amidst all of the commotion i could not stop thinking – how. incredibly. brave. someone out there, one beautiful soul, is stacking even more odds against themselves in this already cruel world to just do one thing: live their truth. i did not know her but i could not stop thinking about her. is she happy now? does she get to wear all the exquisite things she wants to wear? has she found love? is she safe? does she have allies? a small, wispy, murmuring part of me hoped that she could feel my well wishes across the seas, and feel the warmth of my hand reaching out for hers.

i did not know it then, and would not come to understand it for years, but the truly courageous and gladiatorial were in fact all around me, even seated right behind me – earnestly, impishly, sullenly. i had thought i was bold and strong, but all i had to show was merely a skirt cut a few inches too short, a shitty attendance record, too many opinions and no scars from the coliseum of high school realpolitik. if ever there were emblems of privilege those would be it. and so today i devour book after book, biography after biography, photograph after photograph throughout history in a desperate attempt to be just one breath closer.

if i met her, what would i say? i imagine it to be like that warm and balmy californian night, trembling with possibilities laced together by the many, many words that had been roosting and nesting deep inside me.

i could do my part, by saying “actually, her name is…”


Ya ya we should reach out and be heroes to them too!

artificially verbose

“live their truth” some people pay such a heavy price for theirs yet others run away at its mere stench. I hope to never stop trying to find and live my truth.

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