For The Millionth Time, My Name Is Su Ann
May 9th, 2008
Event Update: there’s going to be a fundraising event happening on the 9th May (Friday. today!) at The Curve, called ‘Rock Up!’ that aims to use music to make a change in the lives of others, featuring performances by talented local artistes like Chelsia Ng, Liang, Furniture, Diplomats of Drum and many more. there’s also going to be a sketch by some prominent local comedians like Harith, Nell Ng and Na’a Murad, as well as a fashion auction. it’s going to be hugeee, and it sounds like a totally happening event! i wish i could go, but i’ll be at PD :( anyone who’s going, let me know how it went ok? especially the sketch! click here for the lineup and more details!.
——-
i got something really cool in my email the other day :) the writer of this letter asked if i could post his writing here on my blog, and i said i would. it’s pasted below.
there are a lot of mean people in my life, guys and girls alike. they pick fights with me for no reason, disagree with everything i say, tease me, jokingly sing praises about people i cant stand, call me evil names, scare me, say hurtful things, and seem to not care about my feelings at all. the person who wrote this letter is one of them.
when i first met him, we were colleagues for a few months. he didnt bother talking to me at all during the first few days of my job, and whenever i tried to make small talk he would just grunt at me in response. i remember thinking to myself, what a jerk!, especially when he said something like “your name is so hard to remember. can i just call you oi?”, to which i retorted, “for the millionth time, my name is Su Ann!”. then he just went out onto the balcony for a smoke.
but here we are now, months later, and he’s just emailed me something that he originally wrote for his own blog. but i hijacked it and now i get to put it up on MY blog! hehe. here it is.
Singapore, August 9th, 2007.
There was this place where most people came to purchase a little happiness. Some, with their banknotes. Some, with their redeemed tickets. Some, don’t bother to pay at all.
It was in this building with many floors when i first met her eyes, when i first shook her hand, when i first knew her name. Su Ann. I thought it was a beautiful name. She thought i was with a better company. Her boyfriend thought otherwise.
“Hi, im Firdauz, i used to work for the other blog advertising network,” I liked to mention this a lot, kinda a bad habit i had. “Hi, im Su Ann, you’ve done the right thing Firdauz, ahh.. no worries, you’re with a better company now,” She liked to give a warm quilt to a frozen fella like me. It was comforting and i liked it. “Now why would you say something like that, you didn’t know if it was for true!” Her boyfriend liked intellectual arguments backed up with solid facts and valid evidence, to destroy the fairy tales of 2 and 2 can make to 5. But of course they were adorable.
We didn’t talk that much that time, although i wanted to. Perhaps because in real life, i wasn’t much of a chatterbox. Lacking in humor, in love with ipod, loved the people but failed to prove. My life was a tragedy, a comedy to others. Su Ann’s life was all sunshine and she shared it with others, with all the people who needed some laughter to bend their mundane, linear yellow-lined lives. She did it with her writings, she did it with her hands, she did it with her heart, with her soul, with her eyes, with her sweet little smile. She did it to everyone. She did it to anyone.
I was a thief who stole one of God’s best creations. Secretly admiring her passion to make this world a better place. I had never given her roses, had never given her flowers or any plant. She had never failed to pick up my calls, had never failed to reply my texts. Even if they were sent at odd hours, 5am in the morning, she replied them right away, half-awake, full heartedly.
Of course i loved her, of course she loved me, it was mutual, but it wasn’t sexual neither it was romantic. I wasn’t her best friend, she had her own. She wasn’t my best friend, although i had none. Good friends were what we were. Sharing stories during lunches, gossips over the phone, fake tears mostly mine, genuine laughter mostly hers.
Su Ann’s sincerity wasn’t a lie, her honesty wasn’t fabricated when she made those 400 lips smiling and happily cheering in an event which she organized. My intention was questioned by many, i didn’t come to her party. I never came to any party she invited me to. I lived in my own world, she lived in a world which had more purposes than mine, shared, socialized, gallons of happy drinks and a number of sunny cupcakes.
“Ahhh.. the joy of being a jerk,” To deny and to pretend, was what i really good at. I called her “frog”, she never laughed. I called her a name she didn’t like, she never rebuked. She called me Firdy, i never said it was cute. “Ahhh.. the joy of being a jerk,” I told her that her favorite Bisou’s cupcakes were not delicious at all. I made a sour face, told her their chocolate cakes were better. She never listened, never agreed, never pitied that sour face i made.
That evening, in the city of lion, August 9th, i was one of those people who purchased myself that little happiness and didn’t bother to pay at all. It was in that building with many floors, i found a little thing called substance, which later made my 2+2=5.
Firdy is one of those special people in my life whom i’ve been lucky enough to cross paths with :) he may be very very mean, but he’s such a great guy and a good friend, and i am thankful for that day in Vivo City, Singapore, where we met and shook hands for the first time.
Entry Filed under: Musings
61 Comments Add your own
1. FIRST COMMENT! | May 9th, 2008 at 12:57 am
nothing to say
2. nyrac | May 9th, 2008 at 12:59 am
very well written =) both of you.
3. reallybites | May 9th, 2008 at 1:07 am
so sweet!
4. Tricia | May 9th, 2008 at 1:35 am
nice letter…sweet and touching :)
5. k0k | May 9th, 2008 at 1:48 am
I am not very sure what I just read, but it left me with a vague feeling of melancholy with a little bit of sunshine thrown in. Certain phrases are seriously confusing though.
6. BenS | May 9th, 2008 at 1:48 am
One day if fate forbids i would love to make your to acquaintance too xD
7. sie | May 9th, 2008 at 1:54 am
Beautifully well written :) !!! what a joy to read
8. songjun | May 9th, 2008 at 1:57 am
I AM NUMBER 8!! I R TEH 8!!
-.- seriously.. why do people bother doing that.
Not like its actually the first step on Mars u know geez
9. KY | May 9th, 2008 at 2:43 am
wah this candy stealing boy writes very well yaaaa.
10. Chareli | May 9th, 2008 at 3:19 am
wow. fantastic piece. =)
11. CloudyRainbows | May 9th, 2008 at 3:40 am
A very vivid description. Maybe when you turn 21, all your friends can write you a short letter each and place them into a box as a present for you! :)
12. Dakota | May 9th, 2008 at 4:01 am
I didn’t know your name was Su Ann!!!!
JUST KIDDING. lol
13. Dakota | May 9th, 2008 at 4:05 am
p.s Very well written posty x
14. Firdauz takes 5 | May 9th, 2008 at 4:15 am
Hah!, u posted it. malu!
i’ve rewritten it actually, and keep it as one of my personal short stories.
gave ur character a malay name too, “Anna Suraya”
=p
oh, if u guys interested, this a small piece of it
“I was a thief whose heart got stolen by another mugger. Secretly admiring her passion to make this world a better place. Secretly, agreeing with her although i never liked the idea. Secretly, wanting to give her daises and roses. I was a dreamer, she was the real figure, the epitome of elegance and good taste….”
ermmm.. i like my Anna Suraya better
=)
15. Jehzeel Laurente | May 9th, 2008 at 4:27 am
Great read… :)
It was love in a subtle way… :)
16. Michelle C | May 9th, 2008 at 4:40 am
T_T
17. Kevin | May 9th, 2008 at 5:27 am
Lim Su Ann…the girl I tried to buaya in Friendster a few years ago because I thought she was cute and all…oh how wrong was I.. cont etc etc
18. radical85 | May 9th, 2008 at 5:28 am
omg its very very very well written
19. kiasu andrew | May 9th, 2008 at 6:05 am
青蛙！
20. pegsywegsy | May 9th, 2008 at 7:14 am
firdaus writes very well. like you! me likey. another ‘new’ blog for me to snoop at! the play of words…ahhh lovely
21. Dr. Tan | May 9th, 2008 at 8:05 am
Damn good shit Firdauz.
Hearts you as my colleague!
22. Jayne | May 9th, 2008 at 8:21 am
Wow. To affect someone like that is so amazing T.T
23. carol | May 9th, 2008 at 8:21 am
hahaha really sweet la! =P Wah, Su Ann, *bows* it is my privilege to have made your acquaintance hahahahaha =P
andrew: hahaha why are you like that! so mean hahaha.
24. chm | May 9th, 2008 at 8:44 am
no way firdaus after what i have jus read.. annoyin yes :P
25. Music Magi | May 9th, 2008 at 8:51 am
for one who is so young and tender in age, you sure have made an impact to those around you…your maturity belies your age! just remember where you come from and where you’ve been when you r big and famous… (uh..sorry… you already ARE!). too bad I never got a chance to meet u in person at Journey Thru the Heart ‘06. You’ve found a fan.
26. Justice | May 9th, 2008 at 8:53 am
Well…well…what a sweet and touching writte up.. -____-
27. iamthewitch | May 9th, 2008 at 9:31 am
What a nice touch to this blog! Firdauz I want to shake your hand too! :P
28. sheon | May 9th, 2008 at 10:03 am
wow……..what a beautiful piece of essay. beautiful.
p/s: pinks, PD for tiesto? i’ll be there tmrw nite.
29. ronin | May 9th, 2008 at 10:17 am
Both of you write so beautifully, I don’t think I need to buy books to read anymore! Wait hang on, how to claim my income tax rebate then? :(
30. Emily | May 9th, 2008 at 10:45 am
sobs. so touching. T_____T
i love u too su ann!
31. grace | May 9th, 2008 at 11:11 am
ohh my god, why it is so well written.
all words are so well used…wao..thumbs up!!
32. Lavender | May 9th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Wow that’s lovely.
I’ve been reading your blog for ages and I saw you at the MDG finale! But I thought “OMG aren’t you Su Ann?? I LOVE your blog!” would be kind of an embarassing thing to say..
I totally get what he means. Just reading the lovely things you write gets to me sometimes.
I hope to meet you someday!
33. miss p | May 9th, 2008 at 6:05 pm
sweet post :) your entries always lifts me up (: (:
34. anonymous poop | May 9th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
awwww
35. fern | May 9th, 2008 at 8:52 pm
what’s it like? making someone’s 2+2 = 5 :)
36. blueapple | May 9th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
damn.. firdauz writes so well… haha…
and so do u lol…. and the letter is written so perfectly..haha…
btw I met u lol in rainforest music festival, sarawak 2007..hehe…
managed to catch a pic with kenny lol….btw wherever u are, u better keep writing..u nvr know how many hearts u can reach…haha..all the best…
37. pinkpau | May 9th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
nyrac : thankewww :)
reallybites & tricia : haha it’s his redemption for usually being so bad to me
k0k : that is typical firdauz :P his train of thought is very wacky wan
bens : if time and circumstance allows it *curtsy
sie : firdy will be pleased to hear that :))
songjun : hahaha dont be angsty limsongjun
ky : candy stealing boy!!! hahaha i forgot all abt that. for a while there i was wondering wtf you were talking abt
chareli : it is, isnt it :) i feel honored to be the subject of such a well written piece :)
cloudyrainbows : that would be SO nice, considering how im going to be spending my 21st in the US away from all my friends and family :(
dakota : *smacks you
firdauz takes 5 : anna suraya!!! omg if i ever convert that’s what i want my name to be. hahahaha. and i want my daisies and roses pleaseeee :D
jehzeel : haha by subtle you mean hidden behind layers and layers of much meanness? :P
michelle c : why you T___T
kevin : kevin low boon yan.. the guy who tried to buaya me on friendster and always make me help him choose victoria secret stuff for his girlfriend, and i layan him cos i thought he was nice and all … oh how wrong i was !!! :P
radical85 : im happy you think so :)
kiasu andrew : what is that!!! explain!!!
pegsywegsy : haha his blog very funny wan
dr tan : ME LEH ME LEH :(
jayne : hahahaha! it’s his form of compensation for mistreating me all this while!!
carol : pleaseeee tell me what andrew said!
chm : i dont understand
music magi : of course i will remember. and im not big and famous lah :) haha journey through the heart! i see you’re from DJP :) send my regards to the folks at DJP.. john, paul, shann, kelley, melissa et al .. though i’m pretty sure they dont remember me anymore!
justice : haha sigh yes.
iamthewitch : hahahaha! eh i feel very tersingkir already :( now everyone loves firdauz and not me :(
sheon : see you there!!
ronin : of course you need books :P dont not buy books!!
emily : YAY finally someone says they love me and not firdauz. hahaha!
grace : he’s talented like that :)
lavender : why didnt you come and say hi! we could have taken a looking-up photo together :P
miss p : ah but i didnt write this one!
anonymous poop : awww indeed
fern : giggly, haha!
blueapple : well i’ll be at rainforest again this year.. so, picture time :D thank u, i couldnt stop writing even if i tried and even if i’m not very good at it :)
38. Music Magi | May 9th, 2008 at 11:11 pm
how else do you think I know that you were at JTTH or even started reading your blog? of course they all remember you! after going thru what you guys went thru … you don’t just forget girl. these experiences last a lfetime - kinda like a tattoo! that’s why you have people like firdy writing about you…:)
39. nyrac | May 9th, 2008 at 11:11 pm
” iamthewitch : hahahaha! eh i feel very tersingkir already :( now everyone loves firdauz and not me :( ”
we still love you su ann. and yes anna suraya is a very nice name. i’ve always thought that suraya sounds so quaint.
if i ever convert my name would be Qarina.
40. foreverjas | May 9th, 2008 at 11:54 pm
haha. kiasu andrew wrote “frog” in chinese. @.@ can i know how u wrote it so beautifully? admire lah!!!
41. carol | May 10th, 2008 at 1:13 am
hahaha yeah su ann, andrew wrote “frog” in mandarin hehehehe. lololol.
why ah why ah??? hehehehehe :D
42. mIcheLLe | May 10th, 2008 at 1:41 am
anna suraya!!! Firdauz is so cute :D
And the Chatuchak market!!! T_T I want to go and get me some flip flops T_T
43. ashleighhhh | May 10th, 2008 at 3:18 am
haha i heard the sound guy for rock up was being an ass.
44. Sam | May 10th, 2008 at 5:11 am
omg lol.. he’s hilarious! secret admirers can be very interesting people. guess he didn’t know that you do read his page. man the dude would’ve been blushing for days, so warm it might’ve progressed to a fever. su ann… su ann. drive guys crazae~
45. pinkpau | May 10th, 2008 at 7:05 am
music magi : oh, cool :D ah, JTTH is a tattoo i still wear proudly to this day :)
nyrac : qarina! that’s totally perfect :D
foreverjas : you mean how firdy wrote this letter or how andrew wrote the frog?
carol : haha cos firdy calls me frog!!!!!
michelle : COME LETS GOOOO. this skyler foong always also make noise wanna go bangkok
ashleigh : the sound guy?? hahaha how can the sound guy be mean?
sam : haha no lah! he asked me to put this up on my blog, so he already knew about it.
46. carol | May 10th, 2008 at 11:37 am
haha yeah he did and andrew had to give you the word in chinese lol.
*gasp* i totally want to visit bangkok again la it’s been like. 6years. omgosh. summer??????! haha
47. Tricia | May 10th, 2008 at 12:56 pm
Pinkpau, were you surprised that he actually admired you all the while?? So now should i call you pinkpau, su ann or anna suraya? hahaha… :) All the names are so niceeeeee..
48. foreverjas | May 10th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
i dun really get wht the frog mean by andrew. =.=
49. sujiiee | May 10th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
that was really nice!!:)
50. seowqj | May 10th, 2008 at 3:17 pm
sweet jerk ahahaah….
51. Eunice | May 10th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
awwww so bewitchingly confusing. like those vague love stories you pretend to understand. i like!! LOL
52. Firdauz takes 5 | May 10th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
I love ya’ll! Mwah mwah =p
And to thank everyone, i’m currently doing this.
Hope to see some new faces
=)
p/s: su ann, thank you sweetheart. sorry if i might steal some of your readers and to have linked my post in the comment, but ur a sweetheart and u’ll forgive me anyway rite =p
53. Michelle | May 11th, 2008 at 5:44 am
Very heart wrenching. It touches the heart!
54. UncleJosh | May 11th, 2008 at 11:31 am
wow… been going to heaps of events nowadays eh… :)
55. sheon | May 11th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
hahaha….which part of the crowd were you in last nite?
56. GnomeFan | May 11th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
woah..
the letter so nice..
can teach me to write that way?? :P
57. michellesy | May 11th, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Haahaahah, Andrew just called you a frog in Mandarin =P
I hardly know what to think after reading Firdaus’s epistle. In the most respectful way possible, it left me feeling…….ambiguous?
58. Simon Seow | May 11th, 2008 at 10:05 pm
I once call you by the wrong name too in MSN. LOL.
59. pinkpau | May 12th, 2008 at 6:23 am
carol : yes gooooo during the summer!
tricia : i dont think he actually admired me lah! :) it’s just very sweet prose
sujieeee : glad you think so :)
seowqj : sometimes just a jerk!
eunice : hahaha! love stories that you pretend to understand to like?! hahaha wtf !
firdauz : omg you totally used my blog to get dates with people. wtf, firdauz! i’m never blogging about you again
michelle : hmph i’m going to write something more heart wrenching than this!!!!
unclejosh : not really..! why do you say that?
sheon : near the control tower! you?
gnomefan : not my writing ler! :P
michellesy : me too :)
simon seow : yalar damn stupid lah u. thats why i dont talk to you anymore!
60. UncleJosh | May 12th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
don’t know… just that i’ve been seeing you everywhere or at least mentioned everywhere… ^_^
*smiles*
61. sheon | May 12th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
i was near the control tower too!! on the right side (looking to stage), near the cigarette booth.
that party was awesome awesome awesome!!! Tiesto was superb, music, lighting, and pyro……he is the greatest!!
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