Optrex
July 3rd, 2008
it’s been long day after long day; the big Columbia clock keeps ticking over my head. i am drowning in to-do lists. my inner child wants to just sleep, but i cant because i am constantly kept awake by the atrocities that happen in our daily lives and the world. why are people hypocritical? why are there political assassinations? why do people fight? why do people get sick? why are principles being discarded? why does spite exist? why are people so concerned with looks and money? why is our air getting hazier? why do the evil and the scheming triumph? does sincerity exist anymore?
my head is swirling with iron deficiency. i havent been eating much lately, either. tomorrow i will be back in the arms of my Martian, and he will make sure i am eating well, but tomorrow feels so far away. i worry the world will implode before then, collapsing into itself from the wretched burden of itself, which means that i will never have my tomorrow. tomorrow, America’s skies will be littered with fireworks; tomorrow, mine will be littered with uncertainties and love. two years ago, i felt this way too. i was bound by the paralysis of caring too much. i was frantic and frightened. i am still.
did you know that it’s already july… doesn’t time fly. i wish time would freeze and i could enjoy chicken wings and la-la at jalan alor forever. have bubbly in bangsar every afternoon until i become one big gas bubble. i also wish i didn’t get hurt so easily. it’s becoming so hard to love people when they all seem so caustic and uncaring.
there was a time where i used to come home from school, eat apples and play Roller Coaster Tycoon. it was a time of fish porridge and pure bliss.
i am tired. i dont feel well.
i have a sudden urge to go swimming.
i have a question. it’s a simple one. what is love?
Entry Filed under: Martianisms, Musings
73 Comments Add your own
1. lishun | July 3rd, 2008 at 6:28 am
*hug*
and love is whatever you want it to be. now go sleep la.
2. The Faux Fashionista | July 3rd, 2008 at 7:15 am
Love is…
Steamboat with a group of rowdy friends on a rainy evening;
Coming home to loving arms at the end of the worst day of your life;
Chinese New Year reunion dinner followed by gambling through the night;
Kissing the boyfriend at the stroke of midnight on New Years Eve;
A plate of nasi kandar for lunch followed by a long nap;
Snuggling under the covers on a rainy Sunday morning with the air-cond still on, knowing that you’ll be going out for Dim Sum brunch with the Family
Reading trashy romance novels while sipping hot cocoa when its snowing outside (MUST TRY when you are in NY!). Snow vs sex = ??? hahahaha
Okla sorry honey but I am no expert so I can’t tell you what love is. All I can say is that it can really hurt, but if you’re able to steel yoursel(ves) and make it through the hardest times, the ending will be totally worth it.
p.s. You very geng, reply to 72 comments!
3. carol | July 3rd, 2008 at 7:29 am
i wil hug you when you get to kuching! lol. meanwhile enjoy being with martian; time is precious and no one knows it better than you at this point in time :)
love is knowing that no matter what happens, there are people who will be at your side through it all =)
please eat and go to sleep okay *echoes lishun* huggles.
4. YM | July 3rd, 2008 at 7:45 am
Love is just like art, undefined, and without forms.
Some may appreciate it, some may not..
Whatever is love, it is still up to you to decide…and to love..
In the end, the answer is not an answer.. :P
5. nyrac | July 3rd, 2008 at 7:53 am
hello su ann. love is whatever you want it to be, i have to agree with lishun. it cannot be put in a better way. sleep and eating right is essential my dear fav blogger, you wouldn’t want to be not feeling well still when you get to columbia.
you said yourself once, you expect lemons too much. probably it’s lemonade in disguise ;) gumption girl, gumption!
to YM: never expected you to be here earlier than me :P just because i woke up late.
6. twinkle | July 3rd, 2008 at 8:27 am
Love is patience… love is kind… it never envy… etc etc (I think it’s in the bible… ) Hehehehe
7. kennysia | July 3rd, 2008 at 8:29 am
love is xiaxue and dawn yang.
8. Jas | July 3rd, 2008 at 8:40 am
Agree with the rest. Love can be anything, as long you can feel warmth, care and feel that time is always never enough… Of course, I’m not referring to your crave for food!
9. cher wee | July 3rd, 2008 at 9:07 am
love is patience…..
10. iamthewitch | July 3rd, 2008 at 9:23 am
Love is knowing that you can give up everything just for that one person to be happy.
11. Dr. Tan | July 3rd, 2008 at 9:25 am
RCT rocks bebeh! But its all too easy to create too intense a coaster.
12. KY | July 3rd, 2008 at 9:57 am
what about George of the Jungle? You left him out!
13. sheon | July 3rd, 2008 at 10:07 am
Love is not receiving, it’s giving and forgiving.
Love is not red roses on valentines day, its the rest of the 364 days of knowing you love someone.
Love is not phone calls and stolen kisses, its the silent smiles in memory of your sweetheart.
Love is not a grand wedding, but spending a lifetime together.
Love is not fight-kiss-n-makeup, its loving the 1 who annoys the hell outta you.
14. Nathan | July 3rd, 2008 at 10:12 am
ur not only one having those thoughts. I do too. just keep on living and do what you can do. peace.
15. kei | July 3rd, 2008 at 10:53 am
love is being able to know you love a person without having to spend 24/7 together !
love is chocolaaaaaaaates
love is fooooood
love is…. hahaha too much lah
yala i know why !! cuz the world is never fair =((
16. Nat | July 3rd, 2008 at 11:02 am
Love is when you’re beside the ones you love. Being alone is miserable
17. almost loved | July 3rd, 2008 at 11:08 am
love is something so sublime that there are no appropriate words to aptly define it. Let love, be love.
18. sieutheng | July 3rd, 2008 at 11:27 am
love is playing heart attack on an island with the bestfrens and having to share our sexual fantasies as penalties. :D
19. voooon | July 3rd, 2008 at 11:44 am
haha i like kennysia’s comments. love is the internet and the iphone and all the hkgirls who never reply =)
20. allen.g | July 3rd, 2008 at 11:52 am
Love is overrated.
Anyways, like your blog a lot. Keep up the good work!!
21. naeboo | July 3rd, 2008 at 12:25 pm
love is having the courage to care for the ppl who might in turn, hurt u.
/hugs
22. Jules | July 3rd, 2008 at 12:43 pm
Love is when you put her on one side of a scale…and everything else on the other. And if you had to make a choice you’d pick her.
When your other half is your priority without being an obsession.
When you put their happiness above yours without expectation.
Its knowing that she will be there for you…to stretch out a hand when you need it, offer a shoulder to cry on, lend an ear to listen, and give a heart wholly and truly without agenda.
That’s Love. A complete trust in someone, knowing that they’ll always be there for you.
It’s also a responsibility. Taking the weight of your choices and feelings…and spending the rest of your time together living up to them. And most importantly, not hurting the object of your love. And that to me is love.
23. Lisa | July 3rd, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Love cant defined in terms of what i love..but in terms of what is not :)…
24. Steven | July 3rd, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Love is … unconditional.
It ain’t otherwise.
25. Yang | July 3rd, 2008 at 3:57 pm
love is
… the lines and lines of caring comments you see on the comment page of their favourite blogger
*cyber hugs :)
26. wenqi | July 3rd, 2008 at 4:26 pm
sigh :(
limsuann.. i thought u knew the meaning of love when i asked you about a week ago… and u told me what u thought it is/was..
sighhhhhh :(
27. Patricia | July 3rd, 2008 at 4:35 pm
love is malaysia politics. blah. :D
28. Artificially Timtam | July 3rd, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Love is watching someone die.
29. spiller | July 3rd, 2008 at 4:52 pm
love is maggie mee
hate is sodo mee
30. foreverjas | July 3rd, 2008 at 6:09 pm
love is … love. lol. i’m leaving to aus next friday. sad ! excited! sad!!
saaad!
31. foreverjas | July 3rd, 2008 at 6:53 pm
omg. y i cant enter the malaysia today site!!!! T.T
32. Michelle | July 3rd, 2008 at 7:21 pm
Love is more than just a game for two. =)
*Quotes Nat King Cole*
I AM BACK!!!
33. Anonymous | July 3rd, 2008 at 8:44 pm
we have to change with change
I’m sure you’ll be alrite
34. thegeekinpink | July 3rd, 2008 at 9:40 pm
love is a broken heart. love is everything but. love is chocolate donuts with powdery sprinkles on a fat day.
ah love just is. love is coming two/three/four/five/ten/twenty/fifity years together. love is friends. love is 33 comments from strangers and friends on a 500 word post.
35. Huai Bin | July 3rd, 2008 at 10:19 pm
From the good book: Love is patient, love is kind etc in Paul’s great chapter of love. Love to me is fleeting, fickle. I’m sorry for being so cynical, but it’s actually not a pessimistic outlook but an optimistic one.
Love ALWAYS comes again.
I wish you well Su Ann.
36. Jared | July 3rd, 2008 at 11:27 pm
Love is….
the master key that opens the gates of happiness
37. k0k | July 3rd, 2008 at 11:54 pm
Love is when a puppy looks up adoringly at you.
Alternatively, Love is when you’re so in love that you won’t even pause to wonder what it is.
Just love, don’t wonder :D
38. cherry | July 4th, 2008 at 12:12 am
I think that quote from Corinthians in the Bible describes love perfectly. I like the part where it says, ‘love is never jealous’
39. khianvoon | July 4th, 2008 at 12:40 am
love is simple things in life
40. Yuhhui | July 4th, 2008 at 12:47 am
Love is emptiness. Love has no inherent existence.
41. queen | July 4th, 2008 at 1:47 am
i agree with kenny sia. love is xiaxue and dawn yang. haha!
42. missy | July 4th, 2008 at 1:55 am
love..
..is eating roti telur when you get cravings at 3 in the morning.
..having chocolate fudge ice cream when its pouring outside.
..is staying up till the whee hrs in the morning talking about nth.
..is sipping teh ice and catching the euro finals altho u don’t give nuts about football.
..driving all the way to some lil roadside stall in kl to have a plate of ‘chao mien’.
love.. is having that someone to share all these lil outings with you.
*huhu sry suann i can only come up with this cause my idea of love is buddies and eating/chilling with them =p
43. reallybites | July 4th, 2008 at 2:27 am
definition of love is endless. whats’ yours?
44. you | July 4th, 2008 at 2:54 am
What is love?
baby don’t hurt me,
don’t hurt me,
no more.
45. pinkpau | July 4th, 2008 at 3:18 am
lishun : sigh. insomnia is back again T___T
the faux fashionista : your life sounds wonderful :) i’m all smiley just reading your comment. oh haha i’m so happy someone recognized my effort with the 72 comments!!
carol : hehe yes he’s sleepign in the next room now. see u in kuching my dear :)
ym : hahahaha why are you so abstract
nyrac : lemonade in disguise!!! hehe i like that.. :) thank u caryn.
twinkle : corinthians 13 :)
kennysia : …. in bed!
jas : food is love when no one else will love u :D
cher wee : not always!
iamthewitch : my definition is very similar to urs :)
dr tan : yaya and laugh in glee when people puke upon exiting the RC.. haha
ky : haha he will be fine after a few minutes of sulking
sheon : I SO HEAR YOU on the last one .. :D
nathan : peace to u too :)
kei : love is chocolates love is food hahaha you are my kinda girl !
nat : agreed :(
almost loved : okay how about the closest or next best definition then?
sieutheng : love is rubbing sunblock on each other wtf ! love is waiting for you even tho u take yonks in the shower so that we can all go for breakfast together!
voon : hahaha hk girls hahahahaa awwww
allen g : aww dont be angsty now! lemme give u a hug!
naeboo : that is so true. sigh. hugs :)
jules : wow that was very well said. i think i wanna send this to my boyfriend :D thank u for ur insight jules
lisa : i dont quite understand .. :\
steven : true love is, yes :)
yang : i felt the same way too :))))
wenqi : i still hold on to that meaning! i just wanna know what everyone else thinks :)
patricia : with or without the anal sex? :D
tamtim : why are you so morbid!
spiller : HAHAHA
foreverjas : they were hacked, but it should be up now
michelle : NASI LEMAK!!!
anonymous : i know i will be :)
thegeekinpink : love is 34 comments ;) and the donuts too!
huai bin : and i wish you unfleeting, unfickle love :) you will find it.
jared : hello are you secretly martian! cos the weirdest thing just happened… okay but if you’re not martian then nvm :P in ref to your answer, love can be sad sometimes too..
k0k : haha nice one. but i guess i’m just a pauseful person ..
cherry : ahh a lesson we could all learn from :)
khianvoon : agreed 100%
yuh hui : then i think we must be experiencing different sides of love .. :) what really is inherent existence? as in tangibility?
queen : … in bed!
missy : hahaha why all your love so foody wan! but i agree :D that’s my kinda love too!
reallybites : mine is .. “to love is to surpass oneself” :) i got that from an oscar wilde book. the best definition i’ve ever heard.
you : haha is that a song!
46. Jeff from LA | July 4th, 2008 at 3:37 am
Don’t let the world get you down Pinkpau! The world is suffering from many problems, and it always has, but the important thing is to focus on doing things we can to help alleviate those problems.
Love is knowing that no matter how bad your day is, no matter what is going wrong in your life, that at the end of the day, there will be someone there to hold you, comfort you, and bring you peace.
When you’re happy, everyone is there for you, but when you’re unhappy/moody/depressed, only the people who really care for you stick around.
47. nyrac | July 4th, 2008 at 6:17 am
eh wtf 3.18am replying all those messages. love is wanting you to go to sleep not replying comments when you should be getting rest!
48. vooooon | July 4th, 2008 at 8:47 am
i know la. doesnt include u. but dont be sad. i can make an exception =)
49. Summer | July 4th, 2008 at 12:11 pm
True love is unconditional. :)
50. Summer | July 4th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
lame
51. pinkshirtz | July 4th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Love is a slow process of losing interest in your partner. Only to be refressed by occasional guilt … sighz …
52. yuhhui | July 4th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Haha.. no, i don’t mean emtpiness as in.. empty. What i meant is… love is percieved in the mind. Everybody has diff perception of it. Pretty hard to explain, but it’s like.. when you clap your hands, it makes a sound right? But then, where the sound goes to? Same goes for .. say, a computer.. A comp is an assembly of parts. But what makes those parts into a comp ?The hard drive? The graphics card? Is my comp still a comp when I find that my hard drive is missing? Love.. is the same. Love requires sensory and mental experiences. Body, sensations, perceptions, mental formations, and consciousness are all interrelated. (assembly of parts) Without the brain, there’s no sensations or perceptions. Without the body, how can the mind function? So.. that is to say.. love has no inherent existence. Er…nvm..i think im thinking too much here. hahhah.
53. aw | July 4th, 2008 at 3:30 pm
What is love?!
Baby don’t hurt me
Don’t hurt me
No more
*bobs head from side to side*
What is love?!
Baby don’t hurt me
Don’t hurt me
No more
*bobs head from side to side*
Oh I don’t know
why you’re not fair
I give you my love
but you don’t care
So what is right
and what is wrong
gimme a sign
*bobs head from side to side*
AHAHAHAHAH
54. Artificially Timtam | July 4th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
DCFC lah
but i believe in it.
55. tze | July 4th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
i don’t know what love is either.
but i think love is being happy. it’s not meant to eat away at your soul.
56. yuhhui | July 4th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
I’ve always loved your writing, and your blog is very unique. Frankly, I admire your looks as well, it is nothing ordinary! Do you mind sharing with your readers what skincare you owe your complexion to? And your beauty regime? =)
57. ap | July 4th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
i used to ponder that question too with my endless suspicions regarding human nature but when i lost the love of someone i knew then for sure that i loved that person. and now i know unrequitted love.
haihh do u feel like the population of pple who care too much is regrettably small…… everyone is holed up in their one man universe (or one family one country one race one species whatever=_____=) so pinkpau u must believe that u are very essential, that the excess of thought and feeling is necessary to balance out the pple who are numbed senseless, even if it makes life that much harder to bear but believe that u are strong enough! i used to have those afternoons with apples too, simple and content with nth that needs to be done but it was too short a time
58. Cutie Knows | July 4th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
Love is da shit that makes life bloom…
59. emz | July 4th, 2008 at 10:26 pm
love is the gooey, sticky… stuff that holds us together. xD
hah! ice age 2 : D
60. Adrian | July 4th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
love is something that you know its there, but u just dont understand.
61. Huai Bin | July 4th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
Thanks Su Ann. I hope I do find it, have been looking for the elusive one in all the wrong places. :)
62. Charlie | July 4th, 2008 at 11:47 pm
Wah.. how to define love man. : S I guess to me the only thing I can say is that it’s the driving force behind everything I do. Love for a state of mind, love for a person la etc. But what it actually is… dunno how to pin it down. Sorry la : ( So frustrating
Eh be careful! People who let the human condition get to them don’t have very long lifespans…
63. yuhhui | July 5th, 2008 at 12:24 am
” I’ve always loved your writing, and your blog is very unique. Frankly, I admire your looks as well, it is nothing ordinary! Do you mind sharing with your readers what skincare you owe your complexion to? And your beauty regime? =) ”
I didn’t write this. I think there’s an error. Someone else wrote it but forgot to erase the name coz the last person name’s on the blog will be used for the next person’s. Hhehe. Just to clarify with you. =) talk about being random. hehe
64. pinkpau | July 5th, 2008 at 4:03 am
yuhhui : that is a VERY weird bug.. it happened on martian’s computer last night as well, where his comment fields showed the info from the last commenter without martian even typing/doing anything. hmmm i gotta check that out. i dont think its happened before
65. estherbobester | July 6th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
love is wonderfulll =)
66. Ping | July 8th, 2008 at 9:11 am
**Scratch head** I thought the comment was successfully posted.
Just posted “Happy Anniversary”
Long time ago, I wrote about what is love. Hmm, there’s so many ways of defining it. I guess love brings out the best and the worst out of each other and makes us understand what we both are capable of. I always wonder why *ehem* seemed to be always the opposite when he’s with me than when he’s with his friends or family e.g. he never show his tired self to them but most often to me. I mind that a lot but then think I’m so silly, it is not because he’s not happy or tired of me, but simply because he is in his true form =)
Sorry, such a long crap from me :P
67. Shaun | July 9th, 2008 at 9:09 pm
Love is finding someone that you think completes your life. Someone who although has hurt you time and again, you find that you cannot live without her.
Love is unconditional. Doing all you can to make your loved one happy and never wanting.
Love is forgoing your dinner and spending you last five dollars on two bottles of herbal tea for flu when she is sick.
Love is the warm-fuzzy feeling you feel in your heart when you see her smile that heart-melting smile of hers.
Love is when you feel that you are able to face everything thrown in your path as long as she is beside you.
Love is even after she has left you for another girl, you never thought that she is to be blamed at all. Even if she never returns to you, you still want to be by her side, supporting her, being there for her whenever she needs.
Last but not least, love is never fair but nevertheless you are still willing to give your all to her.
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