About This Blogger who Blogs
May 26th, 2008
i first started blogging 7 years ago. in 2001, when i was a fiery little bookworm in Form 1 who had too many opinions and too little time to let everything out, i started my first ever blog at Geocities.com, using Blogger, the blogging tool that would later spawn the almighty Blogspot.com. i had all of 10 readers then, and it was great because these were my best and closest friends at the time. geocities.com/pinkpau.. haha. good times.
i remember changing URLs a few times because i was so paranoid that other people were reading my blog. i had a lot of rants on my blog, you see, and these rants could be read by any of the people i wrote about. this was a time when i was 100% honest about my feelings in my blog because it was being read only by my closest friends anyway, who would give the best advice and already knew me inside out. i eventually settled on pinkskyes.tripod.com and decided to never move again, but i still wasn’t completely open to the idea of a public blog. in a way, i dont think i ever really decided to go public; somewhere along the line i just slipped into the acceptance that we can never really hide ourselves on the internet.
in pinkskyes, i blogged with absolutely no refrain. i had something like 400 readers a day then, and i just blogged whatever i wanted to. if i was happy, i’d talk at length about exactly what was making me happy. if i was angry, you could expect a long and detailed rant about the specific people and incidents that were involved. i had a few short posts every day; whenever i felt like saying something on my blog, i’d blog, even if it was just 2 sentences long.
then in January 2006, i got my domain and moved here to quaintly.net, using Wordpress, entirely set up by Booha and Alvin the Puppy because i am technologically impaired like that. this was when i made the first step into the public blogging arena, and i started to be really careful with what i had to say because i was getting linked everywhere and hearing from lots of acquaintances and totally unexpected people about how they ’stumbled upon my blog’. haih that can be very scary, as i’m sure most bloggers would realize.
then i actually started attending blog meets, something i’d always avoided because i never really wanted to get involved with - and was almost scared of - the Malaysian ‘blogosphere’ as they put it then, and still put it now. my first bloggers meet ever was in early 2006 - a very small one put together by the cast of The Homecoming which i’d watched and loved. that was where i met Zona and TV Smith, and i remember Fireangel with her screwdrivers and Kimberlycun and Shaolin Tiger not showing up because they forgot about the meet.
that was my first ever real encounter with bloggers, and i guess being amongst them helped me come out of my private-blogging shell a little bit. in my pinkskyes days, i watched how bloggers attacked each other openly over the smallest things, i watched the whole Xiaxue vs Malaysia drama, i heard of this PPS thing and how it was the ‘who’s who’ of the blogosphere, and many more things like that. the ‘blogosphere’ just seemed like such a vicious place to be, and the whole idea of a huge blogging community was just very foreign to me. after 5 years of blogging privately, i felt like a country girl being thrown into the city - a little bit dazed, a little bit scared, a little bit self-conscious.
i’ve grown to become extremely comfortable in the blogosphere now, so comfortable that it’s strange when i think about how it’s only been 2.5 years since i was initiated into the scene. that’s only one third of my entire blogging life. i still write what i want to, albeit not as wholly as i’d like to.. and i’m a lot more censored and refrained than i used to be.
and you know, that is the biggest peeve that i have with myself - the fact that my blogging has become so vague and secretive over the years, and that i can’t always write what i want to, because my blog is now very very public. since quaintly.net, i dont think i have ever ranted or hinted at my displeasure at any one person without said person eventually reading about it. with a public blog, i’ve learned that sometimes it’s better to keep all the super personal stuff away because not doing so entails all sorts of problems like people getting their feelings hurt, blog wars, boycotting, snubbing, sabotage, gossip, and many more.
and that’s why all the stuff you read on my blog are these happy things that fall short of addressing the heart of what i REALLY want to talk about. the closest i can ever come to writing about these taboo things are my emo Musings and Unsent Letters posts, but even those i have to heavily cloak in confusing vagueness and lock the comments, so that people dont really understand or know the details of what i’m talking about.
there are really a lot of things i wish i could blog about, like in my pinkskyes days, because i want to just let it out and let my friends read it and at the same time get their feedback in my comments box. but of course such things come with repercussions, and so i can’t and don’t want to blog about these things anymore. sigh.
like yesterday, Martian and i had this big fight in Gardens. i thought he was being so unfair and unreasonable, and i wanted to blog both our sides of the story and ask everyone if it was wrong for me to have gotten angry. but then i can’t, because these are things better solved between the both of us instead of aired out in the open.
and i want to blog about this person whom i know, who is perhaps the most ungrateful and disgustingly two-faced person i’ve ever met. long story short, i’ve backed her up and supported her many a time when she needed it, but never a word of thanks. instead, what she does is totally backstab me. but i can’t blog about it because she’s a good friend’s girlfriend. and they both read my blog.
and i want to blog about this long feud i’ve had with someone. yeah i just want to blog about it and let everyone know what kind of a person she really is, and all the things she’s done to me and my friends. i want to clear the rumour that i apparently ‘hate her for no reason’, because there are a million and one skanky things she’s said and done that no one knows of, but that *I* know of and have firsthand experience of. but i can’t, because it’s someone’s reputation at stake, and of course no matter how angry i am this is something that i should not do.
and i want to blog about this blogger who made an attack on Kimberlycun and me on her blog, basically saying that we were spouting atrocities at this forum we were invited to speak at. i am confused because i have no idea which part of our speech troubled her, or why ANYONE would even have an issue with what we said, because it wasn’t like we were saying anything remotely controversial. so i emailed her about it, but she just brushed me off by saying it wasn’t personal, because one of her friends even shares the same opinion as us. (huh?) so i’d really like to blog about it and get everyone’s opinion on this supposedly ‘atrocious topic, but no.. i can’t blog about it because there are other parties involved who would probably hijack the subject and use it against us. long story.
and i want to blog about Bottega Girl. but i can’t. because i want to try to like her even if she doesnt like me. i NEED to try to like her.
and i want to blog about so many more things, but i can’t, because at the end of the day, given all the reasons and circumstances, i dont want to. it’s a good tradeoff, but one that has resulted in a blog that is a mere shadow of the honest blog i used to have. some days i dont mind it, because after all it’s just a lot of rants that i’m leaving out… but other days i think that these rants are such an important part of me. and it makes me sad that i have to hide these things.
haih. but that’s why i have friends to rant to :) good, concerned, awesome friends who are the best listeners and who can prolly name all the above ‘can’t-blog-about’ people a few paragraphs up there in a heartbeat. i love you guys. you people are my rebirthed pinkskyes.
to the people who have been reading me since day one, or a few years ago, or last year, or somewhere in between.. thank you for reading me, even if i’m not as drahmah and rant-y as i used to be. yeah yeah i know you guys like to read all the angry rants about specific people, gossip and blogger drama, but i hope you understand that i can’t always write about such things :P because there will always be hurt feelings and ruined friendships and unnecessary animosity. and that’s really just not my cup of tea.
but i really want to try to become more like my honest pinkskyes self again. i want to go back to being able to blog about anything at all, to not calculate every single move and repercussion.. because i think i owe it to myself to worry less and to be more honest. so.. when i do start becoming rant-y again, please dont judge me ok? :) i can be angry. i can be upset. i can be sad. i hope that when i choose to display all these emotions and open them up for public commentary, you guys will be kind in your responses and know that you are dealing with a person who has feelings too.
i was telling someone that when i leave for the US and become detached from the local blogosphere, i know that my blogging will change because that’s when i will start writing for myself again. you can ask any top blogger we have.. do you write for yourself or for an audience? you’ll never get a straight answer but the truth is, they probably havent written purely for themselves ever since they became famous. in our blogosphere, it’s all about the traffic and the money and the throngs of fans and the popularity competition. it’s a sad sad sad thing, but that’s what the culture is like. there are days that i look forward to leaving for the US, because that’s when i’ll be out of this blogger rat race, and i can focus on what is truly important - myself, my writing, and the people who will still be standing by me and sticking around to read what i have to say :)
i know that there are people out there who love the traffic and the money that traffic begets, people who want to be top bloggers and all that. but i’m not one of them. getting where i am was so accidental and lucky. haha i still remember the first ever plug that Kenny Sia gave me. i didnt know him then, and when i woke up and saw the huge traffic jump, i got so scared and wrote him a really long email begging him to remove the post. haha. so funny. in fact, i just looked up the email and i’m laughing now as i’m reading it. sigh the irony. maybe one day i’ll put up the email and we can all laugh at it together :)
haih this post is so long. definitely a lot longer than i intended for it to be. but it is the most cathartic thing that i have written in a long, long, long time.
Entry Filed under: Rants
129 Comments Add your own
1. vvens | May 26th, 2008 at 11:58 am
yeah. sometimes it is suprising to know who actually reads your blog. even people you never thought of would. damn scary.
i’ve been neglecting my blog too because there are too many things i want to blog but i cant. like scandals, dramas and problems i am having. yeah, it would be unfair because we are just ranting from your point of view.
i wont judge you when you become rant-y again! hehehehe.
2. sweatlee | May 26th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
eh that somneone was me la how can u forget wtf seriously when you go US you dont even care about anything edi. everyday wake up just do assignments only and stare at ppl who go to nuffnang events in envy T_T
3. nileey | May 26th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
hi, i’m one of those who stumbled across your blog through Google Reader. I have to say I enjoy reading your posts, and that you have rather ‘matured’ thoughts for someone your age.
4. lyn | May 26th, 2008 at 12:09 pm
i know what you mean .. sometimes you feel like bitchin about someone and yet you can’t
my blog is small scale meaning it’s read by mostly friends and cousin .. but still when i get pissed at MR A, i can’t write about it because friends of MR A are reading my blog :/
or i wanna bitch and rant bout some friends who i am sure don’t read my posts, but i still scared .. that’s why i set myself up for a private bitch blog with only 5 audience ..
and no worries about being judged .. i understand :)
5. carol | May 26th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
awwww su ann! :)
ya, i understand what you mean and i can guess just one of the “people” haha. but yeah, you’re right… a lot of times, “popular” bloggers end up blogging for their audience, and not so much themselves…
we’ve been blogging for about the same length of time - I started end of 2001 in diaryland.com haha.
go on, be human.. you do owe it to yourself. see ya soon! :) I can’t wait to come home!
6. TheRealAnonymous | May 26th, 2008 at 12:15 pm
OMG!! You HATE my girlfriend!!!
no wait… i don’t have a gf. LoL…
Well, its both fortunate and unfortunate at the same time that you picked up a lot of readers along the way.
Fortunate because u gain popularity, fans, and people who would support u along the way, *wink* =)
Unfortunate because u also pick up people who are against you, and that you can’t be too straight forward anymore on the blog, coz’ u know that the more people read your blog, the higher the chances that the person u’re bitchin’ about is gonna find out, or cause the wrong people to get the wrong idea and misunderstand what it is u’re actually saying as well.
But if you asked me, even if you didn’t have a wide reader base, how much can ranting or emo-ing on the blog really help make u feel better… as compared to calling your closest friends out and pouring ur emotions out to them face-to-face? Still feels MUCH bettter having someone to sit with you to listen doesn’t it?
Even if you’ve poured your HEART out in ur blog in pinkskyes dayz, I bet you still call ur closest friends out and repeat it again coz’ that still feels better right?
So take it as the public doing a favor for u lor… that you don’t have to waste time typing it up da blog, just call ur close friends out and scream till their ears fall off lor.
Another reason why u should also be thankful u’re cornered into this situation, which is the reason why i don’t write personal emotions in my blog, is because despite what you’re feeling TODAY, when you feel like POURING your HEART OUT to complain or to just let people know of the EMO state you’re having right now, or bitch about this stupid girl who u hate… is because you’re going to read it back one day and wished u never wrote it because u don’t want moments like this to be remembered.
Some things are better not penned in black+white, because there’s always room for change.
I bet back in the pinkskyes days when you’re 99% honest in your blog about your emotions, you’ve went back and deleted or edited stuff you’ve posted before. Tell me if I’m right. =)
7. Phooisze | May 26th, 2008 at 12:16 pm
haha very very true and honest. you have this unique writing style that always makes me think that you are such a calm person even when angry. o.O
8. ben | May 26th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
wooooo i’m one of those friends who can name everyone up there in a heartbeat!!! dont you guys all wanna be me
Bottega Girl is a ho who oughta be shot.
and i say, bring back the pinkskyes pinkpau!
9. hui wen | May 26th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
I understand what you mean.. Most of the time, I only have happy things in my blog– good days, loving bf, sisters, friends etc etc. I don’t talk about the fights, the tears, the hurtful words, the drama. People just like to pounce on it when you’re down. So I play censorship, but of course, there are days where I feel like I could be more open. Aah, but like you said, most days, it’s a good trade-off. :)
10. Gin | May 26th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
hahaha..so ironic some paragraphs of ure post
11. suanie | May 26th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
i want to go to US too
12. KY | May 26th, 2008 at 12:26 pm
but you can blog about what you had for snack at 6pm last Saturday!
13. ionStorm | May 26th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
Wish I was around to read what you blogged about back then…
14. ShaolinTiger | May 26th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
When you are in US you better blog all those above topics AND NAME THE FUCKING NAMES aight!
15. kiasu andrew | May 26th, 2008 at 12:40 pm
i want to read the email! ey did emily call you about meeting up etc?
16. songjun | May 26th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
lol oh the things u used to blog about last time :P
17. kennysia | May 26th, 2008 at 12:44 pm
it took you so long to begin censoring yourself?
i had to start censoring myself 5 months into my blogging after my mom cried and shouted at me for writing about my dad!
18. RealGunners | May 26th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
sometimes, good old diary in a book is not bad also la :D
19. ZeekNotGeek | May 26th, 2008 at 12:51 pm
HI Su-Ann!
Been a reader of your blog a few months back and im totally hooked to it. Fund it realy fun to read. AFter a streesful day, i just wanna check out blogs and have a light read of what other blogger had to say.
Yes, blogs can be very informative at times but it can be very dangerous at times also when you touches on personal/.sensitive issues. You wouldn know whos reading it and some can post up reaaly nasty comment.
Anyhow, good to know ur going to Columbia Uni and hopefully imm planning to go NYC end of the year, we can meet up. Its good to meet up high profle blogger in a foreign land. ha ha…
Cheers.
20. *dAwN | May 26th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
I totally understand what you mean :) But when you get to US, I’ll still be reading your posts as earnestly as I am now, and no less. I also don’t write posts that directs my anger out at someone (though I had wanted to do so much just to let the steam out), I never did because you never know who will be reading your blog, even though I’m not a famous blogger or anything like that. After a few days, when you look back, those feelings are mostly gone anyways. And I’m glad that I’m not famous, cos that means I can write more freely as I like and update whenever I want cos there are times I don’t feel like writing everyday. Anyways, my father found my blog too @_@
21. pinkpau | May 26th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
vvens : haih as a reader, i also wish that you would write about dramas and all that :D exciting. but your best posts are when you post your beautiful pictures :)) i got a comment the other day from someone who said that your photos are some of the best non-professional photography he’s seen.
sweatlee : how ah liew suet li i will be very jealous wan :(
nileey : thank you! :) wait.. how does google reader allow you to bloghop? i always thought google reader was just a feedreader of sorts that allows you to subscribe to other blogs. or does it allow you to see your friends’ subscriptions too?
lyn : yes that is exactly it! friends of mr A reading etc. then it’s also very hard to look at Mr A straight in the eyes next time cos you dont know if he read what you wrote or not :P ahh private bitch blog.. i wish i could do the same, but then there are friend-politics about who to give the password/url to and who not to give to.. etc :)
carol : haha how did you guess who one of the people is! which one did you guess? hey diaryland.. ahh the good ole days of blogging.. :)
therealanonymous : i really hate how you are so disgustingly accurate all the time :P haih. yes you are right about the deleting posts cos i regretted it, you’re right about how calling up friends to bitch is always better than blogging it.. etc. haih alvin!!! go away :( stop being right all the time :(
phooisze : and the me in real life is always extremely agitated and fluttery wan :P i dont think i’ve ever been calm in my life.. haha
ben : hahaha if only it were that simple!
hui wen : YES people pounce on it. and they make all sorts of stupid assumptions and judgments. haih. nvm lah we have our friends to bitch to :) hey that day i cut my hair with yen.. she was saying that your sister was just in the salon a few mins before i got there!
gin : which part!
suanie : cannot! you must stay and fight from within!!! like mukhriz
ky : you mean the stuff that gave me diarrhea? :P
ionstorm : hehe unfortunately it’s all locked away under my password now :)
shaolintiger : yaya and i will write about the cellulite photo also :P
kiasu andrew : nooo she didnttttt she’s very bad :( omg u went to watch help debate. i was supposed to be there too!!! just read your friend’s blog about help robbing chs. haih. poor guys :( they sound like the shoulda won.
songjun : oh yes the things i used to blog about :P remember all the long fights with ’speaker’.. hahaha. and kevlar hahahaha.
kennysia : you are kennysia mah!! master of controversy!! hahaha. talk about fast food also can get flamed wan
realgunners : ahh thats the thing… i’m too lazy to use pen and paper :P
zeek not geek : i’m not as worried about the bad comments i get, as i am about the relationships and feelings that will be affected. yup we can meet up in NYC if you’re going to be there :)
dawn : that is exactly it. i actually waited a few days before i started writing this post, just to see if i would feel better about it.. and i didnt, so i put it up today. but there have been SO many times that i wrote long rants about things/people i’m angry at, but decided to sleep on it before putting it up, and the next day i feel so thankful that i didnt put it up after all. ah dawn you are famous :) in international circles. do you look at your traffic? it’s probably higher than mine after your posts on the monk protests and the cyclone!
22. avispek | May 26th, 2008 at 1:12 pm
so u 1 attn but u dun 1 attn …
anyway b true on ur writing doesnt mean u gotta compromise ur true feeling as long u can handle the attn n attn
happy growing
23. iamthewitch | May 26th, 2008 at 1:38 pm
At one point, you will realize that your blog is just filled with very diplomatic posts that cannot afford to offend anyone… and that the blog is not you anymore… Su Ann just write what you want to write ok… Give us the old pinkskyes! :)
24. chm | May 26th, 2008 at 1:47 pm
just balst what u want lar pau… not like this is a political blog n u may b detained usin ISA at any given time…. if u dont want to den just let it out… type ur rants in microsoft word n then save it sumwhere n bring it bck up in a few yrs time so we can have an almighty laugh ^^
25. sieutheng | May 26th, 2008 at 1:49 pm
damn long post..fell asleep reading it. zzz
eh when u go to US make sure u blog abt all this ppl ok! sorry la my life very boring, no drahma. so i need to entertain myself with other ppl’s drahma.
26. nick | May 26th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
yes yes yes yes yes yes yes! ;)))))))))
27. Wannabe Economist | May 26th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
I agree with Real Anonymous in a sense, I guess we don’t write for everyone, and I guess, not every stumbled-upons will be our “audience”, and the underlying fact is that no matter how hard we try in life, we somehow just couldnt please everyone because just no matter how good or bad a deed there will be people who march along or criticize. This is a life which we live for ourselves, I still believe that the conscience within you will be your best guidance of all time.
I’ve never experienced fame in the blogosphere, but the advice of what I try to feel from your entry is that, why care about the flames? I’ve also came to learn in life that between stimulus and response there’s a freedom to choose, basically we call that self awareness, which means its not what people do onto you that hurts, its often our emotional reactions toward the affairs which hurts, I believe no one can hurt you without your consent. =) Take care!
28. eyeris | May 26th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
traffic? what traffic? too many so-called ‘bloggers’ these days are so obsessed with this thing called traffic that they don’t even blog for the sake of blogging anymore.
You, at least, still keep a certain ‘blogging for myself’ vibe to this blog, which is still refreshing, and at least I actually bother (and enjoy) READING your stuff unlike some other idiots out there with absolutely NOTHING worth reading on their blogs.
29. lotsofcravings | May 26th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
i think thats very true..its even worse when you are working..office politics..even more sensitive..imagine bosses reading rantings about them, what kind of consequences that would be..
30. entwined | May 26th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
ooooh…i, like any other voyeuristic blog reader, love blog dramas :P which is odd cos i totally hate tv series that are too melodramatic like grey’s, gossip girl…urgh. :P
anyways, what do you think about password protecting your sensitive posts?
31. kiasu andrew | May 26th, 2008 at 2:31 pm
aiyaaaaa why you never go you always ffk one!!!!!!
haiya then you couldve witnessed another dj victory maaaah :D
32. chris tock | May 26th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
stay true to yourself pau pau, as much as those ppl are a good friend of yours, you are no less with us! well, me la ok. haha. thank you for everything and this time i’ll be sure to come for ur birthday that i missed last year!
33. Chee | May 26th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
wahseh…post so long…
nearly fall asleep…didn’t know u start blogging so long ago…
I’m outdated mah…only found out your blog last year…
34. songjun | May 26th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
ahaha :P good times no haha ur blog has always been a good source of argumentative material HAHA
eh but true though, you used to blog a whole lot , there were times i just had to refresh it within 30min to an hour to see a new post lol
35. nyrac | May 26th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
you write good stuff, would continue reading no matter what they’re about =p (i do sound like some fanatic fan here)
yea. there are some sensitive things that are better kept between certain people only. which is why i have two blogs. one public, and one for myself.
36. poet38 | May 26th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
hey, don’t know if u remember me, but i commented on one of your earlier post regarding the shift in tides of your blog. it is truly sad to see that what once was an outlet to one’s feelings has yet again been mutilated by society.
37. poet36 | May 26th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
edit : name is poet36
38. skyler | May 26th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
WHAT IS THIS WHY I BARELY KNOW THE UNNAMED PEOPLE AM I NOT A GOOD ENOUGH FRIEND FOR YOU =(
39. Michelle | May 26th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
Yes, I miss your pinkskyes blog. I’ve read it. It’s so honest. And sometimes, reading it makes me cry.
Dramatic, no?
But it’s true. I do cry reading them sometimes.
40. sheon | May 26th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
:) my favorite bloggeress pinkpau. :)
that is the downside for being popular. you have to start compromising for the sake of peace.
i stumbled upon your blog from the mt kinabalu post on kennysia, and there’s no looking back since.
i started blogging less than a year ago on friendsterblog, becoz i was sent outstation to work and was getting really bored. i have alotta opinions in my head, but i already have my hordes of frens to share it with…so sharing my opinion was not the biggest reason that started me blogging.
my first bloggers-meet was the pajama party, and i would gladly say that event has improved my social life greatly! thank you blogging, thank you nuffnang, and thank you pinkpau (becoz i wouldnt have attended that meet if not for you).
so long story short, the conclusion is….if there is one blog (non-political) that helped changed my life for the better….i’d say its none other than quaintly.net…of which reading your blog has become a daily internet ritual for me.
i hope you can ‘bring’ us with you when you are in the States. :)
41. Liz | May 26th, 2008 at 5:57 pm
i’ve been following your blog ever since you started quaintly.net, and how i wish i followed your pinkskyes too! :(
i guess there are perks and lows of having a high-traffic blog like yours, since there are SO many people reading you, and a lot of people just love to gossip and probe at every detail …
as for me, i dont censor myself in my blog since its a low-traffic blog, but i keep on getting comments from friends who know me in real life that i’m a crazy emo suicidal chick from the way i blog. :P but what non-bloggers dont realize is that a blog isn’t the most accurate portrayal of a person!
i can’t wait to read about your experiences in the States, I’m sure you will have an awesome time there ..
42. rachel chin | May 26th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
ah.. the good all pinkskye days :) and galleon for your blogs? is that it? haha. seems like so long ago. i remember you even used your pink blog picture for the form 2 sastera thing for encik taufik :p
43. rachel chin | May 26th, 2008 at 6:13 pm
anyway, i know this is kinda late, but, congrats on your uni acceptances :) nyc baby! woohoo!
44. pink.charm | May 26th, 2008 at 6:22 pm
awww, suann. you worry yourself too much. it’s always about the ppl isn’t it? what ppl say what ppl think. haih.
you know what? in life, there will always be all these ppl who’ll try to bring you down and tear you into pieces if it’s possible. so why bother? as long as you’re happy, that’s all that matters.
cheer up, babe! you have my support. (:
45. davidlian | May 26th, 2008 at 6:26 pm
Darn work. Makes me read blogs slower and end up as No. 44 on the comment list (what a number?!)
Well, just wanted to drop by and *applaud*. Don’t stop being honest because that’s what makes you, you.
46. reallybites | May 26th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
so the OMG THANK GOD I DIDNT WRITE BOUT IT didnt happen huh.
eh eh who’s the two-faced person! i dunno wan!
47. AngPau | May 26th, 2008 at 6:43 pm
You know what, the address pinkskyes.tripod.com is still in my bookmark! Haha…
48. Adrian | May 26th, 2008 at 6:51 pm
u know i never knew what ur skye in pinkskyes.tripod.com really meant..
49. thegeekinpink | May 26th, 2008 at 6:54 pm
I don’t know why but I really want to give you a long long hug. Maybe it is the sad music playing in the background.
I remember in my old blog, i put up this homemade video. and because of that one video, i suddenly had thousands of viewers and readers. and all that pressure just made me move to another blog with another name. long story short - i feel better now. but i wished i could have kept that blog name because it meant so much to me.
anyway, long long hug.
50. Asyraf Lee | May 26th, 2008 at 7:31 pm
All real friends wear “kaunter mengadu” tag around their neck =)
51. jessica k. | May 26th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
totally understand how yuu felt. maybe my situation wouldn’t be entirely same like yurs but i am really restricted from issues that i could discuss or talk about in my own blog. even though many often said that it is yur blog, just spilled whatever yuu want but that, seriously seems so impossible. due to that, i have a 2nd blog which is locked, just to pour all my thoughts and feelings, with my bf being the sole reader. however, having 2 blogs is really hard to maintain. >_<
52. grace | May 26th, 2008 at 7:41 pm
the pros and cons of being a celebrity blogger =)
getting the fun, happiness popularity, consolation bt when u do something slightly wrong…….*boom* you will get attacked like in World War 2.
53. jmmy | May 26th, 2008 at 7:56 pm
i read your blog so often that i can’t bring myself to pm u on msn. can’t really explain why. so weird of me.
really looking forward to read posts from the new/old(err..?) you.
if memory serves me right, i’ve been reading you ever since you blogged about why u chose elisha curtbert as the banner pic. haha.
cheers to you.
54. foreverjas | May 26th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
amazing !
55. michellesy | May 26th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
Awww, babe *hugs*
OF COURSE you have the right to rant/ rave/ be emo. Just because you happen to blog, does that mean you do not feel too?
I understand that it’s politic for you to be discreet or censor yourself for the sake of keeping the peace, but y’know, enough’s enough.
If you can’t say what you want to say (albeit in a veiled way, couched in the most general of terms ala ‘Unsent Letters’ - which btw happens to be my fave category of your whole blog), then what’s the point of this entire exercise right?
I know that everyone has their ups and downs, and no one is exempted. Since it’s your blog, should it not reflect the tapestry of your life too (albeit ina filtered way, as it should be).
The darned thing is, when you do choose to blog about the good things in life, the dinners shared with loved ones, the trips abroad spent exploring a city exciting and foreign, the meet-ups with bloggers, the lunches, the dress-up parties, THE FOOD (oh god, who can forget about the FOOD!) - some jerk crawls out of the woodwork and accuses you of being a fluffy hedonistic bimbo.
Heads you lose, tails you lose. So hon, since you can’t keep everyone happy (trust you me, this state of utopia will never eventuate), screw it and do what you want.
So dear Su Ann, rant away - I’ll try my very best to be here, (figuratively) holding your hand and putting in my two cents worth.
ps: I know I ask this every. single. time you write one of these milestone-type posts, but I cannot for the life of me remember when I started reading you. It’s like I almost fear finding out, because time’s slipped away so fast and I’m er, getting old wtf.
What I do remember though is getting hooked on quaintly.net shortly after The Star did a piece on you and Fireangel and Cheesie, voraciously reading my way though your archive, and then turning into a cyber-stalker, er, I mean became your loyal reader wtf =P
56. bubbles | May 26th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
u could try to password protect some of your posts. Not fool proof but probably worth trying out
57. abby | May 26th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
wo ai ni anyways
58. clem | May 26th, 2008 at 8:26 pm
i identify with you exactly.. sometimes when i want to write things for myself (ever since i ditched the diary) about personal things, i find myself self-censoring my own words to the point that it’s too vague to be understood by anyone else. and i’ve learned it’s too risky to expose your ‘weakness’ online or anywhere else for that matter.. people - spiteful people - will just use it against you.
59. mich | May 26th, 2008 at 9:04 pm
One thing for sure, I come here to read pink pao thoughts’ and enjoy whatever she posted.
=)
60. Jane Lock | May 26th, 2008 at 9:11 pm
Exact same situation:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/25/magazine/25internet-t.html?scp=6&sq=gawker&st=nyt
I tend to stay on the creative side so ambiguity can hide the true characters.
61. da | May 26th, 2008 at 9:19 pm
i think every blogger nowadays censor themselves just because we are all afraid we might offend someone.
cant imagine how it is for u if already we small scale bloggers-no one but close friends (and scarily family as well) reads cant be 100% honest - it especially sucks when we have to remove posts/pictures and write and delete 100 times just to make sure we do not offend someone…=.=”
cant wait till you can be 100% honest again!=) all the best and have fun in the US! wish i could go…=p
62. LJY | May 26th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
Long (literally) pointless essay ahead:
Concurred… I’ve struggled excessively with blogging- I started way back when I was 13 on Xanga (though those were the days I had less of an opinion on everything so the posts were quite… shallow… ;p) - but still, was absolutely terrified when more than my circle of best friends found the blog.
I changed all the settings to semi-private only-friends-can-read, and became so cautious with blogging that I stopped blogging altogether. Though- I missed the random stranger I-can-relate-to-this comments. Funny how the audience circle I wanted were the best friends who knew me inside out and then, the strangers who didn’t know my face or name or age - but not anyone in between.
Anyway a couple of years later, I got inspired when I started reading public blogs - Would it be stroking your ego too much if I said you were the reason why I dug out my blogspot account and tried blogging again? :P Haha and still after 3 posts, and only letting ONE person know such a blog existed - I stopped because looking back at those 3 posts, I realised that I’ve put so much of myself onto such an easily accessible platform, that well- I just wasn’t comfortable with the idea that one day I may blog something that I may not want certain people to read and they would end up reading it.
Also the idea of being vulnerable- readers knowing so much about the blogger but the blogger knowing nothing about the readers (unless they comment)… that didn’t sit too well-
Sometimes I almost feel guilty when I find myself enjoying or being deeply immersed in blogs such as this one, or a better example would be teen4sale- it’s as though I am using someone’s life- trauma- problems! as my basis of entertainment? To pass the time? Being so intrigued by someone’s life-turned-drama, argh… it just doesn’t feel right. It’s like you say- readers (unconsciously probably) become so attracted because of the drama- because of the real person they can read about.
And yet- I can’t help it. Because bloggers put so much of themselves on the blog- when they’re upset I feel it- I sympathise, I disagree. But when they’re happy, I smile and laugh along as well! It’s what makes me want to read. So when it comes down to it… what IS my point? :P Ahh, I’m just spewing off the top of my head. I guess… when you have a public blog like this- choosing to be cautious is the wisest most diplomatic but self sacrificing thing to do.
Okay. And now on a completely different tangent! To reply your previous comment:
Hahaha my “little” (she’s actually physically larger than me now. Damn puberty D:) sister used to come along to pick me up when I was in local primary school. (We walked home back then, so she came with my grandma) And you know… the icecream men on motorbikes that hang around outside gates towards the end of school? :D Yeah…… it was the only way she could get icrecream on a daily basis without mum knowing. ;) The tricks we kids get up to…
Well this lengthy comment… feels almost like a blog post of my own. xD Hopefully you managed to make some sense of it!
63. Random Surfer | May 26th, 2008 at 10:21 pm
I was gonna forward you the Emily Gould piece, but I see someone above me already has. You should check it out, there are some definite parallels.
64. nij us | May 26th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
i promise not to judge! everyone has a different perspective, you can’t please everyone, let them deal with it. GO PINKPAU! do whatever!
65. Simon Seow | May 26th, 2008 at 10:59 pm
I also want a plug from Kenny Sia but I don’t think it will make any different because I’m a guy :(
66. k0k | May 26th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
I’m such a n00b. I only started last year - and only to improve my writing skills. Haven’t gone very far, I guess.
So many people above me has already said it, so I think it’s kind of superfluous for me to declare that you’re my favourite of all the celebloggers - you’re getting so much lovin’ already.
I mean, hey, s’not like I write comments anywhere else on a regular basis.
67. zen | May 26th, 2008 at 11:12 pm
i’m an old, old blog stalker. i remember the pinkskyes days! and that draco layout! my friend and i even stalked song jun’s (very rarely updated) blog just cause he was your bf at that time! kekeke why am i admitting this lah :P
am looking foward to seeing you blog for purely yourself again :)
68. fern | May 26th, 2008 at 11:13 pm
hello, i’m not sure if anyone suggested it already.. but you can still go on writing honest posts! Just save them in your drafts and never let it out :D
i’m glad you somehow keep writing happy posts. it might seem superficial and unnatural to some, but it’s a breathe of fresh air to many others. Being famous also naturally makes you a role model. So you’re inspiring people through happy posts to be more positive and cheerful. i know that when i’m stressed out i can just go to quaintly.net, read a random happy post about cupcakes and cheap flowers and peanut butter cups. then i forget why i was ever so angry. and get out to go get some peanut butter cups for myself xD
being optimistic is contagious. So you’re spreading happy :)
(thanks!)
69. alvin the chipmunk | May 26th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
oh fuck it. just write the damn thing and piss off everyone and run to US.
70. tiff | May 26th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
you’re so, awesome :)
71. Music Magi | May 26th, 2008 at 11:34 pm
everything comes with a price…but never sell your honor. the reason why many stick with u all these years I believe is because of the sincerity in ur writing. even when u blog to the audience, u never fail to add a piece of u in it. and that is why i’d rate ur blog higher than most local bloggers out there anytime!
72. nyrac | May 26th, 2008 at 11:40 pm
to k0k: you are so not a noob, i enjoy your writing very much too~!
to pink: entah kenapa i feel so emo tonight, then i came and read your post again, and it made me even more emo because i was reminded about the other blog i keep and the person whom i keep it for =( hugs pau.
73. KY | May 27th, 2008 at 12:01 am
nobody got diarrhea except you, it wasn’t the meal I prepared that got you your bad stomach, don’t blame me!!!!!!!
74. pinkpau | May 27th, 2008 at 12:01 am
avispek : hmm i guess it’s a specific kind of attention i dont want :)
iamthewitch : yes diplomatic.. that was the word i was trying to pinpoint while writing this post! haha thank you! i wish i’d thought of that earlier
chm : did you know that when i wrote my political posts, i got a whole slew of .gov.my IP addresses viewing my blog via an emailed link? that was pretty interesting, haha. hehe i actually do that microsoft word thing ;) only i keep it in Notepad. ya maybe one day when i no longer care about such things, i’ll put up snippets of these posts. i actually did something like that a couple of years back
sieutheng : but you already know all my drama!
nick : hahaha what are you agreeing so vehemently with?!
wannabe economist : true. that is something i’ve always struggled with - trying to please everyone. i used to have this philosophy that it’s NOT impossible to please everyone if you know how to mediate and to tread the fine balance. but now i’m starting to see how naive that is. ah well. mm flames.. i’m quite lucky that i dont get many of those, and when i do, there’s really not much they can say that’s hurtful because all their accusations are always so far off the mark that it’s actually quite funny :P the hurtful things come from people that i know. and unfortunately, that’s always hurting whether or not you allow it to be
eyeris : thank you for this comment eyeris :) it really means a lot.
lotsofcravings : i would neverrrrrrr blog about work :P i know of way too many people getting fired for their blogs!
entwined : you hate gossip girl and grey’s anatomy?!?!?! *cries* thou art not my friend anymore!!! ya i thought about password protecting, but that in itself involves more politics. i could never say no to anyone who asked me for the password… so if everyone currently reading my blog now asks me, then there’s not much of a point pword protecting it, is there :P besides, passwords can get passed around too. so i dont want to hide behind a false sense of security but STILL get in trouble for what i write
kiasu andrew : maybe i didnt go because i knew DJ would win :P i’m still BITTER from 2005!!!!!
chris tock : really ah? means you come to US ah? :D
chee : long also must read!!!!!
songjun : only cos you’re such a fighting cock -_-
nyrac : thank you so much :)) eh but dont you wish sometimes that there are a couple of people, perhaps your closest friends, who would read what you write on your private blog?
poet36 : yes i remember you :) well i think what you commented on previously and what i’m talking about in this post are two very diff things. i agreed with you previously because i thought you meant there are very few of my heartfelt and personal posts on my blog these days, but this post is about my angry rants that are directed at specific people, events or things. sometimes some moderation is needed, for many reasons, be it for peacekeeping or an attempt to complain less :) i keep angry rants away from my blog for many reasons, most of them personal and nothing to do with society as you put it :) just like we cant all go around publicly slapping in the face people whom we hate, we also cant all be blogging mean things about them too.
skyler : you know one! actually you know two! you know about Bottega Girl too.. you prolly just dont recognize her new nickname :P
michelle : eh dont cry :( i blog about cupcakes more ok :(
sheon : sniff sheon your comment so touching :( you are totally welcome about the nuffnang pajama party, and i’m glad you went even though we BARELY got to speak! oh and i’m meeting linora this wed for lunch at pavilion; wanna come? sigh. thank you for this big compliment you just paid my blog :) means a lot
liz : ya exactly, blogs arent the most accurate gauge of a person.. but it’s a more personal insight into a person.. so i guess that’s why people have this impression that they can use it to judge you. haih. oh, the states :) i cant wait too.
rachel chin : RCHIN HOW ARE YOU. are you ever on msn anymore! hahhaa galleon for my blogs, good god i totally remember that. ah good times. thank you for the congrats :)) i heard you got into LSE, never got to congratulate you for that either!
pink charm : i bother!!! :( i dont want there to be anyone who hates me enough to wanna bring me down. that’s really scary ok. haha. and thank you so much for the support :)) it’s really so very awesome to get all this love from strangers. i wish i knew you in real life. thank you again :)
david lian : nvm you are 45 not 44! thank you dahveed :) for what it’s worth, you are a big inspiration to me when it comes to public blogging
reallybites : haha no it didnt happen. i decided that I MUST WRITE ABOUT THIS. hahaha eh yalor why u donno her. nvm later i tell u
angpau : haha! why so outdated wan!
adrian : it’s just a cacat spelling of skies :P no special meaning or anything hehe
thegeekinpink : i greatly welcome long long long hugs :))) wow what kinda video could you have put up to have gotten so much attention? i’m glad you feel better :) that’s really all that matters.
asyraf : the ones that matter, yes :)
jessica k : locked blogs are awesome! hmm shouldnt be too hard to maintain your private blog right? since you dont have to update it too regularly or anything
grace : i think i’m very good at avoiding doing anything wrong! :) so no worries there. i’m very very very lucky because i dont get much flames or criticism. the only big con of being a high traffic blogger is that you definitely get caught up in the rat race. it’s a sucky place to be.
jimmy : ah that was early 2006 :) thank you for reading me for so long, and for all the comments you give me. haha you always leave such funny comments
foreverjas : what is?
michellesy : haha milestone posts!! that is such an accurate term for this. i think i’m going to start a new blog category just for this :P ya i’m beginning to realize that sometimes there’s just no pleasing everyone.. but of course i’m not going to go out of my way to displease everybody right! much as i’d like to be totally free to rant about whatever i want on my blog, sometimes some moderation is needed. otherwise too many hurt feelings and too many fights.. sigh one feud with one blogger is taxing enough already. dont need to have more than that :) sigh thank you for the hand holding and the two cents! you know i always appreciate any comment you have for me :)
bubbles : cant :( that involves a lot of mess too. because i wouldnt be able to say no to anyone who emails me for my password. so the chances of my passwords landing into the wrong hands are actually quite high. so.. oh well :|
abby : xie xie! wo yeh ai ni!
clem : haih all you men and fear of exposing weakness!!! no lah i kid :) i totally understand what you mean, and many a time i’m in your position too. too proud (and smart) to expose weaknesses to others.
mich : thank youuuu :) you’re so kind. and therefore i forgive you for spelling pinkpau wrongly!!
jane lock : ooh thank you for the article :) i’m halfway into it - very interesting!
da : ya it’s very weird because every other day i find out about really UNEXPECTED people reading my blog, and sometimes when i write certain things.. i’m like “nvm lah these ppl wont read my blog wan”. but you know that picture of the girl carrying the dog in the below post? the one whom my friends thought was me? she was actually shown my blog by some of her friends who read my blog O_O it’s like. what are the odds, right! haih. that’s why it’s just about impossible to blog about anything ‘controversial’ or angry rants about people/events/things if i dont want to tread on any feelings.
ljy : ah what you just described is the best part of blogging :) the comments from strangers and friends, and also reading blogs and living different lives through those blogs. erm! i dont know if i’m getting the right LJY here! are you jia yoong from my former school! cos when i replied your previous comment, that’s what i thought.. :P
random surfer : yup i’m reading it now! it’s a great read so far
nij us : thank you!! :D
simon seow : hahaha! when kenny sia first plugged me, he said something like i was smart cos i got 12A’s in spm. so how? you got 12a’s anot? :P
k0k : no no all this lovinnnn can never get superfluous! tell me lah, k0k, tell me :D hehe but thank you for the lovin’. i like wan
zen : OMG THE DRACO LAYOUT ! hahaha the green one! omg this is giving me the giggles.. haha. haih this songjun STILL doesnt update his blog
fern : nope no one has suggested it, but i already do it on my own :) i plan to one day post some snippets from these drafts when i finally find that i dont care whether or not i reveal these things :) i’m glad you like my happy posts. i do too, and am always glad to write such things! why you say thank you! oh and about your blog it comment in the previous post, they didnt write my profile! i wrote a few things, but they revamped it and screwed up the grammar in the process. dont worry about not receiving an email; they’re postponing the contest and i’m not surprised if they’re just late in informing contestants. the team is actually really slow, even when i deal with them too.
alvin the PUPPY : alvin you are not a chipmunk. you are a puppy. see even the plurk team knows it.
tiff : omg no lah i’m not! why do you say that!
music magi : ahh thank you so much. that is such high praise and i’m so happy you left me this comment :) because i really do try to keep my blog as sincere and personal as possible :) i’m so glad you noticed.
nyrac : huggs back to you :)) dont be sad ok? i give you cupcake
ky : i blame i blame!!!
75. carol | May 27th, 2008 at 12:20 am
ah the blogger attack on kimberlycun and you wan. Cos i also happened to visit hers the day she talked about it… after I read yours ah or sth like that la but it was super obvious also haha cos I think she had a link to the article and I remembered you saying that you were due to speak at some event :D Yah, I have a penchant for remembering small, strange, seemingly irrelevant details hahaha. Personally I think maybe she was jealous because she didn’t get invited to speak hehehe, summore she has that ‘credibility’ she claims bloggers who speak at such platforms should have heehee. Almost as ridiculous as UiTM proposing that courses in blogging be offered by the university HAHAHAAHAHA Blogging 101 Chap1: Blogspot or Xanga? Hahaha.
oh yah good ole diaryland. Back then it wasn’t even called “blogging”, haha. I occasionally still post rants/super emo stuff there, though I haven’t done that for some time now :D
EH sorry long comment! XD
76. nyrac | May 27th, 2008 at 12:39 am
my private blog, has one author, which is me, and two readers, the person whom i keep it for and myself. i read back on previous entries to reminisce on the past, and i blog about things i absolutely cannot imagine sharing with anyone else there. some secrets, are meant to be kept, just between two people =)
77. guywithasmile | May 27th, 2008 at 12:50 am
U will never write for yourself as long as u know conciously that someone is there reading those blogs of urs..
only way u can be totally honest is when u keep the blog to urself but, that’s the catch..blog is meant for public viewing and diary for self.. agree?
78. fuzzy | May 27th, 2008 at 12:55 am
mine started as a way for me and my friends to keep in touch when we all parted ways to study - it was called the cookie jar back then. way back then. things changed over the years, and like you i liked using it as a scratching post. the more public it became/the more interesting life got, the less i really write, and over the past 4-5 years it has become more of a dry running commentary on nothing remotely interesting, kind of like cement filling in the gaps; when i get bored i take down posts, month by month. i have no idea why i still bother keeping it up.. but its kinda comforting to know it’s just there.
79. Sze | May 27th, 2008 at 1:11 am
look here:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/25/magazine/25internet-t.html?_r=1&ref=magazine&oref=slogin
you might need to login to read, but it’s worth registering for - “what i gained and lost by writing about my intimate life online”
80. pinkpau | May 27th, 2008 at 1:13 am
carol : haih dont even get me started on that credibility thing. she wasnt even at our event, and i have no idea what she heard from her friend who was there, but i dont think she got the right information if she can say things like that credibility thing. geez.
nyrac : that is so cool :) i had something like that too, with one of my ex boyfriends. so i totally understand how you feel. it really defines the word bittersweet, doesnt it?
guywithasmile : no lah i dont agree completely :) well, maybe. i dont know..! okay it’s like this. when i said writing for yourself, i meant that writing whatever you want, and nothing anyone thinks is going to change that. well, it’s possible to feel like that even when there are people reading your blog, yes?
fuzzy : please do keep your blog up :) it’s a great read, dry running commentary and all. did you know that the first time i ever saw julian was on your blog? :) hehe. martian trivia.
sze : thank you sze! but i already read it :D haha it’s a kickass read, it really is. i’m going to be following her articles from now on.
81. seowqj | May 27th, 2008 at 1:17 am
hehe, take care and all the best.
82. sheon | May 27th, 2008 at 1:30 am
:) linora’s a sweet thing….unfortunately i wont be able to join you gals for lunch….its impossible, coz weekdays i’ll be stuck in perlis/kedah/penang. hahaha…….remember? THIS got me blogging! ahahhaha…….
you gals have fun!!!
83. LiYing | May 27th, 2008 at 1:55 am
hey su ann!
i dont know if you still remember but when I first read your blog i was so touched by your honesty and amazing zest for life that i instantly sent you an email proclaiming my love for your writing etc etc. hahaha it’s crazy to think it was about exactly a year ago today, and i was going through some craazy stuff that your blog eventually helped me through in so many ways.
i think it was your amazing optimism and ways of seeing things through… it just made me appreciate life so much more, and for that i thank you very very much. =)
keep rockin’! write what you really feel. censorship may be needed now that this blog is so so popular, but in the end, writing is all about from deep within your heart, and that’s what ultimately keeps ppl reading you. You’ve already got that so don’t lose it! =D
84. esther * | May 27th, 2008 at 2:16 am
i never knew the whole story (or maybe history ;P) behind your blog - only started reading when it was already quaintly.net. :) that said, your blog remains one of my fave reads amongst all, for many reasons, really. im just gonna be stating the obvious about your wonderful flair of writing, but it really is amazing - the way you can just describe your feelings, experiences etc. i think it’s safe to say that i’ve grown to love the stories and anecdotes of this blog writer, but at the same time, grown to love the way you live your life as well.
p/s: and i love those late night entries best - when you’re in your reflective mood, i think you share the most genuine, heartfelt words of all.
keep it up, su ann! =)
85. pegsywegsy | May 27th, 2008 at 3:28 am
i love it when you write posts where in your words you ‘heavily cloak in confusing vagueness’ because of your use of words. for someone your age you think and write very mature-ly.
i have only started reading quaintly.net a few months back and am slowly going through your archives now :)
so just keep up with waht you have been doing and if you really want to rant for yourself and your friends as you say there is always the locked post feature
86. songjun | May 27th, 2008 at 3:37 am
punkpai : lol buck buck buckaw!
87. silence reader | May 27th, 2008 at 3:48 am
Each of us has our own flaws.
It’s these flaws we have,that make life so very interesting and rewarding.
Just be urself…o.k?
Life is too short for us to look for this flaws.
88. entwined | May 27th, 2008 at 4:34 am
er…i prefer ugly betty T___T is our friendship so shallow as to be based upon tv series only! T___T
anyway, i also love the way you reply to everyone. and damn long comments also! *respect*
89. Jas | May 27th, 2008 at 8:42 am
I’m sure its easy say than done but hey, life is short. You can’t please everybody and you don’t have to please anybody…Be yourself and I’m sure your blog will stand out than any top blogs out there :)
90. Joey | May 27th, 2008 at 9:08 am
Dont worry la girl. Watever you do, just be true to yourself and the ones around you. As for the the ppl you hate and wanted to blog about them so much, well, i share the same desire as you. Jus that i have the advantage of not being famous. And i’ve recently opened this private blog (only my closest friend have access)where i can rant watever i want there, spill out those b*s*a*d and b*t*h*s name all over. Haha. Feels great each time i write their name down. Keep on writing, even if it’s just a sentence or two cause there are ppl like me who really love what you do :D good luck!
91. FA | May 27th, 2008 at 11:39 am
thanks for the traffic! :P
muaks!
92. foreverjas | May 27th, 2008 at 11:51 am
U ! amazing! =P
93. luxen | May 27th, 2008 at 1:26 pm
…and now you are an adult. We all wished we could go back to the simpler times in our lives.
Ten years from now, you’ll look back at this and think how wonderful it all was.
It is all but memories replayed in our mind.
94. enzymo | May 27th, 2008 at 1:59 pm
you’re so, awesome :)… but you are right it is a bit long…a bit only
95. benjamin lee meng chuin | May 27th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
umm…
what’s cathartic ?
96. da | May 27th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
hahaha!its a very very very small world!esp here in melbourne? everyone seems to know each other…like mini kl here…=p lagi dangerous…sucks when even if u say something without mentioning names, people tend to misunderstand? think we are talking abt them or sth..=s
97. Anonymous | May 27th, 2008 at 4:35 pm
were you earlier on writing for Lake Club newsletter too ? I thought your name is familiar as one of the young writers there =)
EC
98. tom | May 27th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
I blog to the extend that my friend started coming to me..
YES THOMAS, I want to blog more and meet more people and gain more traffic so at least I can earn some moolah…
Sometimes, people just underestimate blogging and overestimate it at a point too… I don’t know.. for me blogging is just a place of interaction. A form of networking tool I would call it..
And I am glad to be blogging else, I wouldn’t have met a bunch of crazy people that we call ourselved the DGMB-ians. The peeps who G-mails chat.. read.. G-Mail chat.. not G-chat..
EVERY SINGLE DAY!.. and I cherish them as my friends… ;)
Blogging is kewl.. blogging is fun.. blogging is life… :)
99. Calvin | May 27th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
Small blogger here. Anyway, You make a right point there about the “famous” bloggers being more interested in traffics and making money. Although sometimes you can deny that you will tend to blog for your audience, I will keep a balance as for my case :)
And ohh yea, we want to see that email you sent to Kenny ^^
100. floppyfish | May 27th, 2008 at 9:34 pm
read your blog since last year and had kept up with it regularly till now… luv ya blog!!! it has a dose of nearly everything. =) posts that are matured, life enlightening, funny, bimbotic, rants, travel, emo, blahh anything you name it!!
I would just say continue to blog and do write with your inner self still intact to it. Don’t blog for the sake of blogging, cause it shows. Blog your heart out!!! =))) xDDD peace out!
101. Jun | May 27th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
frankly, i quite like ur “heavily cloaked in confusing vagueness” rants, cos i think the vagueness gives a mysterious aura to the posts ;)
although ppl who blog from overseas blog for themselves most of the time, i can also see that a lot of them blog for others. i suppose in ur case, u may feel “compelled” to blog for your throngs of readers at times when u’re in the states, but seriously, the center of attraction in ur writings is not wat u think ur readers like to read, but ur profound honesty. plus, most places overseas are good, conducive environments for some serious soul-searching (although nyc may have too many distractions ;p)
102. rachel chin | May 27th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
i hardly go online nowadays.. damn workload for law :( sigh. it’s a bitch. anyway, let me know if there’re any gatherings for ssg! would love to meet up with you guys again :) haha. galleon for your blogs. i remember the harry potter theme. lol.
103. chm | May 27th, 2008 at 10:12 pm
hahahahahahhaha…. .gov? not bad.. imagine the ppl readin malaysia today den…. must all be from najib n azalina’s cronies lol… cant wait 2 read those snippets ^^ will u attendin da walk 4 media freedom pau?
104. Huai Bin | May 27th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
OMG! You’re even more old skool than me and I thought I was old skool. I started in April 2002 and back then there were only a couple of bloggers I knew - fuzzy, Pearly, Jasmine etc.
99% of public bloggers blog for an audience. The other 1% is lying. ;)
105. tze | May 27th, 2008 at 10:56 pm
i’ve read you since pinkskyes! and i’ve known you since you were in glasses and err dunno stumbling around wtf.
there’s an issue at the back of my head that i’ve been wanting to blog about but i can’t because i am afraid. but since when am i a slave of my own blog? fuck this shit it’s MY blog and i can write whatever i want whenever i want. especially when i don’t get money from traffic cuz i’m cool like that WTF
106. nyrac | May 27th, 2008 at 11:20 pm
oh yes, bittersweet. i get that sensation a lot. all i know is i’ve been reading your blog for a long time, and i don’t even remember when i started. probably pinkskyes, because i remember the day many years ago that i clicked on your link and it directed me to a new address, quaintly.net =)
have you watched what happened in vegas? kinda predictable, and totally corny ending, but then again it has some cute scenes and it can get quite funny at times. worth a watch if you just want to have good time hanging out =) i know, because that’s what i just did today, hehe.
107. Ven | May 27th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
looking forward to ur new way of blogging ;)
108. kei | May 27th, 2008 at 11:37 pm
why cannot blog for ur own pleasure when famous?? :(
people will still like it right cuz i liked ur pinkskyes :(
109. gwen | May 28th, 2008 at 12:14 am
i guess i have to echo with many ppl here, that you’re one of my fav bloggers. =) i have a blog as well, filled with many many emo posts that’re SO vaguely written.The vaguesnees makes me wonder if i’ll remember what is the exact thing that evoked such a post when i read back next time. vaguely written, because surprise surprise you got it right!, the persons whom i’m talking about are reading the posts.
but then again, emo posts are just that. emotions. when you read the emo posts few weeks later, you cant feel that same amount/intensity of emotions anymore
i cant say i understand your situation perfectly because i don have such a huge traffic. although sometimes i wish i had, because your comments always show that many of your readers care for you. the comments always show that many of your readers are there to offer words of comfort or encouragement even though you might not have met many of them in real life.
anyway, there’s a reason why so many ppl agree with the saying ‘when you gain sth, you lose sth’ =) and there’s also a reason why so many ppl like your blog =)
110. Z | May 28th, 2008 at 12:24 am
For your amazing thoughts and opinion on the world, awesome music and many many unsent letters.
Thank you. Makes me ponder alot at times.
So i guess for me its never about the gossips and warfight.:/
Much Blessings.:0)
111. Firdauz takes five | May 28th, 2008 at 1:40 am
will always love u
i like this entry a lot, it’s the best ever
112. chareli | May 28th, 2008 at 3:35 am
hey there!
yeah man i get what you mean. it’s just the same with everything. you get torn between the REAL purpose and commercialism. sigh, it’s a sad thing but a very true fact of the world.
it is indeed damn scary how so many people read your blog. what i hate is when they don’t leave a footprint and you have NO IDEA that they were at your blog. comes across as slightly sneaky and stalkerish actually. sorry but that’s how i personally feel.
you are right. it’s so hard to just let go and at the same time maintain some amount of privacy. i guess when you come onto the internet, you have already agreed that you willing to lose that bit of privacy. but still, it all boils down to who do you blog for. just like you said.
i had the very bad experience of actually ranting about my relatives on my blog and experiencing the consequences after. had to move my poor blog after that. learned censorship from that day onwards but sometimes not as enjoyable to not be able to rant so honestly yea?
hahaha.
anyways, more power to you pinkpau and this was a fantastic entry that cheered me up at 5.35am in the morning. =)
113. Emily T | May 28th, 2008 at 10:55 am
I was a pinkskyes reader too! But of course have always remained more of a silent reader than anything else; still love your blog muchos nevertheless. :) Heyyy I just recalled something! Wanna know how I found pinkskyes? Through one of Samantha’s (aka Reverie) blogposts back then! Heh.
114. Emily T | May 28th, 2008 at 11:22 am
By the way, in regards to the comment thread on Suet Li’s blog - CIMB DO pay their interns, according to a friend who works there. Sigh CIMB was my first choice to do my internship at! So I suppose Martian’s an investment banker with the bank!
115. Miss C | May 28th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
Such a nice post gurl. Love it! :)
116. cheryl | May 28th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
wah. just look at ur comments, i can see how many readers you have. continue blogging ya.
117. ceres | May 28th, 2008 at 7:25 pm
this is my 2nd comment in 2 yrs i think.
when i first started reading ur blog since 2 yrs ago, i thought to myself: ‘ wah so many tiny words on the screen omg!’ *scroll scroll scroll for pictures*. but now i learnt to read every single word u write n like many others u r my favourite blogger=) sometimes i wish so much that i’m ur very close fren when i’m reading ur comments off posts so tat i noe what u’re talking about=)
btw i got to ur blog via suet li’s when she linked ur blog saying tat she took pictures ala the pinkpau’s style = self timering!! haha
118. pinkshirtz | May 28th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
Don’t sweat it out. X)
You’re right … theres been a dramatic change in your blog for the past 3 years. I can’t imagine what it was like 5 or 6 years ago. It was probably more intriguing back then. This is probably a real dilemma that’s bothering you. You can’t write anonymously, no point in that. But for what it’s worth, there is still that innate feeling from most of your readers, wanting you to write as you were. So, you’re not alone… as we also look forward when you’re in US. X)
119. Kevin Chan | May 28th, 2008 at 9:28 pm
Great post girl! Just want to let you know that I’ve been a faithful reader of quaintly.net since 2006 and I want to tell you this - your blog was one of my main sources of inspiration that moved me to start blogging last December, and I’ve never looked back since. (: Thanks, Su Ann.
And now we’re in the public eye, I have no choice but to cut out all the emo posts and look happy all the time, because I just found out that my ex still reads my blog. Damn, I can’t look less happy than her. Hahahaha.
I still love your blog pinkpau, and I’ve like converted some of my close friends in sg into readers of your blog too! :D
Keep on blogging Su Ann, and keep in touch!
Hamlet’s Hero.
120. GraceOng | May 28th, 2008 at 9:45 pm
keep on blogging girl. I just love the way you rant. You have your style, and it’s unique.
I might not be a usual commenter in ur blog, but I do read it quietly with some of my other friends. No matter what happens, whether you’re here in Msia or going to the US, I am still here reading quaintly.net always.
however i do agree that when a blog gets too public, it will be time for some censorship to avoid any stalkers or people to know too much of your personal stuffs. =)
Love ya.
121. Jazz | May 29th, 2008 at 4:57 am
i’ve changed my blog’s url so many times i can hardly remember. now i’m happy keeping myself anonymous, even if no one reads it. it’s nice when you have a readership, when you have people who will listen to you rant about anything and nothing. but it’s even better when you can write what you want, without worrying who will read it, how it’ll hurt others, or when it’ll get back to you.
i’ve had several occasions where i have to apologise to others for what i’ve written, or delete my posts to avoid hurting others. but the worst thing is, i always feel like i’m deleting a vital part of myself when i delete a draft post, or even when i changed my mind not to write about something. holding yourself back is painful, and you should never do that. now that you’re in the public eye, it may seem hard not to censor yourself, but make a few posts private, or accessible only via password.
it’s probably tempting to quit altogether, but there is one good thing about your blog being public to all. and that is the fact that your blog inspires people. “the pen is mightier than the sword”. and it is your words that keeps me going on and feel grateful for the life i’ve been given. you make me feel proud to be a malaysian, and you show the world that teenagers aren’t just rebellious delinquents. they can be responsible, caring, courageous and awe-inspiring.
122. Charlie | May 29th, 2008 at 9:38 pm
I’m very sorry to hear that circumstances have forced you to put a cloak on things you really want to say.. Yeah, it is quite a quandary eh. On one hand you have this prerogative to say whatever you want (because it is after all your blog) and on the other you’re also under obligation to protect people’s feelings and whatnot. But somehow you’ve managed to strike a balance between the two here; I actually really respect that about you. Not many people can or will bother to do that.
Good luck with the reversion! When the very annoying and uninformed flames start to pour in, you can rest assured that your readers will be here to douse them : P
123. mae | May 30th, 2008 at 12:14 am
Hi SuAnn! I only just recently started reading your blog - and I normally don’t comment on the blogs I lurk on. I can only understand your predicament on privacy and what you feel you need to share and what you feel you need to keep as your own.
But what I really felt like I needed to tell you is that despite as much as I’ve read so far, I’ve never had so much respect for a blogger before. I mean you. Keep writing. It’s such a breath of fresh air. I’m so glad I’ve stumbled upon your blog. (Despite the pinkness lol)
124. George | May 30th, 2008 at 12:22 am
pinkskye reader here!! lol
i remember the days of your draco layout hahaha
boy you sure have grown :)
keep on writing, you’re doing a great job
125. stellaboo | May 30th, 2008 at 5:02 am
i’ve only come to know your blog because you linked me once before and i never knew what an honor that was until i started to read your entries.
a mutual friend of ours tells me we are quite alike. and there are times while i am reading your posts and i’d go “oh gosh she took she words right out of my mouth”
im flattering myself ahem dont mind me.
all in all, i love reading your blog and while you have a lot of readers, the blog is yours and you should say what you want you say. please. don’t hold back. don’t be selfish, share :P
(i waited a couple of days after this post has been up hoping no one would see this but you haha *shy*)
126. Freethinker | June 1st, 2008 at 8:54 am
As much as a blog can be as personal as it can be, the restraints one needs to understand on how it will affect and impact others, is still something I found the local blogosphere has yet to capture that principle…
…. or maybe they underestimate how blogs are interlink, one way or another.
127. ria | June 2nd, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Hey Su Ann… as i’ve always said, you’re years younger than me but i’ve always been a fan. =) i started reading you when you were getting only a handful of comments a day but now i go through hundreds. nothing surprising though, as you are such a joy to read. looking foward to reading your blog for many more years.
and yes, i still hope i can meet THE pinkpau in the flesh someday. *huggles* =)
128. Jeff | June 10th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Today had nothing to do, so I kinda took time to read this post..
Indeed it is long.. But somehow it felt short..
Problems and stuffs are one of the usual things we face in life..
However, it varies from the complexity of it..
Yea it’s agreeable that now you’re a CELEBRITY, you have to be careful with the word selection.. However, don’t let that affect what you truly want to blog about.. Put it in this way, You can still BLOG out your true feelings, but there’s always space for you to rephrase words in such, that it’s not so much offensive to people and your faithful readers.. Hey this technique is not too bad, cause at the same time, you get to “see” things from a different perspective and analyze things as well as calm yourself down before rushing into harsh decisions which may cause you to regret later on..
It doesn’t matter how long your rant is, how emo you sound, how terrible people may think you are (of course not until that bad la XD), the thing is no one is perfect.. and why your readers got stuck with ya so long? Coz You’re PinkPau! A pau that’s pink! (okay, that’s lame, but skip it) No matter what you write, it is you who is writing.. and you shouldn’t really change your style of writing for the sake of your fans..
I believe that if you’re unhappy, you just have to “say” it out, and tons of people will come to your comfort.. *winks* Don’t mind what people say about you, but put in mind it is how you react to the matter that will change the rumors around.. ^^
Anyway, I think I’ve crapped ALOT.. so better stop here..
I’ll be back~! LOL xD
PS:We’ll all be right behind ya, backing ya up..
129. Jeff | June 10th, 2008 at 4:33 pm
btw.. forgot one thing.. ter-press the submit button just now *sowwwwieee*
i know you din ask me.. but if you did ask me, i’ll be blogging the same way I started until the day it ends.. maybe with a lil improvising throughout the bloggings.. ^^
there might be stuffs I cant blog about, but surely there’s a way of putting it up without hurting anyone in particular.. like changing the senario wise.. *Once upon a time, in a far far away land….*
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