Mugs of Motivation

okay let me tell you what the situation is like.

i cant do my essays at home because my brothers are damn noisy / my dad smokes and clouds up the whole living room / my mom keeps turning off the lights when i’m doing work cos she says electricity bill very expensive -___- / my bed is very tempting.

so that means i have to go out and write BUT! i need to have my laptop with me and it’s hard to find a place that has wifi + plug points + is quiet + has coffee + has a bathroom (so that people wont run off with my laptop while i go to a far far far far away bathroom).

so the best bet is starbucks bangsar BUT! it’s hell to go there what with the traffic, and cab fares are going to be the death of me. and starbucks can be soooooooo expensive when you realize you’re spending every day of the week there.

AND starbucks eventually closes =(

factor in that everyone is back for the winter holidays and are guilt-tripping me into spending friend-time with them. and then Martian is coming back tomorrow for a 10-day stretch. and i want to do christmassy stuff =(

and i have about a week to my deadlines. otherwise i will never go to college.

*KILLS SELF*

so i asked Voon to teach me how to focus, and you know what he said? he told me to pretend i was Morphling -_____- wtf. in his words:

Voonkiat says:
u see morphling switches from agi to str
or str to agi
so u can switch your modes to serious mode and fool around mode

Voonkiat says:
so i thought, if i could play dota all day. i could study all day too :)

i started laughing like crazy when i read that. but then i gave it some thought, and realized how AWESOMELY TRUE it is. that’s it!!! that’s the answer!!! it’s so freaking simple!!! there is NO WAY you can sit around procrastinating after it’s put into perspective like that. sigh Voon is so wise. and then he said:

Voonkiat says:
but everyone is kinda different
u need to find your motivation (which is pretty hard)

yesssssss :) that’s what i’ve been forgetting to do. you know how there are always different ways of doing things - like say if your task is to write an essay, some people would think the key is to read as many sample essays as possible to get a good ‘feel’ of what is required. then some would think that you need to come up with a really great gimmick at the start. then some would think that it’s all about the big words. there’s no right or wrong approach - they’re all simply different methods to get to the same end.

my task is coming up with some really kick-ass essays before the deadline. i’ve been trying to achieve this by fixing my focus on THE END : churning out 10 essays before the 31st of December. i’ve been keeping my eyes set on the deadline and pushing myself to my limits, not sleeping right, not eating right, not having a life outside of Starbucks where i write all my essays. determination is the key, i thought.

but after talking to Voon, i realized that my focus has been wrong all this while. i suppose anyone who knows me well would know that i get stressed out very easily, and that when i get stressed i have this tendency to turn avoidant and drop everything. so for someone like me, being so utterly fixated on producing results is NOT the best way because i only end up scaring and discouraging myself. what i need, and i have just realized this, is that i need to stimulate and inspire myself with what motivates me :)

so what motivates me? i can name a few. and i’m going to write em here in this post so that i can come back and revisit it whenever i need to GET WORK DONE :)

my biggest motivation is competition. i get excited when i know that other people are competing with me for the same prize. i love the fact that we are all capable people with our own individual skill sets and talents and modus operandi, and that we are all sharp and keen enough to want the good stuff. i love a good challenge, i really do - it brings out the best in me and completely eliminates any complacence or laziness that i have. it makes me want to improve myself and be as good as or better than my peers. if i want what so many other talented people want, i’d better make damn sure i’m better than them :) otherwise i only have myself to blame when i dont get it.

encouragement also motivates me. i’m the sort who gets very very sidetracked by discouragement or harsh criticism - i start feeling really shitty about myself and then i start questioning if i’m giving myself too much credit for thinking i was good enough to pursue this something. in many ways i admire people who can tackle discouragement and use it as a tool to motivate themselves. sometimes i do stand up to my detractors and say ‘NO, if you say i cant do it, i will prove you wrong‘ .. but even though that usually ends up in success, it just doesn’t feel good. i dont know why. what feels good though, is when people believe in me enough, and then i started believing in myself too, and then i eventually win what i set out to win. that is the best feeling because of all the positivity and encouragement that surrounds the success. and i am very, very lucky because i have a lot of encouraging people in my life. the ones who aren’t, are realistic, and sometimes a good dose of reality can be a good thing too.

knowing that people are counting on me gets me going as well. or put another way, knowing that other people will be disappointed if i fail, gets me going. because this is something that’s beyond just me, and it involves other people, and it wouldn’t be right if they trusted me and i screwed things up for them. this is what i remind myself of all the time when i feel like giving up on big events or team projects. and it always works :) the shitty part is when you’re doing something for YOURSELF and you cant use this motivation. hahaha but then that is where Aira comes in handy… she has this *way* of talking to you that makes you feel like she’s part of your efforts and that she’s somehow invested in you. there was one time i didn’t want to turn up for an exam because i didn’t feel prepared, and i called her to tell her that, and she went - ‘look, if you don’t come, i would be very very upset.’ i got scared and ended up going. hahaha. and i got an A. hahaha. i love you Aira!!!

and most importantly.. what motivates me is knowing that what i’m doing is important. to me. and to other people. it becomes this larger-than-life reason that convinces me that i’m doing something meaningful and that i’m not wasting my time and effort. and when i truly believe in what i’m setting out to achieve, i will stop at nothing. it helps when other people believe in what i believe in too - then i dont feel like my battle is self-important or futile or unrealistic.

milo also motivates me :) hot milo, cold milo, milo on bread, milo ice cubes, milo ice cream… milo anything.

okay i feel very motivated now :)))))) time to churn out another essay. go, me!!

if you guys have the time, do leave a comment saying what motivates you. come on lah, good things in life must share okay!

51 comments December 21st, 2007