Spirited Away

has it already been two months? two months since waking up in hong kong and realizing i was going to be late to the party, and after a flurry of champagne flutes, stumbling drunk out of the club onto hollywood road to find myself face to face with a shade of myself, still lingering shyly there from the past. it’s strange but it’s like meeting a pale old friend whom you know you’ve simply missed your chance with. there is this pang, and all you want to do is stay and ask how are you? over and over again in as many ways possible. but while so many things about hong kong remain the same, and palpably so, the city is different to me now. it is bitter, impatient, and almost hostile even as i gingerly try to navigate those old narrow streets and the expanse of dripping air conditioners across which the entire island is strung upon. i’m just a normal person in a strange place now.

i’m leaving hong kong soon after a summer’s worth of work — next week to be exact. i’m looking forward to going back to KL for many reasons, but most of all to be with kafka again. i’ve always very much appreciated having space (perhaps explaining why this is my 6th year in a long distance relationship) but i have just learned how sharply and painfully difficult it is to come home to a dark, dusty and empty apartment alone at night, and knowing that the same thing is going to happen tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. it doesn’t matter how loud or filled with people the preceding hours of the day were, or even if i’m brimming with happiness as i step through the door — it is an acute and exhausting acknowledgment when i brush my teeth and get ready for bed that tonight it’s going to be just me. get ready for bed… such a sad and pathetic phrase. can it be true that i haven’t lived alone before? yes it is. how funny. here i am, always thinking of myself as this independent, strong thing who enjoys competing with her boyfriend (and subsequently winning) at everything… but really, i’d lost the battle the day i agreed to meet him for a second time.

(though true to my perpetually disgruntled competitive spirit against him, i must remind everyone for the billionth time how he was a huge jerk to me when we first met. not to mention he was posing at the street corner with this cup of coffee like he’s some connoisseur when in fact he doesn’t even like coffee…… who ya think ya kidding, boi? unfortunately, me.)



18 Comments

flory

gahhh so cute

why u two so cute!

Hey, my sister is curious. How did you come across kafka?

“i have just learned how sharply and painfully difficult it is to come home to a dark, dusty and empty apartment alone at night, and knowing that the same thing is going to happen tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. it doesn’t matter how loud or filled with people the preceding hours of the day were, or even if i’m brimming with happiness as i step through the door ”

What a depressing few lines.

But in life, we really have to try hard to find the silver linings. And you obviously have found yours. :D

pensive and beautifully crafted, as always :) but do you think the city’s different now, or is it just you? this is a question i always ask myself, over and over again, when i go back to a city that has specks of my past on its dust-covered streets.

kafka

Where u say je suis un poseur, I like to remember that street corner rendezvous more like a scene from my fav movie, a meetcute story that gets better with each retelling :)
notwithstanding the jerk allegations that hv been mysteriously circulating lately, ahem…

so scheweet

why u two so cute!

adorable

quaintly

to everyone, i’m the cute one!!! not him >:(

sweatlee

i love this post!!! so much!! how! i love it so much i want to read it every night before i get ready for bed <3 <3 <3

kehrole

oh, lsa, there is so much of you to love ^_____^

Ah, you’ll be leaving Hong Kong already? Thought I could meet you when I go to HK next month lol.

John Evans

Does your paramour have a blog in which he states that he thought you were a ‘huge jerk’ when he first met you?!

TheRealAnonymous

Really do miss reading ur blogposts. Almost forgotten what a joy it is to see you put feelings into words =D

Remember to have time for me this time when you’re back in KL yeaaaaaa! =)

CHM

Unrelated to your post but I shall type this anyway. Saw you at a certain mamak shop in pandan indah. Your half second smile practice in front of the mirror was downright hilarious :P

Sir Anonymice

I think… I saw you today… at Pavilion. Might be wrong though…

pickup artist :P

RJ

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