’s worse, it’s when bloggers are involved. oh my GOD when bloggers are involved -____- seriously, it is taking this whole ‘blogosphere’ shit way too far when you start seeing it fit to tell other people things that you are not supposed to, simply because ‘we’re all bloggers wat’. yeah yeah community spirit and all, but subscribing to that does not mean you feel comfortable with every single person in that community, much less them knowing intimate details of issues that you’d rather only a select few knew about.
i’m just very pissed off at myself because i always make this mistake of being too open about my personal life, even to people i dont know that well. and even to friends whom i’ve known forever and are really close to but have a reputation of being the biggest gossipmongers ever, i tell them things anyway. and then i get pissed off when the stories get out. it’s like i never learn. i never never learn.
oh ya i wanted to say something earlier but i forgot. i think there is a loophole in the creation of universe - how can it be possible and allowable for people to put words into other people’s mouths, and then get away with it?? someone came up to me the other day and asked, eh i heard you dont like this guy A. and i was like WHAT? i’ve never even harboured a single mean thought about A! and she goes, ‘oh this girl B told me’. and i know for a fact that B herself doesnt like A. so you see what’s the case here - some bloody bimbo who wants to bitch about a person she doesnt like, but doesnt have the guts to say so and instead uses someone else as a channel to make her statements. stupid wan lah i dont understand why people like them are allowed to exist.
*fumes*
Entry Filed under: Rants
37 Comments Add your own
1. reallybites | August 16th, 2007 at 1:03 am
eh u very long never tell me things di!
and what you just wrote is so fucking true.i know some frens just cant keep their mouth shut coz they will pull the i tell u smth but dont tell anyone thingi and then goes on and tell me what friend A/B/C told them.
2. jane | August 16th, 2007 at 1:49 am
aww! i agree with you entirely! cheer up though! would a cup of hot chocolate make you feel better? or maybe some fresh baked brownies? =)
3. ashleighhhh | August 16th, 2007 at 1:54 am
ala kesian
4. thegeekinpink | August 16th, 2007 at 2:27 am
It’s like you said everything in one breath. I get all angry about all those people too from your rant. haha. :)
5. melvin | August 16th, 2007 at 2:28 am
chill n be patient :) still, nice to meet u during the summit. oh btw, maybe next time they shud invite anwar ibrahim or raja petra to speak. on another note, there is a saying which goes ‘A secret known by a person is a secret but a secret known by two people is not a secret anymore’.
6. kennysia | August 16th, 2007 at 3:34 am
WAH!
War! War! War!
*hugs* dun angry. :)
7. hanna | August 16th, 2007 at 4:04 am
guess what i just heard on the radio? 83% of women, when you tell them something that’s supposed to be a secret, will go and tell their significant other.
not that that had anything to do with your rant here. but y’know, maybe everyone, when they tell their girlfriends anything, should just be like HI CAN YOU NOT TELL YOUR BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND/HUSBAND THIS PLEASE KTHX.
;)
8. Jonathan | August 16th, 2007 at 4:48 am
Finding a good listener can be a detriment word to use, rather finding someone that can understand you, would be the best suit for this situation…i don’t know how this works in practical, but because i’ve always been on the listening end,i don’t really experience how it feels when i am the one talking and the other end listening (got lar, sometimes, but not often).
Chill lar, if you think ur girlfriends or even boyfriends to a certain extend can’t be a good listener, than keep going on the list, i’m sure you can find someone…veli veli sure
9. Michelle | August 16th, 2007 at 5:39 am
I was never that kind of person who goes hoo hah over someone’s secret..
So you can tell me……. LOL!
10. Wan Siong | August 16th, 2007 at 7:13 am
Oh, that reminds me of something that happened to…..
Ah~
Nevermind..
=P
Sometimes i do find people who thinks that they wish to keep some secret to themselves, but then suddenly decides to blog about it, thinking that no one would ever read or know about it.
Can be very wrong..
And i mean very very wrong…
—_____—”"
11. Michael | August 16th, 2007 at 7:28 am
some ppl just cant keep the secrets u entrusted to them. worst of all, they usually “spiced up” the little secret and make it more interesting to others. like when you say i kinda like this girl, the version u know next day would be like “wow, he dies for this girl etc etc (and maybe plus some made up crap love story)”. Share ur secret with ur pillow or teddybear next time huh.
12. naz | August 16th, 2007 at 9:51 am
eh ah pau,
whatever happened to ‘i want to blog about - we all should go out and register and vote the opposition party in the next election?’
or
‘girls playing dumb to get men should be hanged upside down?’
ok, the last one i made up but i know u want to. *wink*wink*
13. smashpOp | August 16th, 2007 at 11:40 am
seriously… after reading your post… i realised that i am actually not the only one with these kinda problems.
currently something is happening around me.. something like ur last paragraph.
would be nice if we can talk about it on msn.. but ur not in my list. hmm
14. heartless-usagi | August 16th, 2007 at 11:49 am
i told u so!!!…is what i wanted to say but i never did XD
huhu i know how u feel.some people =.=’ i always wonder,didnt they ever thought that it could be backfired?like u told them x to tell any1 but then told the entire universe about it,and 1 day,when they have problem n told u to just keep it to urself,didnt they ever wonder how it would feel like if u do what they did to u before?
“treat others like u wanna be treated.”
how come they never registered this in their brains? =.=
anyways,love ur blog XD
15. gaelan | August 16th, 2007 at 2:51 pm
omg i think you just listed every possible scenario that could have happened in this secret-telling business.
anyway i guess we’re all guilty about some of those stuff in a way, and it has really made me kinda reflect on such issues. at least you got a good listening ear from martian right? (assumption)
16. ArtificiallyTimtam | August 16th, 2007 at 3:47 pm
you see that’s why we chocolate biskut types don’t talk much and just bathe ourselves in a bath of chocolatte. then when people eat us it makes them feel better and our job is done.
17. sheon | August 16th, 2007 at 5:39 pm
good listeners are indeed very hard to come by. i have had my share of bad experience with cases of leaked secrets. over the years, i learned what to share, and what not to share.
but for my part, i’d honor my word to keep a secret if it is a secret secret ……
18. Jun | August 16th, 2007 at 5:42 pm
u know wat’s scarier? is tht even though u keep mum and stay low-key, ppl will STILL find things to talk about u. wtf??!
19. Karyn | August 16th, 2007 at 6:34 pm
Lots of people in this world are like that. I learnt it the hard way, so now I only tell people what I don’t mind the whole world knowing.
It’s kinda hard la, sometimes slip of tongue and all that, and that are people whom you can trust to tell, but they accidentally mention it in front of another of their close friend or two, and so on! =(
20. pinkpau | August 16th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
reallybites : ya havent been on msn much lately =( about your friends who say that stuff, they trust u mah.
jane : right now some coffee would be great O_O
ashleighhh : memangs
thegeekinpink : i love it when people commiserate with me :P
melvin : i would love it if they had anwar come speak
kennysia : im trying not to :(
hanna : hey i heard that too, on jay leno! but he went like “83% of women tell their spouses / boyfriends when you tell them a secret.. but the good news is 100% of the men arent listening anyway.” ahahahaha
jonathan : i think im quite lucky to have a handful of people i can turn to who are both good listeners and understand me well :) i hope u find urs too. sometimes all we really need is one person
michelle : do u promise never to blab anything!
wan siong : maybe last time lah, but i believe bloggers nowadays dont do that anymore :) as in post something and then act all shocked when people find out
michael : sigh yeah i know what u mean. unfortunately thats one of the things in this world thats out of our control
naz : dowan lah malas already!!
smashpop : aww sorry to hear that :( catch u on gtalk soon
heartless usagi : haha how can u be a heartless rabbit! rabbits are so cute. and yeah some people just take friendships for granted i suppose.
gaelan : looking around me, i dont think there are many people who are like that? i can name about like 5 and thats it. and i know to steer clear of people like them when it comes to the juicy gossip. and martian is a total eavesdropper!!!!!
artificially : ur my kind of person. eh faster call lah im still waiting for ur steak question
sheon : how about when people dont ask u to keep it secret, but u know it’s a delicate issue? do u keep quiet then?
jun : such is human nature i suppose. gotta cover all bases eh
karyn : nooo u know whats the hard part. like when someone u like as a friend asks u a question about something, and then u dont know if you should answer? coz it’s not like u dont trust the person or anything, just that it’s a sensitive issue. i get that problem all the time, then i feel guilty for withholding information =(
21. stranger | August 16th, 2007 at 7:55 pm
talk to strangers who are good listeners.
What?! Tthe rational here is that they do not know your circle of friends, and vice versa! Happy-happy! ;-)
22. foreverjas | August 16th, 2007 at 8:38 pm
haiz. there are so many Btches out there. hate it.mean girls. nasty nasty.
23. songjun | August 16th, 2007 at 8:48 pm
tell me la! im ur best secret keeper! hhaha
*chucks tennis balls at u
24. foreverjas | August 16th, 2007 at 10:36 pm
no matter what people say, i will always support u pink pau!!!
25. Carmen. | August 17th, 2007 at 12:22 am
You got me thinking. -_- It sucks when that happens.
Now, I wish I was a man. At least I don`t need to express my feelings.[ Do they? ] Plus, men don`t gossip. Only women. Sigh.
26. reallybites | August 17th, 2007 at 12:51 am
but it would mean they do that to me too ie; pull the i tell u smth but bla bla on fren A/B/C and proceed to tell them(A/B/C) what I told them.
and that is why i hardly tell them things anymore.
27. Michelle | August 17th, 2007 at 5:38 am
Usually, I don’t blab about people’s secret. I tend to blab about mine…. I don’t know why……….
28. sheon | August 17th, 2007 at 8:52 am
delicate issues? if i seek my friends’ comment, then i will js tell them the situation and omit all hints that would help them figure out who are involved. my usual buddies are actually very considerate when it comes to these kinda things one lar…….not the gossipy type.
29. airzoom79 | August 17th, 2007 at 2:38 pm
a good listener is always a dog… get a dog as ur pet & u’ll knw wat i mean…
30. Karyn | August 17th, 2007 at 4:26 pm
Oh okay I get it now. I know it feels bad to withhold info, however it’s better than the alternative. But still =(
31. Lalita | August 17th, 2007 at 8:30 pm
Su Ann, don’t be so hard on yourself. What it is is probably that you yourself would not repeat another person’s secrets and so expect the same courtesy from others. As for learning, aiyah, we all repeat the same mistakes sometimes. I have the same issue - I never learn after being burnt badly - still open my mouth when I shouldn’t tell people who will repeat things to others. Once bitten twice shy does not always apply, eh? We’ve all been there, girl!
32. Lalita | August 17th, 2007 at 8:34 pm
PS - We will try harder next time to well and truly learn our lesson with trusting people who should NOT be trusted. You poor girl!!! I recently had a similar problem - very UNPLEASANT la!!!
33. Charlie | August 17th, 2007 at 9:19 pm
Man, that’s just fecking terrible. : | It’s so hard to accept the fact that there are actually gabby dipshits out there who are so utilitarian that they’d turn other people’s secrets into some kind of attention-whoring tool..
I hope whoever did this to you trips on something and dies. What a goddamn unforgivable act of perfidy.
And yes it really SUCKS when people use your name to bitch about other people. If you want to be a backstabbing idiot at least be brave enough to bear the full brunt of the responsibility! (Nvm don’t worry. Even though they’re allowed to exist because God is too nice sometimes these people usually get beaten up and thrown in a ditch before their 30th birthday.. : P)
34. hitomi | August 17th, 2007 at 11:05 pm
as you said, you never learn but you should…
well..maybe you need some one who really trustable..
35. Michael | August 18th, 2007 at 1:09 am
some ppl tell made up own secrets for extra publicity~yahoo~ now u know why some secret-blowing person gets their place anyway~
36. Porcupine | August 20th, 2007 at 6:48 pm
hi pinkpau!!!
been a long time since I left a comment… compliments to the ever efficient technicians who never seem to remember to put the internet filter to “OFF”…
for this ranting of yours, I seriously feel you…
only one solution to this…
tell your problems to a member of the opposite sex…
somehow the secret is safer there… don ask me why… it just does
37. SzeWei | August 22nd, 2007 at 9:28 am
I remember being a really bad listener, until I literally encountered one and stopped being like that. KARMA
That’s why men are smart enough to go to pubs and talk to stranger guys who are half-drunk and they literally forget almost everything. Cuz they were half-drunk.
Good listeners are good learners.
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