C’est là que j’ai trouvé l’amour
May 27th, 2009
many months ago, i went to london to find love. distraught, stung and exhausted, i dug myself little tunnels to escape the stale noise that for so long had threatened to wear off my skin layer by layer until nothing could possibly be left. yet even in the subterranean quiet my ears would still ring and i would find myself kicking frantically from reflex and ritual. how how how do i move? am i searching for something similar or something different? i did everything within my fortitude to crush everything into one fist — i sang on trains, i drank horrible mulled wine, i tried not to cry, i cried, i bought a remote-controlled helicopter. but did i find love in london? no. so i went to barcelona. a hundred thousand dusty alleys snaking through the passeig de gracia revealed nothing; even the favorite gelato stand at its main artery was helpless. i fretted as i descended the winding stairs at la sagrada familia, nervously keeping my eyes fixed on the chalky graffiti scratched onto the stone walls. i was in a cavern! a vandalized test tube! air could run out soon. i was to die before i could see my quest to the end. had i become desperate? i fled with fear and petulance to the mediterranean sea, and one day i will tell you about it, how i kicked off my shoes, laughed, and jumped in, getting salt water all over my jeans, my top, my hair and my lips. i liked it best on my lips; although i forcefully seized number one, i secretly adored number two. how do i describe that moment in time, that sharp slice of realization as i leaped into the freezing winter waves? it’s a little bit like getting your nose flicked — i was likewise startled, scared, and felt some pain. briefly, i had glimpsed love. on the empty shores, beneath the catalan gray skies, with sand between my toes, i glimpsed it just so briefly.
last weekend, i went to paris to find love. i found it.
Entry Filed under: Musings
45 Comments Add your own
1. Zeek | May 27th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
Bonjour Madamoiselle,
Ca va?! Good to know you’re enjoying yourself in Paris. C’est beau, n’est pas?! Did you go to Versailles? Summer is the best time to check out the gardens.
A bientot!
2. Michelle | May 28th, 2009 at 12:00 am
You’ll always have Paris.
:)
3. Michelle | May 28th, 2009 at 12:20 am
I love you pinkpau. You just gave me an idea for my FINAL creative writing assignment.
I got only a H3 for creative non fiction. I think I am not doing enough!
T_T
4. Caffy | May 28th, 2009 at 2:05 am
Beautiful. You have a real knack of describing an emotion.
5. nyrac | May 28th, 2009 at 2:22 am
sigh i love your writing.
6. songjun | May 28th, 2009 at 2:36 am
woi DIM SUM MOU
7. Patricia | May 28th, 2009 at 2:45 am
i double love your writing :)
btw, what camera are you using? i love the pictures it takes! (and of course the photographer’s skills lah)
8. xiao | May 28th, 2009 at 4:02 am
i might just give up writing because i feel like i’ll never reach you :(
i kid. but i do love your writing oh so much!
9. Eve | May 28th, 2009 at 4:23 am
so nicely written..:)
10. carol | May 28th, 2009 at 4:26 am
i iz wants to go to paris too T___T
remote-controlled helicopter? eh where is it now :P
11. elle | May 28th, 2009 at 5:43 am
I like how when you write something you give us enough but never give us all. It’s a beautiful talent.
12. fatcat | May 28th, 2009 at 5:45 am
Paris… :) My love is in Japan and HK though.
13. CloudyRainbows | May 28th, 2009 at 7:16 am
Although as a reader and I’m just watching from afar I could almost feel the warmth you exuded while writing this post. I’m happy for you.
14. minty | May 28th, 2009 at 7:41 am
that’s a well written post. =)
15. sheon | May 28th, 2009 at 9:23 am
OMG!!! dun tell me, you found the holy grail?!?!?!!?
16. missfiona | May 28th, 2009 at 9:59 am
how do you write so lovely post???
how how how
17. tamago | May 28th, 2009 at 10:42 am
pinkpau do us a favour and pleeease write a book! :D
i wish you all hapiness!
18. daniel | May 28th, 2009 at 10:59 am
I was in Grenoble for 1 month. That was probably the best month of my life up till now.
19. cel | May 28th, 2009 at 5:50 pm
bon chance!
20. pinkpau | May 28th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
zeek : haha tres bien! comment allez vous? un deux trois quartre cinq… nope i didnt go to versailles, but i did go to the tuileries! :P
michelle : glad to be of service! what is an H3? man creative non fiction is my favorite genre to write.
caffy : thank you :))
nyrac : blush :) eiii lets talk on gtalk soon. i’m very free now!! :D
songjun : you come here MOU
patricia : hahaha yes yes it’s all photographer skill :P i’m using the ixus 75i. it’s pretty old in the market (2 years) but it does the job!
xiao : haha plss. i bet you write much better than i do :)
eve : thank uu :))
carol : HAIH dont ask. tragic story kehrol. i bought it, along with a couple of really nice london travel guides… and then i LEFT the bag at the department store. -_-
elle : thank u :) such kind words.
fatcat : situational or person attribution? :P
cloudyrainbows : thank u :) i needed it.
minty : thanks! :))
sheon : HAHAHA eh i actually went to the st sulpice to look for the rose line okayyyy
missfiona : i dont usually remember.. writing posts like these feels trancelike sometimes.
tamago : oh i wish i could.. but i’m far from that kind of caliber!
daniel : i just googled pictures of grenoble. wow.
cel : merci beaucoup!!
21. nyrac | May 28th, 2009 at 9:46 pm
eh ya lah you could like publish a book of your blogs or something. if a local chinese blogger can do it i’m sure you’re way more than qualified to do so!
gtalk? but i never see you online… someday ok! ;)
22. Michelle | May 28th, 2009 at 10:24 pm
A b minus. 60-65
23. carol | May 28th, 2009 at 10:55 pm
HAHAHAHA that is the story of your life, lsa :P
24. KY | May 28th, 2009 at 11:02 pm
so JUST GIVE ME THE REMOTE CONTROLLED HELICOPTER NOW!
:D
25. Gin | May 28th, 2009 at 11:35 pm
NO LOR DONT GIVE KY give me better. mieh
and wtffff i was just telling fugz abt how sad i am cannot see britney spears in concert and then i see your plurk!! *dies*
26. t | May 29th, 2009 at 5:27 am
how tragic and wonderful at the same time. but why find love and not let love find you instead?
27. mac | May 29th, 2009 at 8:22 am
i am so glad …
28. cindy khor | May 29th, 2009 at 8:35 am
seems like you love paris, because my boyfriend was ranting the other day about how much he hates paris and loves barcelona… i think i’ll go with your idea..
29. Whoopee Lane | May 29th, 2009 at 9:24 am
Very beautifully written. Makes me want to jump on a plane and go anywhere it will take me.
30. lacey | May 29th, 2009 at 11:07 am
are you in london now? i think i just saw you shopping at covent garden! were you wearing a white dress?
31. Jeff from LA | May 29th, 2009 at 7:38 pm
So I guess Paris was aptly named when they called it “The City of Love.”
I’m happy that you’re happy Pinkpau =).
32. foreverjas | May 29th, 2009 at 9:51 pm
awwwwww. love you!!! lol. i wanna go to paris and london!
33. Alynna | May 29th, 2009 at 9:54 pm
Ah, je suis tres jalouse. Je suis jamais alle a Paris. Un jour, un jour…
(I’m very jealous. I’ve never been to Paris. One day, one day)
How was the Louvre? And the glass pyramid? I love talking about it, even though I’ve never been there.
Is that la Seine? :)
34. Zeek | May 29th, 2009 at 11:25 pm
je suis bien aussi, merci! six, sept, huit, nerf, dix! lol. I went to Versailles and did not go to Tuileries. So many things to see, so little time. Post some pictures, alrite?!
35. Andrew | May 30th, 2009 at 5:38 am
how do u write so beautifully. i’m jealous! glad u found what you’ve been looking for!
36. fatcat | May 30th, 2009 at 11:42 am
LOL! Mostly situational… but my bestest bestest bestest (to power of infinity) friend lives in hk so hk is very special to me. :)
37. Lily | May 30th, 2009 at 10:34 pm
Hello! How is London like? If you could describe it in one word,what would it be? :P
38. Jun | May 31st, 2009 at 5:46 am
my heart tingles with longing and excitement for u every time i read ur musings. u r truly amazing :)
39. clem | May 31st, 2009 at 8:58 am
j’adore ta écriture aussi.
40. Dan-yel | May 31st, 2009 at 11:56 pm
Haha… Great pun, Su Ann. You indeed had found love… Have you visited mona lisa?
41. LJY | June 1st, 2009 at 6:22 am
Where’s the ‘click to favourite’ button for this post? :(
42. yh | June 1st, 2009 at 7:38 am
:)
43. illy | June 3rd, 2009 at 5:42 pm
beautiful, i love paris too, but it’s so expensive to b there, i only enjoyed non-material stuff, like sightseeing which is invalueble. food is great, but hv to b budgetted. u r lucky u r a rich little smart kid.
44. idunnolol | June 7th, 2009 at 1:17 pm
#43 amazing how good life can be to some people!
young ,rich , smart , good looking !
the only thing she lack is spiritual belief.
pray to the Invisible Pink Unicorn and your life will bet complete
45. steph | June 15th, 2009 at 10:20 am
paris is gorgeous. i have a pic of the louvre almost identical to the one u posted!
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