on the first night of the halloween weekend, my roommate Piglet (she picked this pseudonym on her own!!), one of our suitemates Monkey, and i all got into a big fight. i had honestly wanted to just stay in with some soup and catch up on Grey’s Anatomy and post-midterms sleep, but the big buttery blocks of tension in the air thwarted that plan. so i half-heartedly dressed up in my costume and met some friends at the same bar we were at for halloween last year, basically The Bar of our university. it’s where we all had our first freshman year party, used our fake I.D for the first time, had / will have our 21st birthday celebration, spend every Halloween … i guess one could say it’s an institution. just remember not to eat there during the day, when it sunlights as an Italian restaurant.
it was a good, long night filled with many laughs. i didnt drink as much as i did last year, but everything else was exactly the same, except we were all a year older. it felt just like yesterday that i was prancing around The Bar in my very short sailor costume and Martian was being quite grumpy about it. i remember seeing all the same faces a year ago, and what they were wearing at the time. it’s amusing to know that even after a year later, their drunken greetings dont change as they wrap their arms around me to say hi. they say all the same things, in the same fashion and lazy lull.
this time last year, it was colder, and i loved school so much more than i love it now. i was so bright-eyed and excited about the novelty and the abundance of everything. now everything has the sanitized bleakness of industrial-sized something. it’s been a long story, which perhaps warrants a whole new post of it’s own. dont worry, i’m happy — it’s just that i constantly struggle to reconcile two polar parts of myself that seem to grow apart in distance more and more each day. apparently, it happens to all of us.
as i was leaving The Bar, i dropped by a 24-hour pizza place to get some food for myself and Piglet. i knew she’d be hungry, and that she was ready to kiss and makeup after our big stupid fight, so i got us some soup and three slices of pizza that we could have while watching a korean drama (Autumn Tale, or Autumn in my Heart, to be exact). i was having some trouble balancing all that food in my hands as i was walking back to the suite, so i sat down. i chose to sit down on that stone bench in front of Furnald, right at that very moment, to arrange the paper plates of food, and on a whim, i chose to take a bite out of one particular slice of pizza — the ziti one, that was basically pasta-on-pizza.
that was how he stopped to say hi. “this is a really funny sight, a yellow duck sitting on a bench eating pizza.” that smile. that stunning smile. “it looks good, by the way. where’d you get it?” and that’s how i offered him some pizza, and we started talking — about pizza, about restaurants near campus, about hong kong, about how singapore and malaysia split in 1963 and the different versions of that story (he knew the real version, which was impressive), about universities built on lakes, about the selfishness of people from our school (or at least just the undergraduate student body, which i am in, and which he is not in), about selling out (which he did, which i am on my way to, it seems), about politics, about religion, and life. before i knew it, we’d finished all the pizza and an hour had gone by. it was really cold that night, and i wasnt dressed in very much, but i wanted to keep talking. i jokingly said to him that men are so simple: you offer them some free food and they sit with you to talk about nothing at all (or plenty) for an hour. he laughed, but walked me back home.
pictures from halloween weekend!:
#1 i walked into The Bar and saw this guy, and i thought he was dressed as a member of the Ku Klux Klan (it was dark; i couldnt see the yellow of his outfit!!). i thought he was trying to be ironic, so i found it really funny and laughed. he didnt understand why, and finally he explained to me that he was really dressed as a Brown Mustard bottle. hmph. that’s just so in your face -_- the irony would’ve been funnier.
#2 yes, i was dressed as a duck! i thought i may as well, since everyone thinks i remind them of a duck (?!) and i love ducks anyway. this is me with julie.
#3 julian and david, who both dressed as CEOs, haha. they came in with a bevy of office ho’s too!
#5 stephanie and julie. so pretty <3
#6 these girls were next to our table, being completely rowdy. we started talking, and i complimented one of them and said she was really hot. she replied with, “well yes but no one’s been hitting on me tonight!”
#7 Posh Spice. i asked her if that was her little gucci dress, and she said – “huh?” clearly not a true Spice Girls fan…
#8 it’s ALI G!!!!
#9 and then people started wearing my hat. this is alex
#10 and bikram. yes, like the yoga
#11 A, who is so boobilicious <3 sorry, the more unique names are gonna be truncated as always... i'm being googled way more than usual lately by people from school, so i'm getting a little nervous. locked my twitter as well, but feel free to request permission. i add everyone.
#12 isnt she totally adorable
#13 us with BRUNO!!!
#14 with the pi delta psi guys + singaporean girls
#15 he was a condom -_- i didnt understand, even when he started charging at my groin headfirst. i thought he was a trash bag…
#16 and this is the bartender from The Bar!!! he came dressed as a barmaid :D :D
#17 and he posed for this picture so willingly. it was his idea, even. GLEE!
#18 A and i. she came as a flapper
#19 his name is actually Gabriel
#20 the mighty morphin’ power rangers!!! when the green ranger was still around. taken during the pi delta psi halloween party, which was so packed i got my foot stepped on twice and burned by a cigarette as many times.
the second night of halloween was spent at the above frat party, where i didnt take anymore pictures, because i was (miraculously — given the sardine can conditions) wrapped in conversation. the third night of the halloween weekend was spent in … Boston! pictures to come soon. for now, i have to study for my huge macroeconomics midterm that’s happening in exactly 24 hours :(
November 3rd, 2009
we always walk into heartbreaking things, or slip into them. i was sitting in starbucks today with the usual mid-week brain cramp, staring into space, when a young blonde woman paused to rest in the center of my vision, and for some reason she brought me back to earth, and i caught sight of her clear plastic bag of apples just before she turned away. the apples reminded me of my TA from one of my classes last year. the professor had introduced them at the front of the lecture hall in the first lecture, but i wasnt paying attention, so i never put the names to any faces. inadvertently i picked his section. i walked into the little room in the math building one day, and there he was, all curly hair and crinkled white shirt like he’d just rolled out of bed reeking of intelligence and manliness. i couldnt place my finger on who he reminded me of. i later realized it was timtam he was reminiscent of — although it must be said that i wouldnt think of timtam as reeking of intelligence or manliness, ha ha ha — and it made me miss timtam, who was in aarhus at the time. but timtam likeness notwithstanding, i looked forward to section every week. cos he — the TA — was so smart. so scatterbrained but so smart. he was my first columbia crush, i think. i later chanced upon a really weird photograph of him straddling the merrill lynch bull, and that made me giggle. finance guys with horrible penmanship… just cant run away from these patterns. briefly i wondered if he could be gay; with this school, you never really know. but then i guess i didnt care too much if he was gay or not — inspiration fornicates asexually. he’s graduated now, and i have another TA whom i have not met. i wonder what he’s doing now. and i meant to write this post a whole year ago, the first day i met him, but i eventually forgot. there were no apples around to remind me.
October 15th, 2009
1. today, i saw an old lady crossing the street looking frail but grumpy. that made me think of my grandma, whom i miss very much :( i loved those 11-year-old days when she would take me on a bus ride to Genting, and we’d eat hot pei dan porridge together in that tuck shop outside the theme park in and out of which people of all shapes and sizes would shuffle even at 4 in the morning. we’d eat, and then we’d go back to KL in a cab — sometimes a bus if we were feeling broke — and she’d let me fall asleep in her lap. then i’d go straight to school.
2. it’s been an absurdly chilly fall in New York. but some days we get lucky and it’s warm enough to sit out on the grass to catch the last strains of sun.
i have missed college. it’s good to be back :)
3. but calculus is KILLING ME already. why am i still doing it, why??? this math major stuff is hard.
4. in exactly two weeks, i will be … very old. usually i feel all kinds of excitement about my birthday, but i do believe this is the first birthday i’ve ever dreaded. i’ve never understood how some people feel sad or depressed on their birthdays because they’re getting older or felt that they havent accomplished much despite their age, but i guess now that i’m officially Becoming Old, i understand too. (don’t you just hate it when you’re on the receiving end of the acrid ‘I Told You So’?) what have i done with my life?? :( almost a quarter of it is over!
5. i just perused the nominees list for the Nuffnang Awards. they’re quality!! i was actually expecting to see a whole host of ‘celebrity’ bloggers nominated for Best Food or Travel or Most Influential blog (you know lah, these days every blogger is a food blogger / travel blogger / fashion blogger all rolled into one), but Nuffnang did an excellent job shortlisting the five finalists for each category. i’m sitting down now to trawl through the Best Hidden Gem nominations. i love hidden gems! :) am starting with A Singapore Taxi Driver’s Diary — his tagline is: ‘possibly the only taxi driver in the world with a PhD from Stanford’ :D i love it already! i do relish vocational stories.
6. i made bolognese sauce today to go with my pasta ^________^ i’ve missed my yummy bolognese sauce! no mushrooms though, so this tastes like the one Tall Brother eats. whenever i make pasta sauce at home, i always have to make two pots — one that follows the recipe, and another one entirely devoid of vegetables for Tall Brother.
7. joe came to visit this weekend! he came dispensing many frowns:
joe’s a philosophy major. i was telling him how my Great Books professor was moanin’ and groanin’ about not having enough time in our syllabus dedicated to Plato’s Republic, and joe reacted like this: “OF COURSE LAH. IT’S THE FUCKING REPUBLIC!!!”
8. i’m going to watch U2 in concert tomorrow :)))
September 23rd, 2009
so i slept the entire weekend away and it felt so good. school’s out and summer is officially here for me, and i couldnt be any happier. i’m currently far away from NYC, and although i’m not home yet, it’s a huge relief to just be physically removed from the city for awhile. the rush gets to you sometimes, and you just want to go somewhere quiet, where there’s lots of love. well i’m somewhere quiet now :) and there’s lots of love. and food. and sleep. and pure, unadulterated rest. i am going to get so fat. i’m snacking on a bag of thai sweet chilli chips as i speak. 750 kcals mmmmm.
i left NYC two days ago, and despite all my griping about the place, i’m actually going to miss college. it was weird saying goodbye to people that i’d grown so close to in the span of a year, as well as the people i should have spent more time with. i got the feeling everyone couldn’t wait to leave, but mostly, the goodbyes were very sad. at the end of it all, it was easy to tell whom i’ll drift apart from. isnt it funny? in high school things like this always came so easily, and they were in your control. in college, it’s all so haphazard — but i suppose that’s why college is exciting. i already can’t wait for next year. i’m going to dive right in. enough with all this fretting about grades… four years really is too short to spend striving towards that unattainable 4.0.
my freshman dorm room… now empty :(
speaking of 4.0’s, i came really close to it this semester. i didn’t feel much joy when i got my grades though. i was just so sick and tired of it all. here’s a cute convo that i had with M — M not being his real name, but close enough, and mesoot gool being the irritating nickname that i call him just because it’s funny and he deserves an irritating nickname — and it’s a convo that reflects just how much college has changed me. if my 16 year old self knew that my 20 year old self would be like this, she would stab me. or herself. it’s also a convo that reflects how anal mesoot gool is :P so, upon us both learning that we didnt get A plusses for two of our classes:
me: i didnt get an A+ =(
M: what did you get?
me: A
M: shit and i didnt get an A+ for calculus
i got an A
WHY!!!!!
me: hahahaha
FOL, mesoot gool
M: youre right su ann FOL
me: sigh
M: 1st in-class exam – 25%
2nd in-class exam – 25%
Homework – 10%
Final – 40%
ok look this is the grade distribution for my calc class
i got 102 for my first midterm out of 100
i got 91 for the second one
my hw grade average is 92.73
and i was expecting 100 for my final
me: who’s ur lecturer again. is it XYZ?
M: nope her name is ABC
me: ohh. maybe she doesnt curve..?
M: should i send her an email asking about my final grade?
me: haha only if u want to seem really anal, sure :P
M: su ann why are you discouraging me!!!
me: hahhahaha
ok okayyyyyy
ask herrrrrrr
M: hahahaa ok i just asked her
me:what is an A+ for ur class anyway?
in most of my classes it’s 100
M: 97-100 i guess
or 98-100
me: then u prolly missed it by just a little bit..
well that sucks
M: SU ANN I WANT AN A+ FOR CALC
me: SORRY MESOOT GOOL
Mesut: FML
me: =(
Mesut: STUDY su ann lim
me: YA YA OKAY
I JUST NEEDED ONE MINUTE TO EAT SOMETHING
OMG. FML.
hahahaha see, check out college. get A also not happy, must get A+. and a person can’t even go and eat something without people reprimanding her for not studying. US hopefuls, still want to come to america for college now?? haih whatever lah. summer summer summer summer summer is upon me. in 2 weeks i will be home :) MALAYSIA, GET READY FOR ME!!!
some things i’m going to do over summer, or at least, what i can think of right now in my somnolent state:
fling self into arms of all friends and loved ones in KL <3
learn how to use my new camera
get back on MSN and talk to all the people i’ve missed and had to cut short conversations with over the academic year cos i was busy :(
finally get started on that blog layout revamp that i’ve been talking about for the past year
try not to think about the Grey’s finale or burst into tears everytime i see/hear THAT NUMBER.
catch up on all the episodes of ANTM and Heroes that i’ve missed out on. actually i dont even know if Heroes is worth the time anymore
check out a new tv series. torn in between exploring Lost, True Blood or a Korean drama series
read read read read read read read. getting started on Chuck Palahniuk’s Choke. next one, Curtis Sittenfeld’s latest book. and then The Witch of Portobello. and then Catch 22. it’s going to be so good reading books for leisure again.
tinker with my newly acquired Kindle. thank you mac :)
SIMS 3 OMFG
eat malaysian food every day until i die
pick up piano or the drums again. most likely piano
go for math tuition. i am actually not kidding. if i want that A+ in Calc 3 (hahaha) next semester, this is actually going to be what i have to do
find a buddy to practice italian with so that i don’t get rusty. either find one online, revisit that relationship with Mr Hotelier or skype with italian classmates every weekend. all do not sound at all likely.
klang bak kut teh with the parents on sunday mornings!!!
play a game or two of DotA… or ten
visit SS15 and finish that SS15 post that’s been sitting around in my drafts for the past two years
make a couple more of those self indulgent How Well Do You Know Su Ann quizzes on Facebook
make a trip to Cameron Highlands for that strawberry milkshake. sigh. memories of 2004.
make a trip to Penang for everything else
finally get that diving license… (pending since 2005)
finally get that dRiving license…(also pending since 2005)
do a beach holiday somewhere with the besties. get a tan. then bemoan tan.
plan holidays that will never happen
visit Kai Tan (that’s my grandmother; not her real name, but it may as well be. Kai Tan!)
drunk pseudo-philosophical conversations about love where i try not to punch the person next to me
McDonalds drive through nights. azlannnnn!!!
summer movies galore. CANNOT WAIT. my first summer movie was Angels & Demons which was a pretty crap adaptation.
build something. like a robot.
re-read the Five Find Outers series by Enid Blyton
go swimming. or get hair extensions up to my butt
learn how to spinnnnn
disturb my brothers
disturb my parents
eat kim gary french toast!
play tennis
eat yau char kwai
go back to the starbucks in telawi 3
commence plans for my upcoming laser tag business. i’m kidding. but i shouldnt be.
sleep. really. just sleep.
a very lazy list as you can tell. but it’s SUMMER. man, a holiday has never felt this good. i’m going to recharge myself to the max for sophomore year. and for this:
May 18th, 2009
