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Archive for 2010

Be Mrs Robinson If You Want

i always say that i will learn how to just blog whenever i want to, instead of accumulating stories or leaving my thoughts to marinate for too long — but i never do. which has resulted in a blog that’s been stagnant for the most part as of late. some days i toy with the idea of shutting down quaintly.net, but almost immediately it morphs into something quite comical. i think i’m just pathologically lazy (and a procrastinator). and like the rest of us who are growing up, i’m spending less and less time on the internet, and more time in the real world. also, less and less time in my own head, and more time in the real world. it’s a strange feeling. i’m perpetually feeling like i’m out of my element and drifting away. but the dreams that come to me in the spidery threads of the early mornings have been keeping me true to myself. today i dreamt that we were both in the same store, and as i was leaving and he was entering, we caught each other’s eyes. no hugs, kisses, nothing. just a sky blue tshirt and two smiles- but before i knew it we were fighting and a slap was thrown. a stunned face. and then i woke up to the most comfortable bed in the world, and a sensation that felt dangerously like a heart attack.

i’m learning to do lots of things, as well as unlearning. i’m learning how to hold back from saying too much, yet unlearning how to be cynical and suspicious of people’s intentions. they kind of work in opposite directions but i dont think it’s impossible to strike that balance if i can find the right force to use on both sides of the equation. okay bye late for dinner.

16 comments June 23rd, 2010

What

does one do on days like these?

25 comments June 19th, 2010

Friday Already?

thanks everyone, for all the lovely comments about Kafka :) i gave him Kafka on the Shore by Murakami the other day, as an insight into his new moniker. but really, once upon a time, in our first gchat conversation, he referred to giant cockroaches as ‘Kafkaesque’ and it made me laugh.

i have a midterm on monday so i’m in my usual reading room at the wonderful Butler Library (recently placed on CampusGrotto’s Most Beautiful College Libraries of the U.S. list — see #4. though i am sure we deceptively earned our spot). i’m wearily crunching numbers and squeezing as many optimal bundles as possible out of the Lagrangian, and by crunching numbers, i mean procrastinating. i actually haven’t gotten very much done at all, and already i’m contemplating ditching the stacks for dinner and drinks. it is friday night after all……. but then there’s a guy behind me who is hard at work creating the most comprehensive set of notes you’ll ever see. it looks award-winning and quite intimidating. so i guess i’m staying in…

but not without sharing some funnies!

first, for all Little Mermaid fans, especially those who know all the words to the movie by heart:

and a cute conversation with my dad, after an average of two emails a week for the past month asking me to buy him an iPad (and i DID):

dad: your papa wants this… http://www.apple.com/iphone/design/#design-video
me: hehe i am getting mine in 2 weeks!
dad: buy one for me
me: no money ah… very broke lately
dad: dun be so bad… get me one. I really want it.
me: WOW YOU WHAT ALSO WANT! SUPER GREEDY LOR. u think money grow on trees is it???
dad: How can you say your father GREEDY. I am SAD !
me: so fierce for what…
me: hellooooo
(no reply)

and today i went to the bank only to find out that my malaysian credit cards no longer work. WTF. lesson of the day: parents are expensive and very sulky, so don’t buy any.

also, kakicucuklangit recently told me that Istana Budaya is staging Tun Mahathir the Musical. i froze, processed it, and then dissolved into uncontrollable giggles for about 5 minutes before going on twitter, plurk and facebook to announce it to my friends. i’m SO EXCITED but incredibly bummed that i won’t be in KL to watch it when it opens in September. like i keep saying – it has such creative potential! bound to be the hiroshima of humour if the right people were allowed to develop the script. but alas, we all know none of that is happening. so we cracked our own jokes in anticipation. some samples:

me: THEY’RE MAKING TUN MAHATHIR THE MUSICAL????? HAHAHAHAHA
response 1: it’s titled RENT(seeking)
response 2: now the question is .. will ur tickets be subsidized?
response 3: the tickets won’t be subsidized. in fact they will raise prices for it and offer protection by slapping ridiculous taxes on foreign musicals
response 4 : i can see it now – there will be a song titled: (If They Can Make Avatar) They Can Do Anything
response 5: I’d go just to hear the so-do-mi chorus.
response 6: it will be sellout shows by phantom watchers
response 7: dilemma: protagonist says he owns the land the stage was built on
response 8: dont forget the crooked stage
response 9: “mahathir mahathir… he reminds me of a look-east story!”

hahahahaha. oh. /dabs at tears of joy

lastly, i’ve been catching up on Glee episodes, and really loved that episode called Bad Reputation! the show’s been getting a little redundant but this episode blew it all out of the water for me. it featured all these gloriously tacky songs like Physical by ONJ, Can’t Touch This by MC Hammer, Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice and Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler!!!! excitedly, i plurked about it, and Alvin then showed me the funniest/weirdest ever cover of Total Eclipse of the Heart that you will ever watch, performed by Hurra Torpedo, a Norwegian band that plays using kitchen appliances. my favourite dude, by far, is the headbanging percussionist:

okay, great. library admin just walked in to say that the library closes in 20 minutes. blasted summer school schedule- i’ve barely gotten any work done! so much for studying all night so i can guiltlessly watch US vs England tomorrow. boo, bring back the 24-hour library schedules :( but then again it is friday night…

18 comments June 11th, 2010

Kafka

new york: i once heard in a song that these streets will make you feel brand new. i often stumble onto the cobblestone looking for nothing in particular (many times bleary with sleep or indifference) – but sometimes, just sometimes, i emerge holding something rare. as always, i was late that afternoon. i think i made up a silly excuse about a problem set i had yet to finish, when i’d actually finished it the night before. see, there are times when you know that you’re about to encounter something curiously interesting- and i had a feeling this was going to be one of those times, so i really needed the extra time to look extra cute. i ended up being an hour late. granted, it made for a rather lousy first impression, but he was already taboo guy and i was already bee gees girl from that one time so long ago. though i must say those accolades from our past lives didn’t make an immediate difference– because i didn’t remember his name then and he didn’t think twice about me. he was just the guy who played taboo with style, and i was just some girl who liked the bee gees. brunch afternoon feels like just yesterday. games night, on the other hand, feels like a lifetime ago. i keep telling him now how awful he is for being 1.5 years late. at least i was only an hour late for brunch. well, i’m not sure what exactly he’s late for, but it seems to me that he was late for everything.

i also heard that in the streets of new york, there is a space in between indignation and anticipation, where one can be doomed to wait in the name of fate. that’s where i’m trapped right now, as he sleeps in the next room, completely drained from a long night out with friends and too many bottles of sake. i wish he would wake up because i miss him. but he’s reached some kind of oblivious world and i have a sinking feeling i’m not going to be able to talk to him until the afternoon.

so, while he sleeps, and i have this rare pocket of time to myself, i’d like to introduce you to Kafka. he’s tall, lean, deliberate, intelligent, tender, kind, and eternally conscious. occasionally judgmental but in an affable way. he loves music, movies, inappropriate jokes that no one else gets, narrow alleys, plaid shirts and bright colours. when he smiles, mischief springs into his eyes, and his lips will dart into that lopsided smile– and i can’t help but wonder if i’ve ever met anyone this irresistible. whenever i forget my keys and he comes to the door to get me, with open arms, those eyes and that smile, i realize with something like a painful slice how nearly we almost missed each other. and how fragile everything i hold in my hands is. one insensitive utterance, one day too late, one email not sent out, one train not taken, and i’d be somewhere else. on that brunch afternoon, we chanced upon a den of lamps, and the manager amicably suggested to Kafka that he buy a lamp for his ‘girlfriend’, i.e. me. we played along with the stranger but Kafka would later ask for my thoughts on what had happened- what do you think it is about us that made him think we were a couple? i think i said, aiyah i dont think it was anything, probably accompanied with an eye roll – but it was quite actually everything. 1.5 years late, but still, everything.

this introduction is unraveling itself quite differently from how i’ve been envisioning it, but for once i’d like to just do away with the veils and nebulous ideas – and simply tell everyone that i’m in love.

78 comments June 6th, 2010

Traversing Istanbul

don’t you think, life has a funny way of assaulting you over and over again with a recurrent theme, or pattern, or any thing – as if afraid you’re just not getting it? i’m getting it, okay, i really am. these things all hover over me like some dark shroud, how could i not? they manifest themselves in books, photos, behind posters, and even in back-up vocals when i’m not really listening to the song. but i’ve been having these out-of-body experiences lately. it’s like a bad dream where i keep watching myself intrude this holy space and dirty it with my feet, and i can’t say anything or stop myself, because it’s too late. i’m a frequent hearer of the overbearing phrase, there’s nothing you can do about it, but i always disbelieve it, because i i think it is always possible to do something about anything. if you look hard enough, there will most definitely be a sliver of a space for you to edge your fingers through, or breathe into. creativity and relentless amounts of determination is the answer. but because i’m so lazy i often think it’s not worth the work. if it’s meant to be, it will be easy. but then, i’m a frequent hearer of the overbearing phrase, there’s nothing you can do about it, and i always disbelieve it…

anyway i just realized i’m turning 22 this year. how very old! i’m inclined to believe that my life before i turned 19 was an illusion, and that the beautiful world i lived in with all those kind and loving people so long ago is merely some fluttering veil cut out from the fabric of my imagination. because lately it seems that everyone is breaking away from the system that i (once) understood. so either the world is going renegade, or i misunderstood everything for 19 years. either way, i’m horribly left behind, and i must catch up. so i’ll take the red pill for now.

more photos from Istanbul follow!:

#1 tourists at the Topkapi Palace

#2 haha i love this photo! timtam looks like he belongs in a cologne ad

#3 that must be one emotional audio guide

#4 adorable, camera-friendly children!

#5 awww they all loved timtam!

#6 obligatory tunnel shot

#7 obligatory tunnel shot II

#8 conned a group of ladies into taking a picture with me! i was, by the way, dressed so uncharacteristically ‘decent’ because timtam (practically) forced me to, for fear that we wouldn’t be allowed into the palace grounds -_- (like i couldn’t enter the sistine chapel in Rome because i was wearing a short summer dress……………. )

#9 <3

#10 americano

#11 cemetery in sultanahmet, that housed a little tea garden in its shadows!

#12 one of many fresh orange juice vendors on the streets of istanbul. they don’t make a lot of money at all

#13 after getting his permission to take a photo, i waited so long for the flag to unfurl so that i could get my shot. but it never did :( hence this is the photo that never was.

#14 lamp shop! where we did The Forbidden according to SATC2 – followed the salesman into a hidden room in the back, where he showed us… more lamps. but he was the ONLY vendor in all of istanbul to correctly guess that we were Malaysian on first attempt! we were getting so annoyed at being called singaporean -_-

#15 on the periphery of the Grand Bazaar

#16 genie lamps at the Grand Bazaar

#17 istanbul is littered with wash basins like this one. at first i thought it was for pre-prayer ritual (actually, it just may be), but i think turks just really like their washing. they’re so clean with everything!

#18 tamtimtamtimtimtam

#19 a funny sight- watermelon vendor that plopped his stand right in the middle of a street that cars frequently went through. so each time a car came by, he’d have to pick up his stand, move aside, and then return to his spot after the car had driven by. ???? but that watermelon looks so good…

#20 a little dustbin vendor

#21 HAHAHA this is the most poser photo ever!!!!!! hat + tshirt combo, check. posing for photo while exhaling smoke, check. reading book on existentialism, check check check! but i still <3 u timtam!