Come On, Young Malaysians

there are a few things about the upcoming elections that have been weighing on my mind lately. quite disturbing things, actually. i’m glad to finally have the time to sit down and blog about them. so here goes.

1. Indifferent Young Malaysians
i recently read a blog post about the elections, centered around the racist politics of BN. many of the responding comments on this post were along the lines of, ‘we can’t change things, so migrate only lah!’, and ’sigh politics sucks. i don’t want to get involved’, and these were coming from teenagers my age or younger. the most unsettling comment was from a young girl who said ‘i hate this controversy and i’m glad i’m too young to vote’.

comments like that one disturb me. what kind of education are we putting our young people through if they can say things like they’re glad to not be able to vote? i remember one particular comment in this post i wrote, also by a young girl, who pretty much said that i shouldn’t have written that post because the world is already so full of anger. so… what does that mean? if injustices happen, we’re supposed to ignore them in the name of harmony? i am reminded of all the paragraphs in my Sejarah and Moral textbooks where rakyat bukan Melayu tidak harus menyoalkan hak istimewa kaum Melayu supaya tidak menimbulkan perasaan tidak selesa antara kaum. (non-Malays should not question the special rights of Malays in order to maintain harmony between races)

i am reminded of how our Sejarah teachers make us memorize this tripe and never once tell us that we shouldn’t subscribe to this sort of doctrine if we want to progress as a people and a nation. i am reminded of how before each exam, i’d be cramming sentences like these into my head, and then writing them out in essays during the exam, always accepting such statements, only caring about whether i’ll get 10/10 for the essay, never really thinking about the meaning behind what i’m writing. that’s the problem with us young Malaysians. we never think. either because we’re lazy, or we’re trained from the start to think that speaking up for what’s right, and ‘controversy’ (hah), is bad and will contribute to bloody events like … jengjengjeng … May 13. please lah okay. read up on the history of May 13 and decide for yourself what it means, before you allow your Sejarah textbook to tell you what to think.

don’t be afraid just because MPs like BN’s Chew Mei Fun can say ridiculous things like - May 13 will happen again if BN is given insufficient representation. how dare she hold people at ransom like that. how dare she. people of PJ Utara, i urge you to remember the audacity of her threat when you are casting your vote on the 8th of March.

and how can young malaysians say that they are glad not to vote. this is completely beyond me and i am so disappointed in my fellow young malaysians. why are we being yes-men, and playing into the hands of this regime who are out to exploit the hell out of us?

you know what else is completely beyond me? i hate how people complain and complain and complain about the government and status quo, but then when you ask them if they’re registered to vote, they say no they’re not. why? lazy lah… one vote doesnt matter lah… no time lah… BN will win anyway lah… want to boycott electoral system lah… i give up on local politics lah.. and many more other incredulous statements. aiyo don’t be like that lah okay. the word hypocrite comes to mind. if you want change, be part of the change. don’t sit around and be an empty vessel full of hot air.

2. Khairy Jamaluddin vs Chegubard in Rembau
someone i know wrote a blogpost about how she’d vote for BN’s Khairy Jamaluddin over PKR’s Badrul H Shaharin (aka Chegubard) any day. she’s apparently part of Khairy’s campaign trail over in Rembau (where he’s contesting for the parliamentary seat), and her post was about her first hand account of how hardworking and articulate and smart Khairy is compared to Chegubard. and that Chegubard’s team played dirty like tearing down posters etc. for these reasons, she said she would vote for Khairy and that she has lost respect for PKR.

this is beyond shocking okay. things like tearing down posters and smear campaigns are so common during elections, but if dirty pool is supposed to be the tipping point in a person’s voting decision, then i daresay BN plays harder and dirtier than the opposition ever has. they practically control the entire elections machinery, and that is the BIGGEST form of dirty pool one can point out. remember Ijok, Machap? phantom voters? 100+ year old voters and 8 year old voters on the electoral roll? people finding out after some checking that they’ve supposedly voted in different constituencies? amendment of constitution to ensure the corrupt EC chairman retains his position? reckless gerrymandering (dividing voting districts unfairly) to ensure BN victories?

all these and more handicap the opposition parties. they cant even voice out their messages through mainstream media because all the broadcasting stations and newspapers are BN-controlled. and now BN is encroaching on the internet as well, taking out expensive ads on MSN and Yahoo. and with the tagline Vote for Malaysia? are you KIDDING me ah? what an insult to our intelligence.

yet in light of all this unfairness, PKR is condemned for tearing down a bunch of posters and the Rembau Menanti Anda campaign. no, it’s not the cleanest thing to do, but it’s fighting fire with fire and the only way to gain some traction in this BN-controlled system.

and so what if Khairy is hardworking articulate blablabla. EVERYONE is hardworking during elections. everyone gives false promises, empty rhetoric… Khairy’s father-in-law aka our Prime Minister Pak Lah is a fine example. combating corruption was his manifesto in 2004, but what improvement do you see so far? how ironic that we now find out that the Anti Corruption Agency is perhaps the most corrupt body in our government. and now 4 years later, Pak Lah says he needs more time to carry out this promise. what is that but a flimsy packaging for ‘I failed, but please give me your votes once again’?

Khairy is no angel lah. yes yes articulate… yes yes Oxford graduate.. but that means shit if you are a blatant racist and a nepotist. remember how he played to the UMNO gallery by saying that ‘UMNO must be strong otherwise the Malaysian Chinese will take advantage’? what the hell is ‘taking advantage’?!?! he later goes on to give examples of how this means that the Chinese will assert demands to benefit the Chinese community if UMNO is weak. hello? do you really want to vote in this character who believes that the Chinese community should not be given benefits and cannot even VOICE these demands? do you really want to vote into parliament this conniving racist who thinks that only Malays and UMNO have the right to be happy in this country? do you really want to vote in someone who thinks that a community asking for fairness is ‘taking advantage’ of a supposedly more ’superior’ race?

let’s not forget that infamous ECM Libra Ave incident where Khairy was SO PROUD to say that he would sell his shares worth RM 10 million ONLY to a Malay-owned company. racist racist racist and such obvious fanning of Malay semangat. so what if you are well-read and eloquent? you’re still greedy, corrupt and perpetuating the biggest problem Malaysia faces. the rest of Malaysia does not buy your empty election-time rhetoric. OF COURSE Khairy is going to be hardworking… getting into Parliament is just another step to take over the premiership reigns from dear ol FIL. this election is a boat that he cannot afford to miss. so it’s hardly impressive that he’s staying out till late at night to berceramah to the people.

i would NEVER ever vote for Khairy if he stood in my constituency. even if he’s a nice and sweet individual or whatever, i would never vote for someone who subscribed to the policies of UMNO Youth. yes, in Malaysia it is so unavoidable to vote along party lines. it is the only way to cleanse the system. so, one state assemblyman or MP may be more experienced or kinder looking than the other .. but at the end of the day he is still a part of a corrupt and insecure regime; a corrupt and insecure regime that you are putting into Cabinet and Parliament with your vote. what is MCA but castrated. what is MIC but helpless.

and what is UMNO? by the words of Chief Minister of Melaka - UMNO is unsinkable and even God cannot sink it. LOL. this is the party you are voting in if you vote Khairy into Parliament. i once saw the book titled - Khairy Jamaluddin, Bakal PM?. god forbid, ok? are our BN representatives so pathetic that people are enamored the moment they see a candidate who can speak good english and is articulate? articulate and hardworking people are a dime a dozen lah… but they are all studying and working abroad because MALAYSIA DROVE THEM AWAY.

——————-

only these 2 issues for now. i’ve got another 3 more to go but have no time, sigh :( meanwhile, would love to hear any comments that you guys have on these two issues.

8th of march 8th of march 8th of march. i’m really, really, really excited.

Comments March 2nd, 2008

This Post Is Not A Joke

you know what makes me angry?

i hate it when people do stupid, rude, spiteful things… and then when they get in trouble for it, turn around and say it was all a JOKE.

isnt that just the number one escape plan of the century? so just because you apparently saw it fit to create COMEDY in a situation that didn’t warrant it, you dont have to be held responsible for the damage you caused? because everything you did was just a JOKE, you dont have to own up to your immature and bad judgment of even making such a ridiculous joke in the first place?

and that’s even IF the ‘joke’ was really supposed to be a joke, instead of a damage control escape route for when you find yourself chin-deep in shit.

i have absolutely no respect for people who cant take responsibility for their own wrongdoings, but instead choose to shift blame or to make stupid excuses like, ‘i was only joking’ or ‘cant you recognize a joke when you see one?’. if you screw up, admit it and take it like a person with integrity. deal with the backlash appropriately and make amends - that’s only the right and responsible thing to do. how DARE you make yourself the martyr in this situation when you were the one who decided to take that offensive step, accusing other people of misunderstanding you or not having ‘a sense of humour’!

i’m ranting about this today because over the weekend, i watched a video of a conversation between two Malaysian Muslim bloggers, who in the video, said that non-Muslim Malaysians should tattoo ‘I Am A Kafir’ across their foreheads and chests so as to not be confused with Muslims.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT.

i am in SHOCK AND DISGUST. at the utter bigotry. audacity. and dirty mockery displayed by these two bloggers who claim to be righteous defenders of Islam. the 16-minute video starts by a claim that ‘Christians in Malaysia are getting out of hand’ and that ‘Muslims like them have to speak up on this and not keep their religion to themselves’. they later say that Christians constantly meddle with Muslim affairs and that Christians should not try to shove their religion down the throats of Muslims. and then they go on to say - in reference to the Gan Eng Gor case - that non-Muslims should tattoo ‘I Am A Kafir’ across their foreheads and chests so that they wont be mistaken as Muslims in event of their death.

isn’t the hypocrisy so glaring.

after a huge backlash from the online community, both these bloggers have come out to snidely say that they were ‘only joking’. in the words of one of them, ‘Learn to differentiate between a statement and a joke’. he even quoted Voltaire. LOL LOL LOL.

see this is what i never understand about religious fascists. i dont understand how people who claim to love God and aspire to be godlike, can go around pointing fingers in people’s faces, screaming “you’re going straight to hell! there are demons in you!”. i dont understand how people who are enlightened by spirituality can have so much anger and hate and intolerance towards those who do not share their beliefs. and i definitely do NOT understand how people who subscribe to a religion that teaches fairness, understanding and patience, can come out and say Nazi-like things like ‘non believers should tattoo themselves’. i dont understand how people who shove their religion down other people’s throats can be so thick-skinned to tell followers of other religions to not do the same to them. all not very godlike to me.

again in relation to the Gan case, the blogger later goes on to say how they don’t want non-Muslims in Muslim cemeteries anyway. how disgustingly intolerant does that sound to you? he talks as if non-Muslims are dirtier and of lower breed compared to Muslims.

the same guy also says, ‘Well, by now every Islamophobe in Malaysia must be losing sleep and getting very pissed off … There are others amongst the Non Muslims who just mind their own business and choose to live in peace amongst Malaysia’s multi-ethnic, multi-faithed population.’

dont you love how this guy first said that Muslims must speak up about how non-Muslims are ‘getting out of hand’, but when non-Muslims (or in his words, ISLAMOPHOBES wtf) speak up against Muslims getting out of hand, it’s not right? apparently when such hate-inciting and fascist videos are made about non-Muslims, we’re supposed to just suck it up and mind our own business and live in peace among Malaysia’s multi-ethnic and multi-faithed society. why? because we’re non-Muslims.

people like these two bloggers know that they can do all this shit and get away with it, because the country protects people like them. we have all these badan-badan and all these organisasi that are formed just for this purpose, and also to keep a close watch on the rest of us non-Muslims who so much as bring up any isu-isu sensitif about religion. one of these bloggers even wrote on his blog that the Islamic authorities should take action on their behalf. i am so LIVID. i am ANGRY that Namewee who made the Negarakuku video had to go through so much crap and contempt from our country’s administrators and even faced threats of exile, but these two bloggers who created a video that is so much more vulgar and repulsive, can get away smug and scot free. yes i am LIVID. i am SO ANGRY. how is this fair???

WHY IS MY COUNTRY LIKE THIS. WHY.

Comments February 4th, 2008

Loyalty and Lions

today i’m choosing to blog about loyalty. i dont quite know what the point of this post will be or what i want to say, and i’ve still got a lot of conflicting ideas about the topic, but i believe my non-existent message will unravel itself as long as i continue typing.

i am aggressively loyal to the people i love and care most about, and this is a loyalty that transcends all logic and reason. my best friends could be the worst people on earth and i would still love them always. for instance, sieutheng can be very selfish sometimes but i dont care because she’s sieutheng and i love her. waimin tends to push us away when she’s in trouble, but i will still always be there for her because she is waimin. i’m very anti-fur, and even though tzeching is like ‘fuck all you fur activists la have you not felt how soft mink/fox/rabbit fur is!’ (quoted verbatim from her blog wtf!), i will still always love her because she is pang tze ching and we used to trade sweet valley books wtf.

sometimes i struggle with this kind of loyalty and i wonder if i’m making the right decisions. i dont know what exactly the struggle is but there just is a weird tension between my principles and my loyalty. like the fur thing for instance - i would immediately dislike any stranger who said anything remotely close to what tzeching said, but i would never harbour such thoughts against tze ching. when she says things like that, i just go haiyaaahhh why this tze ching so like that wan! and then i’ll continue chatting with her about our mutual love for grey’s anatomy and pretty handbags. and then there’s also the fact that i hate all my best friends’ evil ex-boyfriends simply because they broke my best friends’ hearts. that’s loyalty. but is it fair to these ex-boyfriends? granted they probably don’t really care, but it is an unfair judgment nevertheless because i don’t know their side of the story. but then again does such a judgment matter if it doesnt affect their lives in any way and is only brought up when a good ex-boyfriend-bashing sleepover session is in order? you see what i mean when i say there is a weird tension between my loyalty and what is right?

i guess what i’m trying to say is - i generally don’t like to judge people i’ve not encountered or who have never done anything wrong to me, BUT THEN this rule doesn’t apply anymore when it’s my best friends or family who have been wronged by other parties. and that even in situations where my friends and family are wrong and do things that are totally against my principles, i don’t fault or disrespect them. all that stuff just goes right over my head. it’s like a blind love thing.

some days i like this part of myself. some days i dont.

there is a second facet to this whole loyalty issue that i’d like to touch on. i have a story of me, my friend Aaron, a girl Belinda whom everyone hates, and a guy Chuck whom everyone hates. my friend Aaron hates Chuck, ok? and i really hate Belinda. conflict: my friend Aaron really likes Belinda for reasons unknown to the universe and all of its inhabitants and i swear this is not an exaggeration. a bit of background - Aaron has a lot of friends who are very loyal to him, and i am one of those friends. loyalty to Aaron is a default dislike / contempt / non-contact with Chuck; basically if you are friends with Chuck, you are not a friend of Aaron’s.

when i first met Aaron, i instantly took a liking to him. to me, he was one of those genuine guys whom i felt close to very quickly and could really click with. i’d met Chuck before and i didnt think much of him, but when Aaron told me all the stories there were to tell and i had digested all of them, my position on Chuck was now a total 100% dislike and i wouldn’t have touched him with a 6 foot pole. why? because i trust Aaron and i believe that everything he tells me is true. even though Chuck had never personally done anything wrong to me.

now we bring in Belinda, whom i absolutely loathe for many, many reasons. Aaron knows this, and he also knows that EVERYBODY (again, not an exaggeration) doesn’t like her and also hold the same contempt for her that i do. yet he dismisses all of our views, scolds some of us, and continues protecting Belinda and trying to placate her. he takes ’stuff’ from some of us to give to her, which makes us really angry and confused. at the same time he keeps announcing his complete neutrality in this Belinda vs The World issue, when it is very obvious to everybody that he is in fact biased in her favor. he cites that he does this because Belinda is loyal to him.

my question is, is it fair to dismiss everybody else’s loyalty for Belinda’s loyalty? the rest of us external observers know why she is ‘loyal’ and it is for completely materialistic and selfish reasons. Aaron of course refuses to see this. i cant speak for everyone else involved, but i know that my feelings have been extremely hurt. i showed him nothing but unwavering support in his crusade against Chuck, but when it comes to Belinda - my opinion doesnt matter, he doesn’t believe me, and he chooses her over me and the rest of us. it’s hurtful. it makes me wonder about loyalty. is there a loyalty that is more important than others? right now i fail to see what is so noble and great about this material-based loyalty that Belinda shows him, compared to the collective loyalty that the rest of us have given him.

the third facet of this loyalty issue - what happens when someone takes advantage of the loyalty his or her friends show? without going too much into detail because i am really just. so. tired, the story goes that there is this friend of ours whom we love very, very much. but lately he’s been taking advantage of his eternal get-out-of-jail-free card and taking certain liberties with us. we’ve told him that we don’t appreciate him using us like this, but it falls on deaf ears and he actually starts lying to us so that we don’t realize what he’s doing. and of course, we believe all his lies because he’s our friend.

some of us are extremely angry at him and want to cut him out of our circle. i’m a little bit angry too, but loyalty dictates that i stick to him no matter what, even though he has become this conniving little lying thing that i no longer recognize. i cant tell you what he does and what he lies about, and i understand that this lack of information is probably pretty crucial to any decision one would have to make.. but what would you do if you were me? he’s not changing his ways. so do i stay with him and give him space to be himself, at the risk of propagating his selfishness and ignorance… OR do i work with this boycott on him so that he eventually comes to his senses and learns that he cant get away with treating his friends like shit?

loyalty. such a multi-faceted thing. please do leave me any of your views and comments on this topic, i would very much appreciate it :)

EDIT: i’ve just heard that some silly person thinks she’s Belinda, and she went and lodged a little complaint to the person she thinks is Aaron. all i can say is, the world does not revolve around you, ok? you may for some obscure reason think that it does, but i can assure you that reality is far from your assumption. if you think you have lots of things in common with Belinda, then that is a very, very, very sad thing to realize about yourself, because Belinda is a horrible and rude person whom nobody likes.

do NOT try getting me in trouble with this person whom you think is Aaron. you are, as always, really pushing the limits of my patience. just try to be a nice person for once; it’s not very hard. as of now and in relation to the issues brought up in this post, my BEST FRIENDS are going through some problems, and i intend to be there to support them. clearly, you are not one of my best friends. so, do not hijack this and turn it into one of those chapters in the elaborate movie of your life. in a nutshell, please dont be so damn perasan.

Comments January 20th, 2008

Bersih Cekap Amanah Or Something Like That Lah

i want to relay an incident that happened to me recently. it was about 2 a.m, and i’d just finished watching a midnight movie with my brothers at Mid Valley. as usual, the ‘midnight charge’ touter cabbies were already parked at the South Court, grouping together for a smoke while waiting for people to rip-off.

my brothers and i take cabs ALL the time, and we’ve seen our fair share of rip-off cabbies who charge you a fare that’s triple of what it would usually cost to get you home, so we don’t deign to contribute to the pocket money of such touts. so we walked out to the street to hail a cab as we normally do, while ignoring the touts who were hollering ‘pergi mana? pergi mana?’ (where are you going?) at us.

but one of them actually approached us to ask where we wanted to go, and when we told him where, he quoted us an exorbitant price of RM 40. we shook our heads and said we would only take his cab if he used the meter.

and he said OKAY.

pleasantly surprised, we got into the cab and he drove us off. Tall Brother started telling us in Cantonese that this guy must be up to no good, because he was way too eager to use the meter, which would normally come up to only RM 12. i replied back that he must have rigged his meter, but even so, the price difference probably wouldn’t be too big.

but guess what? by the time we were halfway home, the meter already read RM 30. keep in mind that after midnight, there is an extra 50% charge on whatever is on the meter. we were just watching the meter go up and up and up with raised eyebrows. finally, my brother said, ‘hey bro, why your meter like that?’ and the cabbie gave some stupid reply like his meter was working perfectly well.

then i said, ‘you’re a cheat’.

and that sparked off a HUGE argument between me and the cabbie. we were just YELLING at each other the whole time. he actually had pretty decent english, so it wasnt like we couldn’t communicate. i kept asserting that we KNOW how much it costs because we go home from MV all the time, and it’s never more than RM 15. he had absolutely no defense for himself, so he started attacking us personally, saying things like - ‘you’re rich kids anyway, what’s the fuss over an extra ten bucks here and there? just ask your daddy for the money lah’. and that really got me riled up because this cabbie knows NOTHING about us, but saw it fit to make dumb comments like that when he was blatantly making a living from conning others. so we argued argued and argued and exchanged many vicious remarks, until he finally said -

“okay, if you want to keep accusing me of rigging my meter, let’s bring this to the police station”.

i said, okay let’s go. we will take no shit from conman cabbies who are a disgrace to the entire service industry of the country.

and then guess what he said to me? he LAUGHED, and he said, “think properly before you make such a decision, girl. if we went to the police station, who do you think the police will help? you or me? you ni orang cina saja; aku siapa tau tak?. (you’re only chinese, do you know who i am?)”

i just sat back and said, ‘just drive to the police station’, but deep down inside i knew what he said was true. he would bring us to the station, and then what? was i to lodge a report? i knew without a doubt that we would be put through some nonsense paperwork, and then get jeered at, and then be told to walk home. all this while the cabbie gets a manly round of handshakes and pats on the back from the cops at the station. my report will go nowhere, and that disgusting cabbie will go on to rip off and take advantage of many, many more people.

because the cops let him do it.

so yes, this is not a blog about the scores of rip-off cab drivers in our city that choose to make a dishonest living. this is a blog about the police force of our country, and how they are a no-good, corrupt, unprincipled and lazy force that have SO MUCH to do before they can start calling rightfully calling themselves the keepers of law and peace.

the cabbie eventually didn’t bring us to the police station (*rolls eyes*) because he claimed he didnt want to embarrass us. if he had actually brought us there, the experience wouldnt have been embarrassing, but INFURIATING. i know i only made an assumption on what would happen, but believe me when i say that i’ve witnessed how the cops can be extremely racist and lazy when people go in to make reports, and how oftentimes they help the people on the wrong side without so much as batting an eyelid.

my mother, who was MUGGED a few years back, was laughed at when she went in to make a report. she was told by the police that she had it coming, because it was her fault for carrying so much money around. exact words - “auntie… you punya pasal lah… kenapa nak bawa duit banyak banyak?”. this obviously made my mother very angry, and she told them that as law enforcers, they should be out there trying to prevent more crime cases from happening instead of telling victims of muggers that ‘it’s their fault and that they had it coming’. and then you know what they told her?

they told her to ‘balik tongsan’. (go back to china)

my aunt who was robbed by a cab driver, and another aunt and another cousin who were victims of snatch theft received similar treatment when they went in to lodge a report. i’m sure many of you have faced the same things too. and it’s not just the chinese and indians and dan lain lains who’re affected by the inefficiencies of our police, but even malays who go in to lodge reports are treated with laziness and pure indifference. so this is something that’s beyond racism. it is simply a total lack of concern and sense of duty.

i truly and wholly believe that the duty and responsibility of the police is to take care of the people of Malaysia. that means everyone from the top brass right down to the commoners on the streets. but what happens in a corrupt and insecure government regime is that even the law enforcers (along with the judiciary!) are crafted out to be on their side, even if this means going against the people and harming them if necessary. case in point - Hindraf rallies and all subsequent police vs people events. i was so nauseated when i saw videos of the police dragging and beating innocent people up, and then later on in the newspapers read how some oh-so-valiant cop sustained some minor arm and head injury in the line of duty while ‘attempting to disperse illegal and violent rioters’. and not to mention the Hindraf supporters who are currently being charged for attempted murder against a cop.

PLEASE LAH OKAY. what is it about the PDRM badge and some fancy uniform that gives them the right to attack civilians - who are merely VOICING THEIR RIGHTS - and injure them, and then get off scot free for it? i think our police seriously need to start thinking about the principles behind their job and to reassess who they really should be protecting.

even on the social scale, i will be completely honest in saying that i dont trust our police officers at all. they dont make me feel safe, and i dont feel like they will help me in a situation of danger or need. and i’m very VERY sure i’m not alone in saying this. how many of you have been stopped by cops on the road and then asked for bribes? (i have a lovely story of a friend who was driving a couple of indian friends in the car : they were all stopped at a roadblock on the day of the huge Hindraf rally, and were ASKED FOR A BRIBE if they ‘didnt want any trouble’. wtf?? they were just going to Bangsar for banana leaf rice for goodness’ sake!!!) how many of you have lodged a report only to have your situation made light of by the very people who are supposed to be taking your case seriously and trying their very best to solve it? how many of you would worry that our cops would punch you in the face if you tried to argue with them? how many of you girls have had your legs leered at lecherously by male cops from the windows of their patrol cars?

i’ll tell you what my very worst experience with the cops are. someone very, very close to me was detained for 10 days in the lock-up two years ago in a huge mix-up. we visited her almost every day at Pudu Jail, bringing food and toiletries because omg you CANNOT IMAGINE what the conditions of the lock-ups are like. but we weren’t allowed to bring her the food and other stuff unless we bribed the wardens and the cops stationed there. and that is a HUGE amount of money if everyone there wants RM 50 minimum. a few times we actually did give them the money out of desperation, but we later found out that the stuff never reached her. they just fucking threw it away because they couldnt be bothered to send someone to search for her cell and pass her the stuff.

because we cant be parting with thousands of dollars just to see our friend every day, we later formulated a better idea. we brought buckets of KFC to the lock-up as bribe, just so long as they passed a few pieces to our friend during mealtimes. oh but of course they neglected to do this. when we confronted them the next day, they flatly told us there simply wasnt enough KFC to go around. they also said that there’s nothing that we can do anyway if they didnt pass on the food, because OOH, it is ILLEGAL for outsiders to pass things to people inside the lock-up! wow suddenly all this concern with the law eh.

this episode really opened my eyes to the blatant corruption that takes place in our police force. even when we went to Bukit Aman to try to sort out the paperwork, we were met with inquiry after inquiry as to ‘what we were willing to do’ to get our friend out of the lock-up. it was disgusting, it really was. when our friend was finally released from the lock-up after the whole mess was sorted out, i quietly told the rudest cop there that i would report everything that he and the other officers had said and done. he laughed and said, ‘report only lah. who would you report to?’ and it’s true. who do i report to? the cops? the ACA? no wonder he laughed.

more and more of my friends are studying abroad and never coming back. why? i ask them, and they tell me it’s because they can’t stand Malaysia anymore. they’re all going to Singapore and Australia. i remember one time in Melbourne when i was about eight years old and walking around St Kilda’s alone, a lovely police officer came up to me and asked if i was lost, where my parents were, if i had come out alone, what my name was. when i went back to my parents, the first thing i said was, ‘why in Malaysia dont have police wan?’

i suppose they’re all just too busy with their long tea breaks and going around to illegal businesses collecting handsome bribes from the taikors, to be seen out on the streets preventing crime and righting wrongs. after all, why work up a sweat catching criminals when you can have karipap, eh?

Comments December 8th, 2007

Where Do I Run To Now

post-shower and shivering - i swear i can feel the walls of my blood vessels frosting up. i am sitting here bundled up heavily in towels, wondering how is it possible that it can be so cold here. hello, equator? where are you? my remarkable self-insulation abilities regretfully do not extend to the physical. right now, little shorts and tank tops - all i brought - and the hotel towels are all i have.

i’m not supposed to be here. i dont even want to be here. but then i figure, better a strange hotel room stocked with Pringles, than a tainted and sickening apartment where the floors will forever ooze contempt and betrayal. better to freeze here alone than to face what i should have avoided all along. i just feel really stupid right now. regretful. scathed. but at least i have all this anger to help me heal.

the city is beckoning from beneath the window, but i’ve just been room-servicing the days away. chicken katsu don on the first night, then fish and chips, then caesar salad and french onion soup. i feel like the protagonist in a Murakami book, only without the alcohol and the weird sex. there’s just this comfort in holing yourself up in your hotel room - the sedation and solitude is a much better second-hand than the ones we have on our real clocks. the mood to explore just isnt there, no matter how tempting those banana pancakes they sell on the streets are. all i can think about are college and murder.

i’m just so mad lah i dont know where to channel all this frustration. went to THAT MALL earlier this afternoon for some reluctant shopping, and i wanted to scream when the waitress led me to THAT TABLE. you wanted a legacy, right? well you fucking left one. what is this, some kind of elaborate plan that you cooked up? did you see this coming and smirk to yourself? this legacy shit is so dumb. and insensitive. and hurtful. all the things you are.

tonight, Khao San Road calls. i’m really quite thrilled at the idea of being there. the possibilities and adventures are just endless.

Comments December 4th, 2007