so my finals begin in 3 days’ time, my unpreparedness is of epic proportions, i just heard the “it’s been a great year, guys” speech from my RA, i have to be outta here by noon on the 16th of may or my college is going to fine me a hundred bucks for every hour i fail to comply, i am growing older by the minute as i type this, and my freshman year is ending in a matter of two weeks. i would love to pause and reflect on what a wonderful/awful year this has been, and tell you all about the college i’ve never found the time to blog about, maybe even put up a picture of my room which i said i would put up but never did … but i am FREAKING OUT. TIME, STOP. JUST STOP.

it’s such a cliche but my first day in columbia really felt like just yesterday. i was wide-eyed but businesslike. i remember checking off a list of things to do in my head as i ran down College Walk to go get my student ID. when i held the card in my hands, i thought, this is it? then i went up to my room. the 14th floor looked so sunny. my room was airy and spotless. the first thing i did was search the walls for the LAN cable outlet, then i opened up my luggage and moaned to Smartypants and Martian that maybe i shouldnt have brought so many shoes. it was nice having the both of them there with me — Smartypants fretted so much that i didnt need to do it myself, and Martian was as always my voice of calm and order. oddly, i dont remember the first night i fell asleep in my dorm room. i dont think i missed home at that time. yet i dont remember feeling excited either. come to think of it, i dont remember much of my first week at college. the more i struggle to remember, the more the already dusty memories seem to fall away. but i guess that’s not important. they’ll come back to me in time. they always do.

i’m happy to report that i’ve only gotten locked out of my dorm room twice. though the first time was in the middle of winter and i was wrapped in only a towel. S, who’s a real darling, lent me his jacket so that i could walk to Housing not semi-nude. the second time i got locked out was an important day, but that’s a story for another time. remind me. the keyword is heavy-hearted goodbye.

sigh, freshman year. one day i’d like to share with you all the Retrospective essay i wrote for a writing class, about my freshman year. but i’ll only share it with you if i get an A+ on it :)

some pictures of funny things around campus:

#1 this is O, a guy from my lit class, and his totally cool breast cancer awareness tshirt :P

#2 a funny poster in a suite that my floormates and i randomly burst into one drunk night. the door was unlocked so we went in and looked at people sleeping and took stupid pictures of their stuff. hahaha. and then my cell phone rang REALLY LOUDLY when we were in the midst of doing that…… but none of the residents woke up. wtf. anyway the poster should be put up on passiveaggressivenotes.com

#3 not so passive aggressive notes

#4 i really liked this poster cos it sounded like something i would say!! i like to point my finger at people’s faces and imperiously announce, emily yoon, dont be a baboon. or, roborovski, dont be a toucan. or, aira amira, dont be a parrot. hahaha.

#5 a graded problem set from my calc class with a response from the TA in red ink. i cracked up for like 5 minutes. the TAs who grade our homework usually write in big red ink on the front “STAPLE THIS!!!!!” if we dont staple our work. some people never staple their stuff despite repeated implorations, so sometimes the warnings get a little bit ruder

#6 found in a stairwell in one of the dorms…

#7 haha kingsmen posters are always the funniest. do you guys remember the vas deferens poster i put up once? the kingsmen is an all-male acapella group on campus, and their posters are all notoriously misogynistic. their concerts are as well — the last one i went for, they sang Enormous Penis by Da Vinci’s Notebook. hilarity!

#8 something that a friend wrote on my wipeboard lah. haha i like to force my friends to understand me when i speak in manglish, especially when i’m agitated and i cant really be bothered to force my speech into an American accent — srsly that can feel like the most restrictive thing ever. so if i can understand your accent, you should understand mine too!!! okay anot?

#9 HAHAHA this is a picture of my calculus professor that one of my floormates drew on his own wipeboard — he’s taking ODE with that same professor this semester. i really hated my calc class so i couldn’t hold back my giggles when i saw this. the prof actually DOES look like that… :P

#10 this is F from writing class, and no, he’s not a teacher :P our teacher was really late one day, so F just got up and started conducting a mini review session, cos that’s what we do almost every class anyway. we review what goes into motive and thesis, what goes into intro, what goes into body, what goes into conclusion… blablabla

#11 MG’s stoopid shirt. we totally hate each other

#12 i love CU because people are in denial!

#13 ahha an election campaign poster by a party running for student council. they really do have two asian girls! another one of their posters say “James Franco, CALL ME!!!” ya, everyone here has a James Franco story. his first couple of weeks here he kept studying in the most crowded lounge of our main library for some reason, so people kept going up to him to ask for pictures. i think he realized very late into the semester that we actually have quieter reading rooms and like a dozen other libraries scattered around campus…

#14 another hilarious kingsmen poster. Take Back the Night was an event that the women’s college across the street organized to raise awareness against sexual harassment and rape. so this was the kingsmen’s response to it. hahaha seriously who comes up with this stuff?!

#15 THIS IS MY FAVORITE. it’s a poster of Ninja Tips for Healthy Living on one of my floormates’ closet doors. it’s so freaking funny. let me share some with you:
- exercise is important, but jogging is for wimps. plenty of exercise can be had leaping from bushes and kicking joggers in the head.
- laughter is medicine. ninjas practice the art of inappropriate laughter. laughing when hearing about cancer also shows the ninja’s strength.
- ninjas occasionally, without warning, stab friends with throwing stars. life is random. ninjas embrace this fact of life.
- samurais are the source of much stress for ninjas. they think they’re soooooo cool with their armor and swords and those awesome helmets. it’s in a ninja’s best interest not to think about such things.
- when eating the still beating heart of an enemy, ninjas eat it all. there are starving ninjas in africa who dont have any hearts to eat.
– fiber in your diet is important. ninjas eat the shirt off a complete stranger’s back at least once a week.
- killing the wrong person happens. ninjas know this. that’s why it’s useless to live in the past.

hehe. okay. back to studying. wish me luck for my finals!!! if i flunk out of college, life isn’t going to be pretty.