Displacement

these days i am like one of those trains in a math word problem - first i’m traveling 50 miles west and then i’m traveling 20 miles north and then 40 miles west and then 2 miles backwards and then 15 miles south and then how many miles is the displacement between me and the point of origin? all i know is that i am somewhere completely unintended and that there’s no proper plumbing here and it’s nightfall and there are bound to be werewolves lurking around.

i’ve been vacillating between periods of utter stress and some kind of quiet contentment. these days i’m just unbearable to be around because i’m so highly-strung and fidgety. but then i’m sent these things from heaven that remind me to calm down and that there is so much more to life than my narrow perception of what’s supposedly important. like today, i had to go to college to sort out some last-minute trauma in my applications and i was really just near tears from all the stress.. but then Miss Alice came out of her office and gave me a Peanut Butter Cup. a peanut butter cup!!!! it was such a lovely and unexpected gesture. she said she saw my blog and read that i love these pb cups, so she gave me one. thank you Miss Alice :) you really made my day so much better.

other heaven-sent things that gave me encouragement over the past few days and taught me to sit back and smile :

upon telling him i was stressed -
jeremy says:
i would kill to be in your shoes

upon checking my Friendster page after a long time of leaving it idle, i saw this testimonial from a former collegemate whom i barely spoke to -
Posted 11/24/2007 2:31 am
being on the other side of the world, fully qualified on the m-16, and an expert at hand to hand combat….. i think its safe to say now i always thought you were pretty

and upon checking my email -
Dear Su Ann,
Yes, this is fine. We will want a record, but you can apply as a first year.

and then Martian MMSed me a picture of himself at work <3 the best pick-me-up ever <3 my boyfriend is so yummy.

i know i keep saying this but. i'm just very thankful for all my friends who love me and accept me for who i am and always forgive me for my mistakes. i was talking to a few of my friends some days ago about this girl we know who's got a serious attitude problem. mid-rant, ben interrupted and said - ’she has no friends wan’. for some reason, that made me feel really uncomfortable. probably because what he said is true - she really doesn’t have any friends. and then i felt really bad that we were sitting there and complaining about what a horrid person she is. cos at the end of the day, we all have each other, and we can all group together and be allied against anything.. but who does she have? nobody.

seriously, i cannot imagine a life without having anybody to turn to. nobody to laugh with, nobody to back you up, nobody who understands you, nobody who would listen to you, nobody sincere - the thought of this vacuum is so scary that my stomach churns just thinking about it. i have so many people whom i love and who love me back, and i think i don’t spend enough time being grateful that i am not alone in this world.

donno lah i am so emo now i want to call all my friends and tell them how much i love them =((

i guess the point is, i could be a little bit more sympathetic towards the girl we were talking about. it’s a chicken and egg thing.. does she have no friends because she’s so unlikeable, or is she unlikeable because she has no friends? if it’s the latter, then i am to blame as well, no? and how horrible it must be to have nobody. Martian recently said the same thing about another unrelated person - that she had no friends and so i could be a bit more understanding about the situation.. and it was something that really hit home. if i were in the other person’s shoes and had no friends, i’m sure a little bit of warmth from an almost-stranger would be so very welcome.

sigh okay lah i promise to be super nice to these two girls if i ever see them again. like, SUPER NICE. even if they’re mean and rude to me again.

yay kevin is coming to pick me up from starbucks. kevin, when you read this, you must know that i lurve you to bits and that you are one of my best friends in the whole wide world. even though you forgot to bring me my present yesterday and even though you hang out with jeremy and eric more than you hang out with me :(

on another note, today i saw a really awesome quote on my college’s Program Director’s desk -

“Those who say it can’t be done shouldn’t interrupt the people who are doing it.”

:))))

that is so ME right now. i feel like wearing that quote on my forehead. full speed ahead!!!!

and this is me squealing : “ALBERT LOOK!!! the umbrella matches my socks!!!!”

Comments December 19th, 2007