Home and Away
February 11th, 2008
i’m blogging from home right now. it feels good to be back even if for just a little while – the whole of last week was spent staying with Martian now that he’s back in KL for a bit. i came back home earlier this afternoon to grab some stuff i’d forgotten to take with me; tonight, it’s back to the hotel again.
i like the fresh hotel towels and the never-ending supply of soft tissue. the pool and deck chairs. the ROOM SERVICE MENU! the neat room that greets me when i return, and all of my loose change stacked up nicely on the desk in ascending denomination. i like all of those things. and i love driving into the hotel carpark with Martian after dinner, both of us chattering away or quiet from sleepiness (or sulkiness.. hahaha that would be me). i love kissing him in the elevator on the way up to the room. i love going to bed with him; i love how he comes up to hug me while i’m brushing my teeth. i especially love going out for supper with him anytime i wish. i love the way he holds my hand as we fall asleep, and i even love how i have to carefully sneak away from him to go online. i love crawling back into bed with him and being welcomed back with sleepy kisses. these things and more make me give up my home for a bit.
but despite all that, i’m always missing home at the back of my head. i miss the newspaper, i miss my familiar pillows, i miss my internet connection that doesn’t cost RM 60 for 24 hours, i miss the bottle of cold water that’s always in the fridge. then i miss channel surfing on Astro, and my parents, and the sounds of my brothers playing Dota. i miss the random fruits my mom brings home. i miss my desk, the best place on earth to do work – second only to the table next to the glass panel at Starbucks Bangsar. and i always feel bad when my dad tells me that i should be spending more time at home. it’s even worse when i’m away with Martian in Singapore for long stretches of time, and more so back then when he was in Hong Kong.
but waking up to his kisses is the best part. it’s something that i find so hard to give up. i think about the few months that i have left before i leave (IF i’m accepted by any schools..) and i wonder if i’m spending it right. am i dividing my time equally? am i seeing enough of my family and friends? what do i make of my remaining months left with Martian? do we take big plunges now or do we play it by ear?
as i write this now (the continued version!), i’m already back in the hotel and it’s 4 in the morning. i am really quite hungry and i am contemplating calling for room service. this hotel has a delectable menu, and the buttermilk pancakes on page 2 are just calling my name. le sigh. back home, if i were hungry at this hour i’d be having delicious chicken-flavoured instant noodles, or rice with side dishes leftover from dinner. back home, my brothers would be awake and we’d have each other’s silent company.
but here and now, i have my boyfriend. every now and then i crawl back into bed and kiss him, then i come back to the computer. i love the fact that i have him here with me now, and that if i miss him, i can just reach over and touch him. it’s not like that when we’re apart – me here and him there. the nights are the hardest because that’s when i’m awake and he’s sleeping.. and so i look forward to 7am when he calls me on his way to work. then later at night, we have our long phone calls at 9pm.
but now that he’s here, it’s like i have infinite 7ams and 9pms. it’s like i have infinite Skype credit and a webcam with a view range that extends to every possible inch of his existence. i feel like i’m so spoilt by the very fact that he’s here.. and as i sit here writing this, i’m wondering to myself why the hell am i sitting here blogging when i can be in bed being held and kissed by him?
i love him so much that sometimes i just .. dont know what to do.
i’m not known to be very optimistic. right now, in my head, i’m just very convinced about certain negativities… but the truth, the good truth, reveals itself to me in the most unexpected and loveliest of ways. and it is this that i am most grateful for. it is what gives me hope. it is what reassures me that the sacrifices we make are not futile. i hold the keywords close to my heart.
teehee :)
a very tired me, picture taken 2 minutes ago
i’m still wondering if i should call room service…
Entry Filed under: Martianisms, Musings
52 Comments Add your own
1. charlenediane | February 11th, 2008 at 7:19 pm
oh su ann you are so funny when you write – a good kind of funny :) i enjoy reading your heart warming tales with martian. all the best. blog ke anak cucu cicit ok :)
2. bubblegum | February 11th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
hate how hotels overcharge us for internet connection! heheh.
it shud be free!!! :)
3. nyrac | February 11th, 2008 at 7:32 pm
yea… semoga sampai anak cucu cicit. hehe. you’ll be the most popular granny blogger =p alright, will stay tuned for your next words ^^
4. wan siong | February 11th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
Ish.. So potong stim lah.. I never knew a half written post can be made into a post with suspense. wtf. Haha..
5. chm | February 11th, 2008 at 9:58 pm
dun worry lar pau… if the uni’s dun accept u den its their loss n dey would haf nuts as their admission personnel
6. Michelle | February 11th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
Haha, I updated today too. I just came back from Ipoh. Wish me luck for tomorrow.
Michelle is flying!!!!!!
7. reallybites | February 11th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
i think hor…
….to be continued. shall continue my komen when you update ur post. hee
8. Fu Han Liang | February 11th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
What?!?!? IF can get into schools?
If you can’t get in, I doubt I can too. And I applied to like… so many more schools than you.
9. HK | February 11th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
what a sweet life. sigh, i wish mine was closer to that.
10. Porcupine | February 12th, 2008 at 12:26 am
Simple, yet intriguing…
Hahaha… Only you can pull off an post finished halfway and have the readers stuck in suspense…
11. x | February 12th, 2008 at 2:40 am
i know exactly where you’re coming from. it doesn’t get better once you’ve left home though. coming back for the holidays is amazing i personally look forward to it so much, but once back on home soil, i get bombarded with guilty feelings of not being able to spend enough time with my family, friends, it all gets a bit much sometimes. that said, just enjoy what you’ve got now with your boyfriend and your parents and brothers and make the most of it, take it from someone who’s speaking from personal experience
12. pinkpau | February 12th, 2008 at 5:05 am
charlene diane : haha thank you so much :D i hope you enjoy reading them as much as i do writing them.
bubblegum : i totally agree
nyrac : granny blogger.. haha. that day i was telling martian that i want to be a cool grandma when i’m older. and he said that i could bank on being the only blogging grandma around… wtf! haha actually i wouldnt mind that .. but i think by that time, blogging would be obsolete already
wan siong : nah updated already!
chm : sniff :( thank you that is very comforting :(
michelle : *hugs* all the best, girl :) have the time of your life in melbourne. dont forget to update us via your blog!!
reallybites : har ok i update oredi! your comment now pls!
fu han liang : dont be humble!
hk : your turn will come soon :)
porcupine : hehehe *blush!
x : that’s what my loved ones tell me too :) my boyfriend thinks i shouldnt spend what little time i have left worrying about things i cannot change. sigh. thank you for your comment :) it was strangely comforting to me.
13. sheon | February 12th, 2008 at 8:11 am
damn!! did you call room service of not?!?! the suspense………. :X
i’d never enough time to spend at home……for the past 10 years… sigh……..
i agree with X………………….. :)
14. iamthewitch | February 12th, 2008 at 8:30 am
Very heart warming indeed! You know if you keep writing posts like this about Martian you will make many girls jealous! ;)
15. reallybites | February 12th, 2008 at 10:02 am
i forgot what i wanted to say di heh
16. Prakash | February 12th, 2008 at 10:08 am
i wish i was on holiday now and call the room service to give me a large serving of chocolate ice cream and strawberry covered waffles with loads of maple syrup and whipped cream…YUMMY !
17. sheon | February 12th, 2008 at 10:11 am
Pinky….yeah….it just hit me….you must go try the cherry blossom ice cream at the japanese restaurant of hyatt saujana……. (that is if you havent tried it before lar…)
18. skyler | February 12th, 2008 at 11:06 am
Why you make me jeles
19. pinkshirtz | February 12th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
haha … going to hanoi, halong bay, sapa .. will be an amazing race there with 4 other buddies back packing around. Bwahah .. another chance to get a months worth of diarrhoea!
20. pinkshirtz | February 12th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
oh ya .. and congrats on making it to be the best blog for this month at nuffnang .. its good to know! bwahaha!! a new year gift perhaps!
21. Eley | February 12th, 2008 at 12:39 pm
martian n u are just so sweet! now i’m missing mine even more. sigh.
PS : pinkshirtz, make sure kajen updates his blog aft the trip!!! :D
22. ront | February 12th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
i’d side family more……that is until you make the bf part of the family….
23. nyrac | February 12th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
this just made my day =)
24. wenqi | February 12th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
awwwwwwwww…. so sweetttttt
25. lizzie | February 12th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
hmm random question but… how tall are u?
26. Nicholas Chhan | February 12th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Aww… that was so schweet! How wonderful it is to be deeply in love, and to have so much to go back to. You sure have alot to live for. Stay optimistic, unjaded.
27. Nicholas Chhan | February 12th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
This was very well articulately expressed: “it’s like i have infinite 7ams and 9pms.”
Funny how from simple things, the best things begin.
28. abby | February 12th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
i blogged abt pinkpau as one of my face bloggers ;) actually my fave. CHECK ME OUT n comment or i will very sad. :(
nvm lah if cant. haha
anywayyyss happy cny su ann! rock oN!
29. elizabeth | February 12th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
nice! what hotel is this?
30. Heay | February 12th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
This entry makes me cry! =( I miss my bf so much now. How I wish I can hug him tight now. sob sob…
31. foreverjas | February 12th, 2008 at 11:57 pm
aww. so sweet. =) u go girl! i love waking up in the middle of the night with my bf bside and stare at him sleeping. haha. fun rite! and kiss him. i n my bf owez sneak out to hotel after our exams. relax =) my parents didnt know . shh.
32. Kevin Chan | February 13th, 2008 at 1:27 am
Nah, when you keep writing posts like this, you make us guys jealous. Every guy wants a girl who really loves him, and it just shows that you really do. What would I do for a girl like that?
33. Cameron | February 13th, 2008 at 2:32 am
Makes me wonder, why I cannot find a love like that. Oh but then again, I guess it’s my fault. Still, can be envious! Lucky girl!
34. KY | February 13th, 2008 at 9:25 am
Call room service, eating is good!
35. beebee | February 13th, 2008 at 11:10 am
I have a bf and like you i love him to bits. i heart him till sometimes i’m just overwhelmed with total and utter happiness just thinking about him.
Sad thing is. he’s leaving to the Uk this August and i dread it so much. I feel for u when u talk abt your 7am’s and ur 9pm’s. Kinda sad isnt it. I have no clue on how to do LDR. Help!!. LOL
Anyway. i really enjoy reading your blog. =) Kudos to u!
36. Carolyn | February 13th, 2008 at 11:28 am
thats so sweeeeeeeeeeeet =D
u write such sweet things yet it doesnt feel any cheesy at all….hehehe
37. mIcheLLe | February 13th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
nice post!! i
38. pinkpau | February 13th, 2008 at 2:05 pm
sheon : i did i did .. i ordered ice cream. hahaha
iamthewitch : hahaha there is only one Martian in this world after all :))
reallybites : yer.. trickster..
prakash : they have that in this hotel !!! but it’s blueberries instead of strawberries
sheon : no i havent been there! okok that’s going on my to-do list :D
skyler : awwww :( *huggles
pinkshirtz : ooh hanoi is lovely :) have good fun ok? i didnt enjoy halong bay very much, but sapa definitely a must see. eh that featured blogger thing doesnt mean you have the best blog of the month la :) there’s no judging criteria wan. they just pick u.
eley : sigh sorry :( i know how hard it is to miss your other person.
ront : HAHA you sound like my dad
nyrac : har why?
wenqi : not as sweet as you-know-who :P i told Martian abt what he did for you. haha and he is also very happy for you. heehee
lizzie : 5′4
nicholas : staying optimistic is proving to be quite difficult :) and hey i know that line.. it’s from a duet song about meeting over coffee
abby : haha thank you so much! i’ll go comment now ;)
elizabeth : if i told you, i’d have to kill you … ;)
heay : sorry :(((( dont be emo!!
foreverjas : you sneak out to hotels to relax?!! hahaha so funny wan!?!?
kevin : you’ll find your The One soon :)
cameron : now why would it be your fault! refer to my reply to kevin up there .. :)
ky : i did !! i ordered cookies and cream ice cream!
beebee : ahh then we will be in the same boat soon. if i go to america, the time difference is going to affect us. i’ve been lucky so far because both the countries he’s been in are in the same timezone as KL. sigh. but my boyfriend always tells me to make the best of the time we have now, so that there are no regrets. its good advice, and im passing it on to you :)
carolyn : haha glad to hear that !
michelle : you what? :P
39. tia | February 13th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
its so nice to see you’ll together. =) all the best.
40. nyrac | February 13th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
made my day to see someone else happy, especially if it’s my fav blogger who puts it into such beautiful words and makes a lot others happy ^^
41. missycheerio | February 13th, 2008 at 7:54 pm
hey girl.
happy valentines day in advance & have a blast.
cheers!
42. LJY | February 13th, 2008 at 8:01 pm
:)
~You make me smile, please stay for a while now~
This post really makes Bubbly comes to mind.
43. Michael | February 13th, 2008 at 9:05 pm
happy v day~~
44. ront | February 13th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
i take that as a compliment lah……with the thought that maybe i have some of your dad’s wisdom….hehehe
45. wenqi | February 14th, 2008 at 11:15 am
hahaha.. but ur martian is still sweet.
and happy v-day!
use the candle i got u for xmas tonite ok?
and remember the rules wtf.
46. passerby | February 14th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Ur hair looks nice! did u straighten it?
47. foreverjas | February 15th, 2008 at 12:02 am
happy v day! haha. my parents stil thinks i’m 13 and dun allow me to have a bf. sigh. sad case lah. after exams i’l tell them i’m sleepin over in fren’s house. but. hehe ^^ sometimes i felt bad for not tellin them the truth, but i just cant. aiyarrrr.
48. MRDAKOTA | February 15th, 2008 at 10:06 am
Ha ha… This is called….
100% lovey infatuation. Congrats, you’ve walked the mile… you can never turn back now ha ha… kisses are too good lol.
Aw. It’s so nice to see two people in love.
49. MRDAKOTA | February 15th, 2008 at 10:09 am
p.s I have been through a similar situation as you…
It’s like, you can take 2 ways, but 2 ways suck as hell…
My suggestion is to just let it flow, if you are happy and really in love, things will work out anyway.
Don’t worry : )
50. mIcheLLe | February 15th, 2008 at 6:16 pm
aiyah y my comment din get thru ahh. I like the feeling of just enjoying the simplest pleasures like being holed up in a room, having nothing to do and he’s not gonna even care if you look like an auntie in a ratty tee shirt and granny pants.
Erm I am not saying you look like an auntie though hahaa.
51. foreverjas | February 15th, 2008 at 8:06 pm
i adore the way u write !!!
52. aronil | February 17th, 2008 at 6:24 pm
Aww that’s such a touching post, couldn’t help smiling. :) glad to know that you and martian are so tight ^_^ lol even when you’re sleepy your still sweet haha.
Leave a Comment
Trackback this post | Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed