Archive for April, 2008
it seems i am quite the failure when it comes to technology. the other day my brother was checking out some online forums on his iPhone, and i looked over and said how i wished i had an iPhone so i could go online whenever and wherever i want.
and he said, ‘your phone also can wat, stupid!’
my former phone that i never knew could be used to access the internet. sigh.
please lah -_- i was all like, ‘if my phone could go online, do you think i would not know???’
apparently it can. wtf. and all it took was a visit to one of those Maxis shops. actually it was quite funny… i went to the Maxis shop at Pavilion, thrust my phone into the hands of the guy working there and asked him, ‘my phone cannot go online right??’.
and then he said to me … ‘why girls don’t like to read manual when they buy phones wan ah?’ -___-
then he tinkered with my phone for like 30 SECONDS and suddenly Google popped up on the screen o_O
shit???? where has this service been all my life???
needless to say, i’m using my phone ALL THE TIME whenever i’m out now. i just can’t… stop… going online!!! yes yes i know it’s very rude to be checking my email in the midst of dinner and stuff but i cant help it :( it’s just too easy to slip my phone out of my bag, press a few keys and start checking my email or check my favourite blog haunts for updates. sigh. summore my new phone so nice..
things i have been doing with my newfound love for this thing called 3G Internet!
1. FACEBOOKING
you know what I love most about Facebook Mobile – i get to update my Facebook status wherever and whenever I want, AND people can see the update and text me (or wall me!) their responses instantly. hehehe like yesterday when i was in the bus on the way to Singapore, i changed my Facebook status to Su Ann Lim needs love and ice cream.
hehehe and then i got all these texts and walls giving me love and promising ice cream dates. dont bluff me ah you all, i collect wan you know. oh and Lainie and Tze, don’t be lazy. faster go do your work!!!
another thing that’s great about having Facebook on your mobile phone is that you get to check out profiles of people immediately. hehehe. like last week, Adrian was showing us the profile of this girl he likes. needless to say, we were all very sampat about it, crowding around the phone and giving all our critique and opinions. haha no lah Adrian she’s very pretty. don’t be emo okay :P i went and poked her summore… hehehe.
2. CHECKING IMDB MOVIE RATINGS
this is totally NIFTY :D when checking out movies at the cinema, there are times when i’ve not heard of some shows being screened - i have no idea what these movies are about, and the posters don’t tell much either. and then of course there are times where the movie trailer looks good, but something in your gut tells you the trailer is a deceiving veneer for a movie that will surely suck :\
enter IMDB, the best ever movie database in the universe!!! for those who’ve never heard of IMDB, it’s a site that gives you every single bit of information about any movie you wish to look up. i am so addicted to it that i IMDB every single movie i watch upon returning home :|
now that i can go online with my phone, what i do is just IMDB the different movies right there at the cinema before i buy my tickets. instant checking of movie rating and cast! w00t. one gem uncovered was Definitely Maybe, which i wasn’t sure would be good, but a quick check on IMDB showed a solid rating of 7.5. well, Aira and i loved the movie to bits :) it was so sincere, feel-good and touching; definitely one to watch with the girls or with the significant other.
(in other movie-related news, i just watched The Other Boleyn Girl. ah so fantastic :) starring two of my all-time favourites Natalie Portman and Eric Bana, and Scarlett Johansson who is Martian’s not-so-secret crush, we didnt need IMDB to convince us to watch THIS movie!)
3. CHECKING MY MAIL
my mail-checking is just bordering on obnoxious now :( i keep going, ‘wait ah… wait ah… let me reply mail first!’ right in the middle of conversations. *ashamed* i cant help it lahhhhh i feel so compelled to read and reply because checking my email is just so..possible now :( and what with how quickly that lite version of gmail loads on phones. le sigh.
4. WIKIPEDIAING STUFF DURING CONVERSATIONS
HAHAHA want to impress people during conversations as if you knew what the heck they’re talking about?! i bet you do :P Wikipedia + 3G is your savior, teehee. anything from industry jargon to a classic book EVERYONE must have read in their lifetime, from the latest news to some pop culture reference.. a quick check on Wikipedia underneath the dinner table is all it takes :P Vincent took my phone to google ‘the invisible hand’ after i told a lightbulb joke yesterday. okok come i tell you the joke:
Q: How many economists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None; the Invisible Hand did it.
hehehehehehe damn funny right hahahahaha faster laugh
5. READING BLOGS
a godsend during long waits and traffic jams. here’s a blog i’ve been checking regularly for updates on my phone lately :
Teenage Lolita is a blog written by a Singaporean call girl / prostitute who is my age, and has been at her job since she was 15 or 16. it is an extremely personal and almost blase insight into the life of a teenage prostitute, and one of the best blogs i’ve ever come across. she speaks at length and yet ambiguously about the ins and outs of the men who hire her, the perks and hazards of her job, her derision at people who look down on prostitutes, and her love for money and expensive things. i could write a whole post about how amazing and touching and shocking her blog is, and maybe one day i will, but for now i’m just going to trawl her archives through my phone when i’m stuck yet again in that infamous Jalan Sultan Ismail traffic jam :) please read her blog, especially the older posts when she’d just just started her job. it’s a fantastic read.
6. YOUTUBE
it’s so very easy to share videos now - a quick search on youtube is all it takes to pass around the video of Achmed the Dead Terrorist. HEHEHE. i KEEL you!!! *eyebrows* cracks me up every single time, and i never hesitate to share this video to people who’ve never heard of Achmed.
speaking of videos, Episode 13 of Malaysian Dreamgirl is up! quite interesting, this one, with a special challenge issued by Kenny where the winner(s) got to take back a very coveted prize :) the girls were also featured on NTV7’s Breakfast Show, and they were paid a visit at the Dreamhouse by 4 yummy men. Jonathan Putra (aka JP) is all sorts of delicious :D
besides MDG, i also have been following Idol from Youtube on my phone, cos i never seem to be home at the right times to catch it on tv. ah David Archuleta was disappointing this week. i’m rooting for David Cook as always, and Jason Castro has a special place in my heart. i would die to have him serenade me on his guitar or even that ukulele, i really really would!
——
sigh i remember how when i was switching phones a couple of years ago, my brother was telling me to get a GPRS or a 3G phone. i was like ‘huh… no need all these things lah, so fancy for what!’ well, i really want to shoot myself now :( that’s a few years of internet-on-the-go that i’ve wasted and am never getting back.
eh i just thought of something! can i use MSN on my phone?
April 17th, 2008
it is 6 a.m, but instead of sleeping like i should be, or finishing Catcher in the Rye at home and in the comfort of my warm bed like i could be, i am here in Mamak-Near-My-House, STUDYING, with this.. incorrigible idiot who thinks that he can pass his finals by mugging only TWO HOURS before his paper starts. yaaa i cant believe it either. this is exactly why we broke up so many years ago. priorities in life too different, haih.
everybody, meet eeyang.
he is my first love and one of my best friends to this day :) as i write this, he’s sitting across the table from me, mugging for his CSCI paper that is two hours away, from a textbook that he DIDN’T EVEN HAVE, which *I* had to print out for him. my sole task on this fine morning is to sit here with him and make sure he studies and to scold him every once in a while when he gets distracted by shiny things :\ i even had to bring my pencil case for him because i wasn’t sure if he would have any stationery on him -_-
our relationship has always been like this. when we were going out in Form 2, it was one of those classic high school relationship stereotypes where the jock was going out with the nerd in some aberration of the natural high school ecosystem. well, no prizes for guessing who the jock and the nerd are respectively, but i was a very pretty and sociable nerd okay!!! we were from completely different and very segregated circles, but as fate often has it, it was only a matter of time before we found each other and fell completely head over heels in love.
we came from very different backgrounds and we didn’t like or do the same things, but at our very cores we were almost made for each other. we were both rebels at heart - impatient, ambitious and never letting anyone or anything get in our way, we were both all about feelings and emotions, and we really understood each other. where one of us lacked something, the other filled up that void. for the first time, i understood what people meant when they talked about puzzle pieces and completing each other. like i said, we didn’t like or do the same things, but we always took a lot of joy in learning and discovering the other person’s world. i spent a lot of time cheering him on at his basketball games, and he used to come over to my classroom and hang out with my friends, who all loved him. i remember how he gave Aira an entire pack of crackers for her birthday, because we used to call her Pollie the Parrot :P he taught me all about computers, sports and cars, and i taught him all about grammar, geography and history. in Kemahiran Hidup classes, he did all my woodwork for me while i did all his jahitan. yeah, it was one of those relationships :)
we went out for about a year before we split up and he went to a different school. neither of us saw the split coming, and in hindsight it was one of those things that shouldn’t have happened. then came many years of very little contact, where we would hang out only once in a while or turn to each other whenever we had issues that no one else but us would understand. we’ve been spending a lot of time together lately, because yes, we’ve both been having issues and of course we just naturally turn to each other - just like it’s been from the very beginning :)
this is us at Jalan Alor having that clam seafood thingy (informally called chuit chuit but i have no idea what its real name is) where you have to suck the meat out of the shell. like the numbskulls that we are, we could not suck out ANY of the meat, and had discarded 3/4 of the plate before we realized we were sucking on the wrong end of the clams :\ two days ago we both emo-ed over fries and a quarter pounder (i said i didnt want one, but i ended up finishing his), and yesterday i had a super craving for fah sang wu, so he drove me all the way to SS2 just to have a bowl. and today… we are both sitting at Mamak-Near-My-House making sure he doesn’t fail his CSCI paper. tomorrow we are going out for a movie and then making sure he doesn’t fail his upcoming English paper. hehe.
conversations with eeyang:
me: you so totally need to study harder. i can help you with CSCI!
eeyang: eh i’m not doing so bad.. i got 48 out of 60 for my midterms!
me: ……..
eeyang: aren’t you proud of me?
me …… um that’s like a B or something..
eeyang: HELLO??? a B is PRETTY DAMN GOOD!!!
me: no it isn’t. anything less than an A is material for suicide.
me: eh actually how many girlfriends have you had so far?
eeyang: hmm.. *thinks* three! you, koi lin and joey.
me: hah.. elaine leh?
eeyang: oh then four.
me: jessy leh?
eeyang: oh then five.
me: natalie leh?
eeyang: oh then six.
me: then how about that girl from taylors?!
eeyang: what, that one also count?? okay lah then seven. eh but if she counts then so do pei yee, lie peh, sarah…
me: WTF
hahaha sometimes he really cracks me up. we have so much fun whenever we meet up, and it’s so good to know we still get along with each other so well. and that we still understand each other :) we have the kind of friendship where we can just flop onto each other on the couch, watch a really shitty movie and then get up and go home, feeling a thousand times better. we could ask each other for a favour and it’d be granted instantly without any hesitation.
we didn’t break up because of different priorities, but we broke up because i didn’t know what a good thing i had then. but i know now :) eeyang, if you are reading this, can you please go back to doing your work!!!!!! stop talking to me about random things!!!!!! i am not going to answer you anymore!!!
ooh, this just in:
eeyang: do you know why i’m so panicked over this paper?
me: you are so not panicking. you’re like too calm for your own good
eeyang: NO, i’m damn panicked okay!
me: okay… is it cos your paper is one hour away?
eeyang: no lah… it’s cos this exam has 2 invigilators. so my classmates and i can’t copy or exchange papers like we’re used to doing :D
me: WTF
April 15th, 2008
on many levels i am angry. but on the most basic level, and the one closest to my heart, i am wistful. wistful over everything that has transpired be it good or bad, and wistful over what could have been. like my red curtains, and the lanterns i was going to hang from the ceiling in the middle of the room: things that never happened because like everything else, my wishes just weren’t communicated rightly or taken seriously enough.
what went wrong all boils down to communication and respect. lack of. i remember how i felt when i walked in and saw the grey curtains and how my heart just stopped and spilled all over the wooden floor. what is the word i am looking for? dismissed. a word so often used against me, but always ejaculated with a conviction that smells suspiciously like hypocrisy. irony. the most important things become forgotten and shoveled beneath layer after layer, mound after mound of flimsy defenses and self-righteous pride. how can you say you love someone when you are so much more in love with yourself?
pebbles in shoes come to mind. i have forgotten how to speak, i have forgotten how to be happy. reprieves come often enough, but i’m taken away from them by the call of duty and guilt, mixed together into a love potion. nothing complements each other, nothing feels perfect; it’s always either or, compromise, win some lose some. we give in all at the wrong times, and so we collapse together, recklessly and without any tenderness.
i feel deprived. starved, somehow. repressed. oppressed. sad. lonely. disappointed. furious. cold. contemptuous. on one hand, what was i thinking? on the other hand, there were all those laughs and all those mornings - those sweet mornings with the kisses and the cologne and the space invading. brushing teeth. making fun. siew long pau. pooch. the airport express. cold cinemas. you see? you see what i’m doing? why am i doing this? this is so fucking irrelevant. and you know what else? Ocean’s Thirteen was fucking balls anyway.
April 13th, 2008
so 6 girls remain in Malaysian Dreamgirl after this week’s elimination, and i must say that i am extremely extremely disappointed that my favourite Dreamgirl was eliminated this week. sigh. regretfully, i didn’t vote for her this week, because i chose to vote for Jay. i should have voted them both or something - my favourite really had the potential to win the competition if only she had survived this week :(
last week the shoot was themed White Summer, where all the girls were dressed in white and the shoot was all sunshine and smiles :) i really liked how the photos turned out - so sweet! this week it was the Wella Inspiration shoot, where the girls got some really dramatic hair and loud makeup. mmm, i have mixed feelings about the mood of the pictures; in all honesty i didnt think any of the photos (except for Fiqa’s and maybe Jay’s) were nice at all. they made all the girls look like men and the lighting was just so tak ngam. too much shiiiiine on the skin!
visiting the Dreamhouse
my humble opinion on the Dreamgirls so far:
(read on only if you don’t mind knowing, or already know, who got eliminated this week!)
ADELINE: the thing is, her english actually isn’t so bad off-camera - it just sounds conversational and totally Malaysian. Adeline’s very quiet and never really has much to say. a very stunning girl in person cos of her height and her looks, but i always feeling like smacking some emotion into her expression during photoshoots. there is absolutely no intensity at all in her eyes - she looks either bored or stoned in all her pictures :( haih donno why after so many week still no improvement on her part. i wish she would smile more - she looks soooo super cute when she smiles!
CINDY: haha Cindy Cindy, the most controversial girl in the house. she’s a babe by most standards, and many of my guy friends who watch the show are absolutely crazy about her. i get the feeling she’s very used to people fawning all over her, and that’s why she’s just falling apart in the house because all of the girls cant stand her. the tomateoows incident was such a mountain made out of a molehill, you kneowww :P Cindy claims Nadia was mean and overreacted (called her pukimak!) about her small mistake of eating Nadia’s tomatoes, but Nadia tells us that when Cindy apologized, it was rude and flippant - “aiyahhh sorry lahhhh i pay you back lah okay??”. i think Cindy is definitely a very pretty girl, but she isn’t doing as well as i expected in this competition. for someone who’s so defensive and competitive, she seems to be paling in comparison to the others.
FIQA: i’m so depressed that Fiqa was eliminated :( Mr. BBQ and i were anxiously looking out for her at the MIFA showcase, but when we didn’t see her on the runway, we instantly knew what had happened. i couldnt shut up about how the show has no meaning for me now /dramatic T___T she was my favourite from the very start, even before that chun makeover, because she was sweet yet sexy, smart, bold and eloquent. she had this versatility about her that i thought would bring her very far in this competition. and summore when i arrived at the Dreamhouse that day, she was outside sweeping the leaves in the compound. so hardworking!!! T___T
it is VERY VERY unfair that she was eliminated during the one week where she trumped all the other contestants in the photoshoot. this is why i think the judges need to play a bigger role in the competition. they ought to TELL the audience who did well and who didn’t, tell us what goes on during the shoots that the camera never seems to capture - that way we know who deserves our votes. otherwise all of us will be just sitting back and not voting because we don’t have a compelling reason to vote for any of the girls.
HANIS: i loooooveeee Datin Hanis she is so adorable and i want to keep her in my pocket!!! her face is absolutely gorgeous and i love her bubbly personality. she’s one of those girls that you cant hate no matter what; you see lah even when she complains about the other Dreamgirls it’s so freaking cute :\
she is going to go very far. she has a likable face that she is slowly learning how to chameleon-ize. very nice! at MIFA, she appeared on the runway about 4 times for 4 different designers, and was even a muse for one designer :) i was so happy to see that. she’s got a great walk for a beginner and the right look for commercials and TV. here’s a rising star, everybody :)
JAY: like Hanis, she was chosen by designers to model their designs more times than any of the girls during MIFA. all the other girls (except Jay and Hanis) appeared only once - but Jay appeared 5 times for 5 designers, and each time, she worked the runway like a PRO :) Jay looked absolutely stunning that night - tall and elegant and refined. where her strong features can be a tad masculine for print modeling, it absolutely WORKS on the runway. sigh you had to have been there to marvel at how good she was. i really hope that she makes it big in the modeling scene after Malaysian Dreamgirl :)
Jay in red, strutting her stuff!
she’s got a great personality and nature as well. when we were visiting the Dreamhouse, it was so clear she was the one all the girls were comfortable with and looked up to. Jay’s very warm and mature, extremely articulate and polite - i liked her the moment i stepped into the house. and she introduced me to the nicest brand of crackers ever!! Jacob’s :D the little ones, then topped with tuna mayo. yum yum.
NADIA: it was very interesting chatting with her during the Dreamhouse visit :P in my opinion, she’s just a very misunderstood person. what comes across as bitchy and anal, is really just someone who has principles and sticks by them fastidiously. i told her that most viewers are of the opinion that she’s bitchy and unlikeable, and i asked her if she would change her personality if it was getting in the way of people voting for her. and she said no, she wouldn’t, because then her friends and family - the people whose votes mattered most to her - wouldn’t vote for her or respect her very much. it was nice to see that side of her :)
i think Nadia’s damn sexy, i really do. her infamous ‘garang’ face looks really good on the runway. like Tyra Banks would say (while wagging her finger) - fiiiiiieeeeeerce! i also appreciate how honest she is, though of course in a reality show where other girls are involved, this can come off as mean. also, this girl can really talk and talk and talk :P
RINGO: in all honesty, if Ringo wasn’t a celebrity blogger, she’d disappear into the shadows of this show. she and Adeline are the quietest of all the girls.. but even Adeline has something to be remembered for - her spoken English. it looks to me like Ringo is so afraid of committing another faux pas, that she’s trying not to do anything that would put her in the slightest of difficult situations. i don’t think this is working in her favour at all. instead, it’s giving people the wrong impression that she’s not willing to work hard to earn the votes she’s getting. right now all it looks in the show like is that she’s just existing; no passion, no verve, nothing :\ le sigh. she needs to let that fun personality of hers pop on-screen, even more so in her pictures.
me with the Dreamgirls :)
i’m glad to see that with Episode 11, there has been a lot of improvement in the show - less of the pointless things like girls eating, girls working out, girls getting spa treatment (all while random background music plays), and more of the interesting bits. things are picking up, yes? am also happy to see that they started displaying the photoshoot pictures during elimination - it’s good to have some reference when Sazzy is doling out her judgment on each girl’s photo.
but for some reason, the judges are STILL not playing the role of a panel at the moment. why are they called judges if they dont judge! and Sazzy is still a little bit irrelevant save for elimination time - which i believe would be infinitely more exciting if the judges handled it :\
all that said, i can’t wait for this Saturday’s episode - i hear the girls are going to be modeling Carven Ong designs!!!!! w00t. let’s see how this goes. pssst SSGers! Joanne was at MIFA too, modeling a gorgeous red dress by Carven Ong :)
this week, i’m voting for Hanis, because i think she’s shown the most improvement throughout the show. how about you guys - who are you voting for?
April 12th, 2008
i am back here in this self-imposed vacuum. so many years have gone by, but nothing about this familiar old taunting friend has changed. i thought i would have outgrown certain things, but it seems i have not. for instance, i still check my phone first thing in the morning for any texts or calls i missed. i still take quicker-than-usual showers. i still can’t focus on any literature. i still recite the same mantras from years ago - this is for the best, you’re happier now.
this period of adjustment always feels like a warped kind of holiday from routine. suddenly i don’t know what to do with all this time i have. i’m mostly drained but i strive to keep myself busy. sometimes i make progress and i honestly believe that i am moving forward.. but then there are the mornings when i wake up feeling so sharply and keenly the empty space on my lower back. and then there are the moments when something funny happens, and my first reaction is to share the story, but then i realize, with a skipped heartbeat, that i cannot. and that’s when all of my efforts fall apart together into a shameful and embarrassing heap, and i find myself back at square one, rebuilding the wall, making more appointments, reciting the same mantras.
fourteen, fifteen, seventeen, nineteen - each time it’s like revisiting an old manual where the step-by-step guide is never obsolete. before i know it, the warped ‘holiday’ phases into a stark permanance that whispers, so this is really it. then comes the awkwardness, or the anger - if that’s what the situation requires. then i start to forget things. the landscape of my desk changes overnight. i sleep. i wake up. i change my speed dial numbers.
April 11th, 2008
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