do you remember that scene in garden state, where they stood atop the crane and screamed out of their garbage bag shells into the infinite abyss? during nights like these when the hostility in my lungs feels almost unbearable, the most i can do is put myself in that moment. honestly i cant remember the last time i felt happy, or hopeful, like that.

p>this is the person i’m going out with:

me: if this works out in the long run, can i be the vatican to your italy?

kafka : “no no no no. if we got married you will not be an autonomous enclave. you will basically be like the Muslims under Christian Spain– you are entitled to all the rights you deserve despite not being a citizen, but ultimately you’re subject to my rules. so i’m King Philip II.”

-_-

WTF seriously

and look who did come to NYC for my twenty second! not quite everyone’s favourite prime minister or probably the world’s only self proclaimed first lady, but one who is just as dangerous yet much more loved –

my birthday was sandwiched in the center of a long, arduous week of too much work and not enough sleep, and i was so relieved when the weekend was finally here. friday morning was the dusk of what seemed like an era of lethargy, but it was nevertheless busy and i found myself being slightly annoyed that kafka hadn’t woken me up at 9am like i’d nicely asked him to. actually, he didn’t even reply my text, and as a result i was on the brink of missing an important meeting with one of my professors. i barely made the meeting, and as i rushed to the nearest library to get some homework done right before class, kafka called suddenly, speaking slowly and softly and asking where i am, what exactly am i doing, which library was i at? does it really matter which library i am at??? i have to gooooooo i have an essay due but if you must know i’m at the international affairs library! ok bye

twenty minutes later i run out the library and up the stairs and there he was, crisp and awake right off the plane from london, and back in my arms. it was like he’d never left and the week in between was merely a filmy dream from the night. if only surprises like these happened all the time, and guiltlessly too. i just saw him off at the airport some hours ago and now i’m left feeling that familiar gaping pit in my stomach. this is, rather unbelievably, the fifth year i’ve spent my birthday in a long distance relationship. but despite that i’m really quite lucky. how did i get so lucky? and why is it that airport goodbyes never get any easier?

i’m growing up!

i have nothing wise to say today, except that for the first time ever, my growth over the past year feels tangible to me. i feel different, and it feels good.

thank you for all the birthday wishes! i’ve been so sleep deprived lately that it was quite a struggle to stay up till midnight but i’m glad i did. always ready for some free love and surprise birthday cupcakes ^____^

and guess who were recently in town, but not for my birthday or anything:

i shoulda asked her for tips on how to throw a birthday party. no one does it like our first lady does!

(wow am i really twenty two? has this blog really been around for nine years?)

the silence around here has been due to the arrival of Kafka back on New York City shores. it’s been so nice having this city return to a familiar state for me, that i haven’t been wanting to do much else besides hold his hand and go to watch movies late at night after long dinners at our favourite NYC haunts. but he leaves in 12 hours, and i’m finally returning to the real world. the real world isn’t such a bad place to be, i suppose, but i’m going to miss him terribly.

he’s currently helping me assemble a bookcase that we bought together from IKEA, haha. these self-assembly things are tricky bastards; i never quite know how to feel when my furniture is standing upright and complete, but i still have a whole bunch of extra parts in my hand. so thank goodness for boyfriends then :)

some IKEA kiddery:

#1

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#5

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#9

i would have taken more pictures but these days i keep forgetting i can do things like that. also i keep forgetting i have a blog.

and, the final product!! :