while walking through campus today, i saw a little kid pummeling down the walkway on his plastic tricycle, tilted forward like a colorful torpedo!, as his dad strolled alongside. i wanted to quickly bend and take a picture, yet it felt disrespectful of the moment, so i just walked and watched. when we all shored upon the stone steps outside the library — me, the dad, the kid and his tricycle — the boy got off his vehicle so that his dad could carry it down the steps. but he also held on to one handlebar as he tottered down the steps, while his dad held on to the other handle, and they both lifted the proud tricycle down the steps ceremoniously and carefully.

i really liked that. for 11 years, i went to a school where little kindergarten children were driven up to the gates in big, glossy cars driven either by uniformed chauffeurs or curly haired, clackety-heeled young mothers who would gather around in a perfumed gossipy gaggle after they’d walked their children to the classrooms. these same children had their bags carried up to the classroom for them either by accompanying maids, or said pin-neat perfection mothers. during recess, their maids would bring them lunch in tiffin carriers, and often feed them, as they grumpily ate, fidgety and itching to join their friends at the quad. of course, not many students at our school were like this — i think the tendency falls more towards the younger generations of our institution — but nevertheless there were some older kids that displayed teenage versions of such behavior too. mostly they came in the form of self-entitled kids who would say things like, “you think my parents never pay school fees ah?”

money is a good thing to have, but it’s a better thing to have when you can bring up your children to still be kind and gracious in the midst of such abundant blessings and opportunities. i recently discovered that the grandson of singapore and hong kong’s largest property developers goes to school here, but he’s one of the humblest and nicest people i’ve ever met. my boss from a previous internship came from a very affluent family, but the heritage was never apparent; quite the opposite in fact. i used to find it so amusing when i went with him for meetings at clients’ offices, and he’d get very excited when he saw that there was free parking in the building. omg su ann! free parking! YES! likewise, there were the little kids in my school who quickly learned to be embarrassed of their wealth, and would hurriedly grab their schoolbags and run into the school building after saying thanks to their drivers.

i’ve been missing my grandmother a lot lately. i had a truly awful night last night and all i wanted to do was curl up in bed and talk to my grandmother in (broken) cantonese. when i was younger and did that all the time (i was a crybaby… actually i still am), she would make me marmite soup and pat me to sleep. when i woke up, there would be barley boiling on the stove in that little pot that always looked like it was going to fall apart. when you make barley, you need to use ping tong (rock sugar), she would say. so there was always a packet of rock sugar in the pantry, which i liked to steal from. the little tablets of sugar were like sweets! and i used to do the same with the rice from the rice cooker — open the steamy thing and steal bits of rice with my fingers. once, my grandmother was having dinner with my aunts, and she loudly exclaimed, “hah! i think we have a mouse in the kitchen that’s been stealing food (”tau yeh sik”), because there are always little holes in my freshly cooked rice! one day i’m going to catch this mouse and punish it!” i remember feeling very indignant -_____- catch me! you will never!

i wonder what my grandmother is doing now. it’s about 7 A.M back at home which must mean she’s just about to get up.

my grandmother has never been the kind of grandmother to bring me food at school, or walk me up to my school gates, mostly because my parents never encouraged that sort of behavior. i remember once i had an issue at school over something fairly bureaucratic, and i wanted my mother to do something about it. at my school, Parents Complaining is a big event, always spoken of in somber tones, and it’s the trump card of any student’s affair with the administration. but my mom would have no such thing. if i recall correctly, she told me to grow up and handle things on my own if i really wanted the problem solved. tough love. but the right kind.

family’s such a strange thing sometimes, but it’s always just there, orbiting around everything else that happens. my roommate has consistent screeching fights with her mother over the phone, and each time she does, i’m always glad that my parents and i dont have a stretched relationship. we barely fight, and my parents are reaching that mango-ey stage where they’re trying to act cute all the time. despite the excessive freedom that they’ve given us, and it’s excessive enough to let any child go wayward, i think all three of us turned out pretty okay. pretty darn good, in fact, if you disregard the occasional lack of concern for authority :) we each know what we want and how to get it, but we dont forget what’s important.

we’re moving in December! i only have two weeks off during winter break, because we only get three weeks this year and i’m spending one of those in Honduras (very excited about this). i’m debating if i should go home for the house-warming. what’s a house-warming without me there!!! but i’m afraid going home for two weeks isn’t worth the airfare, and that i should probably spend the two weeks somewhere closer to NYC. like, New Jersey or something. WTF. but i miss home :( and my family.

here are some pictures of children, fun and fall leaves. i’ve been through many so months of fall leaves but i still get so thrilled by the colors, the crunch, and their carefree flitting.