Frightful

September 13th, 2007

i was lying down in this random salon in Bangsar, head tilted back and getting my eyebrows threaded. the lady doing my eyebrows had her hands all over my face, and normally that’s alright, but this one! this one! the horrid smell of her lunchtime chicken curry was unmistakable on her fingers, bits of her meal still stuck under her fingernails, as she played some kind of grotesque piano on my face - pressing here, tugging there, massaging rot into my face. she was oblivious to my gagging and choking, and i realized i’d not been this disgusted in a very long time. get your hands out of my face, i wanted to shriek; for gods sake, what beautician eats with their hands and then not wash them after lunch? when it was finally over, the longest 8 minutes of my life, i ran out of the salon and vomitted into a drain.

squatting there on the sidewalk wiping my mouth, i realized with some degree of misery that there are ugly things in the world after all. things like men leering lecherously at young girls from behind the wheel as their wives yak on and on in the passenger seat, things like people who only talk to you when they want something. things like mouldy bread.

the Auditor General’s report was released a couple of days ago, and i’m sure all of you are as angry as i am. once again, ugly things in the world. ‘Ministers to explain’, the headlines say; but we’re tired of lame excuses. every year the same thing happens, and every year it goes unrectified. the government gets away with it because they cleverly ensure that they go unpoliced and therefore unpunished.. but we, the people, can be their police. we can be their check and balance. if you dont like how billions and billions of your money is being misused by your very own government ministries, please for gods sake, stand up and do something about it during the upcoming elections.

the other day i bumped into someone that i harbour a lot of disdain for. i told myself that i absolutely refuse to be nice to her this time around. her sort of character is one of those ugly things in the world i’m talking about - rude, jealous, insecure and reeking of selfishness - and i make it no secret that i want nothing more to do with her. but then i realized, why am i spending all this time being angry at her? anger is an ugly thing in this world too. why taint life anymore than it has already been tainted?

sigh. you know what’s another ugly thing? it is the lack of sleep paired with a lot of crying. last night was one of those nights for me. i showed up at work today looking like death and having absolutely no mood to do shit. but then i finished up early and went home for a badly-needed 2-hour nap. and that 2 hours of pure sleep felt like the most glorious, wonderful thing in the world.

Entry Filed under: Musings

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