Nostos Day 2 and Beyond
March 24th, 2009
it’s been an abundant time of epiphanies. i’m usually quite convinced that i will never take myself by surprise, but certain vantage points allow me to see beyond my own faculties, and i am startled by the panorama of unexpected things, swirling into each other like mercury, not caring who’s watching. in these moments, i know that i am older. better. stronger. slightly more mature.
today i am aware that i no longer dislike someone. it’s a she. one day ago, i immensely hated her propensity to use other people’s stories and lives as social capital. i used to feel extremely victimized whenever she did that to me, which is often, mainly because it’s been done to me before in a huge blowup of events not too long ago and she was there to see it happen, yet she took over the reins and went on to employ this tasteless tactic. i spent many a day agonizing about this and often wondered if i should continue being friends with this person. i eventually settled on preserving the friendship, but putting myself on guard and never telling her anything substantial about my life. but now i’ve realized, so what if people know shit about my life? it’s not like anything in there is headline-worthy. at worst, i am giving up a small slice of privacy; at best, i am helping someone make friends. that’s not so bad, right? today, i learned to be unselfish with what i have, including my privacy and confidence. today, i am unfixing conditions.
over the past week, i didnt. didnt what? didnt something. and it felt so good. amputation never felt so good. i am so done with all the politics, all the fretting, all the bias and capitalism. someone once said that one day i will stop caring; clearly that day has come. all that remain are the bleak splinters of bastardized loyalty. how grotesque that word looks now, mangled and alien. when i was young, i learned the theory behind the shapelessness of water and how it takes on the shape of its container. i guess that theory pertains to human nature as well — we go with the flow. we bend and yield. we are spineless. it’s a worrying thing, but i reckon that if i come to think of humans as water — renewable, non-living, an impersonal cluster of molecules that have no choice but to be shapeless — i will be carefree.
oh, i also became keenly aware of exactly how many teaspoons of dried chili to use. precisely 3/4 of a teaspoon. but i always forget the lime. it’s just not the same without the lime!!! why do i always forget and rob myself of this simple pleasure!
here are the last of the pictures from my nostos. there are more but i’ve become lazy; i think my indolence is something that will never change despite the most acute of epiphanies. i did not encounter any harpies, but there were definitely many Scylla and Charybdis moments.
#1 did you know that fingerprints fade as you approach your winter years?
#2 he sings along to Hoi Fut Tin Hong
#3 tambah tambah tambah super kebanyakan
#4 fear not the wolf(x)!
#5 :)
#6 absolutely nothing has changed. the bathroom door still needs a swift kick
#7 yolkless. you know how sometimes we say our favorite foods = love? this really is love.
#8 the new road law annoys me. yes i know it’s safer, but still.
#9 kangsane with Mr Emo
#10 STILL EATING SLOW
#11 so nice <3
#12 very pokey
#13 remember, MUST put lime
#14 is it just me or did they shrink? they totally shrunk, right? dont even taste as good anymore. how i bemoan the stark reality of change of standard.
#15 aiyak
#16 flour buns! yours?
#17 haih so nice that bow tie! excellent taste
#18 >_< if you eat cold things will it slide out?
#19 guess what!!
#20 NOTHING like this here in NYC. N-O-T-H-I-N-G.
#21 mai hum mai hum wtf
#22 the time traveler’s…
#23 do you remember when we were 14 and we came here? we took so many pictures. played so much rock fever, para para and DDR. remember the guys behind the counter who always flirted with us and gave us free tokens? everything is obsolete now. everything. my only comfort was that there was never karaoke to begin with.
Entry Filed under: General
39 Comments Add your own
1. skyler | March 24th, 2009 at 7:01 am
1. where do you get lime to go with the dried chilli???? i never get lime
2. my fingerprints are already fading =(
3. ya the new road law need to sit by the window (IN THE SUN T_T) very annoying
2. Tan Yee Hou | March 24th, 2009 at 7:17 am
OOooooo WWQ still eats slowly. I bet she doesn’t fart much : )
3. misshazel | March 24th, 2009 at 7:20 am
19 = cheesy wedges?? lol
4. Jun | March 24th, 2009 at 7:52 am
cupcakes from bisou shrank?? :(((
5. annant | March 24th, 2009 at 8:11 am
#19 cheesy wedges from kfc?
6. Frequent Accidental Passerby | March 24th, 2009 at 9:06 am
you’re transferring university or something?
7. cindy khor | March 24th, 2009 at 9:13 am
hey, cheer up, you don’t have to get upset over some gals who couldn’t control her tongue (or rather actions)… yeah, i do think that maybe sometimes going with the flow isn’t such a bad thing, at least you could still live as yourself and don’t always have to force yourself to try hard and stand out from the crowd.
so fingerprints do fade… i never know that… is that indomee??
8. shadowking | March 24th, 2009 at 9:48 am
wow…
it is always nice to see when somebody feels more grown up and mature. Alot of people say that dont caring is not that good. It would make you dull and feelingless, but i think that not caring is not bad, but on the hand rather good. Just think about it. You are able to not dislike a friend of yours because of not caring. Just not caring is sometimes the easiest way. Lol now that might be totally hated by some people, but i am lazy and i dont care about so many things.
However i still cant see myself as water because there are some things that i just cant stand even if i dont care and there are many things that worry me and I do care about some things. If i had to compare a human to a material I would say it is probably a slimy digusting thing (I dont mean that disgusting. it just fit in there so well and it gave the sentence such a nice sound)
9. hw | March 24th, 2009 at 10:28 am
Eh, how you get free tokens? I liketh the new hoops machines they added =D
mmm nirwana’s and starbucks, my 2 favourite places in bangsar =D
10. minty | March 24th, 2009 at 10:41 am
cheezzzyyy wedges from KFC! my salivary glands are moving into action!
11. sieutheng | March 24th, 2009 at 12:53 pm
eh why r u suddenly so into macro shots now.
what’s #20?! it looks like plain rice but i know sure got udang di sebalik batu wan. what’s beneath those rice?! where to get them?!
no the stud doesnt slide out unless u pull it really hard which will be a very stupid thing to do.
12. carol | March 24th, 2009 at 1:56 pm
#19 mmmmmmmm. actually i do quite like it, contrary to what i know what i’ve said before… :D just, more of the dark orange-yellow and less of the light cream ^^
13. henry D | March 24th, 2009 at 2:28 pm
#21 — mai ham la. wtf.
14. Michelle | March 24th, 2009 at 2:36 pm
I like si hum. My favourite and it is a must to add some more on char kuey teow.
By sharing a bit of yourself, you know a lot more about others.
:)
15. nyrac | March 24th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
#14 if those are from bisou.. i tried them and didn’t like them very much. their fudge brownies taste great with a dollop of haagen dazs though.
#20 i thought that only the restaurant next to my family shop serves rice like that nowadays. i think it’s so cool.
16. Sandra | March 24th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
nice post
17. Artificially Tamtim | March 24th, 2009 at 6:01 pm
#3: SRI NIRWANA!!!! i want deep fried bitter gourd!!!!!
#6: Starbucks B’sar?
18. reallybites | March 24th, 2009 at 7:14 pm
sniff my beloved cktttttttttttttttt. will there be a day 3? are you going to show pics of asam laksa omg
#17 – did you get the bow tie for him?
don’t ever stop caring.
19. iamthewitch | March 24th, 2009 at 7:27 pm
Su Ann, I like your new style of writing. Not immediately like, but after a few posts. It exudes a mysterious, somewhat dark aura. :)
20. KY | March 24th, 2009 at 8:48 pm
Su Ann why you so emo! You have things to tell me, no? :D
21. Voon | March 24th, 2009 at 11:15 pm
Its really odd. like i think its sent from another computer where my msn is signed in. heheh.
how are u? :)
22. Voon | March 24th, 2009 at 11:38 pm
#19 is cheesy wedges :P
23. steph | March 25th, 2009 at 1:54 am
#19 – omg. i haven’t had any in about a year. grr!
24. miss p | March 25th, 2009 at 2:48 am
i always wondered what nostos is. does it mean spring break? holiday?
i wished i knew you in person. that’d be really awesome. :)
25. Josh | March 25th, 2009 at 3:36 am
What I’d give to come home, even though I’ve only been in Melbourne for more than a month. :/
Is that Sieu Theng’s pierced tongue! Haha
26. Anonymous | March 25th, 2009 at 6:19 am
i think nostos = homecoming
27. beverly | March 25th, 2009 at 6:26 am
#13 – that’s a lot of chili! would lime tame the hotness a bit?
28. Grouchy | March 25th, 2009 at 9:26 am
Aiyor! Why you so liddat one? Come back oso didnt look me up! Cheh! I merajuk
29. wenqi | March 25th, 2009 at 11:13 am
ahem….
*still late*
30. Lily | March 25th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
A touch of surrealism. I love that so much…. :) Hope you are free to blog again. Your entries always inspire me. :)
31. Jade Zheng | March 25th, 2009 at 9:01 pm
nice way of writing. creates so much suspense whyyy!? haha.. i like~
32. Nicole | March 26th, 2009 at 7:54 am
I loved the time traveller’s wife. Heartbreaking
33. sheon | March 26th, 2009 at 12:18 pm
#2 : i love that song…its like the november rain equivalent.
#3 : BANANA LEAF RICE!!!! i wanna go brickfields now!!
# 7 : indomee tambah telor…….yum yum. i like ‘em a little dry and firmer.
# 19 : KFC cheesy wedges….i love this too!!!
#20 : there’s a thai restaurant here in alor setar that cooks their rice in mini clay pots. they serve good thai fish, and otak otak. if you have the chance to drop by alor setar…….
# 21 : ai hum ai hum…..mai ah neh sek!!!
34. Lalita | March 26th, 2009 at 4:20 pm
You fortunate girl! Went back to Malaysia huh … I’m longing, longing, longing la. Banana rice – I WANT!!! And yummy, KFC cheesy wedges. That alone is a good incentive to get hubby to want to go back with me! Great stuff that.
35. amy | March 26th, 2009 at 5:57 pm
a joke i heard from my friend:
what did the black eyed peas say to the char kueh tiaw man?
mai hum mai hum mai hum!
36. Simon Seow | March 30th, 2009 at 6:24 pm
Do you know that 988 DJ KK changed the lyrics of My Hump to Ka Hum lol
37. De | April 1st, 2009 at 9:07 am
This is my first time reading your blog.
I love the way you put your life into words. Splendid.
38. HQ | April 12th, 2009 at 1:29 am
First time here.Read the entry about your onset of epiphanies which brings me loads of thoughts on my current detrimental putrefied friendship that has been demonizing me for months.And ’she’ is the being that really brings challenge to my mere integrity in trust,belief,and faith into someone that has been pish-toshing me for years…Pardon for my language here..cz i find some relation here..(WTF)..
I admire your bravery in opening yourself and wrote everything with great vent..
you wrote: ….someone once said that one day i will stop caring; clearly that day has come. all that remain are the bleak splinters of bastardized loyalty. how grotesque that word looks now, mangled and alien. ….(agreed)
and this is the time for us to learn and mend our complexion..life sux..but it’l be more sux if one doesn’t unbend the course of life..
Here i would wana say..i’m proud of you! =)
39. poop | May 6th, 2009 at 9:43 am
you have a great blog!
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