Eschatology
June 2nd, 2009
time traveling is over, kiddos. it’s back to earth and real timezones now, or more accurately, it’s back to a single timezone, where i alone reside. i left london prematurely. that means a lot of things are no longer happening, among which are the Britney concert i was going to attend on wednesday night, visits to Cambridge and Manchester to see Voon and Emily respectively, and a lifetime. but there will always be new lifetimes, hopefully happier ones.
i’m writing this on the plane. the flight is taking longer than it should be, and i have a feeling i’m going to miss my transit flight out of Singapore, but the bright side is that i can hang out around Changi for a bit. i’ve missed Changi — trees of many memories grow there for me. my favorite one is the memory of the airport clinic; that doctor was the brusque one who didnt nag. streams of sunlight are flooding the cabin right now. Lenny is bathed in a pool of that golden stuff but he remains fast asleep. he bared his tummy to me earlier as consolation, and i rubbed it, but it just wasnt the same.
i am confused at the lack of conflict i am feeling. i must have really psyched myself out to the point of numbness. but you see, the point here is that i am okay. i dont care what anybody says about the destruction that lies in the wake of always expecting the worst — the truth is that you always emerge prepared to handle the hardest of times. do you remember the time you weren’t prepared? do you remember how you felt like you wanted to die? see, right now, all i’m feeling is that i just had the wind knocked out off my stomach. this constant sinking feeling. shards of heart. dusty dreams. it’s still not a very pleasant combination, but at least it’s all physiological. and it’s a lot better than feeling like i want to die. it’s also better than a lifetime of dying bit by bit every day.
in two hours, i will be back in the arms of the people who truly love me and would never hurt me the way i’ve been hurt today.
edit: i am home now :) CALL ME, FOLKS.
Entry Filed under: Musings
37 Comments Add your own
1. Michelle | June 2nd, 2009 at 11:46 am
Yes, i’ve felt like dying sometimes because of the unexpected moments and all the estimations i’ve made turned out to be wrong.
but that’s life and without these surprises that may blast your head, what is life then?
2. Michelle | June 2nd, 2009 at 11:46 am
How is airplane food btw?
3. KY | June 2nd, 2009 at 2:06 pm
JOM MAKAN
4. Z | June 2nd, 2009 at 2:27 pm
Welcome back Pau! :)
5. kreazi | June 2nd, 2009 at 3:16 pm
welcome home su ann… home is where you’ll receive unconditional love.. and home is also where you’ll always be accepted and loved no matter you’re in a good shape, or in a really bad shape :) wish i’m in kl so that we could meet up :)
6. cher wee | June 2nd, 2009 at 4:16 pm
welcome back to Malaysia, update ur blog more frequent k….:P
7. foreverjas | June 2nd, 2009 at 5:58 pm
admire that u’re home. take care :) eat mua eu chicken + ginger! yummy and it really helps! enjoy your time in malaysia!!! ^^
8. lishun | June 2nd, 2009 at 6:01 pm
i only have your US tel no. bah. i think you have my cell no though, correct? call meeeeeee. come to serembaaaaaaaan.
9. Jun | June 2nd, 2009 at 6:17 pm
it’s always good to be back amongst loved ones. how long will u be home for?
10. reallybites | June 2nd, 2009 at 6:23 pm
welcome back! heh
take care okay!
11. ShaolinTiger | June 2nd, 2009 at 7:02 pm
Welcome home!
12. missfiona | June 2nd, 2009 at 7:36 pm
omg u r home now! more pics of u around familiar sights!
13. cindy khor | June 2nd, 2009 at 8:37 pm
home is always the best. good for you and your soul and your tummy… i will be planning my home trip soon.
14. mac | June 2nd, 2009 at 8:51 pm
but i don’t have your number :( .. hee hee, enjoy yourself now that you are home …
15. tamago | June 2nd, 2009 at 11:38 pm
welcome back! wish i knew you personally to meet up and cheer you up! :D
16. howzan | June 3rd, 2009 at 12:13 am
welcome home ninja!
ops…i forgot. it’s just your first year. sigh…
17. sweatlee | June 3rd, 2009 at 1:38 am
CALL ME MY LOVE AT 1800-CALL-ME-SEXY wtf
come online la i dont have your number and i dont even know my own number wtf
18. carol | June 3rd, 2009 at 3:31 am
/wiggles
<3
faster go eat food.
19. Voon | June 3rd, 2009 at 4:51 am
BOO! come visit me in sarawak. want or not?
20. carol | June 3rd, 2009 at 5:24 am
voon i keep forgetting that you are from sarawak /shy
21. CC | June 3rd, 2009 at 1:49 pm
does that mean more frequent updates? YAY!
welcome back =)
22. fatcat | June 4th, 2009 at 12:04 pm
Hi su ann! Home’s the best!
I love changi too. But am staying away from it cause of H1N1. T_T
23. Alynna | June 4th, 2009 at 1:09 pm
Hope you’re feeling better!
24. sheon | June 4th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
i tried calling..but then i realized i dun have your number. dang.
welcome home girl…..
25. pinkpau | June 4th, 2009 at 3:20 pm
michelle: i like the nice surprises i guess :) airplane food is the same ole stuff.
KY: YAAAA
z : thank u :))
kreazi : you’re right :) and come to kl …!!!!
cher wee : will try :P been too busy soaking up home these days to blog, even.
foreverjas : hehe i’m much better now! it usually goes away after a while. but what is mua eu chicken?
li shun: i have both ur cell and ur house number! has ur cell number changed?
jun : 3 months :)
reallybites : ITS SO GOOD TO BE BACK. what picture shall i send u this time :P
shaolin: thank u!! :)
miss fiona: i keep forgetting to put my SD card into my cameraaaa
cindy khor : hehe! have fun planning!
mac: i thought you said you were just being polite :P
tamago : haha that isnt too difficult to arrange
howzan : i actually miss college…
sweatlee : come online dont see you also!
carol : I HAVE :D
voon: WANT!
CC : i certainly hope so…!
fatcat : haha i came from the hub of it! well not mexico, but the other hub — nyc! changi seems safe?
alynna : i am! thank u :)
sheon : haha dummy. send me yours!!
26. mac | June 4th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
ha ha … check mail
27. sha | June 4th, 2009 at 11:56 pm
welcome back!! =)
28. Kester | June 5th, 2009 at 6:30 am
Hey Su Ann, I’ve been admiring ur writing prowess for quite a while :)… but I’ve just realized that I’ve never posted here before… and so, since ur back home – welcome back! (you must be like… who in d world’s Kester hah).
29. Simon Seow | June 5th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
SMSed you :p
30. yeo shi wei | June 7th, 2009 at 12:26 am
hey, finally found u….ur blogs is too long…will read it when i got time…
31. Voon | June 7th, 2009 at 2:26 am
can can. im going to kl on the 5th. u can come before that. haha
32. Bernard | June 7th, 2009 at 8:12 pm
i am officially jealous.
33. 7ScrewsLoose | June 8th, 2009 at 1:01 am
I hope ur still around!!!
I lost your number when I changed my phone!! I’m sorrry =(
plss still be around!! I will find ur number somewhere!!
34. Ren | June 8th, 2009 at 1:05 am
Welcome back and great to see you yesterday.
35. curryegg | June 8th, 2009 at 1:14 am
Welcome back pinkpau… ;)
36. Huai Bin | June 8th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
I’m sorry to hear that Su Ann. It was good to meet you Saturday. :)
37. goingkookies | June 10th, 2009 at 11:20 am
welcome back!! ur entries off late sounds rather melancholic/serious ish. hope you’ll have a swell time back in home sweet home!! =)
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